When there is a chance
Take a day for yourself. That
advice does me well.

Thursday with the blood.
Friday with those who let me
be me. Which better?

A nice dose of junta-bashing. A policy for disaster. The Congressional Budget Office report looks at a range of possible paths for federal spending and revenues over the next 50 years and combines them into various hypothetical scenarios. [...] Unless taxation reaches unprecedented levels, current spending policies will be financially unsustainable over the next 50 years. An ever-growing burden of federal debt held by the public would have a corrosive and potentially contractionary effect on the economy. [...] If taxation is restricted to the levels that prevailed in the past, the growth of entitlement spending will have to be substantially reduced. Restricting the growth of outlays for defense, education, transportation, and other discretionary programs would not be enough to ensure fiscal sustainability. Likewise, economic growth alone is unlikely to bring the nation's long-term fiscal position into balance. Moreover, issuing ever-larger amounts of debt or dramatically raising tax rates could significantly reduce growth. [via braddelong]

And a dose of Euroenron, for balance. Parmalat, the bankrupt Italian dairy and food giant, used a tangled dozens of offshore front companies to invent assets to offset up to EUR 9 milliard. The crisis at Parmalat is by far the largest European accounting scandal of recent years and raises questions about the ability of auditors to do their job properly. For instance, the whole scandal blew up when Parmalat sent auditors Grant Thornton documents on Bank of America letterheads confirming the accounts. Bank of America subsequently declared the letters forgeries. Surely Bank of America should have confirmed the authenticity to the auditors directly, instead of fobbing them off with their own evidence. Du-uh!

Gossip... Clitring Aguilera is a top role model for teenage girls, says a magazine given a huge wodge by Clitring's record company... A US yab reports Kiddyfiddler married Alisha, a "young beauty", over the summer... The latest word from Mars: "Hello. Vote for us. We're better than Britain"... The Spice Girls' royalty cheques for this year: around EUR 10,000 each.

Pop Idle Global. In brief.

Alexander. Great.

Guy. Cut the vibrato and he might have something.

Diana. Well, that's set the bar remarkably high.

Jamai. Reminds me of Paris from Star Academy 2, a clear talent, but not yet developed.

Heinz. Now that is good. Very good.

Alex. Auditioned in a "Tiger Club" t-shirt, sings like she owns the song. Next stop: Eurovision.

Ryan. Competent to very good.

Kelly. Iconic hand gestures! Too much vibrato! A decent voice, but...

Peter. Everything we hoped Mr Brame would be, without the obvious corporate sellout halfway through.

Will. The Doors via Henry Mancini and the Mike Flowers Pops.

Kurt. A lot of talent there.

Final score: Alex over Diana and Peter by a nose, then Kurt, Alexander, Heinz. The rest nowhere.

"And now, here's the queen."
Five words to incite a mass
outbreak of snoring.

And another seemingly impossible task is completed. What remains theoretically possible, but never achieved?

Waiting for the tape
with our end of year backup
to finish. Then go.

The annual King William's Quiz. It's a bit easier than normal this year, Question 5 should hold no fears for anyone, and I reckon I've got around 20 points on first glance. The average is surely more than two.

For the last time this season, it's NFL Tables You Can Use!

AFC East                     W L Div Com
**-New England Flying Elvii 13 2 4-1 7-1
x-Miami Marine Mammals       9 6 3-2 4-4
x-Buffalo Peelers            6 9 2-3 3-5
x-New Jersey / B             6 9 1-4 4-4

AFC North                 W  L Div Com
Baltimore Quoths          9  6 3-2 5-3
Cincinnati Bungles        8  7 3-2 4-4
x-Pittsburgh Iron Pyrites 6  9 3-2 3-5
x-Cleveland Browns v2.11b 4 11 1-4 3-5

AFC South                    W  L Div Com
*-Indianapolis Lucky Charms 11  4 4-1 6-2
*-Flaming Thumbtacks        11  4 4-2 5-2
x-Jacksonville Inkspots      5 10 2-4 2-5
x-Houston Moo Cows           5 10 1-4 4-4

AFC West               W  L Div Com
**-Kansas City Chiefs 12  3 5-1 5-2
*-Denver Cursors      10  5 5-1 4-3
x-Oakland Ramraiders   4 11 1-4 3-5
x-San Diego Flats      3 12 0-5 3-5

Denver's victory over the Charms means we know five of the playoff sides, with Baltimore "only" having to beat the Iron Pyrites to secure the victory. Fail, and the Bungles' dream continues, but only if they can down the Browns.

Elsewhere, Denver will probably be #6 seed; it'll take a Cursors win against Green Bay, a win for the Thumbtacks against Tampa and defeat for the Charms against Houston to put them at #5. Similarly, we can see Indy's is still the division to lose, especially as they have tiebreakers over the Flames. I'm not confirming the Elvii as #1 seed just yet; a win for Kansas against Chicago, a defeat for the Elvii against NJB, and the sides have equal 10-2 conference records, and it comes down to Obscure Tiebreakers.

NFC East                                    W  L Div Com
*-Philadelphia Lovers                      11  4 4-1 6-2
*-Dallas Cowpersons                        10  5 5-1 3-4
x-Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Persons 5 10 1-4 3-5
x-New Jersey / A                            4 11 1-5 1-6

NFC North             W  L Div Com
Minnesota Norsemen    9  6 4-2 4-3
Bay of Green          9  6 4-2 4-3
x-Chicago Hibernaters 7  8 2-4 4-3
x-Detroit Peugeots    4 11 2-4 1-5

NFC South                W  L Div Com
**-Carolina Fatcats     10  5 5-1 3-4
x-New Orleans Boy Scouts 7  8 3-3 3-4
x-City of Tampa          7  8 2-4 5-2
x-Atlanta Typos          4 11 2-4 2-5

NFC West                W  L Div Com
**-St Louis Mouflons   12  3 4-2 7-0
Seattle Blue Men Group  9  6 4-1 4-4
x-San Fransisco 44-9ers 7  8 2-3 3-5
x-Arizona Cautions      3 12 1-5 2-5

The chances of St Louis not taking the #1 slot are slim, as they hinge on a defeat against Detroit. Similarly, the chances of Minnesota not taking the North division are slim, as they hinge on defeat to Arizona. Quite frankly, if the teams can't beat the Peugeots and Cautions, they may as well give up now. Bay of Green had the beating of the Blue Men earlier in the season.

Philadelphia could yet lose the division to Dallas, that requires the Phillies falling to the Persons, and Dallas downing Tampa. Obscure Tiebreakers are the only way Carolina won't finish #3 seed.

Slowly but surely
begin to brake, slow down, halt.
Life's better off work.

Now this is promising. Labour and the Lib Dems have been holding a government-and-opposition conference about reforms to the voting structure. The review, on the back burner for over six years, looks like it'll take place under Chaz Falconer's Department of Constitutional Tinkering. But not till after the Euro-elections.

I know we have at least one Howard Dean fan amongst the readers here. You might be interested in The Clueless Press, why the mass media hasn't cottoned on to the US presidential front runner.

What's the junta so frightened of this week? An overseas cargo plane bound for the occupied US could be hijacked. Internal passenger routes have become much harder to penetrate over the past couple of years, and are filled with those awkward passengers who aren't going to sit idly by while someone tries to take the plane.

Sometimes the fine plans
Make other things happen. Not
expected, but great.

Good luck to everyone on The Sketch Show, snapped up for US broadcast. Bad luck that's it's with the wankers at F*x.

Meanwhile, it's impressions drawn, as Alistair McGowan shoots for Dead Ringers, accusing them of ripping off his impressions. The phrase "you were all better on the radio" springs to mind, along with "just who was the star turn on the first series of DR if not Mr McGowan?"

The BBC's annual attempt at rewriting history in its own image tonight, Test The Nation 2003. I got 60/70 last year, this year's set of questions felt more difficult. The result is still towards the low end of my expectations, perhaps thanks to the lowbrow questions. Dammit, I'm turning into a BBC4 snob.

Anyway, here's the video grab. (This is a composite image, the original split the information over two text pages.)

Good to hear a fresh face on Broadcasting House today. The voice of Celebdaq can certainly handle a slightly silly radio show, and I reckon he'd do well on HIGNFY. But how come he's Paddy O'Connell when hosting the celebrity buy and sell show, and Patrick O'Connell on the top people's network? I think we should have a special board meeting to discuss this (;

Over in Italy, special board meetings are taking on a different meeting at Parmalat. On Friday, it emerged that EUR 3.95 milliard purportedly held in the Cayman Islands simply didn't exist. The auditors went to a US bank to check up on the large deposit, only to be told "Bullshit." Asked to expand, the bank replied "Utter bullshit." The document was completely made up, and the auditors had signed off fictitious accounts.

A quick search behind the sofa and the drinks cabinet didn't find the money, only some fluff, a 500 lira coin, and a discarded bottle top. Parmalat looks set to go into "controlled administration", giving the company two years to restructure and not have to pay creditors.

It's Europe's biggest accounting fraud, and brings to mind the spectre of failed US energy giant Enron. "This case has the same characteristics as the Enron case. I only hope the system reacts not with vendettas...but in the same way the Enron case was dealt with, by renewing the system of controls," EU Commission president Romano Prodi said.

One week to the Christmas Number One single and album, and the race is almost in danger of becoming lukewarm. Dido, Will Young, and Kiddiefiddler hold down the top three, with only the Black Eyed Peas passing REM in the top five. Sugababes and Darkness return to the top ten after releasing successful singles, but there's a surprise five place slump for Cliff. Sparky's at 21, so her total sales are pushing 300,000 after just four weeks. Is that album only four weeks old? Feels like an old friend already. Another Nov 24 album from Enrique Iglesias is slumping at #47, on around 125,000 sales. The success of "Hey Ya" hasn't translated into sales for Outkast - Speakerboxx/The Love Below is mired at #52, but that's still three ahead of Travis's latest release. Highest new entry comes from the Operatunity! winners, the posh people's version of Pop Idle - they had a show on C4 last week, and enter the lists at #62. Howard Shore & P Piddy's music from Return of the Bling can only make #66.

Bottom to top on the singles list, I think. We like Mew here, She Came Home For Christmas is in at #55, their third very good record to peak outside the 40 this year. Travis's The Beautiful Occupation couldn't have picked a worse release week, it makes #48, two behind Joe Strummer's Redemption Song. Both are outsold by Basil Brush (#44). Disaster for Madonna, as her current single slumps 11-33 in its second week, sales of barely 30,000 there. Much hyped crap from Billy Mack and the Fast Food Rockers (Christmas Is All Around and I Love Christmas, respectively) get drummed out at 26 and 25. Gaga and Clitring slump out of the 20 from within last week's 10, showing they have no casual fans anymore. Outkast picks back up 22-16, Ultrabeat has Feeling Fine at #12. Bore-band Blue enlisted Stevie Wonder but can only make #11, behind the Sugababes' Too Lost In You. Atomic Kitten has their smallest hit in three years, Ladies Night has lost its apostrophe and can only make #8. The Pop Idle Top Ten were expected to take this week's best-seller title, but can only make #5 with Happy Xmas - Lennon's version was #33 last week. Bo Selector's is the Worst Record Of The Week at #4, Ozzy drops to 3, The Darkness bows at #2 with Christmas Time, but Michael Andrews and Gary Jules' version of Roland Orzabel and a Kangaroo's Mad World is this week's best seller.

On the chart of the year, Will Young is up to #5, and now has the equally queer Tatu in his sights. Ozzy and Kelly make #71 on last week's sales - this week, they shoot up to #15, with Andrews and the Darkness at #17 and #18. That suggests 180,000 sales for the top two, with Ozzy shifting perhaps 120,000. Big figures, at least for this year. Big advance for the Black Eyed Peas' Shut Up (40-26), smaller for Shane Richie (18-16) and Busted (50-48). Bo Selector bows at #63, suggesting 90,000 sales.

The provisional Top 5 New British Singles of the year, then: 1) Will Young Leave Right Now; 2) Dido White Flag; 3) David Sneddon Stop Living The Lie; 4) The Darkness Christmas Time; 5) Rachel Stevens Sweet Dreams. Ultrabeat's Pretty Green Eyes is sure to finish sixth; the Darkness may overcome Sneddon, but probably won't beat Dido.

On the radio
Patrick; on TV, Paddy.
Snobbery still lives.

older writing...