It's only taken a week (eep!) but the October search page is up. Edited highlights only, fact fiends.

The NF Times reports that an official investigation into the September 2001 bombings has subpoenaed NORAD for full disclosure of relavent documents. According to the body charged with protecting the US airspace, it didn't scramble any jets for 40 minutes after being informed of potential hijackings, compared with a target of 5 minutes. The craft then flew at around a quarter of their possible speed and missed their quarry. The investigation, drawing members from two parties represented in Congress, may also subpoena the President's Daily Briefings, but will not enquire how these came to be shown to defeated candidate Mr George Bush.

More bullshit from the Windsor bulshitters.

Penny Junor said that she thought, something we never saw in seven years of 4 WHAT IT'S WORTH. Further, she said it was quite sensible for Chaz's flunkeys to issue some kind of statement. "The allegations are so vile someone should put something in the public arena to counter that. They were made by a man who was an alcoholic depressive and was unwell at the time he made the allegations. I find them offensive and extraordinary and I think it was right that somebody put something into the public arena saying this is not true."

Yep, when in doubt, shoot the messenger, not the message. A textbook ad hominem attack, and Ms Junor should be congratulated on that.

Douglas Hurd, the former foreign secretary, said: "We have all drifted into a world of hint journalism where these sort of poisonous, half-published stories swill across the world. There have always been false stories. Not just about the royals but about prime ministers, about President Clinton, President Nixon, President Chirac. There is nothing new about that, but in the old days, of course, these stories started in a pub, they were false, they ended in a pub."

Yet he's offering no evidence that these stories are not true. There are false allegations, but there are also true ones.

When it goes tits up, I won't give up. Pull the other one.

And speaking of fame...

1. What food do you like that most people hate? Spinach. What's wrong with spinach?

2. What food do you hate that most people love? Meat.

3. What famous person whom many people may find attractive is most unappealing to you? Justine Timberlankey. Why oh why oh why oh why...

4. What famous person whom many people may find unappealing do you find attractive? Erm... Liza Tarbuck, at least you'll have heard of her.

5. What popular trend baffles you? Manufactured pop in general, and Westlife and Pop Idle in particular. The Irish crooners passed their sing-by date four years ago, and the current second run of Antan Dec's talent search just feels superfluous. We have our talent, let's celebrate her.

Central Trains has started splashing out on free drinks on its long distance services where they use trains built for commuter traffic. "We give out tea and coffee whenever we send out the wrong sort of train," said a spokey.

Vermin Trains has now gone back and retro-fitted a tea urn the size of a carriage to each of its Voyagers.

Two goodies in today's Grauniad. One - the illegal occupation. Even if the US's invasion of Iraq had been legal, its occupation is a further breach of international treaties and the US's own laws. Naomi Wolf explains why.

And two - lesbians are popular. An examination of why Rhona Cameron and Sue Perkins and Alex Parks have taken the reality television show world by storm. And nary a mention of the only faux-Russian lesbian couple to come within a Richard 'n' Judy of winning the world's biggest live entertainment show. On a related point: Griffin & Gibbs are 16/1 to be the Crimble #1 single. That's value. The bookies are also taking bets on the #1 album, but they've listed the compilation Pop Idle Too Much amongst the artist albums, and I've no idea how they'll sort that out. Robbie should be nearer 25 than 5, Dildo at 5 sounds about right, but I'd be backing Willy Young and Alex at 16 apiece; they're both going for the middle ground, and could both sell huge. Results on Dec 28.

Over on Metafilter, they're talking about Lying About Ms Lynch. As if you needed yet another reason to overthrow the junta.

Oookay, follow this if you can. Last Saturday, Person F won a court order against the Hell On Sunday, preventing that sleazepaper from publishing a rumour about a senior royal. On Monday, Person F won a further court order, preventing Het Grauniad from naming him as Michael Fawcett, former aide to Chuck Windsor. The latter ban was lifted on Thursday.

Last night, a spokesmen for Britain's Prince Charles strongly denied a rumour circulating, but one he declined to detail. Wdo know that the Hell on Sunday's source was George Smith. The court order against the HoS remains, so we're not allowed to mention how a leading Italian newspaper has reported Smith's claims to have discovered Chuckie and Fawcett in bed together. Sorry. We still await details of the claim that would bring down the entire monarchy, unless he's claiming that Chaz didn't sire Bill and Harold.

This whole situation reminds some of the abdication crisis in 1936, where a privileged few knew about Teddy's dalliance with Marge Simpson, but the media conspired to keep it from the masses. Others compare it with a Monty Python sketch, where everyone knows the secret, but no one is allowed to mention it, and the broadcasters have to have stuff that Broadcasting House would reject out of hand:

Reporter: Bearing in mind that we can't broadcast them, do you know the allegations?
Tourist: Well, I know what I've read in the papers.
R: But can you piece things together from there?
T: Well, I reckon that something's up.

By trying to conceal the allegation, the royal PR machine is barking up the wrong tree. If it's false, trying to cover up the claim will only lend it legs, and make it more credible. Coming clean, denying Mr Smith his scoop, would enable the public to make a knee-jerk decision to laugh it off.

And then there's this little beaut, taken from a You.gov opinion poll. Have we heard about the rumours? Of course we have. Stupid question. Which one(s) do you want us to talk about?

Popbatch reports on the Yellowcake documents, the fakes that purported to show Iraq was trying to get in some uranium by the back door. The documents were childish forgeries, and it now seems that the culprits were the CIA. Having been criticised by Candidate X's people for not finding enough anti-Iraq evidence, the CIA spooks planted the obvious fakes to prove that the men currently running America are utter morons.

Why do we call the Republican junta's chief spokesmoron "Candidate X"? Two reasons: 1) It's the way he writes his name, and 2) That joke was cracking on Flywheel, Shyster and Flywheel in the 1920s, and who are we to argue with the Marx brothers?

Elsewhere, claims that Iraq tried to strike a deal with the US junta in February, offering to allow troops in to have a poke round, and hand over a suspect. These offers were rebuffed.

The junta is responsible for this. [W]e flew to Portland, to Rome, and then to Amman, Jordan. ... It was like a grave. It had no light. It was three feet wide. It was six feet deep. It was seven feet high. ... I spent 10 months, and 10 days inside that grave.

Star Academy's actor-in-chief Richard "Dogsby" Park was giving out photos of himself rather than candy to trick-or-treaters last week. That'll be a trick, then.

From one untalented actor to someone who could hold a tune: RIP Bobby Hatfield, the Righteous Brother who didn't sing with Jen Warnes, but did sing Unchained Melody better than Gareth Gates. Not the most difficult of tasks.

And Alicia Moore making excuses not to date Alex Parks. Are you mad, woman?

New proposals for the school year, and these look to be goers. Two terms of seven weeks in the autumn, split by a fortnight's break. Six weeks on, one week off, six weeks on. Two weeks break in early April, then an exam term of six weeks. Two more weeks off, and the balance of the school year.

Applying that outline to this academic year, and comparing it to the schedule of the comp down the road, we get the following pattern

           Proposed                         Actual
Mo 01.09 - Fr 17.10 (7 wks)    Th 04.09 - Th 23.10 (7w1d)
Mo 03.11 - Fr 19.12 (7)        Tu 04.11 - Fr 19.12 (6w4d)
Mo 05.01 - Fr 13.02 (6)        Tu 06.01 - Fr 13.02 (5w4d)
Mo 23.02 - Fr 02.04 (6)        Mo 23.02 - Fr 02.04 (6w)
Mo 19.04 - Fr 28.05 (6)        Tu 20.04 - Fr 28.05 (5w2d)
Mo 14.06 - Fr 23.07 (6)        Mo 07.06 - Th 22.07 (6w4d)
             Total: 189 days                Total: 190 days

May 3 is a public holiday, and not counted in either system: May 4 is a teacher training day in the Actual list.

Fit the Thirteenth: We'll have to see how this pans out: more Hitch-Hikers' on the radio next year. William Franklyn is the new Voice Of The Book, a good choice.

Yes, well spotted, there have been a fair few changes round here. The most obvious: a new picture down the left side, images of things I've seen. From the top to the bottom: One Canada Square, Cabot Square fountain, Holborn at night, the South Bank skyline, a tree near EMU, a lake near there, pigeons in York, a detail from the Brandenberg Gate in Potsdam, a detail from the Chinese tea house there, the Lickey Road on a spring morning, the sky, the Atomium.

Slightly less obvious: a new set of icons, also down the left side. You'll see them all in the fullness of time. Also fairly obvious, the Links bar has moved back to the right side.

Less obvious still: the colours have changed slightly, they're more blue-purple now. And the default typeface has changed.

Comments? Thoughts? You know where it's at:

I think I need a new digital camera: my current one has managed to lose all the pictures from Saturday. But it has kept the ones from Sunday morning, when I went to Canary Wharf in search of the pictures from BBC News 24.

But first, this of the Telecom Tower. Back in the 1980s, a small yellow bird called Buzby lived at the top of this tower, and he had every Christmas ruined by Noel Bloody Edmonds. Buzby finally snapped at Christmas 86, and attacked Edmonds, wrapping a telephone cord around the bearded presenter's next. Edmonds didn't work on television for some years; Buzby retired to live in the South of France.

Just outside Canary Wharf tube station, there's this bank of clocks, each one telling the same time, and each one has a clock face with exactly one number painted on. The reverse of this shot - from just inside One Canada Square - marks 00 seconds on some News 24 countdowns.

A couple of shots of One Canada Square, the big tower that dominates the Canary Wharf complex.

Canada Square itself is a two-level shopping complex, mainly intended for those people who work in the tower block and surrounding offices. Behind it, and after the DLR station, is Cabot Square. This open air square is a popular place for people to hang out on warm summers' afternoons. It's not the best place to be on a wet, cold, November morning. Still, I do get to see a strange sculpture of people sitting on a bench, in the rain.

Also in Cabot Square is a fountain. This picture, I really like.

Looking down to Heron Quays next, where there are some very pretty, and very, very expensive houses and apartments. Just think how handy living here would be to work in the building literally next door.

The last picture is also on Heron Quays, and it's clear that someone didn't quite get their plans correct. Why else would one have an office with a large hole in it?

Some random jottings from the last few days.

Chiltern Trains: good, fast, reliable, but must join at Snow Hill to get preferred seat.

Children on trains: tend to the annoying, tend to the loud, this persists at least into their teens.

Euston Square buses: awkward, do remember to use the subway to cross from one side to the other, then wonder why one didn't get the tube to do this leg.

Shopping for tat: go to Oxford Street at the Tottenham Court Road end. There's very little tourist tat elsewhere in the city. This pleases me no end.

There was a very good reason why I made a mental note not to return to My Old Dutch: the service is slow.

There are still punks with spikey hair around, if you know where to look.

People queue for G.A.Y. at 6pm. And probably a lot before.

It's possible for a conversation to diverge from computers to the rights and wrongs of copyright law without effort. Trying to convince a lit agent that copyright should expire with the author or after 50 years (whichever is longer) is more difficult.

Drink white wine and plenty of water to avoid hangovers.

Mornington Crescent players please note: The August 03 tube map includes the fare zones, and a DLR extension running from Canning Town to West Silvertown, Pontoon Dock, London City Airport, and King George V. The "Custom House" station is now "Custom House for ExCeL", with the obvious implications for redoubling. Distances from Euston Square, Tower Hill, Embankment, West Hampstead, Clapham North, Elephant & Castle to their nearby stations are given, this information pertains to some variants, particularly Schlotsky's. No distance from Southwark to Waterloo East is given. Expect a re-issue to reflect the changes on the Northern Line soon.

Paddington has a small supermarket. Marylebone has a specific food store. Once again, the 'bone wins.

Beaconsfield. Why?

Evanescance: one member down, very loud, very popular amongst hot goth chicks. Irritatingly in-yer-face religious over the whole gig.

Yes, the festive decorations are up in the city, the countdowns are on, but no lights have joined them.

Nowhere stocks packs of explicitly pagan cards, not even the new age stores. There are cards that don't use the C word or imagery.

School parties on local commuter trains: just shut up you wretched anklebiters.

Goodness, is that an album review? So it is. Byzantium, the other Deep Blue Something album.

This just makes me happy. From the ITC's fortnightly report on how British television can't follow the simplest rules.

During "National Sandwich Month" in August 2003, Fox News transmitted a four-minute segment about the many uses of tomatoes. One viewer complained that the item was nothing more than an extended ‘plug’ for Burpee, and amounted to undue prominence for commercial products.

The item in question was entirely about the Burpee company and its products, and centred on an interview with the owner of the company. The name Burpee was mentioned verbally 16 times during the segment. In addition, Burpee products were displayed prominently on a table, with a number of identity cards printed with the Burpee name.
The item itself mentioned the history of the Burpee company, and concluded with a’taste-test’ of Burpee sauces. The website of the "Burpee" company was displayed on a caption, uninterrupted, for two and a half minutes.
Fox News maintained the inclusion of the products was editorially justified in an item "about the general topic of tomatoes, and not about Burpee's products in particular".

CONCLUSION The ITC concluded that the extent of publicity involved was in breach of the Programme Code (Section 8.4) on undue prominence.

Fox News. Not fair or balanced - and that's official.