Why has Robin Gibb, formerly of the Bee Gees, agreed to return to the public spotlight on STAR ACADEMY? Could it be because he can use the show to flog loads and loads of copies of his band's greatest hits package (GBP 13.99 from all good music retailers, and Woolies) Could it be because the contestants will be press-ganged into releasing an album of Bee Gees covers? How much are songwriting royalties worth for this little exploit?

Expect some strange results tonight: the first series of POP IDLE covered Abba one week, much to the chagrain of Pete Waterman, who pointed out that Abba songs have a magic of their own, and doing them on a cheap karaoke competition won't show anyone in the best light. Evidently the Star Academy producers thought a critical slamming was worth taking. Curious.

Something picked up on the digital spy fora - how Simone and Louise were talking about how their initial audition was by invitation, not by queueing for hours in the rain. Given that both have Form (previous contacts within the megacorps), as do Carolynne, Alistair, James and Paris, are we down to the final three genuine contestants, as opposed to Megacorp Placemen, already? And isn't it very curious that all the popular buzz surrounds the three remaining Genuine Contestants: Alex, Peter, and Barry?

Enough delay, on with the show. First up is Paris, doing You Should Be Dancing, and it's a good 'un. Well sung, well danced, and brought bang up to date. Dogsby is already trying to sway the crowd on his side, in giving useful praise.

Carolynne performs Guilty. It's technically well sung, but it's dull, dull, dull, dull, dull. And it goes on ... and on ... and on. This is the problem with performing Bee Gees songs - many of them were as tedious as hell. Dogsby reckoned she did very well, but then Dogsby is always wrong. Robin liked the vocals, Carrie "Betcha that isn't her real hair colour" Grant that she's moved away from power ballads, David found it average. Go David!

Barry is doing How Deep Is Your Love, bringing to mind images of Take That in bondage. Actually, S&M is the best way to describe this one - shallow and monotonous. And probably out of tune. Robin heard karaoke. Dogsby heard shouting (he's always wrong) and nerves. This was a crap choice for Barry, and be under no illusions - these people are given their tunes.

Simone has been run to the wire for the past three shows. She's very, very lucky to still be here. Tonight: Heartbreaker. Can't help but feel she's doing a Gemma Abbey on us here, it sounds out of key, perhaps a semitone sharp. Finally comes good in the chorus, but ow! The pain! Robin finds it a bit cabaret, David heard a woman singing for her life, Dogsby heard something out of tune: who fed him that line, coz Dogsby is always wrong.

Alistair wants to sing his own songs. He thought he was auditioning for Singer Songwriters' Academy, not Karaoke Idle. Tonight: To Love Somebody. Great vocal. Great vocal. Betcha spots that Ali has one dance move, Dogsby finds the whole thing dull, but it's getting better. Slowly. Didn't catch Robin's response.

Louise is the only SA entrant to secure a Celebdaq divi this week. She's doing Too Much Heaven. Lower than the original. Still a bit squeaky. It's another Poor Song, and she does a creditable karaoke performance. Betcha found it too polite, not enough emotion. Dogsby thought "she did great," but (at the risk of repeating myself) Dogsby is always wrong. Robin was reasonably happy.

The moment you've been waiting for, Peter, the madcap entertainer. He might not sing, but he entertains, and that's why he needs to do the clowning about bit at Eurosong. Massachussets might be a step too far. It's another spellbinding performance, one that clearly knows about the tune, so that he knows when to discard it. Shame the song drags on so long, but he's entertaining. Dogsby found it a massacre, but magnificent - not the song, but bloody good. Robin fully agrees. David reckons Peter's sung the song like he wrote it.

Don't stop the tape, it's Alex next, star of this week's Kerrang awards, and performing Words. The big hit there was for Boyzone, whose lead singer Ronan Bleating was last seen singing karaoke at a wedding. This is a better version. Let's hear it. Sappy bit, as near as acapella to make no difference at the beginning, then bring in some guitars and turn it into a rocky number. Wow. David reckons Alex has improved immesurably. Robin bandies around "superb" and "can't find anything to fault." Dogsby reckons it's not one of her best, bit of a nervous start True enough, but Dogsby's not acknowledging that it's still head and shoulders above anything from the Swanning In Six.

And finally, let there be James, performing More Than A Woman. After the last two performances, he's on a hiding to nothing. Competent, but much of a muchness. Dogsby uses the "barman, last orders" joke for the fourth straight show, and is rightly slapped down by David. Dogsby says that no one will buy the record, showing exactly where his loyalties lie. Robin doesn't get to finish his point.

But wait, there's more! Paris, Louise, Alex, and Alistair get to sing Ewan Again on stage with Robin Gibb. Louise completely fluffs her solo, Alex is a star again, the gents are very good.

Robin Gibb needs your royalties. The students need your vote. James, Simone, and Louise are my tips for the drop.

California governor Gray Davis is facing a ballot to remove him from office less than a year after he was elected. Earlier in the week, he made this statement:

This recall is bigger than California. What's happening here is part of an ongoing national effort to steal elections Republicans cannot win.

It started with the impeachment of President Clinton, when the Republicans could not beat him in 1996. It continued in Florida, where they stopped the vote count, depriving thousands of Americans of the right to vote.

This year, they're trying to steal additional congressional seats in Colorado and Texas, overturning legal redistricting plans. Here in California, the Republicans lost the governor's race last November. Now they're trying to use this recall to seize control of California just before the next presidential election.

Taking this point by point: Clinton's impeachment was a clear attempt to undermine his democratic legitimacy, and followed a whispering campaign since he first entered the race.

The point in Florida isn't so much that the Republicans stopped the vote count, but that they deliberately stripped the vote from many black voters who had committed no crime other than to share their name or birth date with a criminal. With those votes, there was never any doubt about who won Florida, and this is the reason why I will never accept that Mr Gore lost the 2000 election.

Partisan redistricting in Texas and Colorado is technically democratic, but only in the sense that it's being done according to the rules. It's an attempt to entrench an existing position for much longer, and that's very bad government.

Finally, the California recall, which is also being done according to the rules, but is an offence against democracy as the winner will have far fewer votes than Mr Davies secured last year.

Which brings me to the question from a day or two ago. I asked what links Denise van Outen (right), Anna Richardson, and Melanie Sykes. All three have said that they were groped by California governor candidate Arnold Schwarzenegger when he visited the UK in late 2000. Ms Richardson's incident took place after filming stopped, there is no footage of her breasts receiving unwelcome attention from Herr Schwarzenegger. Ms Sykes' incident was caught on camera, but Carlton has not been able to release the footage - if anyone's ever wondered why big movie stars keep such close control of their promo interviews, this is your explanation. As Miss van Outen's assault took place live on national television, there's no hope of keeping it out of the public domain.

Thanks to Tom Tomorrow for pursuing the assaults by Herr Schwarzenegger.

Hmm. I hear that the contestants on Pop Idle US 2 are going to release an album of Christmas songs. Like that Bob Geldof classic, "Do you know who we are any more?"

Who leaves? You deride. Didn't Peter and Alex look totally the part at the K awards (Coverage: 0045 C4 / S4C on Saturday night / Sunday morning next week.)

The top six in the Grate British Public vote are safe. They are, in no order: Alistair, Barry, Alex, James, Peter, Louise. No, didn't see that coming at all.

The "teachers" now vote for the one they want to save. In the event of a tie, Dogsby's vote counts double, for two reasons: a) he's always wrong, and b) he's the voice of Universal records, the sponsoring company. They all vote to keep Paris in.

Carolynne and Simone face the student vote, it's the fourth time in a row Simone has been here. They've kept in Simone three times in order to have a weak sacrificial lamb at some point, and this is the time when she's got to go. Carolynne, an outside bet to be a bona fide star, wins the vote 6-1.

This from Pravda, referring to everyone's favourite Alex Parks lookalike (but not soundalike).

Julia Volkova, one of Tatu singers was taken to the Moscow Central Clinical Hospital immediately after her arrival from Turkey. She suddenly felt so bad in a car that she couldn't dial the number of her parents and inform them of her indisposition. Half an hour after she was taken to the hospital Julia was operated on. Now the girl is OK, but an important concert of Tatu scheduled for August 23 was cancelled.

Now Julia Volkova looks slightly weary - she must be tired of hospital wards. According to the Zhizn newspaper, a 5 centimeter scar on Julia's right side is carefully plastered. At first the girl worried that the scar after the appendicitis operation would be visibly obvious and she would be embarrassed on the stage or on the beach.

Julia says: "Later doctors told me the operation was a success and we came to the hospital at the right moment. Problems might have arisen if we arrived later. Each day that I stayed in the hospital guys from my group came to see me. Lena (the Tatu second singer) brought me flowers, fruits and juice. I was looking for the day to leave the hospital."

Doctors recommend Julia to observe the regime: no concerts or any abrupt movements for at least a month. Julia herself understands the seriousness of the situation. Now she has time to read books and watch TV.

"Unfortunately, the group won't be able to go for a concert to Monte Carlo, although all of the guys were looking forward for this tour. But we'll all the same go there as all the tickets have been sold out. We also plan to go to Latin America where our songs are on the rise in charts."

David Broucher, of the UN in Geneva, heard that if Iraq was invaded, Dr Kelly "would probably be found dead in the woods." Was this a throwaway remark, concern from someone who feared for his contacts in Iraq, or fear from someone who was targetted by shadowy forces? Though the UK media refers to Dr Kelly's "apparent suicide," no one has looked into the possibility of foul play. There won't be a normal coroner's inquest, so normal people won't have their normal say in the facts of the case.

Nicholas Rufford of the Sunset Times, told how Dr Kelly had deemed Andrew Gilligan's report "bullshit." Our own bullshit detector quivered at this news, as Mr Rufford is employed by a Murdoch Shill organisation, one that campaigns vigorously for the removal of the BBC.

Denise Van Outen. Anna Richardson. Melanie Sykes. What links these names? Answer in two days.

Star Academy 2, primetime show 4. And now we are ten. On Monday, most of the Star Academicians played a game of Scruples, explaining what they would do in certain hypothetical circumstances. I'll break off from the description when the talking was covered with laughter.

James contributed to the session, but I can't recall anything he said. Tonight, he's looking like Darren Day, and performing Have a Nice Day, the Stereophonics hit. Bloke, guitar, good voice, so that's one up on the original already. The Grants are impressed, Dogsby says it ain't as good as the original, he's a pub singer. James says he's not listening to Dogsby. Good idea. Dogsby is always wrong.

"Your first album is a smash." For Simone, the first album has already been a flop. It's Gabrielle's Out of Reach. Enough's enough, a misguided high note she didn't reach and wasn't even in the original, at pretty pants. Dogsby is heckled and reckons she's missed the note. David found it good, Robin thinks she'll find it tough, and Betcha's not impressed. Two words. Game over.

"Before the release of your second album." Barry? Second album? With A Little Help From My Friends sung a la Joe Cocker. A vocal performance from heaven, a little boy lost in the spotlight. The Grants agree, Dogsby growls and admits he's done it, very begrudgingly. Robin is less pleased with the song. David says there's nothing new there.

From someone who hasn't brought anything new to someone who always brings something new. "You are advised to pull a publicity stunt." Hmm. Alex and Tou (or is it Tat) compare hair styles. Tonight, Coldplay's Yellow and a tiny fraction of the fan mail. Assuming (assuming!) she gets through tonight, she's off to the Kerrang awards tomorrow. She's off to the Kerrang awards tomorrow, just from the bouncing around the stage at the start. Dogsby is effusive in his praise, Betcha calles it the Alex of Alexness, Robin says it's the best she's done, David says it's amazing.

In the BBC3 room, Louis Walsh, the man who has murdered more songs than anyone else, is a gibbering fool over Alex. We all are.

"Puh, purr, puhrh, what does that say?" For Paris, the phonics manual does not cover this kind of situation. He's doing Lenny Kravitz's It Ain't Over (Till It's Over). He nails the falsetto, but can't handle the lower register notes. An interesting choice. David says he's stamped his identity on the track, and he's right. Betcha reckons Paris is learning lots. Dogsby found it the most boring, too much falsetto. It's bad, but Simone's was worse. Carrie picks up that there's a world of difference between playing records (which Dogsby is very good at) and spotting talent (er...) Then Dogsby launches into a vitriolic attack on host Patrick Kielty, calling him "sycophantic" and "insincere." As opposed to the obvious placeman of the record company. Who would that be, Dogsby?

Alistair was notable by his absence from the Scruples session. He's attempting Seal's Kiss From A Rose. Not a convincing start, but recovers quickly enough for it to be a footnote. Perhaps a little lacking in raw soul, but adequate. Betcha reckons it was flat and out of time. Robin reckons a bad choice, David found a curate's egg, Dogsby reckons there's no improvement, and even the heckling is half-hearted.

"A bootleg pairs your song to the tune of Una Paloma Blanca." Carolynne was lucky, and went to the TWOMB RAIDER premiere last night, where she met Angelina Jolie. She's doing Pink's Just Like A Pill, with the lyric changing the nurse to a little "witch," and dropping any mention of morphine. It's very good karaoke, but doesn't have any nerve or guile. Betcha reckons this is the sort of tune she'd do well, Dogsby wonders where's the market, Robin and David see evolution.

"At a film premiere" Gary doesn't do film premieres or award ceremonies. He does do Drive, the Cars' song from the mid-80s, not the bleak REM tune. Maybe he should have done Stipey's song, coz this is all breathless and - well, dull. Dogsby reckons he and Gary had agreed he's a boy band singer, but Gary reckons he's a pop singer with a rock edge. Betcha remembers Live Aid. David remembers magic in the rehearsal room. Gary would prefer to have a strong song, which begs the question, why didn't he sing a strong song and not some mid-80s MOR guff.

"You are a pop star" in some alternate universe where Louise's inability to scoop press inches (latest Celebdaq dividend: £0.00) has kept her in Star Academy to the end. Apparently, Angelina asked after Alex. This is an endorsement. I'll Stand By You features a clear squeak. Her voice isn't up to this. Didn't work for Dogsby, tough enough for Betcha, finally singing like a woman (David), needs a little bit more (Robin).

"On Saturday morning television" Peter skulks in the shadows, he can't bear to do anything in the daylight because it ruins his makeup and demigoth image. He's also off to the K! awards tomorrow, and is performing The Strokes' Last Night while kneeling on a stool. This is fantastic. Completely unpredictable, ends up falling all over the stage. Get him on Eurovision next year. Dogsby reckons he's back to his best, everyone else is in agreement.

Winners: Alex, Peter, perhaps Paris. Losers: Simone, Alistair, Carolynne, Gary, Louise, Dogsby. Can we actually vote Dogsby out? Find out in an hour.

While we're waiting for the result, a bit of news. Sir Kevin Tebbit, an 80s name if ever there was one, is the top civil servant at the Ministry of Defence. He told the Hutton inquiry today that soon to be former prime minister Mister Tony Blair personally agreed the strategy to name David Kelly as the BBC's source. Mr Tebbit: "I was told by Sir David Omand [Mr Blair's security coordinator] that the prime minister was following this very, very closely indeed ... The implication was that [Mr Blair] did want something done about this individual coming forward." He described panic in Whitehall when the civil servants twigged that the name would become public, and eventually decided on a plan where Mr Kelly would say "This is me, this is my story."

Good news for our friends in West Virginia, as the junta hasn't pledged to catch the area's serial sniper. The junta has done everything in its power to catch Mr Osama bin Laden, Mr Mullah Omar, President Sadaam Hussein, the anthrax mailer, the people who blew up the UN in Iraq yesterday, the people who rigged the ballot in Florida in 2000, and a large trout in Lake Winnebago. So far, the junta has gone 0/7.

Safe tonight: Carolynne. James. Paris. Alex. Barry. Alistair. Peter.

On the block, no surprise: Simone, Gary, Louise. The teachers will vote to save Louise No Dividend, knowing them. Robin goes for Gary. David for Louise. Betcha for Louise. Dogsby for Louise, he's desparate for the press coverage.

Student vote could be very close. Gary knows he's done better. Simone - up here for the third time - plays to her ability, the one she's not shown in a week.

Barry and James vote for Gary, but then it's Simone all the way, mainly based on the night. Simone's pulled through again, 6-2.

6%. Six percent. Three people out of fifty. A smaller proportion of the population than regularly buys singles. That's the size of people who trust the government more than the BBC to tell the truth. 50% reckon HMG embellished its dossiers on Iraq to make the regime of President Sadaam more dangerous. [Poll: ICM / Het Graun, 1001 people, 15-17 Aug, ±3%.]

This comes on the same day as top government spin doctor Alistair Campbell addressed the Hutton inquiry. He didn't say much of consequence, the star witness never does. The real smoking gun is surely hidden somewhere else in the mass of evidence.

Back in Iraq, a huge truck bomb devastates the UN headquarters, killing more than a dozen people.