"If we are a humble nation, [other nations] will see that and respect us." - Mr George Bush Jr, 1999.

So, how much does this commentator pay attention to the ultra-popular music scene? Which million selling albums of this decade has he bought or looking for in clearances? (All albums have sold a million in the UK since 1/1/00, list in approximate release order. Based on research by dotforum poster Hanboo.)

• Eva Cassidy songbird (released 1998)
• Moby play
• Travis the invisible band (99)
• Gabrielle rise
• David Gray white ladder
• Craig David born to do it (00)
• Kylie Minogue fever
• Westlife world of our own
• Whitney Houston greatest hits
• Tom Jones reload
• Eminem marshall marthers lp
• Robbie Williams escapology
• Coldplay parachutes
• Madonna music
• U2 all that you cant leave behind
• Beatles 1
• Ronan Keating ronan
• Texas greatest hits
• Dido no angel
• Various now 47
• Westlife coast to coast (01)
• Blue all rise
• Steps gold greatest hits
• Stereophonics just enough education to perform
• Jools Holland small world big band
• Gabrielle dreams come true greatest hits
• Robbie Williams swing when your winning
• Various now 50
• Pink mizunderstood
• Norah Jones come away with me
• Travis the man who
• Enrique Iglesias escape (02)
• Shakira laundry service
• Coldplay a rush of blood to the head
• Eminem eminem show
• Red Hot Chili Peppers by the way
• Blue one love
• Avril Lavigne let go
• Westlife unbreakable greatest hits
• David Gray a new day at midnight
• Various now 53
• Robbie Williams sing when your winning
• S Club 7 7
• Justin Timberlake justified

It's not the original, but kudos to the Ataris for their remake of The Boys Of Summer. All grunged up and ready for a new generation. And far, far, far, far (repeat for ages) far better than DJ Sammy's soulless version that polluted the airwaves this spring.

Yep, got the hair cut, and the mind relaxed, and that's so valuable right now. Able to watch the documentary tracing the royals on television without cracking up at the complete ludicrousity of it - until Martin Bell's acerbic commentary of Chuck & Di (Windsor, not Ingram) in Australia. "The day started with a tree planting, and swiftly became more tedious." Hislop reckons the royals want to be celebrities. Maybe we should just stick them in an Australian jungle for two weeks, and see who comes out last. Or just chop off the last sentence after ten words.

Back to the parents' place, for the semi-annual Trip To The Dentist's. The toothwork didn't go too badly - almost certainly the very last person to say "Happy New Year" to them, and the ol' gnashers are in pretty good nick. No fillings for the 10th consecutive year, and we'll do it all again in six months.

Not sure that all the travelling quite agrees with me, especially as it's fairly hot outside, and I've got to be up at the crack of dawn to get the shopping. It's either that or wait for years in the queue at the supermarket tomorrow. That said, I'll probably be waiting for years in the queue at the barber's tomorrow...

A footnote on yesterday's constitutional reforms: turns out that there's still a Wales minister, it's just that he's moonlighting as the Transport minister. Similarly, the Scottish minister is also holding down a job as Minister for Pensions (or something similar.) Curiouser and unclearer. Looks like someone's been working on the back of a fag packet again.

Two Ministers Lost Down Back of Sofa Following today's weekly cabinet reshuffle, soon to be former prime minister Mister Tony Blair has lost two ministerial positions. From the Department of Health, out goes Alan Milburn, off to spend more time with his family, Mrs Milburn's thoughts are not yet known.

The replacement at Health is the former party chairman Dr John Reid, who has spent slightly more than three months as leader of the Commons, and most of that time not answering any of the questions put to him on Radio 4's TOADY programme.

The new leader of the Commons is a bit of a surprise. Peter Hain was previously the Welsh secretary, and we reckoned he would become the cabinet-level Minister for Europe.

The Welsh post has been abolished, as has the equivalent Scottish position, as devolution takes its toll. They're combined with the Lord Chancellor's office in a new Constitutional Affairs portfolio, taken by (Lord) Charlie Falconer, a notorious Friend of the Vicar.

The last Lord Chancellor, (Lord) Derry Irvine has retired; the previous Scottish sec, Helen Liddell, has also been retired.

A couple of constitutional amendments: the Lord Chancellor had been the presiding officer in the House of Lords, the new PO will not be a minister. And the task of picking judicial appointments will be outsourced from one of Tony's cronies to an independent judicial appointments commission of Tony's cronies.

Looking for a synopsis of the Buffy finale? Look somewhere else. Looking for thoughts on the end of all endings, that's your link.

This final score in the Hunt The Chemical, Biological And/Or Nuclear Cup:

Sites visited 230, CBNs found 0

The US Defense (sic) Intelligence (sic) Agency now goes forward to send a 1300-strong Iraq Survey Group to play Hunt The Old Woman.

Blair Farce One The committee handpicked by soon to be former prime minister Mister Tony Blair to oversee the intelligence agencies has rebuked Downing Street over its use of intelligence material in the "dodgy dossier" on Iraq. The "lies," "untruths," and "malicious falsehoods" were designed to "create a false climate of fear" and "lacked any credibility whatsoever." The committee declined to pinpoint anyone as being specifically responsible, but Downing Street sources have privately fingered one of the report's co-authors, M Khan (Litdaq: MKHAN, 1.76 +0.01) coz he's bent.

Iraq's Missing Weapons May Become Election Issue, reports today's Washington Post. Elsewhere, a self-selecting poll said that 94.7% of respondents believe Mr Bush should be impeached; the other 5.3% don't recognise him as president of anywhere. 97.3% of the respondents reckon water is wet, 99.4% can tell the difference between black and white, and 101.5% believe that self-selecting polls have no statistical validity whatsoever.

Axed already After yesterday's cancellation of his rubbish new game show format Bores And Gurns, Chris Evans has faced further disaster today, as his daily talk show Tonight With Chris Moyles Christian O'Connell Richard Bacon won't be renewed by C5. The ginger one's last remaining format is The Terry & Gabby Show, starring Wogan and Roslin. If that doesn't work, Evans says he'll become a market trader in Camden Town. Wonder if he'll employ serial quitter Rik Waller on that endeavour?

Also on the chopping block, C4's boring soap Brookside, finally chopped after 21 years. One down, 14 to go.

Hold the front page Further proof that the judiciary is completely out of touch with real people came in London today. Associated Sleazepapers, publishers of the Daily Hell and the Evening Substandard, has won an injunction against plans for a London freesheet called the Evening Hell. "Public and advertisers could boycott the paper if they were upset by strident political views in the namesake" said the judge. Justice Laddie completely fudged the issue of whether those sorry, misguided fools who mistake the extreme right-wing Hell for an actual newspaper would be interested in Richard Desmond's project.

And finally... Hans Blix is quoted on A2 from Het Grauniad as calling la regime de les Etats-Unis «les salopades.» Wheeeee!

Another New Labour promise broken. Mr Brown promised that the assessment of the "tests" for British membership of the European single currency would be published within two years of the 2001 election. That deadline expired last Saturday. The results came out today. If Labour can't get the timing right on something as simple as publishing a document, why should we trust their ability to get the timing right on the big things?

So it is with joining the euro. "We're not ready," said finance minister Gordon Brown. The only test the UK has met, apparently, is the nugatory one - would entry be good for the city of London? Of course it would. But no for "convergence" - an assessment that can have been marginal at best, fudged at worst - and no for "flexibility", a target as ill-defined as any. Mr Brown claims that failing these tests means there's no chance of meeting targets on jobs and investment.

On the slight upside, Mr Brown said he would revisit the "tests" when he delivers his annual tax-and-spend budget announcement in spring 2004. His tone was far more friendly to the concept of the single european currency than might have been expected.

Personally, I'd like a referendum in autumn 2004, with entry to follow in 2006-7. If the politics force a year's delay, to after the June 2005 election, then so be it. It would be singularly foolish for the UK not to join the euro with the bulk of the New Ten, slated to euro-up in 2006-10.

France 2 led the news today - a public holiday in much of Europe - with coverage of strikes reducing the number of trains by 60%. People were (gasp!) standing on the TGV. The trains were running (shock!) up to 10 minutes late. The minister responsible was (horror!) grilled on national television. Well, two out of these three things are everyday occurences on the Isn't Arriving network...

Coverage of Mr Brown's speech? 15 seconds, sandwiched between the referendum in Poland and the pope in Croatia.

Today's Stupid Science link. John Naughton understands naught about statistics. His basic thesis: distribution of the popularity sites on the web should follow the Gaussian (Normal) distribution. My instant rebuttal: why should it follow that model, when most rankings - record sales, newspaper circulations, the results of "name five politicians" surveys - is broadly Geometric. So it is in hyperlink territory.

Words fail me.