In the Guardian's cricket commentary some days ago, Nick Broad suggested that the London Underground system has remarkable similarities to the England cricket setup. It also has substantial similarities to the British political scene.

Bakerloo line - Tony Benn, very old, but better than the alternatives.
Central line - Gordon Brown, unable to handle anything out of the normal.
Circle line - Charles Kennedy, trying to be all things to all people.
District line - Robin Cook, a bit old, a bit tetchy, but does what it does stunningly well.
DLR - Claire Short, quietly doing a very efficient job.
East London line - Iain Duncan Cough, very useful if you're going his way, really rather pointless otherwise.
Hammersmith and City line - John Redwood, clearly a child of the 90s.
Jubilee line - Tony Blair, looks all swish and modern, but the reality is some stinky old stock.
Metropolitan line - John Major, the wise and surprisingly efficient old owl of the system.
Northern line - David Blunkett, not known as the Misery for nothing.
Piccadilly line - Jack Straw, goes from the airport to the back end of beyond, and drones on and on about it.
Victoria line - Lord Goldsmith, best buried a very long way downstairs.
Waterloo & City line - William Hague. Obviously.

Someone on LJ asks A Very Good Question Indeed. Why are war protesters sitting down in the middle of the road?

The usually reliable left-wing bibel, Het Grauniad does not contain a background piece on why blocking roads (and railways, and tramways) is the fashionable protest de nos jours.

Part of the explanation might lie in some comments from veteran British politician Tony Benn:

"Non-violent resistance to the government shows that it cannot act in the name of the protesters.

"The aim is to make the war as politically damaging as possible for those who have ordered it, and hence ensure that the same policy is not pursued in the future.

"Politicians are being held to account for what they have ordered. A mark is scratched against the use of weapons or tactics that will cause even more civilian deaths."

Another protester, in Phoenix, came up with this nugget:

"Protesters are taking suffering on themselves to bring the suffering of the Iraqis to the surface."

Hmm. Random quotes don't seem to be helping here, do they.

Clearly the protesters feel that they're bouncing a small particle of the suffering back on the streets of SF and other cities. Clearly they feel that their show of strength will alter government policy, perhaps not in this instance, but in flashpoints to come in the future.

Perhaps there's an element of disrupting the use of cars, which (by and large) run on petroleum byproducts, on the grounds that the conflict in the Persian Gulf is all about oil.

Certainly, blocking roads is a low-risk activity for the protester, with very little risk of injury. It's environmentally sound, with no litter to clean up, no windows to repair, and no spray-paint to remove. This may be the swing vote that keeps the police polite, if not supportive - apart from the act of protest, there's not much damage being done to anyone or anything.

Ultimately, I think that the fashions of the day are playing a larger part in this action than the protesters might care to admit.

An automatic two-point deduction to the BLAIR (Blair Life (After Iraq) Remaining) Index, my estimate of the chance of Mr Blair still being PM at the start of 2004. Two points away today because he is now a War Criminal, and is liable to be arrested at any time for breaching various human rights laws.

He's not likely to be lynched, unlike four people who stopped a Glasgow to London train at Carlisle today. The train was full of Celtic fans, travelling to their crunch match at Liverpool. The train resumed after the footy supporters had A Word. Polite, I hope...

Incidentally, if Celtic wins tonight, and Porto can't pass Panathanikos, Celtic brings Scotland past Portugal and up to ninth place in the UEFA country rankings. This means that the Scottish champions next season (2003-4) will go directly into the Group Phase of the 2004-5 European League, and the runners up will be exempt to the Third Qualifying Round. This greatly increases Celtic's chances of a huge payoff two years down the line.

From the CBS newswires...

^NN-cbsnews-LATE NEWSCASTS...EASTERN AND CENTRAL TIME ZONES URGENT

Stations please be advised that it is our intent to conclude our coverage as soon as possible following the President's address this evening. That means that you will be able to start your Late Newscasts on time this evening. If anything changes, I'll send out another note.

IMPORTANT NOTE: This is not the start of our continuous coverage. But, we have begun the use of the AMERICA AT WAR graphics.

Back to the US, where Clearchannel Communications Corp, the radio behemoth, has been organising protests regarding the war. Unlike all civilised countries, these have been protests in favour of illegal and immoral actions. So, a company that acts in an immoral way is supporting a junta that acts in an immoral way. No conflict of interest there. Cool.

And the excuse-in-law for the junta starting its reign of terror? Take the necessary actions against international terrorists and terrorist organizations, including those nations, organizations, or persons who planned, authorized, committed, or aided the terrorist attacks that occurred on September 11, 2001. False conflation with September Eleven. No credible evidence has been presented that Iraq has backed any terrorist organisation. Spot the War Criminal.

Blimey. Two classic Buffy episodes in a row.

And suddenly, there's light at the end of the tunnel for Blair. Last night's rebellion was "limited" to 139 Labourites, a mere 47% of the backbench non-payroll vote. This is "limited" in the same sense as a runaway lorry demolishing 47% of a house. Anyway, with this lack of a mandate, Blair is prepared to launch himself into war, become a war criminal, and retain the support of his party. All within 24 hours. Curious, non?

The last mininovel on the Nigerian scams.

(At least, the last mininovel on the entertaining financial scams. No end is in sight to the myriad human rights abuses in that country.)

From Food's Corner

Menu-Planning Criteria . There are 10 menu-planning criteria around which British Airways' Signature Style is built.

Simplicity: Simple recipes without too many ingredients.

Taste: Tastebuds only respond to four basic flavours.

Informality: Simpler, less structured meals have developed into a more varied and versatile food style.

Suitability: Every meal should be a celebration.

Visual: the natural colours of food skillfully combined in presentation give maximum visual impact.

Authentic: Genuine and honest cooking has no substitute.

Health: Today's lifestyle requires essential commitment to health and well being.

Seasonal: Celebrate each season's bounty.

Variety: Balance the menu with choices that avoid repetition in style and ingredients.

Names: Brand names offer the kudos and confirmation of quality and style.

[Hmm. No mention of the main driving criterion: Cheap: Doesn't cost us any money at all.

Here's my dream inflight meal: throw all that pseud out, and giz a cheese sarnie, a packet of crisps, a small slice of cake, and an apple.]

BLAIR compiled before going to bed, and before the result of the vote in Parliament. We lost two non-cabinet ministers and a bundle of aides, but Claire Short unexpectedly remains in Cabinet. This leaves about 145 on the payroll vote, and a backbench of about 265.

Main BLAIR loser of the day is Robin Cook's resignation statement last night. Edited highlights:

"I cannot support a war without international agreement or domestic support ... Neither the international community nor the British public are persuaded that there is an urgent and compelling reason for this action in Iraq," he said.

Mr Cook said that Iraq's military strength was less than half what it had been at the time of the last Gulf War. It was illogical to argue, therefore, that Iraq presented a threat and moreover that that threat justified war. Furthermore, Iraq probably had no weapons of mass destruction in the "commonly understood" sense of being a credible threat that could be delivered on "a city target."

He drew a comparison over the impatience shown with Iraq over its failure to comply with the will of the UN and the situation in Palestine. "It is over 30 years since resolution 242 called on Israel to withdraw from the occupied territories," he reflected.

The former foreign secretary went on to express alarm that the US administration seemed more interested in regime change that in Iraq's disarmament. "What has come to trouble me most over past weeks is the suspicion that if the hanging chads in Florida had gone the other way and Al Gore had been elected we would not now be about to commit British troops."

Do not destroy oil wells. Do not use weapons of mass disruption. In that order.

Watch for junta spokesmoron Bish to twist his mouth around and bite his lip every time he says something untrue. That's one well bitten lip. And one well-wired spokesmoron: in this morning's routine, Shrub was clearly wearing a prompter wire, carrying the words of the junta into his mouth.

But the final word has to go to Michael Portillo: "My prediction depends on what happens."

What Scott did next: "You're reading a cricket report for the purposes of amusement? That must be one hell of a loose end."

"I just use the pound symbol [rather than the Euro] and hope no one notices. Generally people think you are either so sure of what you are doing they have got it wrong and stay quiet, or they just correct it themselves."

After rain stopped play, Johnathan Pughe refers to the Singalongacliff: "Oh, how I wished that one of those pigeons had flown straight into his wholesome gob and stiffled his warbling!"

Meanwhile, Het Graun bring their over-by-over roundup to politics. Let's not be too harsh on Matt Tempest, it is the first time he's written a speech-by-speech, and it rather shows. Concentrating on the basics (who said what to whom) rather than the reader interaction. That comes with practice, and I'm sure that will happen.

An extract:

The Speaker has to reprimand some of Mr Duncan Smith's troops for not allowing Mr Kennedy to be heard. The Speaker singles out Mr Fabricant for criticism - "keep your hair on" heckles a Labour MP at the blonde Mr Fabricant.

Mr Kennedy notes that most of the British public have more confidence in the secretary general of the UN, Kofi Annan, than the president of the United States, George Bush.

Other early highlights show that Matt is getting into the swing of things well.

Unfortunately, a poor and nervous speaker, [Alan Howarth] refers to the "Ninth of September"

Bruce George, the Labour chairman of the Common's defence select committee, gives a rather rambling and confusing speech.

Matt hasn't included a link to send him emails, and given that this is his first time, that's probably a good thing. Concentrate on the basics, and the fun and frolics will follow later.

March 17 is a big day here at Chateau Weaver. Two of my best friends mark their birthday today.

Jae is another year older, another year wiser, and I wish her all good things and a fantastic year to come. See you in three weeks.

Cara is also another year older, somehow even wiser than she was when we first crossed paths those years ago. I know she will kick a whole load of ass at her new job in May, and continued good fortune and smart heads get wished from here. See you at the start of May.

Photo of the week is of the World Championship City flags, flying at the roundabout by my house, on the southern approaches to the city. Last weekend, Brum hosted the Indoor World Athletics Championship. Without any problems, without any external funding, and without so much as a millisecond debate in parliament. Manchester can do it, Birmingham can do it, so what's London's excuse..? (Please keep your response to less than 10MB.)

Resignation of Robin Cook. He was foreign secretary between 1997 and 2001, and briefly championed an "ethical" foreign policy without actually making any significant changes to foreign policy. Claire Short sticks around for at least one more night; she's been internatonal development minister since 97, and appears to be swayed by sweet talk that she's going to make a difference in the reconstruction of Iraq.

Chances of a new UN resolution: zero.

Articles following up the forgery of a piece of evidence, dismissed by Blix last time out, linking Iraq to a nuclear weapons programme, including the possibility that a foreign government is using a deception campaign to foster support for military action against Iraq: zero.

Number of mentions by Bruiser Prescott that Russia, not France, was first to threaten the veto: zero.

Number of times the US has used its veto on the Arab-Israel issue: 36.

Number of years since France last vetoed a US-sponsored resolution: 47.

Number of press and television interviews by Lord Goldsmith, the government-sponsored lawyer who is the only one we know that thinks war is legal: zero.

Goldsmith cites UNSC resolution 678 (Nov 90, authorising force to compel Iraq from Kuwait), 687 (Mar 91, ceasefire following Gulf War II), and 1441 (Nov 02.) Goldsmith claims that a breach of 687 brings 678 back to life, thus allowing the US to expel Iraq from Kuwait. Well, that's a decently trivial task. So trivial, I could do it myself in about five minutes. After that, let's prove Goldsmith's sophistry is a complete load of bullshit. Gee, that was even easier. Anyone want to use this Babelfish? Mr Dalyell?.

"Hi Jon, it's CNN here."
"Are we at war yet?" he barks.
"No, not yet Jon," she replies, unsure if he's joking.
"Well, let me know when we are, OK?"
"OK, sure," she falters.

Jon Stewart of CNN's weekly show THE DAILY SHOW WEEKLY GLOBAL EDITION, quoted in Het Graun. The Daily Show airs weekly at 0030 CET Sunday and Monday mornings. Or Saturday and Sunday night. Don't forget to miss it.

From the flies of this is true. A supermarket clerk in Hickory, North Carolina, was suspicious when two men tried to cash a payroll cheque from "Boryhill Furmiture", rather than the chain's correctly spelled name, Broyhill Furniture. They ran when she called the police. Investigators think they printed the cheque themselves, copying names out of the phonebook. "There's a good possibility that if the name on the cheque had been spelled correctly, they would have gotten away with it," a pesky police spokesman said. The duo has not been captured, but police arrested two women who were with them, and recovered 42 counterfeit cheques from various businesses, reports the Hickory Daily Record. Word on the street is the victimized companies included such notable names as Saefwae, WallMark, Al's State Inshurence and computer giant IMB.

The Bit Of A Wasted Party Party welcomes ... The People's Alliance. Or The Peoples' Alliance, in those areas of the website that haven't been visited by the grammar police. What have they got to offer us..? Find out in a special article