Mr Blair likens the regime of President Sadaam to that of Herr Hitler, saying that he does not wish to make the same mistakes as his predecessor, Mr Neville Chamberlain.

By invoking the Nazi party, Godwin's Law comes into effect, and we can deduce that Mr Blair has lost the argument. This is an irretrievable situation, notthing that he can now do will reverse the decision. Mr Blair has lost, and he may as well resign now.

As if that wasn't enough, this week's NEWSWEEK magazine leads on the rather startling revelation that the US knew in 1995 that Iraq has no CBN weapons. (Full account, PDF) Iraqi general Hussein Kamel spoke to the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) and UNSCOM, at that time the UN inspectors in Iraq.

Hussein said that after the [1991] Gulf War, Iraq destroyed all its chemical and biological weapons stocks and the missiles to deliver them. All that remained were hidden blueprints, computer disks, microfiches, and production moulds.

Hussein was a son-in-law of President Saddam, and UNSCOM's wrap report said his August 1995 departure from Iraq carrying crates of secret documents on Iraq's past weapons programs was the major development during UNSCOM's years.

Hussein has been cited by Junta apologists including Mr George Bush, Mr Coelin Powell, and Mr Dick Chainsaw. None of these warmongers have intimated Hussein's bombshell evidence, even though he told the same story to the CIA. All the Junta spokesmodels have access to Hussein's statements, and citing selective parts of his testimony tends to suggest that someone's keeping something back.

Need more evidence? Hear from UNSCOM chief Scott Ritter, speaking to US National Public Radio last year.

So, Blair's reasons for joining the Letsavvawar Party (leader: G Bush, D-Runk, Connecticut) are set out for all to see. And snigger at.

"We don't like the spectre of madmen having weapons of mass destruction at the end of their fingertips," said the Scottish-educated liar. Lawyer. Sorry, what a ludicrous mistake.

"We are prepared to go the extra step to achieve disarmament peacefully," he said, conveniently forgetting that the efforts of a twenty year campaign won't be undone in twelve weeks.

Yes, he's a tyrant. Yes, he brutally represses his own people. Yes, he manipulates the law to stop dissent at home and muzzle critics abroad. But how does that distinguish him from Mr Sadaam?

The question going begging: what if, as seems increasingly likely, there is no UN backing for war? Will Bonty Liar stay within the rules of the international community? Or will he follow the wild-eyed ramblings of a drunk moron, stick 1.77 fingers up to the rest of the world, and go in with - literally - all guns blazing.

When I was very young, my television was Play School, Sesame Street, On The Move, Huckleberry Hound, Yogi Bear, and Jeux Sans Frontieres. The last of those was a Europe-wide game show for adults, where people dressed up in huge costumes and ran over an obstacle course. Bagpuss, Bod. Chigley, Trumpton, Camberwick Green.

When I was not so young, 'twas Jigsaw and Puzzle Trail, two zany, intelligent shows by uberproducer Clive Doig. Battle of the Planets. Wacky Races. Dangermouse, still a huge fave. The Adventure Game, clearly improved with age and ripe for a recommissioning. Ask The Family, probably best left on the shelf. Willo The Wisp. Grange Hill, longlasting school serial. Blue Peter, evergreen social activist programme. Eureka, the history of inventions and the invention of history. Johnny Ball, the thinking child's Chris Tarrant.

When I was in those teenage years, Countdown and Fifteen To One to expand my mind. Going For Gold to watch Europe expanding before my eyes. Channel 4 News for both these reasons, and more. Thundercats, and a brief dabble into anime when it was fashion of the week. 2.4 Children, Grange Hill, The Mary Whitehouse Experience, Four Square, Gladiators, Treasure Hunt, The Crystal Maze. Top of the Pops, Going Live, Live and Kicking.

More recently, a lot of US stuff. Semi-realistic stuff: My So-Called Life, Murder One, Party of Five. Comedies: Friends, Seinfeld, Daria. Comic book stuff: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Alias, 24. And televised obscure sport, especially biathlon, three day eventing, and pro cycling. Didn't get MTV until 2000, by which time it was well off its peak. Did get Play UK, a funky mix of music and comedy, until it closed last year.

Over the years, I've noticed that no visual working of a book is ever going to be exactly the same as any reader's imagination. The casting of Gian Sammarco as Adrian Mole in 1985 was inspired; the casting of (in turn) Pauline Walters and Lulu as his mother was decidedly not.

I read Masefield's "The Box Of Delights" after the BBC's serialisation in 1984. The book had both a depth and a tedium that the television version glossed over.

Around the same time, the BBC worked on two thirds of John Christopher's "Tripods" trilogy. That suffered from the rampant disease at the corp, Spendophobia. It also concentrated too much on the visual drama, sending the emotions from the heart of the book to the margins of the screen. "Tripods" is a trilogy about maturity, not man versus machine. The television completely missed that.

Nowadays, I tend not to bother watching screen versions of books I know and love, purely because they're always based on someone else's vision, not mine.

BBC science series Horizon repeats its classic episode about the Milgram experiments. A lot of people will follow orders if the price of resistance is large enough, or if they're just told to. It's chilling viewing. Have we fundamentally changed in the forty years since those experiments took place? I don't think so. Have we learned enough to be on our collective guard? Perhaps. Perhaps not.

Anyway, this week's Buffy popup is all ready for your pleasure. It's one of those weeks when even the title is a spoiler.

Iraq says it will destroy some missiles. The UN reckons these rockets can exceed the 150km defensive radius; while disagreeing with that assessment, Mr Sadaam's regime will knock 'em on the head. Turkey postpones a debate on the propriety of allowing US troops into its borders, and the Oil Junta is already treating the battle as a done deal. It's not, and this must surely count against Mr Blair, causing the Blair LIAR Index to fall one notch.

A plan for spam. Any article that can discuss reverse Markov chains is a winner in my book.

Nuts and Bolts, a writing guide for everyone. Improve your writing in twenty minutes!

That Top Ten* Britpop In Full, By UK Release Date

(OK, so it's a Top Twelve. The NME's first top 10 was also a top 12. Deal.)

"The Stone Roses", March 1989

The story begins here. Four lads who set the world afire, with their jingly-jangly pop with a raw, dark underside. The initial response - the Madchester Raveon of 1990 - was a bit of a red herring. This seminal album did set the tone for the Big Britpop Bash of the Britpop era...

"Suede", March 1993

It wasn't four years before Britain produced another good album. It was four years before a band came along with the same youthful vigour as the Roses. Suede added a twisted sexuality, and their debut cut has a freshness and naivety that would have to be missing from their later work.

"Modern Life Is Rubbish", May 1993

The Britpop bandwagon begins here. Twelve slices of life in England. This is how it was to be around just before the turn of the century. By turns depressing, ludicrous, invigorating, and absolutely nothing to do but get drunk. Blur's followup, "Parklife", was MLIR II, and "The Great Escape" stretched the idea to tedium.

"Music For The Jilted Generation", July 1994
"Dummy", October 1994

It wasn't all loud boys with guitars, mind. The Britpop scene had been influenced as much by dance beats as anything, and Bristol bands Portishead, Massive Attack, Tricky, and others combined all these elements in a hypnotic, trippy, hip-hop beat. Over in Essex, the Prodigy took a rave beat, added guitars, and let fly on two of the most bizarre and rewarding albums yet.

"I Should Coco", July 1995

Ah, the long, hot, So-Called Summer of 1995. Effortlessly soundtracked by Supergrass's latest album, and its breezy lead single "Alright." Life doesn't get any more cheerily optimistic than this.

"A Different Class", October 1995

Cheerily optimistic is never a good description of Pulp. Their umpteenth studio set spawned the Michael-Jackson defeating single "Common People," and enabled Jarvis and his chums to reach the commercial success that had eluded them through a decade of playing on Peel.

These landmark albums tend to appear on every critical list of nineties Britpop. My remaining choices are personal favourites, and are all taken from the dying twilight of Britpop, those heady 24 weeks between the beginning of the end of the Major government and the way Old Britain reared its ugly head following the death of a playgirl.

"The Golden Mile", May 1997

Like Pulp, Jake Shillingford's band My Life Story tell succinct pop tales, but while Pulp are icy cold, MLS has a warmth and good humour that made sure they would be commercial failures.

"At the Club", May 1997

Ah, Kenickie. Days of glitter and body paint, nights drinking alcopops and living in the way that only a wild-eyed seventeen year old on the threshold of media stardom and her own television show - if not a Celebdaq listing - can do. This is how it was to be young and wild in the era. Just six years on, it's an utterly foreign land, and I'm channeling the spirit of Brem, so let's move on.

"Further", June 1997

Stablemates of Suede, Geneva were just too good for 1997. If they'd been pushed out a year sooner, they might well have been international megastars. If they'd been pushed out a year sooner, they certainly wouldn't have produced the quality, intelligent, thumpingly good album that they did.

"OK Computer", June 1997

The Sgt Pepper of the Britpop era. No one would ever make a record like this ever again. No one, that is, apart from Radiohead, whose "Kid A" album still defies comprehension to this day.

"The Masterplan", October 1998

Finally, all of the great Oasis classics of the Britpop era on one disk. They haven't yet done a greatest hits album, but this compilation of outstanding B-sides from their first three albums shows how many good songs the brothers Gallagher had. And shows how rubbish their next album was.

New today: the Blair Life (Iraq, After) Remaining index. It's my estimate of how likely it is that Mr Blair will remain in office until Jan 1, 2004. Today's Blair LIAR shows a sharp dip, after a majority of Labour backbenchers votes against him in the Commons. 122 risked incurring the wrath of the whips and expressed their dissent against Blair's policy of backing the republican Junta in spite of evidence. Analysts suggest that should Blair push ahead without a further UN resolution, the Blair LIAR will collapse towards zero at a rate of knots.

Slow and partial moves towards decommissioning weapons are deemed unacceptable in Iraq. In Northern Ireland, the same grudging approach has been sufficient to keep Sinn Fein at the negotiating table.

Mr Blair spells out how to avoid war. "Listen to me. It's very simple. First Saddam must compile 200% with the UN inspectorers, and I mean activated compilation, not passivist compilation. Second, he must disarm fully, in keeping with UN revelation 1441 and the next one coming, 1441B, which will require him to disarm even more fully that. Then he must destroy all Samoud missiles and any other weapons of mass destruction he is found, or not found, to be possessive of, without being asked. Finally, there is one more task he must perform, which I am not at liberty to revulge. And even that will not be enough." It appears Mr Blair's speech was ghost-written by a Mr Bush, of Junta Breweries, Connecticut.

The guy in dreadlocks and string vest, walking down the street at eight in the morning dripping with sex.

Finally watching THE RACE's Grand Finale. Which involves haring across London on a trek to pick up some luggage from Victoria station's locker rooms. That brings back memories...

Trying to spell something out to someone on the phone today. He needed a little education. That's E-D-U-C-A-T-I-O-N.

A couple in het Graun today. Did Kaycee Nicole not die in vain? And Ruthlessly guarding their borders and repelling boarders: a comparison between parishes in 1800 and nation states in 2000.

01. Fallen for your best friend? Yah
02. Made out with JUST a friend? Yes, and we managed to stay just friends afterwards.
03. Been rejected? A fair few times
04. Been in love? Check
05. Been in lust? Check
06. Used someone? Check
07. Been used? Check
08. Cheated on someone? Most usually myself
09. Been cheated on? More than a little
10. Been kissed? Oh, most likely.
11. Done something you regret? There's an upper limit to these posts, isn't there.

Who was the last person...
12. You touched? Jen or Rob on Saturday night
13. You talked to? Lady at the convenience store
14. You hugged? Physically, Jen; mentally, Jae
15. You instant messaged? chelle
16. You kissed? I'll take the fifth.
17. You had sex with? Wouldn't ever say that in public.
18. You yelled at? A crap driver
19. You laughed with? On The Hour
20. You had a crush on? Richard, whom none of my regular readers know.
21. Who broke your heart? Most likely the usual suspect.

Do you...
22. Colour your hair? Not now
23. Have tattoos? Not yet
24. Piercings? Not yet
25. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both? Na.
26. Floss daily? Perhaps twice a week.
27. Own a webcam? Nope.
28. Ever get off the damn computer? More than you might think.
29. Sprechen sie deutsche? ja, ein bischen
30. Habla espanol? ?Que?

Have you/do you/do you have...
40. Considered a life of crime? Nope
41. Considered being a rent boy? With my body?
42. Considered being a pimp? Nope
43. Are you psycho? Not any more
44. Split personalities? I worry that I am, but there's no evidence for it. I also worry that I'm turning into Dr Fox, but there's no scientific evidence for *that*, either.
45. Schizophrenic? No.
46. Obsessive? A tad.
47. Obsessive compulsive? Probably not.
48. Panic? From time to time.
49. Anxiety? A lot.
50. Depressed? Especially in early February and early August.
51. Suicidal? Not now.
52. Obsessed with hate? More avoiding it.
53. Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore? Er, no.
54. Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them? Only where "Gore" has a capital letter.
55. If you could be anywhere, where would you be? In the White House.
56. What would you be doing? Making the US part of the free world again.
58. What are you listening to? The last Mull Historical Society album.
59. Can you do anything freakish with your body? Living in it is freaky enough.
60. Chicken or fish? So long as it's happy.
61. Do you have a favourite animal? Birds.

He lied about his past business dealings.
He lied about serving in the national guard.
He lied about being for better public schools.
He lied about the budget deficit.
He lied about inheriting a recession.
He lied about a report that claimed Iraq would have nuclear capabilities within 6 months.
He lied about not knowing Jeffy Archer.

The young ladies riding their bikes down the hill, tentatively lifting their hands off the handlebars.

When in doubt, get inspired. And don't say that one has to live with the same wallpaper all the time. Put up different wallpaper now and again.