Weaver Archive

Sunday December 15

One for all you old rockers... the chart as it stood on this date in 1988. Including the favourite tunes of Paul "Dr Wally" Walters, Chris Dickson, and That Bloke Who Wrote The Millionaire Music, and answers the burning question: Whatever happened to The Other Bloke From Bros?

Saturday December 14

More off the Consumer's Advent Calendar. Things in bold are yet to happen, those in italics just have. Once all these items are ticked off, up goes my Yule Decoration, and it's Officially Too Crowded to go shopping for anything more than bread, milk, and other essentials.

Now we are 25. Complex negotiations in Copenhagen have finished, and ten new countries will join the European Union in May 2004. From the north, it's hello Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania; greetings to Poland, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Slovenia, and Hungary; and two more spots in the Med, Malta and Cyprus. An extra excuse to tour Central Europe, good news for those who won't now need visas to commentate on Eurosong Valetta 2004, but bad news for those who go to Cyprus for duty free.
Turkey's membership is still a sticky point, concerns about the state's human rights record means she couldn't join this time. There is a commitment to negotiate in two years time, with entry possible circa 2010, perhaps alongside Bulgaria and Romania.
That just leaves Croatia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, S&M, Macedonia, Albania, Ukraine, Belarus, and Moldova to join. Oh, and Norway, Switzerland, and Iceland, which have declined to join in the past. Andorra, San Marino, Liechtenstein and the Vatican City are de facto, if not de jure members.

Friday December 13

A survey sponsored by a greetings card company suggests that 25% of households have put, or plan to put, some form of Yule decoration - lights, tree, sign for Mr Claus, whatever - outside their house. On the way from work, I did a quick count up, and found 7/152 houses had visible lights or signs *outside*, and another dozen or so had lights up inside. I'll repeat this survey in about ten days. In suburban Tucson last year, about 70% of houses had some sort of decoration, including those infamous wire reindeer eating a saguro.

The PHB has said that we'll be allowed to play a radio in the main office during the lull after Yule. Some have suggested bringing in a CD, though I'll be suggesting leaving the set tuned to Radio 3 throughout. Gotta have *some* culture in this plebian office.

But I digress... PHB suggested popping the case for the "CD now playing" above the player...

Boss: "Now we're just like shops! Whoever wants to know what disk is playing, they look at the display!"
Weaver: "Ah, but if you *really* want authenticity, you need to stare at the CD, then come up and ask 'What music do you have playing right now?'"

Thursday December 12

Searches incoming...

Here in Birmingham, it's the Earliest Sunset today. Sundown was at the disgustingly early time of 15:45:12. Tomorrow, it's at 15:45:15, and then increases so that by New Year, it's not going until 15:57. Yet the Shortest Day isn't until December 21, and Latest Sunrise isn't until January 3.

Why is this? Because we're using derivatives of Greenwich *Mean* Time, not Actual Solar Time. Because the earth is orbiting the sun, it has to spin a little further east each day to bring up the sun in the morning. And owing to the elliptical nature of the orbit, this effect is most pronounced around the December solstice, as we're closest to the sun, and hence moving fastest.

Now, why do both sunrise *and* sunset get later for the next few weeks? This is the tilt of the earth's orbit coming into play. The actual mathematics of this is just beyond me, but the angle of tilt acts more than the rotational device noted above, causing sunrise to move later.

Even more detail? Earth & Sky covered this two years ago, while the US Military also has an explanation.

The south wind shall blow, and we shall have snow. At least for an hour, then it'll turn into rain because it's the sort of snow that comes from a warm front blowing the cold air away to the north.

This meterological insight is Blazingly Obvious to someone out walking, who will be able to notice straight away that it's nowhere near as cold as it was this morning, that the precipitation is melting almost as soon as it hits the ground covered with 2mm of early-front snow, and that it's Just Not Slippy.

Sadly, such weather reports are lost on dumb morons in their cars. Insulated from the real elements, they assume that snow presages ice (in this case, it doesn't) which presages slipperyness. In fact, this is the adhesive sort of snow, the kind that sticks to the pavements because it's warmer than freezing.

Drivers on the B4567 can expect long tailbacks while going up Weaver's Hill, as drivers are going slower than walking pace up and down the hill, lest they lose control and crash. Didn't stop them from going at 55 when it was frozen yesterday...

(Some names of hills and roads have been changed.)

These people clearly hadn't read How To Drive, a publication from the far west of Canada, places where people *don't* panic when there's 2mm of snow on the ground.

Wednesday December 11

Last year's Big Impression Christmas Special gets a repeat. Whatever happened to Paul Clarke and Helen Adams? Or Earth Mother Davina's "Big Mutha" shirt? Remember when David Beckham was able to do anything? Or WestminStars was a tolerable joke, and not the way a candidate for the 2004 US election would be selected? And as for "EastEnders - The Musical" - that was a ripoff of "Daria!" and "Once More With Feeling" a year ago.

Michael Heseltine presents his side of history, and his prescription to better the country:
1) Join the Euro.
2) Get rid of Blair.
3) Get into Downing Street.
4) ???
5) Nirvana!

The bit about half an hour in where Hezza explains why the myth about "selling out to Brussels" is classic, and his put down to the Loony Fringe of the Eurosceptics: "Could you explain what you mean?" allows the questionner to show that he's parroting rubbish from the Daily Hell without understanding it. The putdown to him is sigworthy.

Tuesday December 10

Do you know your bloodtype?
No.

Any interesting things your name spells with the letters rearranged?
"I Ain't Weaver" (cheers, k)

Do you know anyone with the same first name as you?
Banks, the author. Harvey, the guitarist from del Amitri. Duncan Smith, the comedian.

Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?
My father... and his father. Certain lack of imagination in evidence there.

Do you know anyone (unrelated) that has the same last name as you?
Sigourney, the acter. Jeff, the pitcher.

Do you have any weird nicknames that only your family calls you?
No.

Do you collect anything?
Silly questionnaires.

What is your most treasured item?
My housekeys.

What's your earliest memory?
Trains passing my bedroom window at night.

Who was your hero when you were a child?
I really don't recall.

Any last words?
Nope.

Monday December 9

Do Not Confuse These People! On the left, Jon Snow, the Channel 4 newscaster and investigative journalist. On the right, John Snow, the new Republican spokesdroid on killing the economy. Please don't get these people mixed up. Phew. Glad we've got that sorted.

Not that I should need to go shopping for gifts this side of the solstice shutdown. Went in with a list of Must Gets (toothbrush, toothpaste, small prezzie for father), Would Like To Gets (calendar, decoration, cards) and Would Be Nice To Gets (a couple of not-too-obscure but not-too-mainstream CDs.)
Dental care equipment followed without any problem, as did father's minigift. His main gift is a bicycle, collectively with mother and the sis.
Calendar, check, that's Goddesses 2003 replacing Buffy 2002.
Decoration, check, a 2.5m string of frosted fake holly. It'll go up the stairs and I'll call that The Yule Decoration. Trees? Pshaw, imported tat.
Cards, check, and not religious ones either.
As for the Would Be Nices, not a flicker. 1 Love may be a collection of great songs of yesteryear, redone by the greatest acts of the present day (and Oasis) but neither hide nor hair of it in the store. As for Xfm's Maybe This Christmas charity disk, not a flicker. On the upside, confirmation that recent releases by Mr Robbie "Too Big For Me Ego, Me" Williams and Miss Avril "The School Bully" Lavigne are *not* CDs as we know them, but Corrupt Disks, and hence not eligable for the CD countdown. More on corrupt CDs in the UK