Weaver Archive

Sunday November 17

Channel 4 presents the top 100 selling singles of all time; the 76 million sellers, and the others that shifted 947,000 or more. Of these 100, I've bought exactly five: #2 Do They Know It's Christmas (first single ever); #17 Perfect Day; #54 Heartbeat / Tragedy; #59 It's Like That; and #60 Teletubbies Say Eh-Ho (er, it was for my girlf at the time. Honest.) Ah well, there goes any semblance of cool...
Appearing on artist albums: #7 Relax and #22 Two Tribes (Welcome To The Pleasuredome remains a hugely cool album to this day); #39 My Heart Will Goon (a completely out-of-place coda to the instrumental album that's far better than the film); #40 Wannabe and #67 Two Become One (two slices of perfect pop); #41 Killing Me Softly; #76 Blue Monday; and #85 Torn.

I was intrigued by the preponderance of million sellers since the mid-90s, and spent more than a little time researching them...

Saturday November 16

While out shopping for more burnable CDs, it's another thing off the Consumer's Advent Calendar...

Quick review of the albums bought last weekend...
Shamen - It's Supernatural Part Two. Three standout tracks, and an hour of pleasant if slightly samey stuff.
Best Of 90-02 - U2 falls into the trap of revising their history, and taking away the quirky bits that made the decade. Disappointingly incomplete - a straightforward singles collection would be preferable.
De Afrekening - live versions of classic tracks from the Studio Brussels sessions. An Xfm collection for the late 90s, and every track a winner.
Scarlet's Walk - Tori's most coherent album, with the possible exception of "Choirgirl". Perfect for wet, miserable days like today. Every song is quality, my only concern is that there might be a few too many of them. The CD format allows up to 80 minutes of tunes, when 60 is about the limit for a concept album.

Still on pop culture, the amazingly tedious Craig Deavid has run into problems. In the UK, his much-vaunted comeback single stalled at the lower end of the top 20. In the US, where his same-old same-old brand of cheese soul seems to go down slightly better, he's been advised to lose one of his band members. The reason? Said band member has far less skin pigmentation than the lead performer. Apparently, leading lights in the "urban" scene reckon that "mixed" groups don't go down well. The audience couldn't be contacted for sensible comment, possibly because there is no audience to begin with.

BBC4's perpetually viewable timeshift strand reviews BBC2 when David Attenborough was the controller. It's slightly disconcerting to think that the man now associated with big-budget nature programmes was once the head of Britain's Best Television station, before that mantle was devolved to C4 (82 - 97 or thereabouts) and BBC4 (since March.) Back in the days when there was a live cultural magazine every night, but one that didn't distinguish between "high" and "pop" culture. If BBC4 ever gets a decent budget, this would be A Good Idea. In the days when Pot Black introduced colour television to the nation. I've tried watching snooker on a monochrome set, and it is possible, though takes huge amounts of concentration. One contributor suggests that then, television was a spectacle with something for everyone prepared to think; now, television is a vehicle for the hegemony of consumption. And is that a Chris Searle narration? Why, I do believe it is. Hurrah!

Thursday November 14

Thearcth!

And hello to Hinesh.

Wednesday November 13

Mark Goodiebags will move from Radio 1's Official Best Sellers In Stores By Volume chart to Classic fm's Official Most Promoted By Us chart in the new year. Apparently, this counts as a step up in the world. It's a shame, he would have made the perfect host for Radio 2's PICK OF THE POPS, and a perfect replacement for Steve Wrong All Afternoon. That said, anyone would be better. Apart from Sarah Kennedy, perhaps.

Now, how can the royals bring themselves into disrepute today? By saying what the government will do. For some reason lost in the depths of history and now deemed tradition, Lixz Windsor (a corgi-owner from Perthshire) gets to read a piece of paper containing the government's plans for the coming year. Lowlights included...

Tuesday November 12

Now, what the hell has been going on in my absence? Well, let's start with the good news, how the Windsors are facing their biggest constitutional crisis since the last one. It's all going back to that trial, stopped on the first of the month.

It's come out that the attorney general was personally consulted over the ending of the Burrell trial, contradicting the Official Downing Street line peddled until last week. But it was Chuck Windsor, a farmer from Gloucstershire, who told prosecutors that his mother Lixz remembered Burrell had said something about keeping papers safe which pointed to his innocence. This evidence was not tested is in open court, but in a backstairs deal.

Did Chuck stand to benefit from the trial being aborted? Naturally. The defence was about to begin. Burrell was about to take the stand. The defence strategy was going to be hideously embarrassing and damage the standing of the monarchy. Burrell's counsel was expected to call Hasnat Khan, who had been having an affair with Chuck's estranged wife, Diane (a fashion model from Kensington and/or Chelsea). He would testify that, having been smuggled into Clock Court, he knew there were no cameras in that part of Kensington Palace. Therefore, others with inside knowledge knew where to sneak in.

The defence had already won an admission from the Crown that the missing contents of Diane's box - the really sensitive part of the case - were of "strong interest" to others. The strategy was going to be to suggest that they had been stolen by a mafia of gay royal servants. The reason? Because the box's contents contained claims of male rape that Chuck's office had covered up. The rape had been allegedly committed by one of Chuck's aides, and was never reported to the police when allegations came to light in 1996.

Then there's a peculiar discrepancy in Chuck's version of events, which any independent inquiry should certainly begin by probing. Chuck's office suggested to Het Grauniad last week that the tape did not exist - or, at any rate, no longer existed. "It has been suggested that the... allegation was secretly recorded by the late Princess of Wales in 1996. At no stage have the police produced any such tape, or any witness who has heard such a tape, and we have no evidence of the existence of any such tape." Yet George Smith, the former footman and Falklands veteran who told police he was the victim of the alleged rape, confirmed at the weekend that he was taped by Diane twice in the mid-90s, telling his story.

Sarah McCorquodale (Diane's sister) testified on oath during the trial about the tape's existence. She and Burrell had discovered it together in 1997, in a locked box, after finding a hidden key. She told the Old Bailey that it was a "tape by an employee". Burrell had taken the tape, inside the box, "for safekeeping", along with a ring from Diane's lover James Hewitt (a cad from Rugby), and letters from Lixz's husband Philip (a gaffe from Greece.) The last she saw of the tape, she testified, was of Burrell disappearing into the Kensington Palace lift with the box, in the direction of the butler's pantry.

Sources close to Burrell's legal team confirm that he took the tape. "Burrell knew what was on it," one said. "Diane had told him." Burrell has remained extremely coy as to what became of it. Did he give it to Lixz? If so, neither party has admitted it. Did he give it to Chuck? Although the two arranged to have a private meeting before the trial commenced, it was apparently cancelled because Chuck fell off his horse. There is no evidence that they rescheduled this backstairs meeting. Yet this tape, according to George Smith, contains material any member of the royal family would desperately want to destroy.

And what sort of investigation will we get? One involving the full powers of the Met? Nope. One involving the skills of Sherlock Hemlock? Nada. One involving someone who makes Hong Kong Phooey look skilful? You got it. One inquiry by Chuck's office, into Chuck's office.

Also this weekend: The UN Security Council passes a resolution telling Iraq to admit its weapons inspectors. Remember, folks, Iraq has never forced the UN inspectors out. They pulled out, having been warned about Operation Wag The Desert Fox, the series of raids on Baghdad in December 98 that was cancelled after barely 60 hours. Any flouting of this resolution will almost certainly result in another US-led attack. Meanwhile, UNSC resolution 242, calling for Israel to withdraw from occupied territory, remains flouted.

Monday 11 November

This is a public holiday in Belgium, marking the 1918 armistice. Rather than have the mechanised rituals of the UK, Belgians are trusted to mark the day in their own way. There are no sellers of little paper flowers harassing people for money. (Indeed, I saw no sellers of magazines or plastic cups harassing for money.) There's no public announcement to mark a silence at 11am, it just happens, then life goes on. Indeed, the 11/11 holiday is the formal opening of the Christmas shopping season, with Mr Saint Nicholas taking up residence in his grotto later in the day.

Gare du Midi is - effectively - 20 parallel tracks, with a minimall underneath the tracks. Eurostar customers wait at the low-numbered southbound end, airport and other local trains generally leave in the middle, trains to the north of the country generally head off from the high numbers. As well as the supermarket and chocolateers, there's a couple of newsagents, a decent food court, and a few knick-knack shops that must cater for the Eurostar tourists. Ticketing is the other side of the main hall, and there are a lot of outlets: domestic traffic (including airport) from low numbers, international ticketing in the teens, passes and advice in the 30s.

The journey back was uneventful: I'd left plenty of time for check in, and it took no more than ten minutes. Another 1/3 full flight, this time flying back over North London. The angle of the sun was such that it reflected brilliantly off the Serpentine, and I had no idea the body of water in Hyde Park was so large. You *can* see FAME ACADEMY'S Witanhurst Manor from the air, if you know exactly where to look; we didn't get a decent view of Elstree, so no shots of the new BB house.