Florida will settle the NAACP's class-action suit claiming massive voter fraud in the 2000 Presidential election out of court. The climbdown is an effective admission from Jeb Bush that he attempted to rig the state's election in favour of his brother, George. There will be sweeping modifications to voter registration, voter-roll maintenance and polling practices. Commentators believe that Florida least wanted to see the incorrect removal of criminals from the state's rolls. In Harris's elections office files, next to DBT's sophisticated verification plan, there is a hand-written note: 'DON'T NEED.' The campaign to get Katharine Harris thrown in jail continues. Harris will be running for Congress, and Bush for re-election to the State Governorship.

Oh, go on then.
1. What's your favorite piece of clothing that you currently own?
We're probably talking one of the t-shirts. Perhaps the long-sleeved yellowish one. That always keeps me warm, and it looks good, in a slightly distressed splodges over it way.

2. What piece of clothing do you most want to acquire?
I really don't think there's such an item. Sorry to be so boring...

3. What piece of clothing can you not bring yourself to get rid of? Why?
Socks that always seem to have one or two more days in, then last for six months.

4. What piece of clothing do you look your best in?
Probably said yellow t, and some light jeans. If it's not yellow, then it has to be blue. Red will do, white will do, black will do, green probably won't.

5. What has been your biggest fashion accident?
Pretty much everything!

The utterly bizarre tale of Michael Jackson (the former popstar, not the USA Networks controller) continues. MTV claimed the notowrk had *not* presented Michael Jackson with "artist of the millennium" honors at the 2002 Video Music Awards - even though the pop star believed he had accepted such an award on live international television. The Drudge Report explains more:

"When I was a little boy in Indiana, if someone had told me that one day I'd be getting the Artist of the Millennium award, I wouldn't have believed it," Jackson told the audience after receiving a standing ovation.

"There is no such honor," MTV's Joe D'Angelo quickly reported on MTV.COM, noting how Jackson was very confused.

On the morning after the night before the Jackson spokesmonkey said: "Britney handed him the award! It was silver with a red bow... picture to right - w "What do they mean, there is 'no such award'... What was the award then? This is no way to treat the artist which put MTV on the map!"

MTV explained the confusion in a report on MTV.COM, placing blame for the cross-cables on the stars. "Britney Spears introduced birthday boy Michael Jackson and presented him with a tiered cake. She referred to Jackson as 'the artist of the millennium,' and Jackson thought he actually won an award by that name, though no such award exists."

Elsewhere on MTV.COM, the network trumpeted: "Michael Jackson's unprecedented Artist of the Millennium award...." picture to left - w

There's a report that the freak forced his way into the show on Monday and the producers agreed to it. Whacko's camp wanted some sort of presentation, so MTV more or less lied and backtracked afterwards. Other reports say that Britney and Michael were the victims of a prank; Michael was told to expect a cake and Britney was told it was an award.

Certainly the implanted one (Birtney, that is) never said it was an award. She said it was his birthday and then something like, "a person who I consider to be the artist of the millennium." She also didn't hand him the "award." He picked it up off the cake table himself.

Normally, when you're awarded some lifetime achievement award or artist of the whatever award, they usually build up your accomplishments with a speech and a video montage summarizing your career (see Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremonies, or St Bob's ultra-nauseating introduction to the Christ's Sympathy Award For Producing A Crap Album at the 96 Brit Awards ... the one where Jarvis Cocker stormed the stage five minutes later.)
This time, there was no introduction or video clip or reference to Michael until his name was called and he came out. None of that preceded Michael's appearance led anyone to believe that he was getting anything more than a birthday cake and ornamental gift. Nor are such awards given in the first half hour of the show.

The host happened to have an exact replica of the award. Pop's last virgin (Jacko, that is) came with a written thankyou list.

The Pears was clearly auditioning for the Village People, Clitring for the grease mechanic. Avril will go so far, but cut the "punk" image, it demeans and distracts. Eminem remains a pillock for the (counts) fourth year running. Pink - fab. No Jimmys. Not enough Michelle Branch. The experimental filmic effect works for shorts like CHUMS, but tires the eyes for three hours at a stretch, especially after PAL conversion. Next year, let's have Kelly Osbourne and Kelly from Pop Idle (US) hosting and winning the lot. Ta.

There's a celebrity version of SURVIVOR airing in the UK at the mo. There's too much going on for my regular game show column, so the excess will have to go elsewhere.

Some things change, some stay the same in Daria's Camp Fear. Back to a reunion at the old camp, presumably from where Butthead and Butthead was set. Meeting the girl who is *almost* like Daria. Quinn meeting her comrades who are *almost* the fashion club. The annoying camp leader who is *almost* so gee-up that he'd make a good Scientologist leader. While the parents stay at home and remember all the trips they didn't take, and Jane and Trent go off and meet the yokels. It shouldn't work, but it does show how much Daria has changed over the years we've known her.

Alexa issues its Top 500 sites on the net. Yahoo is #1. Duh. MSN.com is second, purely because 50% of Internet Deplorer users can't change their homepage. Daum.net comes third - I've never heard of this. Google ranks fifth, one slot ahead of Passport. Hotmail ranks a pisspoor 25th.
The battle of the telly networks: Disney's Go is #20, AOL Time Warner #22, CNN #26, MSNBC #31, the BBC #38, the Korean Broadcasting Service #45, The Weather Channel #96, Cartoon Network #120, CBS Sports #125, CBS Finance #160, Nick #234, MTV #379. The NY Times leads the press, at #84, with USA Today #152, Washington Post #169, Aftonbladet #178, with Het Grauniad the UK leader at #451.
Spammers and crap: Gator #27, Doubleclick.net #64, x10.com #81, Windowsmedia.com #90, Comet Cursor #102
Misc: barbie.com #105, MLB #213, Teacup.com #301, NFL #310.

Note that this survey is only applicable to users of Internet Explorer running a certain plug in. It will lean to more geeky subjects, and may be out by as much as 10%.

Apparently, a Mrs Mathers from Detroit was nasty on international television this morning. It went a little something like this: Blather, blather, blather, misunderstood rebel from a broken home, blather blather blather, 1st Ammendment caterwauling, blather blather blather, Moby is giving me the devil eyes, blather blather blather, this dog puppet is messing with me, blather blather blather. Also: Michael Jackson Not Artist Of The Millooneyum; Birtney's Pears Looks Demure; Clitring Aggilerra booed off stage. Film at 11. And 12. And all weekend. The award, incidentally, went to Dashboard Confessional for the thoroughly excellent Screaming Infidelities.

In other great music news, Jay Kay - frontman with the jazz - minus - soul band Jamiroquai - will be retiring at the end of the year. He's fed up with his crap coming out of the radio all the time. And if he isn't, I sure am.

The US will not allow foreign planes to fly into New York or Washington for most of September 11. Planes can only move before 0800, between 1200 and 1530, or after 2130. This will allow most of the late-morning departures from Europe to land in their usual slots, but any restriction on movements invites the comment: isn't this giving in to the mythical terrorists? In the islamic calendar, the one year anniversary falls this coming Saturday. No restrictions are expected.

Ah, the Best of the Pet Shop Boys. Discography first came out in 1991, reviewing the (then) six year hit making career of Chris 'n' Neil. They've slowly changed over the years since, speeding up the evolution on the singles album. Incidentally, isn't it about time the Shoppies gave us another GH album? It's been a decade since the last one...

Haircut, then spend most of the day converting an array of spreadsheets into one coherent database. A fun exercise, though of strictly limited point.

Mozilla 1.1 is out. Now. The asymptote is well and truly over. I'm sorely tempted to throw one or two zingers to those still using Internet Deplorer. Starting by taking away my review of Hero, which has attracted 447 views so far this month. The index has a "mere" 213 visits. No other page has more than 100. Chad also has the top search term, but chickfights is now a clear #2 for the month. Including one person searching for this term from the US House of Representatives. Is this for what you pay your tax dollars? You don't pay tax dollars? Your secret is safe with me.

Plastic.com picks up on the airport security problem I mentioned some weeks ago. As people know when they've been searched harder, potential terrorists can make a decent sample of flights (possibly as few as five) then send their members least likely to be searched further to do the operation. It brought up the question of exactly from where eminated the assumption that box-cutters were used last year. Only on US77 was there a report of something that might have been such. E J Epstein has more. Unreviewed link, at present.

In good news, Pestlife has given up its second attempt to crack the US market, as the people over there can see just what a load of crud the band is.

The best of the Smashing Pumpkins, and the best of Buffalo Tom. Ver Tom never cracked the UK market, as their brand of melodic rock just doesn't fit into the narrow mindset of British radio programmers. The Pumpkins were so outlandish, and of such critical popularity, that their slightly less melodic noise-rock briefly found a home.

1. What do you do to make things better when you feel sad and/or lonely?
Breathe deeply, take a walk, read a good book.

2. Are you a "touchy-feely" person? That is, do you like to touch people you don't know that well? And on the flipside of that, do you like being touched by someone you aren't close with?
Not particularly with those people I don't know well, but when I do get close, it's close.

3. Do you like to have "me" time, time to yourself to be alone and relax? Or do you prefer to just do your own thing with someone else in the room? When was the last "me" time you got and what did you do?
Living with a whole house to myself makes every day a "me" day.

4. Generally speaking, how do you feel about the concept of marriage? Are you the marrying type? Do you think the act of getting married means something today or is it simply just "a piece of paper?"
The significant part is the commitment between the partners. Anything else is just flim-flam, and society has no role regulating it.

5. That said, as many as 25 states have passed legislation regulating who they believe should be the "marrying type." What are your thoughts on the banning of same-sex marriages?
The comments abobe apply.

6. If there was one law you had the ability to create or change, what would it be?
The law of physics that says I can't go anywhere or do anything just by thinking about it.

7. What would you like someone visiting your Blog for the first time to know about you? Now is your chance!
This is Weaver. Not perfumed, not coloured, not that kind.

A poster on rec.music.tori-amos wonders after our morning routines. It depends on whether it's a work day or not.
Assuming work day, radio alarm will fire at 0659, and may (or may not!) fire into news at 0700. The breakfast DJ needs to switch the automation off by hand, and if he's late / ill / forgotten, there is no news. Roll out of bed during the second song after the news, gather clothes, visit bathroom, make breakfast. Some of us have decent breakfasts; cereal, juice, and toast; and this takes about 25 minutes to prepare and eat. Check entertainment and sport sections of teletext - I'm trying to avoid UK news media until they get a sense of perspective. Then shave, clean teeth, do washing up, put on shoes, and head for the door shortly after 0805. That'll get me into work at 0830: then check backups, grab coffee, and check overnight mail.
Non-work days will see me sleep in till getting on for 8, then a similar but more relaxed version of the above. Saturdays have me headed for the store before it gets busy, Sundays may have me out for a paper before making breakfast. Exciting it is not, I'm not really at my best for a couple of hours after waking.

I refuse to be nasty to anyone who has been stuck in Tucson airport for some hours. There are far worse places to spend time.

Reasons why DOGs and cropping of pictures are a fatal combination. Kirsty Young is blithering on about some car crash in Paris. It's taken from an on-air tape, and includes the famous 5 mark at top left. Or, to be exact, includes 92% of the famous 5 mark, some way off to the left of the picture. The rest is cropped off to allow for faked 16:9 framing. The picture now includes the famous 5 mark, in the 4:3 safe area. So, our archive footage shows *two* famous 5 marks, and clear proof that the show looks crap.

VH1's Countdown Of Number Ones moves to the 90s. I pick up in late 1991. The Fly, the record with which the 90s surely landed. Then Dizzy, of which more in time. Then Black Or White. All thirteen minutes of it. I've not seen that clip in full since its Amazing Showstopping Premiere on TOTP. The bit before the song, with Macaulay Culkin playing his tunes very loud. And blasting his father out of the house, landing next to Jacko doing an African dance. We don't see said father again, so what the hell has this got to do with anything?
Then the song itself, with Jacko pretending to rule supreme over the world, and The Incredible Melty Faces Bit. Then our hero morphs into a puma, grabs the place where his crotch should be a lot, smashes up a car and a store, brings down a neon sign, then morphs back into a puma and leaves. What the hell has this got to do with anything? In fact, what the hell?

Commercial on Xfm: See Blazing Squad! And celebrities!. They may have the Best Seller In Stores By Volume this week (though only the 16th biggest actual hit of the week,) but they're Not Celebrities! Hah!

From the Mirror's gossip column: Last month, the show's audience of 12million plunged below nine million three times. 12 million is now smaller than nine million, eh? Eh?