Sunday August 18
Not everyone has the blessing of a good speaking voice. Even Charlotte Green agrees that her perfectly-rounded vowels took more than a little practice. I have to remember from time to time to not speak in a monotone, and then not to sound as though I'm being sarcastic. (Yes, I'm just a little bit of Ray from TMWE. So shoot me.)
The leaders of the fuel protests in 2000, subjects of Sixty Days
on C4 last night, are triply cursed. One sounds hectoring, one is loud and sounds uncouth, one sounds as though he's the most arrogant man in the county, and the other is all three of the above at once. Whatever the rights and wrongs of their cause, they were on the back foot from the start.
The cause - reduce fuel duty - had support from the general public, but the tactics of disrupting fuel supplies had already brought the country to the brink of shutdown once. Not only would the government not stand it, but in the intervening period, the public had suffered two stoppers. Trains had been paralysed after the Health & Safety Executive panicked following a derailment in Hertfordshire; and a month of non-stop rain had caused floods across much of the nation.
No protester ever suggested looking into means of removing the dependency on fuel. Or even on the root cause of their problems, the EU's insane and corrupt agricultural "policy."
America, you are a goddamn shame. I'm consistently amazed that Americans haven't risen up and driven their greedy, lying, scumbag leaders out of the halls of power at the points of their beloved guns, before they destroy what good is left. Yet in the face of massive worldwide fear, anger, and often outright loathing of what America has become, even among her closest neighbours and friends, is to dismiss it out of hand. The nation is becoming, as described in the open letter, monstrous.
Record of the week: By The Way - Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Saturday August 17
Warning that today's last entry contains major plot spoilers for real time serial drama 17
(aka "24"). If you've not seen the first season, you may not wish to read.
Ah, why bother bashing Jeff Archer, top liar, when Mark Lawson can do it for you. M'lord of Belmarsh Nick will be allowed out to spend some days working in the London theatre. Clearly the parole board will allow other felons to return to the scenes of their crimes.
Perhaps including two people arrested in Soham this morning in connection with the missing lasses (below.) This is a significant development in the greater scheme of things: two people nicked, enquiry changes from missing persons to murder. It's not of such earth-shattering importance that it justifies gavel-to-gavel coverage for over an hour on BBC2, nor for The Struggling ITN News Channel (to give it its full title) dropping all commercials.
A regular reader is asking why I'm not reviewing Sky News' coverage of the affair. That would require actually *watching* Fischer-Pricey Nooz, and up with that I shall not put.
According to a wire report, lots of Chinese teenagers get their information about sex from pornography. "The problem is a lack of sex education in the classroom and at home, forcing many youngsters to seek knowledge about the birds and the bees from adult websites and porn videos," reported the Communist organ China Daily. The over-inflated rag accuses teachers and parents of "failing miserably in performing that duty." Just 1.7 percent of teens in Beijing and Shanghai got most of their sex education in school. Even fewer, 1.3 percent, said their parents had provided them with any useful knowledge about sexual matters.
It would be nice to suggest that this situation were different in the west, but it's not. Most of my sex ed came from learning and getting burned. School provided the basics in Primary 6 (ish) - how one reproduces, but it was utterly mechanical. Then nothing until the very last week before school finished. Because the science course was entirely assessed by coursework, without a final exam, we had a week when the syllabus had finished and lessons had to be timetabled, but what to fill? The matronly biology teacher, almost (but not quite) old enough to be our granny, talking about sexually transmitted diseases and a demonstration of how to put a condom on a test tube. And, er, that's it. By this time, a good third of us had done the deed, and a lot of the rest of us were, er, heading that way. The prurience of Britain struck again. The Frenzy - that biology teach - remarked that our class was the first in four or five years not to lose a member to pregnancy. Should that be remarkable?
17
- Missing In Action. A short list of the plot points in "real time drama" "17" that have been left unfilled:
Mason's moolah (USD 200,000, mentioned 0025). Has he been secretly stashing funds away all day?
One jumbo jet (exploded 0050). Nothing has been seen or heard about this massive plane crash over Utah since about 0300.
Mandy (responsible for above.) Handed something over at 0140, then vanished into the ether.
One encrypted key card (false lead between about 0300 and 0600.) It took three hours to decrypt that card, and the info turned out to be duff, but whatever happened to it?
Gaines' call to Jamie (at 0859) Jamie is dead. Who answers the phone? Not resolved in ep 10.
What happened to the Gaines gang (all shot 1230-1330). We know, Jack's lot don't, but who seeks them?
The disappearing Palmer backers - were they all frightened into oblivion when David spoke at 1850?
Friday August 16
Updating Monday's report on two missing girls. On Tuesday night, the police found some badger setts near Newmarket racecourse, and confused them with shallow graves. The Daily Hell asked "Are these graves?" No was the answer by Wednesday morning.
That night, the Cambridgeshire police chief made an unprecedented appeal for an abductor to switch on one of the girl's Handys, and pick up a message he'd left. The act of picking up that message would have given away the Handylocation to within about 500m. See Monday's other entry.
Nothing resulted from that appeal. On Friday afternoon, police announced that two people - a school caretaker and a classroom assistant who live together - were Helping Police With Their Enquiries. Their house was searched, their names were made public, and reporters were filmed outside that place on national television. If they're not guilty of anything, then people *are* going to assume that there was no smoke without fire, and their lives will be a living hell. For absolutely no reason.
Slapped wrists to BBC No News 24: footage of this conference aired 100 minutes later does *not* count as "breaking news", the red line above a scrolling ticker looks utterly atrocious, especially as most of the footage has not been shot for this massive caption. The whole design is a mess, and the BBC needs something far clearer, smaller, quieter, and less bright red. They cancelled NEIGHBOURS on The One for this crud? Those of us viewing on News 24 did get an 80 second countdown, so there are small mercies.
...and the story continues
Gwynneth Poltroon moans that British guys don't want to date her. Could this be because we know that she's liable to burst into tears at the most inopportune moments, and that she's rated far beyond her abilities. The poultice's preference for "toffs" doesn't help, either.
Thursday August 15
One for the regular viewers: Meetup.com. Scammers, clueless, or actually performing a potentially useful service? Write meetup {at] daweaver.free-online.co.uk, s'il vous plait.
An article suggests that last September's crimes against humanity weren't acts of terror, or a warlike act, but the enactment of a fantasy. The people involved were just props in the theatre of the mind of one person.
The argument as presented is long, and subject to diversion along its route. The gist runs something like this: Someone has a fantasy, based on some cultural stereotype. This fantasist articulates a transformative belief, one that is not content to describe the world, but aims to change it. The radical strain of islam is one such fantasy, as it aims to convert the entire planet.
Given this basic idea, the attack was not designed to alter US policy, but to play as theatre to the perpetrators. The targets - the Mile High Trade Tower, the Pentagoon, the White House - stood as symbols of US power and hedgemony, familiar across the world. The purpose was to prove that islamic purity (as represented by the radical bombers) could triumph over the great satan (as represented by the US.)
One way to remove the fantasy ideology is to remove its creator. If one assumes that al-qaeda was responsible, this can reasonably be taken as done. The struggle thus becomes one of removing the remnants of this fantasy, but the article stops short of suggesting how this might be achieved.
Might the fundamentalist christians pick up on this idea and redouble their efforts to convert moderate moslems? Will they launch new Crusades against the infidel Arabs? Unlikely; this is a highly complex argument, and contains many flaws. Heck, many of the defining characteristcs of fantasy that is radical islam are also present in the fantasy that is fundamental christianity. Note also that the Romans attempted to deal with another fantasy ideology by nailing a carpenter to a tree, but failed to complete the mopping up afterwards.
How does one go about fighting an idea? With ideas. Maybe try carpet bombing Iraq with parcels of jeans and other soft consumer durables for a week, then go back over and drop leaflets saying "Who doesn't want you to have these? Sadaam Hussein!"
Wednesday August 14
Well, I tried to watch Teenage Kicks
last night. This week's topic was drugs and the kids wot use and abuse 'em. Couldn't get more than a third of the way through without wanting to switch off. Not because the show wasn't any cop - it was as good as last week's - but because the subject matter was just hitting in *that* spot. The one that says "it could be you." Big Brother does some strange things sometimes.
On a far lighter note: The History Of Michael Jackson's Face.
Tuesday August 13
Common sense seems to be at a premium on the railways this month. There's a closure every weekend from now (at least) until Christmas just south of Milton Keynes. This led to the bizarre announcement at New Street last Saturday: "The 1136 to Milton Keynes, calling at ... Wolverton, and Milton Keynes. This train will not call at Bletchley. It is terminating at Milton Keynes. The stop before Bletchley."
Anyway, that line is blocked. On the coming holiday weekend, the East Coast line will *also* be blocked, somewhere around Retford. The practical upshot is that if you want to get from London to (say) Edinburgh without travelling by road, your route is St Pancreas to Nottingham and Sheffield, then local trains to Doncaster, Leeds, or York, from where one can pick up regular East Coast trains to Scotland.
Barring this, my suggestions for alternative routes to avoid the crap on the West Coast are...
From BIRMINGHAM, WOLVERHAMPTON: Chilterns from Snow Hill / Moor Street into Marylebone. Wolverhampton can take the tram from St George's, or change in central Brum. Chiltern-specific tickets (ask for Route High Wycombe) are cheaper than Vermin ones, the ride is far nicer than the 1980 stock on the WC, and at 2h30 for the complete journey, it's quicker.
From COVENTRY: Cross-country to Leamington, from where you can pick up the Chiltern. Cheaper fares apply.
From STAFFORD, LICHFIELD, RUGELEY: Awkward. You could go into Birmingham and change to Chiltern, but it'll probably be quicker to go train-bus-train.
From NUNEATON: You are lucky. You get direct links to Leicester and Derby. Go that way and take the Midland Main Line to St Pancreas.
From LIVERPOOL, MANCHESTER, and stations in that area: Head to Sheffield, take the MML down. Note that the line between Stafford and Crewe will be closed weekends in September. Or head to Doncaster, and take the East Coast to King's X.
From CARLISLE and points north: Head for Newcastle, and take the East Coast down to King's X. By Eurostar to London... Or consider flying.
A contributor to uk.railway asks what to do between 5 and 9pm at Euston station. My advice is to get out of there as soon as possible. Euston will remain busy till after 8 with the commuters. Come out of the station to the right, go down the road opposite, and there's a massive Waterstones for the UCL down the road at the right. This will fill an hour of anyone's time. Regent's Park is within walking distance to the right of the station, and the Barbican is ten minutes away by tube from Euston Square.
Latest dumb idea for the Handyfreeken. The Pinpoint Company throws into the pot a technology that uses the cell technology used by radio phones to locate people within a typical margin of error of 500m. This has all sorts of unethical implications: bosses will succumb to the temptation to track their minions in real time, but employees can leave their handys in the office when they nip off for some fun. In the US, this is marketed as a manager-subordinate tool: in the UK, the campaign will be sold as something that lets parents to keep track of their spawn.
Fatal Flaw Watch: the technology only works so long as the handy is switched on.
Science News: in a continent of 300 million people, such as Europe, a one-in-a-million chance will occur roughly once every five minutes. Brains work by matching patterns. They will look for patterns, not for chaos. Evolution tends to support false positives as less harmful than false negatives, thus tending to find patterns where none exist, and some wild conspiracy theories. More reading on this topic: Why People Believe Weird Things by arch skeptic Michael Shermer. (A US paperback edition follows next month.)
Suggestions that "real time drama" 17
has become cult television are interesting. The show, depicting 24 "hours" (of 42.5 minutes each, hence the name) in the life of some characters, reaches its conclusion on the BBC this weekend. The hype in the rest of the press and television has been immense, suggesting that this isn't *real* cult television. A proper cult needs at least two of the following elements:
+ Those few who watch the show are mocked by the vast majority which do not.
+ The viewers converse in a strange code, impenetrable to the outside world.
+ The fans organise conventions and other events.
How much of my viewing falls under this definition? BUFFY certainly does, with HSTs and in jokes, and "wasn't Cordelia annoying."
DARIA does; half the fun is that many of the episodes, and most of the scenes, are interchangable!
FRIENDS is perhaps too popular to be a cult, while this 17 doesn't (yet?) have this mocking tendency.
Game shows in general could qualify, though the organisations tend to be US-centric.
AS IF (2) could make it,but it lacks that extra level of involvement: the show remains passive, not active. Where is the fanfic?
THE SIMPSONS is just on the verge of being too popular; BIG BROTHER is too popular, but polarises opinion so much that it qualifies.
Perhaps the ultimate cult show is MY SO-CALLED LIFE; you either get it on an indefinable, sub-atomic, shaking you down to the core level, or you don't.
The New York Times on Eva Cassidy... "An album by an unknown dead singer on an obscure label, with songs ranging from "Autumn Leaves" to "Wade in the Water" is not likely to attract the attention of those who compile play lists for today's hyperactive radio stations, and this one was no exception." Thank fuck for Dr Wally and el Tel. The new album is jaw-droppingly awesome.
Monday August 12
Trouble at t'mill, as German bankers reckon the new Euro notes aren't as long lasting as the previous DMark ones. The ECU 5 note disintegrates somewhat faster than the equivalent DM 10 note, partly because it's slightly bigger and doesn't fit traditional German wallets.
The Apostrophe Protection Society comes up for discussion on mefi. The group that shares my annoyance with people who cannot correctly punctuate.
Some of the topics for discussion on today's Simon Mayo show inspired me. What makes one angry? For my money, it's general loudness. It's people wearing personal stereos that go "chuggachugga", and car drivers who can't wait two seconds to let me cross the road. It's bad spellers, people who end their sentences with a preposition, abuse of the apostrophe. Most of all, it's confusion between "that" and "which". It's so simple yet no one gets it right!
A number of callers expressed their anger at bad driving in general, and middle lane hogs in particular. One caller, who cannot be named as Phil in Birmingham, suggested overtaking them as normal, then driving in front of them just matching their speed. While in this perfectly safe position, note that the windscreen has suddenly become very dirty, thanks to some low-flying bird droppings, and requires some careful cleaning. Use the windscreen washer and wipers to remove this gunge, and completely by accident depositing it on the middle lane hog behind. It's amazing how quickly the other driver pulls back into the left lane...
Moron more on drivers and other perils of the road: Topless Gear ... Aidy's Rants ... A Yank in the UK
What purchases do you regret? To be honest, there are very few that have been utter disasters and I've not managed to get exchanged or refunded. Perhaps the biggest regret is buying lots of books, then never quite finishing