Sunday July 14
Pissed karaoke
At two in the bloody morning
Shoot the neighbours now.
The most bizarre sight in the garden. Slung between the fence on one side, and the fir trees on another, is a full spider's web. It must have appeared overnight, as I would have walked right through that path when cutting the grass yesterday. The most amazing thing is that one of the support strands must be at least 4m long. Mindblowing stuff.
Friday July 12
Link of the Day is How To Get Rid Of Door To Door Missionaries. The third last one is the best.
The Friday Top Twenty has fooled my calendar so badly that it's appearing on the right day. WTF?!
1) If Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young changed the order of the names so that it would read from the most talented member to the least talented, they would be called... Young.
2) I prefer...
A) Donovan when he was a Dylan-ish folksinger
B) Donovan as flower-power icon
C) Not talking about Donovan, thank you very much.
3) What was the worst thing about Elvis Presley's movies?
A) The plots
B) The songs
C) The scripts
D) The acting
E) The time he wasted making them that could have been used to make better records.
4) If I had been at a Bob Dylan concert in 1965/66, during the electric set I would have...
A) Embraced it
B) Booed.
5) Which is the better summation of your feelings of Prince's 1985 album 'Around The World In A Day.'
A) I think it's cool that he brings the feel of the Psychedelic 1960's into his modern pop music
B) I wouldn't have known this was supposed to be Psychedelic music if it hadn't been hyped up as such.
6) The Grateful Dead...Yes or no?
A) Yes
B) No
7) Which was a more impressive recording to you?
A) Emerson Lake and Palmer's "Karn Evil Nine"
B) The Kingsmen's "Louie Louie"
8) Cat Stevens' best recorded work is...
A) His mid 1960's pop hits
B) His 1970's folk material
C) His albums of Muslim chants
9) I believe that Jim Morrison...
A) Died in July 1971
B) Didn't die in July 1971 but has since died
C) Still breathes.
10) And while we're on the subject, Jim Morrison was...
A) A true poet, an artist, an icon, a genius, a cosmic messenger, a legend who succeeded by challenging the boundaries of authority and bravely stepped into that brave new world and reported back his findings.
B) An overrated bad drunk
11) Yoko Ono...
A) Deserves at least a little respect and less flack.
B) Broke up the Beatles and should go to hell for it
C) Broke up the Beatles but I'm glad she did.
12) Smashing a guitar onstage is a...
A) Statement
B) Gimmick
13) When it is reported that the Stones are going to do another tour, I...
A) Am glad to hear of it and hope to score tickets when they become available.
B) Instantly make jokes about their age.
14) If I had to leave my young children in the care of one of the following, I'd feel the safest leaving them with...
A) Captain Beefheart
B) Phil Spector
C) Syd Barrett
D) Roky Ericson
E) Billy Preston
15) Of these four, the one with the worst singing voice is...
A) Ringo Starr
B) Jeff Beck
C) Jimmy Page
D) Bill Wyman
16) 1971 was a great year for long songs that still get played too much on the radio. But of these, the one I can probably most tolerate hearing again is...
A) "Stairway To Heaven"
B) "Aqualung"
C) "Your Move/I've Seen All Good People"
D) "L.A. Woman"
E) "Riders On The Storm"
F) "Won't Get Fooled Again"
17) For the best in 1960's/early 1970's TV rock, I listen to..
A) The Monkees
B) The Archies
C) The Banana Splits
D) The Partridge Family
Don't spend time thinking about questions 18-20. Answer immediately with the first one that comes to mind.
18) Name the greatest rock movie ever made. Rattle & Hum.
19) Name any rock movie that should never have happened. In Bed With Madonna.
20) Name a rock star who truly deserves to be called a genius. Gary Numan.
Thursday July 11
"I know my race. I just look in the mirror. I know I'm black," said Michael Jackson yesterday. Replied Chris Tarrant, with one eyebrow cocked, "Final answer?"
Looking for Tori's new release, Some Kinda Fairytale
on my favoured file replicator, I come across that amazing rarity. A song that she sings but doesn't make the definitive performance! Yes, such a concept - rarer than rocking horse droppings, admittedly - does exist! Over The Rainbow
remains Eva Cassidy's. Period. Oh, the new one is first-listen-fantastic, perhaps the most crystal clear-headed performance since 1996's Boys for Pele
album.
Until last month, my favourite football World Cup had been the 1994 edition in the USA. Whether it was the exotic thrill of staying up past midnight to watch the games, or the absence of any home interest, this was the perfect cup. Eight years on, the compilation soundtrack album (yes, there was one) has dropped into my grubby mitts with change from a Toonie. And it's a thoroughly good album. The slightly pompous but very soulful title track, Gloryland
appears in two majestic versions. There are rare tracks from James and Tears For Fears, that Ole Ole Ole track, and oddities from Italy, Germany, and Mexico. Only the cliched inclusion of tracks from Tina Turner and Kool & The Gang (guess which) and the incongruous but obligatory Jon Bon Jovi spoil the atmosphere, but these can be skipped without difficulty. It's always the cheap ones that are the best...
Wednesday July 10
So on last night's BIG BROTHER there was Kate in her "eviction" "outfit" - a pair of tight jeans with horizontal rips and a small black sports bra and nothing else. Then fellow contestant Jade stripped naked, and I'm glad to be gay again.
Tuesday July 9
Today's news. Porn sites main cause of web abuse sackings, says report. Clouds main source of rain, says report.
Monday Mission. 2.27.
1. Have you had to repair anything lately? Did you do it yourself or have someone else do it?
Last thing I had to repair was the PC that's the subject of today's haiku, and it turned out to be far quicker to salvage the hard disk and RAM, and throw it into a case from which I'd stripped the disk previously. Slightly slower processor, slightly more RAM, should just about level out.
2. Do you work out or exercise? Or is there anything you do each day for your health?
You will find me walking to and from work each day. That's 1.75 miles each way. More if I visit the store on the way back.
3. Are you a modest person? That is, would you be embarrassed for someone (an acquaintance, a friend, a stranger) to see you nude?
Not hugely, though there's a tinge of self-consciousness.
4. Some smells that I just can not stand are bags of grass clippings that have sat in the hot sun for a few days, burned hair and vomit. What are some odours that you just can not stand to smell?
Curry powder, puke, and the smell of a car that's been cooking in direct sunlight all day.
5. Are there any social situations that make you uncomfortable?
Giving presentations to an audience of around a dozen is not good.
6. Has a friend or an employer ever asked you to do something you felt was unethical?
No, thankfully. I wouldn't want to cross that bridge.
PC comes in post
Wrapped in card, shredded paper
Metal bent and warped
Monday July 8
Nicked this idea from the first lady of cool things.
Weaver is the leading Crossword Puzzle Creator!
Weaver is a wonderful program!
Weaver is also a playwright, fiction writer, and freelance journalist
Weaver is doing well is when he gets outs early in the count
Weaver is designed to work with both the rapid changes of the world wide web and the diverse work styles of users
Weaver is so damn loyal
Weaver is now confident
Weaver is a multi-talented musician and comedian
Weaver is a professor of English
Weaver is the literal translation of her name, and a defining moniker
Weaver is almost awesome
Weaver is a poet of rare grace, power, and honesty
Weaver is an alumnus of the Music Academy of the West
Weaver is on vacation this week.
Weaver is a member of the board of directors of the Export-Import Bank of the United States
Weaver is married, the father of four children and has six grandchildren.
Weaver is simply trying to defend herself, and she holds the key to stopping the Wyrm
Weaver is a Supreme Court Justice for the State of Michigan
Weaver is trying really hard not to be gay
Weaver is an observer
Weaver is performing an original song
Adele makes her exit
Dignity is ruined by
booing of the gits.
New record review: There Goes The Fear. And a new download track: Cowboy, by One Of The Cuban Boys And That Bloke From Bus Stop. Imagine Glenn Campbell's "Rhinestone Cowboy" remade like DJ Otzi did "Hey Baby" and you're some way to imagining the schlock horror that is this tune. Utter crap, so probably a top 5 hit by the end of September.