Sunday June 9
Things are more than a little odd at the mo. Sleep is all askew, and I've a strange sensation that something very wrong indeed is brewing in the BIG BROTHER house, like it's all going to go terribly badly for the producers.
The strangest thing of all, though, is these recurring vivid dreams of coupling with some close friends. Even though that's *so* not going to happen. I know these people are totally unavailable for various reasons. Yet the dreams continue. I have a theory that this is the subconscious mind saying that I'm finally ready to commit again, to have serious relationships, not just unfulfilling one-week stands.
This is the way the cookie crumbles. Not with a bang, but crumb by crumb.
Speaking of BIG BROTHER, another of those small victories that add up. By foul means or otherwise, half the house is trying to subsist on a diet of hot air and lentil soup. The voice says, "Hey, wouldn't that be cool," then the brain says, "Er, no." One quick brainchat with BB later and voice is sent off to Coventry. Result.
(If the above makes no sense, tough. If it does, then I know who you are.)
Gemma Hayes' album "Night On My Side" is the sort of thing to listen to late on a warm summer's evening. First impressions are of a stark, pure vocal over quiet guitar. The subject matter will require further investigation, especially as the vocals are a very long way down in the mix, not unlike early REM.
Thursday June 6
I know the boss is in fear.
Scared that the new boss will find out
the levels of her incompetence
and how her procrastination
is failing to give us leadership.
Scared that her biological clock is going
tick
tick
tick
boom.
Scared that I know her weakness
and it's only manners
that prevents me from confronting her.
I can see that
she's unwell
and I can grow
to fill the void
and manage myself
and help other people
through her uselessness.
And when
she tries to throw her fear
onto me,
by giving that look,
I can shrug it off.
Her problems are her problems.
I am not her Big Brother.
No human is.
I cannot resolve her problems.
So I don't try.
The FRIENDS finale. Monica and Chandler in a hospital. We did this at the beginning of season 5, when Phoeble was having her triplets. Joey assumes a character, as he's been doing on and off since season 2. Rachel whines, as she's been doing since the beginning of season 1. Thankfully, salvation arrives from a familiar but most unexpected source. Saying what that source is would be a spoiler.
R Kelly has been arrested and charged with umming underage girls. Yadda yadda yadda. How come no one else has picked up the rumours that surrounded him and Aaliyah circa 1994, when she was 15. (At least according to the official age - other rumours, that she was actually three or four years older - have never been confirmed or denied.) Curious, that.
Leaked government emails show that The Party tried to find out the political leanings of a rail safety campaign group. The Prime Minister was forced to issue a grovelling apology after learning that the former aide to Stephen Byers inquired about the Paddington Survivors Group. Both Byers - who was resigned as transport bungler last week - and the Department of Transport have apologised to the group, acknowledging that the delving was inappropriate and should not have happened.
Pam Warren, the former chairwoman of the Paddington Survivors' Group who was badly burnt in the 1999 disaster and had to wear a surgical mask for several months to protect scar tissue, described it as "a very nasty and spiteful thing to do" and demanded an apology from Mr Blair. Shadow transport secretary Theresa May accused the Government of trying to smear the group, in order to discredit their claims that Byers misled Parliament over the timing of his decision to put Railtrack into administration.
Wednesday June 5
In common with every other pundit at the current World Cup, we may - inadvertently - have given the impression that we did not expect the US side to do very well.
Headlines such as "What A Load Of Old Cloggers," "The Opposition Will Run Up A Cricket Score," and "A Bunch Of Girlies Could Do Better" may have given the inaccurate impression that we believed the side would go down faster than a lead paperweight in a tub of water.
We're glad to set the record straight, and confirm we always knew that next week's match with Korea (South) would be for the group championship and a tie against Croatia, rather than to avoid the wooden spoon.
Copyright every newspaper all over the world.
Portugal 2, USA 3.
And Victoria Posh Spice Beckham-Aadams is dropped by her record company. Sense, at last!
Returning to Find Your Spot, and picking my top places in the whole US. 1) Fayetville, Arkansas About which I know nothing. 2) Portland, Oregon Where the pace of life is relaxed. 3) Brennan Vic's city Get your tattoos here. 4) Frederick, Maryland The only place named after a Play School presenter. 5) Salem, Oregon The only place named after a talking cat. 6) Santa Fe, New Mexico Where there are trains. 7) Medford, Oregon 8) Eugene, Oregon Where? 9) Hartford, Connecticut Home to the oldest dried fruit in the country. 10) Albuquerque, New Mexico. Where Mr Bunny must turn left. I'm more into places in the deep north east, for which the top 10 is: 1) Brennan Vic's city 2) Frederick, Maryland 3) Hartford, Connecticut 4) Gaithersburg, Maryland Home to a physics lab. 5) Danbury, Connecticut World centre of the bever hat. 6) Worcester, Massachusetts They brought courderoy to the country. 7) Elkins, West Virginia Home of the International Ramp Festival, apparently. Bring your own accessibility incline. 8) Baltimore, Maryland Home to the only baseball side named after an erogenous zone. 9) Providence, Rhode Island Home of Brown Uni and the not-so-well-known Providence Tea Party. Bring your own milk, sugar. 10) New Haven, Connecticut Home of Yale University and Goodyear. Especially for the roses.
Tuesday June 4
We like... World Cup Blog. A collective commentary on the unfolding events napkin in Korea. My tips, Costa Rica, beat Red China 2-0 today.
Monday June 3
Britain marks 50 years of the queen's reign. England football fans are spellcasting for success. These events are linked by flag waving. Some call it patriotism.
Patriotism: a belief in a country. The idea took control 200 years ago, reached its zenith in the wars of the Kaiser. Now, the nation falls away, replaced by multinational groupings. The European Union, NAFTA, the United Nations, all show the country is dying.
All that's left is the relic, the national figurehead. Queenie, your time is coming to an end. The sports teams are eclipsed by clubs far bigger than the national side. You all need to reinvent over the coming years.
Old style patriots, take note. Your time's limited. History will catch up with you.