Sunday May 12
TEST THE NATION was billed as the national IQ test on BBC1 last night. A couple of philosophical objections to this. One, a question that "intelligence tests" don't actually measure intelligence, merely the ability to perform "intelligence tests." In spite of the claims to scientific validation of their methodology, the persistant claim that questions were nothing to do with general knowledge was simply untrue. Co-host Anne Robinson called the question setter on one particularly egregious example: "Picasso is to Constable as bus is to..." [Train, Stagecoach, Artichoke, Rocket]. The "correct" answer was stagecoach, as Picasso was around at the time of the train, and Constable at the time of the stagecoach... I'm with Annie on this one.
And even if it were possible to agree upon a true measure, why should you wish to do so, and for what are you going to use the "score" once you've computed it? It brings to mind experiments in the 1920s and '30s, where social scientists set out to demonstrate that the brain of a black man was smaller, or less dense, or somesuch, than that of a white man.
After the results, co-host Gopherman Schofield put up a chart that translated the scores into a number. The broad scale is reasonable at discerning performance towards the middle of the bell curve; it fails to discriminate for those Smart Alecs who score more than about 60 on the 70 question quiz, and completely ignores those scoring less than 15. And in any single point sample of this kind, there will be a non-trivial experimental error.
Even worse was the extraordinary attention paid to results of 90,000 who took the test on the web. These are not a random sample of people: they're more likely to be highly educated, more likely to be affluent, and far more likely to be superliterate. For Gopherman to spend a half hour discussing how people in Northern Ireland scored a point higher than people in Scotland is grossly insignificant. This is well within the range of experimental error, and this result only applies to a self-selecting group of people who gave up an hour of their Saturday evening on this exercise.
Proof that the producers have absolutely zero grasp of basic stats came with the "football fans" section. Apparently, fans of Greenock Morton have an average IQ in the 120s, while fans of Burnley have an IQ near 80. This is quite possibly based on a random sample of one person. This proves nothing more than the following: at least one Greenock Morton fan is good at doing IQ tests, and at least one Burnely fan isn't. "Where are all the Premier League fans?" asked Gopherman. The law of Large Numbers applies: their scores will average out close to the population mean. They could also be coming back from celebrating the last day of the season...
Onwards... Last week, Ann Winterton got her marching orders from the Conservative shadow cabinet after telling a joke at a rugby club dinner that was both racist and unfunny. This morning, there was an article on Teletext suggesting a Peter Hain, a *Labour* minister, thought that Islamic immigration was a problem owing to that religion's refusal to accept liberal cultural norms and tended towards isolationism, leaving them vulnerable to racists and fundamental excess. By lunchtime, it had disappeared, replaced by a Labour claim that Graham Sampson, a Tory member of Wealden council in East Sussex, asserts "overwhelming" evidence that people of different races score differently on IQ tests. Actually, even the most cursory review of the article shows that this is a charge without foundation. Smokescreen, anyone? Of course, the original article can be construed as supporting racism, and supporting rape, and a rather interesting juxtaposition of race and sexual attractiveness. I couldn't support it in a month of Sundays.
Edit - 3-Nov-05. The local mirror, previously available here, has been withdrawn. I will not enter into any discussion on why I have done this.
An absolutely amazing Austrian grand prix. Cars spinning off left, right and centre; a heart-stopping moment as there's one of the worst crashes we've seen in a long time, but everyone involved is fine; and then a thrilling denoument. Reubens Barichello totally dominates the whole meeting, taking pole position, leading right the way through the race, until - literally - the last fifty metres. Barichello's team-mate Michael Schumacher is a mile ahead in the season-long championship, and was clearly outclassed this weekend. He's running in second place, and team orders are clearly given for Reubens to move aside, and allow Michael through. He takes the win by less than a car's length, a gesture that leaves the crowd in Austria no option but to boo, hiss, and jeer at the unsportsmanlike gesture. Insult is added to injury when team boss Ross Brawn said "We've done it to protect Michael's standing in the championship ... The crowd knows that Reubens won ... they have no objection." Brawn is clearly deaf as well as astoundingly arrogant. Further insult is piled on when Schu "gracefully" allows Rube to take #1 slot on the podium. That's not how the history books will reflect this race.
Formula One racing has been having more than its share of problems lately: the races have become processional, and the gap between the front and the back of the grid is almost unbridgeable. This farce brings the sport into total and utter disrepute. Neither driver claims they wanted to do it, yet it still happened. Sanctions? Disqualify Schu from the race entirely; strip Ferrari from entry in the constructor's championship; make their drivers compete from places 21 and 22 for the rest of the season.
Saturday May 11
Confirmation that Celine Dion crashes computers. Were a Mac user (who are, in modern literary convention, The Good Guys) to attempt to play a bad record, this would happen... You may be unable to eject certain copy-protected audio discs, which resemble Compact Discs (CD) but technically are not.
MacWeb goes on to list other copy protected disks, so you don't accidentally buy them, and names the terrorist outfit Fony as a company that makes these wastes of space.
The following discs are known to use the copy protection:
Shakira: "Laundry Service"
Jennifer Lopez: "J To Tha L-O!"
Celine Dion: "A New Day Has Come"
These people resemble musicians but technically are not.
oblink: Celine Dion. Gotta love a good Googlebomb.
Camilla Parker-Horse delivers a speech in public. This is not news, unless you're watching the BBC. There, the distant relative of Judith Keppel (Millionaire) is coyly described as "Prince Charles' companion." Perhaps a more accurate description would be his mistress, his kept woman, his tart, his floozy, his whore.
Friday May 10
Logica, the company that briefly employed me during the height of the dotcom boom after going on quite the acquisition spree, announces it's getting rid of 10% of its workfarce. The company has seen its share price slump from £21 to slightly over £2 since dispensing with my services, and today warned of flat revenues. If you wilfully refuse to find a place for your best talent, that's the kind of thing that happens...
Thursday May 9
Cripes, Buffy is steamy tonight. Two lesbian kisses and one use of the word "bastard" before the first commercial break. Though they rather missed a running gag about Anya boring the pants off everyone having to listen to her whine on and on and on and on and on...
In the world of 17
, Willow must be a good kid. She uses a Mac, not a PC. She also uses her computer with no clothes on. This does not have any relevance to the serial drama starring Keith O'Sutherland.
Stake him, you wimp! Get out your little pointy thing and stake him!
That's all very dramatic, but seems to require complete ignorance of basic ballistics. Oh, hang on, this is aimed at the US market, where guns have a life of their own, independent of people.
John Prescott, wearing his hard had as Minister for the Regions, finally gets to unveil his Stonking Big Idea. Regional parliaments for the English regions. This addresses a democratic deficit, and helps to pull power away from the obsessive centralisers at Whitehall. It does replace the existing shire counties, but they will live on in their constituent districts. I can think of far worse ideas. Dammit, am I giving Bruiser's ideas a good review? I must be going doo lally.
Tuesday May 7
Well, the French have taken care of their Muslim hating extreme right winger who polls 18%. The Dutch have taken care of their Muslim hating extreme right winger who threatened to poll 30%. Will the United Stations take care of *their* Muslim hating extreme right winger who is polling (er) 75%. Thank %deity% none of them wield any power.
VH1:US has unveiled a list of "one hit wonders". The biggest wonder is who compiled this chart. Let's look at the big top ten.
10. Nena / "99 LUFTBALLONS" Yep, one hit in 1984, and then nada. 9. Gerardo / "RICO SUAVE" Hmm. This would be the sort of no-hit wonder. 8. A-Ha / "TAKE ON ME" No right! Morton, Pål and Mags had hits from 85 to 93, and are top 20 across much of Europe right now. They're more of a B- list Big 80s Act. 7. Vanilla Ice / "ICE ICE BABY" This would be the one-hit-too-many wonder. 6. Baha Men / "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT" I don't think we've seen the last of these guys yet... 5. Toni Basil / "MICKEY" Gone, best forgotten. 4. Right Said Fred / "I'M TOO SEXY" Another act doing big things in Europe right now. 3. Dexy's Midnight Runners / "COME ON EILEEN" This was their second #1 hit! 2. Soft Cell / "TAINTED LOVE" Four top three hits and a successful solo career for Almond... 1. Los Del Rio / "MACARENA" Not wrong there. Phew.
Lower down the list, we find Gary Numan (whose music is currently top 5 in the UK), the Cardigans (five top 20 hits), the Verve (never off the radio in 97-8), Spandau Ballet (!), and Faith No More (who only split a couple of years ago.) Good to see recognition for Jane Child, St Edwyn Collins, the New Radicals (Gregg Alexander is no one hit wonder!) and Chumbawumba. Prescott, the bucket!
Monday May 6
How's this for serendipity? Last week, I suggested that someone should cover Brian McKnight's only-in-America hit Back At One
, coz it's simply brilliant. This week, the tracklisting for Lulu's forthcoming duets album drops through the mailbox. Along with classics "Relight My Fire" (with Take That) and "I'm Back For More" (with Bobby Womack) it includes:
Back At One - Lulu and Westlife
There's also a version of "We've Got Tonight" with Ronan Cheating. Hopefully the Irish karaoke stars will be well down on backing vocals on both versions. No re-release for Where The Poor Boys Dance
, a record that was criminally ignored on first release two years ago.
Bit of a red letter day for the extreme right wing in Europe. Yesterday, M Le Pen lost the French Presidential election, 80-20, to incumbent Jacques Chirac. He has profited from two weeks of vigorous national exposure, but there's a hope that this will be the high water mark for his Front National party.
Today, Netherlands far right leader Pim Fortuijn is shot dead outside a radio studio in Hilversum. National elections are scheduled for the 14th, and Fortuijn's far right grouping was expected to make a significant impact, possibly becoming the biggest single grouping in the parliament. I can't help but feel that this has given the extreme right the martyr they needed in the Europe, allowing a rallying point and an icon around which the xenophobic can rally. Hmm. Maybe that's what they want. It's totally idle speculation, and I have no evidence whatsoever, but this just might turn out to be an inside job, like last autumn's anthrax attacks on / by the US.
This story was the first chance to see what the new BBC News 24 graphics (revision 2.1) are like in a crisis. "Rubbish" is the approximate word. We have a huge space (enough for two lines of text) blacked out at the bottom of the screen; then the clock and a couple lines of text describing the story. Above that a bright red bar, alternating between "BREAKING NEWS" and "THE STORY'S HEADLINE" in ugly shouty white letters. Above *that* we have the correspondent's name and location. The total comes to just about half the screen taken up with a lot of very ugly clutter. Before last week, the headline was far smaller and neater, running on the line above the clock. The correspondent and details alternated to the right of the clock and on the line below. Auntie, you *must* do better. I'm not a fan of CNN's scrolling ticker, but the two-line captions immediately above and leading into the bug at the bottom right is far more classy.
Another bank holiday, and VH1 claims to show all the Number One singles from 1990 to today. I join them just before 9am, in late 1996. They're playing them in chronological order, and I'd forgotten just how many wonderful records were around at that time. Yes, even a decent record from Boyzone. Sadly, the chronology was broken in September 97, and the computer just played out tracks at random for the rest of the day, looping at random during the past four or five years. A real disappointment - this is the sort of thing MTV does, and does that bit better.