Week 5, 1 June 1997.

Well, wasn't that a good football game last night. Those who saw it through Channel Five's squinting figures, that is...

Defending champions John and Oengus are tired, and haggard, and playing tonight in Bracknell. They tell Paul to keep taking the medicine, but he's driving through a large puddle of water. Show off!

New players Pat Davis and Joan Warburton are in Sheffield. They're both from Manchester, married to Tony (35), two kids, and dogs. They have nothing in common. On their trail this week, Sarah Odell, who reckons they love their early morning starts. Pat's the redhead.

Also new, Victoria and Charlotte Charles, and they're playing in Swansea. Victoria's the one on the left. They're being tracked by Big Bad John McMahon. John isn't actually on the ground, he's in a chopper./p>

Ray launches a quick phone in poll to find which of four pairs of runners should be next to go. Darren and Adrian, Hannah and Amy, David and Deborah, or two other gents? You decide.

So, to business. Victoria and Charlotte were to sing the national anthem of someone from foreign parts, outside a tourist office. They start in Devon, and make a very nice holiday video, and recharge their batteries. They abort a meeting in Totnes, but have a masterplan for Wednesday. They head to Oxford, but the tourist office is closed. "We're stupid blonde bimbos."

In a move of devilish cunning, they return the following morning and sing the Kiwi anthem. But the TIC's manager is on John's side, so they really need to run and hide. Not wait in the cafe. "We've got a female version of Steve and Phil here, Victoria." John checks into the same hotel, and beats them to Swansea. The girls failed to attempt their task today, so they're playing for the grand non-total of 0.

It's a first, they're playing for no pounds, if they survive they win nothing. But if they get caught, they could lose the lot!!! 200,000 people, and the majority of 295 phone boxes in the city centre. The angle of the sun suggests they're on a north-south road, probably in a built-up area. Their plan: head into the city, as the girls would have been no more than 30 minutes walk from their hotel. One problem for the trackers: WANTED airs 30 minutes later in that part of Wales, so the public won't help until 7.

Oengus and John are in Bracknell / Aldershot. 133,000 people, 101 phone boxes, but they're widely scattered. Paul spots that the camera is pointing to the back of the phone box, most unusual. Paul's plan is "Fzz buzz woke up this morning phut." Paul has no luck on his lines.

Joan and Pat are in Sheffield, 560,000 people, 576 phone boxes, and pretty much the whole town in one square. Matt Randall sees some grass in the background, perhaps they're near a park. Sarah's plan is to break up and go very snowy.

The ladies' task was to valet a luxury car each day. That's car. Not, as they did on Monday, a boat. They do well on Tuesday in Birkenhead, while Sarah has her jeep cleaned in Manchester. Sarah creeps behind them and catches them on film on Wednesday. Up to Windermere on Thursday, so it's got to be Carlisle tomorrow. Sarah spies them at Carlisle, and films something. We can't see it's Pat and Joan, but they don't know that, and berate the train guard. In spite of some silly hats, they succeeded yesterday in Sunderland, failed today, so they're going for 3000.

Where will the money go? Valeted car, and a holiday. How's Matt doing? Still working on the "they're in a park" theory. There's an unconfirmed lead near a cemetary in Pittsmoor. Sarah is on the canal towpath, no more than 1km from their lead.

Back to Swansea, where Victoria and Charlotte have some company. Ray's brought in some expert runners, Phil and Steve, who tell the ladies everything they know. Seven seconds later, they leave the phone box. Victoria has spotted how no car has gone past them since the programme began, putting them in a very quiet area.

Oengus and John are feeling "very unconfident." Someone has just driven past with a mobile and is shopping them. Andy had a lead at Ashurst, down in the bottom of the square, but now has a lead up in Bracknell town, at the far north. Lovelace Road appears to be the place.

Now, how come no-one's been caught? Call 0990 200 600. Please. This could be a little dull.

In Swansea, Victoria's waiting for help from the public. John has no idea, and doesn't understand Welsh. Ray points out that - blimey - Victoria and Charlotte have done something right for once!

Sarah's five minutes from Pittsmoor Cemetry, and then offers Gad's Valley.

Oengus and John may be inside the Royal Military Academy outside Sandhurst. Paul doesn't think so, especially as the shady military guy won't let him in. Their task: collect honey, and take tea and honey sandwiches with the WI. A quick-thinking vicar gave the gents the Beekeepers Annual, which points them to Leamington, then down to Oxfordshire, but Paul's got no ideas. They go back up to Cheshire, but the chain shatters on Thursday. They're stung for a task, and Oengus is a little depressed. Paul's nowhere near them, but bounces back in Richmond the following day. Paul gets fed a false lead, leaves, and lets them finish off.

Success on Saturday, and honey but no WI today, so they're playing for another 5000. Andy reckons they're up on an industrial estate in Bracknell, 6km away, with less than three minutes in the game.

In Swansea, they're looking at Penrhyn Terrace, right where John is. It's empty.

Sarah in Sheffield is charging through a park, look for the road going through the centre of the park. Paul's got 4.5km to go, and he'd better not say that on national television.

No one's been caught. Victoria was miles out: they were up near Morris, 5km out of the city, and John's been confined to the city centre. So Victoria and Charlotte have won nothing, but they are running for next week.

Joan and Pat were in the other park, down on Devonish and West, to the south east of the city. Sarah was about 2km away.

And John and Oengus were right where Paul and Andy put them, in Lovelace Road. The false leads in the south of the square were their undoing. Paul was 2.7km away when the siren went.

All of the potential runners are still in the studio, but they'll be back next week. The show's over, but the game never stops.

Out there... On a trip to Europe, President Clinton meets Wim, the Dutch PM ... that's this week's Kok and Bill story ... In World Cup qualifiers, England beats Poland 2-0, and guarantees at least a play-off in the autumn... Oaklahoma trio Hanson turn their debut single into an instant number one.

last ... all ... next