In domestic football, Gareth Southgate has been sacked as Middlesbrough manager. After leading his team to relegation last year, Southgate had made a dismal start in the lower division, where they currently stand in 4th place, deep in the promotion play-off battle. The final straw for the team owners was a humiliating 2:0 win at Derby. The coach of the Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Swamp Dwellers is still in place, his side has lost four times this year to give opponents their first win.
Which brings us to 200%'s reminisce about Shoot!
, the local football show for the Tyne Tees region.
35.3 Scunthorpe 2 Newcastle 1 33.1 Westbrom 0 Swansea 1The European League 'n' Cup Thingummy
Group A Timisoara 0-0 Anderlecht Ajax 2-1 Dinamo Zagreb ajx 5 and 5 dza 3 tim 2 Group B Valencia 1-1 Slavia Prague [slp 17.9] Lille 3-0 Genoa lil 7 val 5 gna 3 slp 1 Group C Celtic 0-1 Hamburger SV Hapoel Tel-Aviv 5-1 Rapid Wien ham 6 hta 6 rap 4 cel 1After a stuttering start, Group A is going to plan, with Ajax seizing control with a good performance in one of the televised matches. Lille's win means that Genoa have an uphill task to qualify, while Celtic can almost concentrate on the league already - they'll need something from the return fixture in Hamburg.
Group D Ventspils 1-2 Sporting CP Hertha Berlin 0-1 Heerenveen sls 9 hee 4 ven 2 her 1 Group E Fulham 1-1 Roma CSKA Sofia 0-2 Basel bas 6 ful 5 rom 4 csk 1 Group F Galatasaray 4-1 Dinamo Bucharest Panathanaikos 1-0 Sturm Graz gal 7 pan 6 dib 3 grz 1Sporting should go through from group D without much further argument: a draw against Ventspils will take them through, assuming Hertha don't beat Heerenveen, and that's not much of an ask. Roma's late equaliser at the Craven Cottage might have saved their bacon, and Group F looks to have broken in favour of the big sides.
Group G Salzburg 1-0 Levski Sofia Lazio 2-1 Villarreal slz 9 laz 6 vil 3 lsf 0 Group H FC Sheriff 2-0 Twente [53.9] Steaua Bucharest 0-1 Fenerbahce fen 6 tir 4 twe 4 ste 2 Group I BATE Borisov 2-1 AEK Athens [38.9] Benfica 5-0 Everton [38.3] ben 6 eve 6 bat 3 aek 3It's hard to see how Salzburg won't claim a big scalp from here, and the opening day win at Lazio might prove the Italians' undoing. Sheriff's win has set the cat amongst the pigeons for Twente, and has completely broken the Upset-o-meter. Benfica's trouncing of Everton should ensure they take head-to-head rights in a group where home advantage trounced favouritism.
Group J Shakhtar Donetsk 4-0 Toulouse Club Bruges 2-0 Partizan Belgrade sha 9 brg 4 tou 4 pbg 0 Group K PSV Eindhoven 1-0 FC Copenhagen Sparta Prague 2-0 CFR Cluj psv 7 cop 6 prg 4 clj 0 Group L Austria Wien 2-2 Werder Bremen [awi 28.8] Athletico Bilbao 2-1 Nacional wer 7 abl 6 awi 2 nfn 1Shakhtar's defence of their title continues, they'll qualify with a win in Toulouse next time out. PSV have a good win against the Group K pace-setters, and Group L looks like it's going exactly to plan.
The UFL: Week 3
A made-for-television football competition that we can't actually watch? That's got to be the Unseen Football League. Yes, as Mr. Chris points out viewers in other countries can see all the matches on the Outdoor Life Network, vying for screen-time with the National Hurling League. Here in Britain, the mouth-watering match between Real Madrid and AC Berlusconi was covered ... by press photographs only. There were no moving picture highlights on television, anywhere. UEFA claims that its UFL is the greatest club football product anywhere on the planet. We disagree, because we cannot see it to test that claim. If a goal is scored in the forest, but no-one is there to see it, does it still cross the line?
Group Eeeh who cares? Debrecen 3:4 Fiorentina Liverpool 1:2 Lyon lyn 9 fio 6 liv 3 deb 0 Group what's the Effin point? Barcelona 1:2 Rubin Kazan [37.3] Internazionale 2:2 Dinamo Kiev bar 4 kyv 4 rkz 4 int 3 Group Gee who cares? Rangers 1:4 Unirea Urziceni [30.2] Stuttgart 1:3 Seville sev 9 uni 4 stt 2 ran 1 Group Huuuh AZ Alkmaar 1:1 Arsenal [AZ 19.2] Olympiakos 2:1 Standard Liege anl 7 oly 6 aza 2 lie 1If we're to believe these matches actually exist, it's the fourth loss in a row for the Liverpool Stadiennes. Far greater in the scheme of things is Rubin's victory at Barcelona, leaving their group tighter than a gnat's crotchet. Rangers' latest defeat really shows they're not up to the challenge, and it's a mercy that no-one actually saw how rubbish they are. Arsenal conceded a late equaliser to come away looking like wallies themselves. Bit of a rubbish night for the Brits, eh?
Group Eh is there a match on? Bordeaux 2:1 Bayern Munich Juventus 1:0 Maccabi Haifa bdx 7 jve 5 bay 4 mha 0 Group Beeeeeeep CSKA Moskow 0:1 Manchester B Wolfsburg 0:0 Besiktas mun 9 wlf 4 csk 3 bes 1 Group Can't See It Real Madrid 2:3 AC Berlusconi [35.6] Zurich FC 0:1 Marseille acm 6 rmd 6 mar 3 zur 3 Group Dee-crepit Porto 2:1 Apoel Nicosia Chelsea 4:0 Atletico Madrid che 9 pto 6 apn 1 amd 1And in this lot, Real's defeat is the only result to raise attention above meh-levels.
More meaningful domestic competiton next week-end.
