The Snow In The Summer or So-So

The Snow In The Summer or So-So

Wed 08 Mar 2006

More from them upstairs

"A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side." - Aristotle 384-322 BC.

A slightly more modern commentator, Terry Jones, has also been in correspondence with The GOD Organisation regarding Mister Tony Blair's spiritual claims. Mr Jones states,

Sources close to the archangel Gabriel report him as describing the Almighty as "hopping mad ... with sanctimonious yet unscrupulous politicians claiming He would condone their bestial activities when He has no way of going public Himself, owing to the [Moves in Mysterious Ways] agreement"

"Oh us, not again," said The GOD Organisation's spokesdeity, the impishly fun Loki. "Gabriel is known in these parts as a bit of a loose cannon, not someone to be trusted with anything important. We remember the April Fool's joke he played on a young lady in Nazareth a millennium or two ago, something about bearing the son of a god. Got us into terrible trouble that did, and Mithras has never forgiven him for stealing all his followers. And you don't want to go around offending gods, do you.

"I mean, Gabriel gives a good quote, don't get me wrong. But he does tend to misrepresent people. Stuff like If he'd done it on Richard and Judy I could have forgiven a lot. That's just bunk; everyone knows that Christian-deity always watches Blue Peter. Never bothered to get the badge, though...

"No, don't trust anything that Gabriel says. Not without a second source. Quite frankly, the only time we like to see him up here is when he's drunk as a skunk and doing that funky little dance on the head of a pin. He's really cute when he does that."

While I've got you on the line, what about this quote attributed to Mister Blair?

If you have faith about these things, then you realise that judgment is made by other people. If you believe in God, it's made by God as well.

"As I know you know, The GOD Organisation is not in the business of judging people. We welcome all sorts of thinking organisms, and organisms that try to think, and politicians as well. We don't do the judgement, we just provide the tools for people to review their own actions and complete a feedback loop so that objectives can be quantified, then prioritised for future incarnations."

You're beginning to sound like a character from Dilbert there.

"Rumbled! Heck, a deity's got to do something to pass the time. It's not all smiting and throwing thunderbolts, you know..."

posted 08 Mar 2006, 19.53 +0000


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