The sister got the new Doctor Who board game from Marx Ensparks, and insisted that we play-test it. Very odd beast - the object is to collect six coloured cards, then make your way to a designated finish square. Getting in the way are six daleks, which are moved by the previous player in the rotation. There are also forfeits and bonuses awarded by the game's gimmick, a talking TARDIS.

On paper, it sounds good. In practice, not so. The instructions are confusing, and I think we collectively misunderstood at least one of the rules. Moves are determined by a spinner, which indicates numbers for the dalek and player. A die would have been better, all considered. The game was made frustrating by no-one being able to land on the orange spaces for half-an-hour, which gradually moved from unfortunate to irritating. The deadlock was eventually resolved by a (literal) deus ex machina.

Overall, it's a rather dull and unimaginative game, with too much picking of cards from other people's hands. It's probably worth buying to keep sealed in its original box, then flog it for hundreds of quid in ten years' time. Ninety minutes for four people to play.

Lowlight of the day would be mother's cookery, which turned out to be a glorified casserole. If i wanted one of those, I'd have gone down to Big C, where they produce casseroles that aren't bland and textureless.

Highllight would be the episode of Gilmore Girls, 3.15, where Richard's mother has her meeting, and Rory goes to the ice-hockey game. In a comparison that's going to go over almost all your heads, does Charles Gilmore owe something to a mellower Robin Day? And is there anything better than sitting down to a box of biscuits and four generations of fun?

Prezzies included a new Handy handset (those of you who have my number, it works again), Rob Eastaway's new book (my parents will buy me anything from the Puzzle Panel regulars), and a new overnight bag. And not a pair of socks in sight.

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posted 26 Dec 2005, 15.58 +0000

Media Network reports about Don Safkow, a man who has clearly spent too long in the sun. He's going to get rid of his television, radio, and try to spend 2006 subsisting on nothing but podcasts. I give him thirteen days...

Narnia as a pagan allegory: How CS Lewis celebrated Dionysius. And didn't beat about the bush.

And speaking of beating around the bush, the august and sober Barron's magazine makes a surprising declaration. Change the law, or get out of office. I can't back this call, but only because calling for impeachment would add legitimacy to an unelected fraudster.

The convicted terrorist Peter Hain is annoyed that the Tories are opposing Labour's amnesty to some terrorists. We're entitled to opposition support," pouted Mr Hain, before stamping his little feet and threatening to take his ball home. Mr Hain wants to push through complete forgiveness for on-the-run bombers who did their dirty deeds before April 1998. They won't have to appear in court, they won't have to acknowledge their crimes. The Conservatives might wish to point to South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission, which offered an amnesty from prosecution to people who told the complete truth about their part in that country's civil war. But Mr Hain doesn't like to be reminded about South Africa, because he led the small group of renegades who stopped the South African cricket tour in 1970, and was convicted of various public order offences. Under the laws that his party has passed, this would be a terrorist act.

The New Amsterdam Times wakes up to the fact that Deal or No Deal is a game show about probabilities. What did they expect it to be about, men in overgrown pink-and-yellow rubber suits? (Reads the bit about "the players on the American show are hysterics. They scream and jump around, tearfully consulting with loved ones who are ceremoniously called to the stage.") Hmm. Bring back Blobby, at least he's paid to make a fool of himself.

Brem on Lauren Laverne. Well, at least metaphorically. One of them's married, you know. And not to the other.

Some thoughts on this year's King William's College Quiz. 5 seems to be about "St" or saints; 9 looks like wine; 11 is obviously Popes; 15 is entertaining; 17 shares a name.

Back to Deal, and an interesting note from Mark Evanier: "I think it's weird that NBC has one reality show [Survivor] where the contestants are expected to eat rat testicles but they also have two -- this and Mr. Trump's Apprentice -- where the stars are terrified of germs."

Anyway, inspired by Deal, I have been working on my utility curve, and will compare my bail-out point to that of the contestants on the show. I'll play the game twice - once as if I were in the studio, then again by taking the first offer that's above the point on my Utility Quintic. Results for the last few days:

I'll come back to this analysis later in the week.

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posted 26 Dec 2005, 18.59 +0000

The first of quite a few articles running down the biggest hits in the countries of Northern Europe this year. Unless specified otherwise, I'm using the top 20 sales chart from each country, and awarding 20 points for a week at number one, down to 1 point for a week at number 20.

Finland

First on the list is Finland, the country with the fastest turnover of singles. It's not unusual for half the top 20 to be new entries, and four weeks on the chart is quite remarkable. The year-end top 20 is headed by Pelmies, a curious mix of modern dance beats and traditional folk songs; it's been on the list for over half the year, an amazing achievement. Second place is taken by Taivas lyö tulta, a more traditional Finnish heavy metal song. That's also the style of Pahempi toistaan in third place, and In your face in fourth. All my life I must confess to not having heard. Here's the Top 20 in full:

1. Pelimies - Martti Vainaa
2. Taivas lyo tulta - Terasbetoni
3. Pahempi toistaan - Apulanta
4. In your face - Children of Bodom
5. All my life - Technicolour
6. Axel F - Crazy Frog
7. Perhonen - Jane
8. Bittersweet - Apocalyptica
9. Pohjoista viljaa - Viikate
10. My my hey hey - Negative
11. Wings of a butterfly - HIM
12. Sleeping sun - Nightwish
13. Armo - Apulanta
14. Tyhja huone - Antti Tuisku
15. Mina en tieda mitaan - Yup
16. Kaikki mita ma annoin - Uniklubi
17. Hung up - Madonna
18. Musta leski - Dingo
19. The hjarta & smarta ep - Kent
20. Yhden enkelin unelma - Tarja Turunen

Top overseas "star" is Sweden's Crazy Frog at position 6, while the biggest exports - HIM and Nightwish both place just outside the top 10. The Rasmus came in at 24.

Lithuania

A trip across the Baltic and down a bit brings us to Lithuania, where there is - as yet - no official sales chart. Instead, I've used the playlist chart of Vilnius's M-1 radio station, as it seems to be the largest station.

Some more familiar names there - the Jayz / Linkin Park mixup was rather large here late last year, and we've not been able to escape Green Dull or Twopac. Nebijok is one of only four hits by Lithuanians, it's a rather good love song. Shakira's record never came out in the UK, I suspect we'll be seeing it again in at least one national list. Linas and Hokshila are the other local hit-makers, as are Skamp, the national representative at the 2001 Eurovision song contest. Latvia's entry ends up in position 6, and Moldova's drum-bashing granny found position 32. Two records by Bert Bills, two by Depeche Mode show the pro-western bias of M-1.

1. Numb/Encore - Jayz & Linkin Park
2. Nebijok - Jurga
3. Wake me up when this dull song ends - Green Day
4. La tortura - Shakira
5. Ghetto gospel - 2pac
6. The war is not over - Valters un Kaza
7. You're beautiful - James Blunt
8. Lonely - Akon
9. The sound of st. francisville - Global Deejays
10. Don't lie - Black Eyed Peas
11. Enjoy the silence - Depeche Mode
12. I love you - Linas
13. No fear - The Rasmus
14. Don't phunk with my heart - Black Eyed Peas
15. She will be loved - Maroon 5
16. Pasaulis Grazus - Hokshila & B J Fighters
17. Misunderstood - Bert Bills
18. Tripping - Bert Bills
19. L'attente - Skamp
20. Precious - Depeche Mode

To-morrow, the final countdown from the Netherlands and France.

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posted 27 Dec 2005, 15.07 +0000

Up yours, Tony! The revising chamber is set to lob a hand-grenade into the identity register bill, by the simple expedient of not making them mandatory. The story also talks about Labour plans to recall all driving licenses, on the pretext that some of them might be forged.

Here's something very nifty - build your own PDF timetables. Sadly, it's only for those places cursed with a Southern Railways "service", and I've not (yet) worked out a way to hack it for the rest of the country.

The death of Kerry Packer, the man who invented the World Series. Though the test matches between Australia and the Rest of the World lasted only a couple of years, Mr Packer's revolution included coloured shirts, day-night matches, and forcing national cricket boards to give their players a decent wage. They're still not as well paid as other sports people, but it's not the poverty wages of the 70s.

How to annoy at Monopoly. No-one mentioned my trick - as the non-playing banker, fine people 10 or 20 quid for "delay of game".

Radio 3 may have bored the pants off everyone with their Bach marathon, but they're not going to pull the same trick for Mozart, even if it is the 250th anniversary of his birth next year. "Too chocolate-boxey", said a spokesjacket, nonsensically. "Too much like the sort of thing Classic FM would try", more like.

There's no terrorist conspiracy against London, says Mr Mayor Kenlivingstone. Mr Mayor claimed that there had been eleven attempts to plant bombs in the UK's political capital, of which only one succeeded.

Highlights of the telly and radio lately:

• Juliet Turner In Concert (RTE Radio, 10.05 yesterday) A talented singer-songwriter put in a sterling performance. Slightly let down by RTE being on squeaky old long wave, and by the obvious edits during the performance.
• The Marx Brothers On Radio (Radio 4, 11.30am) The one surviving performance of Harpo and Groucho in Flywheel, Shyster, and Flywheel. It's classic comedy, almost up to the standards set by uncle Karl. And kudos to the team behind the 1990s BBC revival for getting the voices spot-on.
• The Wonderful World of Whiteley (C4, 3.25) An affectionate tribute to the king of tea-time. Anyone got Barry Cryer's poem in full?
• The Jokers - Bob Monkhouse (Saga East Midlands, 5pm) A tribute to the leading entertainer, almost two years after his death. Not as good as a pure performance, but very few things are.

Things we don't expect to see during December: a rainbow. But with sun behind me, and sleet falling a mile or so in the distance, why not?

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posted 27 Dec 2005, 18.33 +0000

Mystic Mug writes: Hullo, Snow in the Summer readers. Some of you may not be aware of Mystic Mug's Prediction Competition, which was a remarkable hit this year. I'm running the contest again in 2006, with full entry details here.

Those of you with Livejournal accounts can use the poll there. Anyone can drop me an email. Just send it to the address at the foot of each page, and it'll reach me. But be quick, the closing date for entries is 6pm UK time next Wednesday, 4 January.

Good luck!

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posted 28 Dec 2005, 11.30 +0000

Onwards and upwards, with two sizable countries. France will follow, but first:

Netherlands

Local talent had the biggest hit of the year, and a similarly wistful ballad filled second place. Watskeburt is far more interesting, a six-minute epic that sounds like Emma Nem when she's being intelligible. Bert Bills and Sharkira round out the top five. There's a lot of British influence, a lot of R&B, and a lot of schlock ballads. Racoon certainly falls into the latter category, while Lange Frans is the same sort of entertaining rap as Watskeburt. Alarmingly, there are two versions of That Crocodile in the top 20 - the original at number 15, and a cheap copy just two places lower. On the upside, the records just outside the top 20 are Mariah Cantsing and The Annoying Thing, so they were doing something right!

1. Geef mij je angst - Guus Meeuwis
2. You're beautiful - James Blunt
3. Watskeburt - De Jeugd van Tegenwoordig
4. Tripping - Bert Bills
5. La tortura - Shakira
6. Lonely - Akon
7. Love you more - Racoon
8. Push the button - Sugababes
9. Het land van - Lange Frans & Baas B
10. Girl - Anouk
11. Love generation - Bob Sinclar
12. Hung up - Madonna
13. Nine million bicycles - Katie Meluaargh
14. Bad day - Daniel Powter
15. Schnappi - Schnappi
16. Leipe mocro flavour - Ali B
17. De kleine Krokodil - Snappie
18. Don't you - Pussycat Dolls
19. Don't phunk with my heart - Black Eyed Peas
20. One two three - Chipz

France

France is perhaps the home for really, really annoying records. Ilona Mitrecey is an 11-year-old lass, who performed relentlessly upbeat and cheerful songs about being 11. "A perfect world" and "It's the holidays" are perhaps the most ear-wiggingly awful tunes since the hey-day of Black Lace. The Annoying Thing also places two into the top 10, and Pinocchio is a knock-off of Ms Mitrecey and Schnappi.

There is something decent out there: top proper songs were from Sinsemilia and Dezil, both showing a reggae beat, one that also influenced Raphael's acoustic track. Chimene Badi had the chanson song of the year, and another Star Acadamey alumna, Amel Bent, delivered a power-pop tune into the top ten. Lower down, comedian Jean Dujardin and trance instrumentalists Mister Cosmic had big hits. Perhaps the strangest record is the one at the bottom of the top 20, the Maunier brothers demonstrated their vocal range over a slight drumbeat. I still expect Classic FM to pick up on this track.

Johnny Hallyday's had two big hits this year, including the yuletide number one, but just misses the top 20. Two singles also for the Star Academy 5 cast, and they put both into the top 40.

1. Un monde parfait - Ilona Mitrecey
2. Axel f - Crazy Frog
3. Tout le bonheur du monde - Sinsemilia
4. T'es pas cap pinocchio - Pinocchio
5. San ou (la riviere) - Dezil
6. Je viens du sud - Chimene Badi
7. Caravane - Raphael
8. Popcorn - Crazy Frog
9. Ma philisophie - Amel Bent
10. C'est les vacances - Ilona Mitrecey
11. Le casse de brice - Jean Dujardin
12. Space soap - Mister Cosmic
13. Lonely - Akon
14. Petite soeur - Laam
15. Call on me - Eric Prydz
16. Ecris l'histoire - Gregory Lemarchal
17. La tortura - Shakira
18. Mutoto - Booka
19. Get right - Jennifer Lopez
20. Concerto pour deux voix -
          Clemence & Jean-Baptiste Maunier

Next up, these two charts collide, with the French and Dutch charts from Belgium.

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posted 28 Dec 2005, 12.20 +0000

David Cameron has been spending some time at the Church of St Bob and St Bono, and he's invited St Bob Geldof to join his Review on Globalisation and Global Poverty. St Bob is the millionaire Irish punk rocker who has built his recent career on a series of well-meaning, high-profile, but ultimately futile gestures. His genius ideas include "wearing a white band will stop poverty", "sucking up to Tony Blair will help change things", and "having Dizzy Rascal rap on a song will help his career."

St Bob has agreed to help out on a non-partisan basis, as he also lent his support to Mister Tony Blair's "Talking Shop For Africa" gabfest earlier in the year. Though I have serious reservations about St Bob's glib approach to the problem, and the way he blames the west for everything, having the most famous poverty activist working for you is a massive publicity coup. Yet again, St Bob's being used. Serves him right.

I wouldn't normally point out PR-puff pieces, but Blog Pulse's Year In Revue deserves a lot of criticism. Two reasons. 1. The footer appears immediately below the menu on the left, and obscures some of the information. This sort of design should be covered in a load of Kilroy. 2. Football = Soccer for the vast majority of the interweb. It's only a few smart-arse colonials trying (and failing) to assert their independence who pretend NFLball and NCAAball are "football".

Don't forget, there will be a leap-second inserted just before midnight GMT on Saturday evening. The clocks will roll 11.59:58, 11.59:59, 11.59:60, 12.00:00. This extra second will ensure that clocks keep pace with the slow rotation of the earth. It keeps Greenwich Mean Time as Greenwich Mean Time, and not Six Inches East of Greenwich Mean Time. That's except for trains on Britain's railways, as the midnight arrival at Greenwich will still be somewhere in the vicinity of Millwall. So inaccurate, you couldn't set a calendar by it...

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posted 28 Dec 2005, 21.06 +0000

Being the irritating little git, I've been listening to Correspondents Look Ahead, which first aired on Radio 4 last new year. Here's what the team (Steven Sackur, Evan Davies, John Pienaar, Kylie Morris, Mark Doyle, Orla Guerin, Matt Frei) talked about.

Discussion began Ms Morris's thoughts on the tsunami, which was never going to be the end of the world. Ms Guerin spoke about Iraq's elections in January, possibly presaging a split of the country. It's not yet happened, but still looks possible. Radical islam is still on the rise, formenting more terrorism.

The Chesapeke correspondent saw more diplomacy on DPR Korea and Iran, rather than throwing their troops around. This happened. Condy Rice will bring an end to the war between the Foreign and War offices; this happened. Blair will look to call in favours from the muppets in the swamp; two out of three ain't bad.

Domestic politics - a third term for Blair, but in-fighting against Brown would be the main thrust of politics. Prior to the election, that was so; since then, it's been Blair versus the backbenchers, something that Mr Pienaar probably should have spotted. Ed Balls and Alistair Campbell would be the rising stars; it's too soon to tell with Mr Balls, but Mr Campbell had (by his standards) a bad election.

Blair's passion for Africa was, at least in part, dismissed as for local consumption. Mr Doyle in Africa suggested it wouldn't make a huge difference during 2005, and so it didn't. Sudan may settle down, DR Congo may not; both turned out to be true.

Mr Sackur wondered what was the plan B for the European Constitution referendum. A rejection in a minor state would have to be done again; a no in France would leave Europe floundering about. No-one spotted that all this would happen on Blair's watch. Mr Davies suggested that Eurovision in Ukraine would be poignant, which didn't really happen. Kosov@ could be a flashpoint. It wasn't, and let's be thankful for that.

On his home subject, economics, Mr Davies suggested that Europe would catch up to the rest of the world, more because they would slow down rather than we speed up. There'll be a general revaluation of currencies, with China moving their peg against the dollar. Double-top from Mr D.

Palestine is a perpetual topic in this programme, and Ms Guerin suggested that much would hinge on the relationship between Mr Abbas and Mr Sharon. She hinted that Mr Sharon was also looking for his place in history, and noted the tensions within his own party. I don't think anyone would have predicted Mr Sharon leaving his party.

Finally, a firm prediction from each correspondent.

Ms Morris: There will be less terrorism. How does one judge that?
Mr Pienaar: Blunkett back in the cabinet after the election. This happened.
Mr Davies: UK house prices would be a bit lower, there would be no crash. Spot on again.
Mr Doyle: George Weah would become president of Liberia. No, he came second.
Mr Frei: The pot-plant would make friends around the world, but would become a lame-duck after a 2nd term scandal. Not convinced about the international element, but the colonial matter was near the target. There was no single scandal, but little things cost him party support.
Ms Guerin: Israel will pull out of Gaza, no closer to an overall Palestinian settlement. Spot on.
Mr Pienaar: Europe will vote for constitution, but only just. Er, non.

That was Correspondents Look Ahead to 2005. This year's edition will be on Radio 4 at 8pm Friday, and 1pm Saturday. And reviewed here next year.

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posted 28 Dec 2005, 21.27 +0000

French-speaking Belgium

There's not a tremendous amount to be said about the Walloon chart of the year, most of the hits were also present in France. Bob Sinclar is the biggest hit not to appear in the main French listing, and none of the bottom five were quite as large over the border. Yes, that is the Starsailor we know and love, hitting in the francophone countries with a dance mix of the song.

1. Un monde parfait - Ilona Mitrecey
2. Axel F - Crazy Frog
3. Tout le bonheur du monde - Sinsemilia
4. Ma philisophie - Amel Bent
5. Caravane - Raphael
6. Lonely - Akon
7. T'es pas cap pinocchio - Pinocchio
8. La tortura - Shakira
9. Je viens du sud - Chimene Badi
10. Love generation - Bob Sinclar
11. Le casse de brice - Jean Dujardin
12. Petite soeur - Laam
13. C'est les vacances - Ilona Mitrecey
14. Ecris l'histoire - Gregory Lemarchal
15. Concerto pour deux voix
       - Clemence & Jean-Baptiste Maunier
16. Tu es comme ca - Marilou
17. Don't you - Pussycat Dolls
18. You're beautiful - James Blunt
19. Four to the floor - Starsailor
20. Hung up - Madonna

Dutch-speaking Belgium

Seven songs crossed over into both parts of Belgium, and while Mitrecey and Thing were 40% ahead of all-comers, Thing only beat out Blunt by 10% in Flanders. Laura Lynn is the top Belgian act, and historians of pop might recognise the name Belle Perez as someone who tried (and failed) to be the new Lolly some years ago. And yes, those are covers of Fame, Sisters are doing it..., and a rave-tastic Walking in Memphis.

1. axel f - Crazy Frog
2. you're beautiful - James Blunt
3. love generation - Bob Sinclar
4. kuma he - K3
5. don't you - Pussycat Dolls
6. que viva la vida - Belle Perez
7. lonely - Akon
8. je hebt me 1000 maal belogen - Laura Lynn
9. new day - Katerine
10. push the button - Sugababes
11. goosebumps - Sandrine
12. fame - Star Academy
13. hung up - Madonna
14. ik wil jou - Gene Thomas
15. sisters are doing it for themselves
                 - Natalia / Pointer Sisters
16. la tortura - Shakira
17. on the floor - Felix Project
18. walking in memphis - Wouter
19. don't phunk with my heart - Black Eyed Peas
20. pon the replay - Rihanna

Next: Latvia, Estonia, and Denmark.

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posted 30 Dec 2005, 13.07 +0000

Denmark

Domestic talent held down the top three places, led by the phenomenally successful Trine Dyrholm. Her song has been on or around the top 20 for the entire year, and has an average position of number 8. Every week, for the whole year. Trine's song, as the name suggests, is a sarky riposte to someone who is not Mr Nice-guy. Di:verse (to give them their full punctuation) are a poppy outfit, possibly from a casting show. I've not been able to get hold of a copy of Anna David. The usual suspects fill the positions below - Thing, Blung, Akon, Dolls, Schnappi, Sugababes, Shakira all present and correct. Amy Diamond at number 10 is a twelve-year old starlet from Sweden, who makes terrific pop music, not too sweet, not too sour.

1. Mr nice guy - Trine Dyrholm
2. Hvor sma vi er - Diverse
3. Fuck dig - Anna David
4. Axel f - Crazy Frog
5. Lonely - Akon
6. Don't you - Pussycat Dolls
7. You're beautiful - James Blunt
8. Signs - Snoop Dogg
9. Almost here - Brian Mcboringfart and Delta Goodrem
10. What's in it for me - Amy Diamond
11. Schnappi - Schnappi
12. Let me love you - Mario
13. Pon the replay - Rihanna
14. Bad day - Daniel Powter
15. Push the button - Sugababes
16. Love changes everything - Musikk / John Ro
17. Scare yourself - D-A-D
18. Drop it like it's hot - Snoop Dogg
19. Don't phunk with my heart - Black Eyed Peas
20. La tortura - Shakira

Latvia

Latvia does not have a sales chart - in compiling this chart, I've used the weekly Latvian Airplay Chart compiled from the nation's main playlists.

Depeche Mode had a good year this year, Precious became their biggest hit in a very long time, and remained atop the Latvian airplay lists for nine weeks. They come in ahead of three songs from Brainstorm (their Latvian work is released under the name Prata Vetra, and is broadly along the lines of My star), and two apiece from Gain Fast (who I've not heard), Dons (the local James Blunt), Dzelzs Vilks (who I've not heard either), and three from the Double Faced Eels (another big rock band.) Only four of these records were hits outside of Latvia, the fifth-biggest foreign tune was Madge's Hung up. This year's Eurovision entry from Walters and Kaza only spent two weeks on the list, and Tatu (popular in the Russian-speaking part of Latvia) were overtaken by Julia Savicheva.

1. Precious - Depeche Mode
2. Rudens - Prata Vetra
3. Cetri krasti - Prata Vetra
4. Brizi - Gain Fast
5. Kliedz - Gain Fast
6. Pilots tims - Prata Vetra
7. Esli hochesh ostat'sya - Diskoteka Avariya
8. Mans vards - Finx
9. You're beautiful - James Blunt
10. Sometimes you can't make it on your own - U2
11. Aizver dienu - Dons & Lily
12. Good morning my love - Dons
13. 16 - Double Faced Eels
14. Dala rigas - Astro'n'out
15. Skaiti lidz tris - Dzelzs Vilks
16. Prasit aizmirsto - Double Faced Eels
17. Tev oranzi mati - Dzelzs Vilks
18. Don't phunk with my heart - Black Eyed Peas
19. Esmu brivs - RAP
20. Zilais valis - Double Faced Eels

Estonia

Again, Estonia does not have a sales chart; I'm using the playlist of Radio Uuno, Tallinn's largest station.

Irritatingly, I've not been able to find a copy of Melody Club's hit, so can't give an opinion on it. The Backstreet Boys' big comeback was nowhere bigger than Estonia, while Vanilla Ninja went to Eurovision for Switzerland, and came back with 24 points from Estonia and eighth place. Ines, the Estonian entry five years ago, released three songs from her album, and put all three into the top 30. Estonia takes a lot of its cultural lead from Finland, which might explain the slight preponderance of metal. Uuno seems to be more of a pop-dance station, so good places for Gwen Stefani may not be representative of the nation as a whole.

1. Baby (stand up) - Melody Club
2. Incomplete - Backstreet Boys
3. Cool vibes - Vanilla Ninja
4. You're beautiful - James Blunt
5. Lonely no more - Rob Thomas
6. Falling stars - Sunset Strippers
7. Tuled ja saad lahed ja viid - 2 Quick Start
8. La tortura - Shakira
9. No fear - The Rasmus
10. Lift me up - Moby
11. Speed of sound - Coldplay
12. Suvi on veel ees - Ines
13. Tripping - Robbie Williams
14. Don't phunk with my heart - Black Eyed Peas
15. Moonwalk - Laura
16. Precious - Depeche Mode
17. Rich girl - Gwen Stefani
18. Cool - Gwen Stefani
19. Shiver - Natalie Imbruglia
20. What you waiting for - Gwen Stefani

To-morrow, it's the biggies, Norway and Sweden. Let battle commence!

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posted 30 Dec 2005, 17.19 +0000

...like the way it condones torture when it suits it. Craig Murray, the former UK ambassador to Uzbekistan, wrote some stinging telegrams to John "Jack" Straw in the Foreign and Commonwealth Office a few years ago. The government doesn't want them to be published, because they would embarrass Mr Straw.

Yesterday, Mr Murray leaked the documents, and wrote:

The FCO is seeking to gut the book of all evidence of complicity with the Uzbek regime.

With Blair cornered on extraordinary rendition, they are particularly anxious to suppress all evidence of our complicity in obtaining intelligence from Uzbek torture.

In particular, they have demanded I do not publish the attached documents, and that I hand over all copies of them.

The obvious answer to this is to post these documents as widely on the web as possible. This is also potentially very valuable in establishing that I am not attempting to make money from these documents - you don’t have to buy my book to see them, they are freely available. If you buy the book, you are only paying for the added value of my thoughts.

This will only work if we can get the [documents] very widely posted, including on sites in the US and elsewhere outside the UK … there is a chance that those who … post this stuff will get threatened under the Official Secrets Act.

So, here's my little part in the campaign. Chop and paste the document onto your website.

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posted 30 Dec 2005, 18.49 +0000

Sweden

Well, this is thoroughly encouraging. Sweden, perhaps the most important country for fans of proper pop, looked as though it was going to give the year's best-seller honours to a novelty, or to their Eurovision winner. Instead, the bouncy Amy Diamond has staged a quiet run, and pinched the title on the line. Sweden is the nominal home of the Annoying Thing, so five of the top seven are by local acts. Darin, for those who don't know, was the winner of the local Pop Idle, and Nanne has been trying to represent Sweden at Eurovision for many years. This year's entry, Martin Stenmarck's Las Vegas, finished in a tie for 24th place with Helena Paparizou's follow-up single. As a broad guide, if there's anything readers aren't familiar with here, go find them. Sweden does no wrong. (Except for number 15.)

1. What's in it for me - Amy Diamond
2. Schnappi - Schnappi
3. You're beautiful - James Blunt
4. Axel f - Crazy Frog
5. Step up - Darin
6. My number one - Helena Paparizou
7. Hall om mig - Nanne
8. Lonely - Akon
9. To win my love - Livet Enligt Rosa
10. Push the button - Sugababes
11. Money for nothing - Darin
12. Bad day - Daniel Powter
13. La tortura - Shakira
14. Tripping - Robbie Williams
15. Boulevard of boring songs - Green Dull
16. Rich girl - Gwen Stefani
17. The hjarta & smarta ep - Kent
18. Don't you - Pussycat Dolls
19. Stort liv - Lars Winnerback
20. Don't phunk with my heart - Black Eyed Peas

Norway

If Sweden is the most interesting chart in this round-up, Norway is probably the most entertaining to hear. Because it's a mix of sales and airplay, there's a certain level of consistency, promotion for Norwegian acts, but there's a turnover that makes the end-of-year chart less interesting than the weekly mix. Winners Coldplay picked up less than 5 points per week, the lowest total for any country. Two entries in the top ten for Gavin de Graw, two in the top 20 for reigning World Idle Kurt Nilsen, the return of A-ha, and more fun the further down the list we go. The only other local act to make the top 10 is Madrugada, with a bloke-at-a-piano song. Christian Walz is taking off in Germany as we speak. The voters of Eurovision General may have determined In my dreams to be the best song of the last three contests, but the voters of Norway only put it 33rd for the year.

1. Speed of sound - Coldplay
2. Bad day - Daniel Powter
3. You're beautiful - James Blunt
4. Nine million bicycles - Katie Melua
5. Lonely no more - Rob Thomas
6. Never easy - Kurt Nilsen
7. Tripping - Robbie Williams
8. Chariot - Gavin de Graw
9. The kids are on high street - Madrugada
10. I don't want to be - Gavin de Graw
11. Wonderchild - Christian Walz
12. Celice - Aha
13. Got none - Robert Post
14. Siden - Haugesund Pop Ensemble
15. Boulevard of boring songs - Green Dull
16. Fredag - Trang Fodsel
17. This is the last time - Keane
18. New california - Colours Turned Red
19. Misunderstood - Robbie Williams
20. When the stars go blue
          - Venke Knutson / Kurt Nilson

Next: the two biggest markets, the UK and Germany.

permanent link
posted 31 Dec 2005, 13.32 +0000

Germany

It's all their fault. Every last bit of it is their fault. Schnappi is a German creation, it ruled the roost over there for the first three months of the year, and it finished comfortably ahead of all-comers at number one. The closest competitors are from a Popstars-clone, a Pop Idle-clone, and the British army. Juanes, I think, is a Brazilian singer, and he performed at the world cup draw at the start of the month. Tokio Hotel are a group of young goths. Lower down the list, Melanie C really is the former Spice Girl; Chipz are from a Dutch casting show, Us 5 a German/Yankee casting show, and the Fettes Brot a German casting show. Sarah Connor is usually a reliable hit-maker, but she only produced one song this year. Missing the top 20 by a handful of places were Nena, Joana Zimmer, Banaroo, and Ilona Mitrecey. Who said the Germans had no sense of humour?

1. Schnappi - Schnappi
2. Femme like u - K-maro
3. Und wenn ein leid - Sohne Mannheims
4. You're beautiful - James Blunt
5. La camisa negra - Juanes
6. Durch den monsun - Tokio Hotel
7. Lonely - Akon
8. Don't you - Pussycat Dolls
9. Candy shop - 50 Cent
10. La tortura - Shakira
11. First day of my life - Mel C
12. Chipz in black - Chipz
13. Emanuela - Fettes Brot
14. Push the button - Sugababes
15. Maria - Us 5
16. Du erinnerst mich an liebe - Ich + Ich
17. Axel f - Crazy Frog
18. From zero to hero - Sarah Connor
19. Die eine 2005 - die Firma
20. Numb/encore - Jayz and Linkin Park

United Kingdom

The UK chart is scored down to position 40, and is compiled from the Hit 40 UK and Smash Hits charts. This has the effect of giving a slight boost to records that last a long time at low places.

Those records that hang around forever in high places will, obviously, be the most successful here. Blunt was seven weeks at number 1, both he and Powter spent more than three months in the top ten. They're a long way clear of the next records, and only a handkerchief covers positions 3 to 7. They include three tedious imported tracks, one charity re-issue, and one of the stand-out records of the year; the Gorillas came closest to having two in the top 20, Dare missed out by just six places. The Bodyrockers never rose above number 6 on the weekly chart, but hung around for months. Does anyone (else) remember Natalie Imbruglia's comeback?

1. You're beautiful - James Blunt
2. Bad day - Daniel Powter
3. Lonely - Akon
4. Don't you - Pussycat Dolls
5. Let me love you - Mario
6. Amarillo - Tony Christie
7. Feel good inc - Gorillaz
8. Push the button - Sugababes
9. I like the way - Bodyrockers
10. Axel f - Crazy Frog
11. Over and over - Nelly
12. Shiver - Natalie Imbruglia
13. Ghetto gospel - 2pac
14. Like toy soldiers - Eminem
15. Tripping - Robbie Williams
16. We belong together - Mariah Carey
17. All about you - McFly
18. Signs - Snoop Dogg
19. Crazy chick - Charlotte Church
20. You raise me up - Pestside

Next: the songs I've heard and enjoyed.

permanent link
posted 01 Jan 2006, 10.49 +0000

Yep, it's the annual predictions event. Here's how I did last year.

Labour will retain a slim overall majority, of about 30, on about 35% of the vote. Blair will either interpret this as a vote of no confidence and resign before the opening of parliament, or will cling on during a gathering storm. Well, I got the share of the vote right, but the electoral arithmetic allowed 30 to become 68 on just over 8000 votes in the right seats. Blair has clung on, but it's obvious to all that he's a spent force, and should be looking to secure an honourable exit.

The Tories will stand still in the polls, the Lib Dems will make some advances, as will single interest parties - I see two or three independents coming from the mainland. Michael Howaerd will remain leader, but Charles Kennedy may step down. The Tories did indeed stand still in percentage terms, but the Liberal advance was smaller than it could have been. Got Mr Howaerd wrong, but Mr Kennedy is only a matter of timing.

Iraq, I predict a gloomy situation: unrest will continue, the election will not produce a stable government, and someone will seriously suggest partitioning the country along ethnic lines. It's still too early to judge, for the results will not be released until next week.

The PDRUP junta will continue to resist any sort of compulsory military service, but its efforts at forcing soldiers to enlist beyond their original term can only go so far. At some point, there will be a public scandal that the junta's puppet "president" has failed to attend a single funeral, and strings will carry it to one such event. But just one. This prediction was a response to the stirrings of a mandatory "draft" that were floating about a year ago. The funeral scandal stirred in the protester camped outside the junta's headquarters in Crawford.

The junta's over-reach could be in foreign policy - Iran, China and Taiwan, Europe are all possible banana skins, but will probably be a combination of the disaster in Iraq and continued mismanagement of the domerstic economy, not helped by their insane and economically unnecessary plan to get rich by privatising pensions. In the event, this was unduly pessimistic. The one thing I hadn't factored into my expectations was that the colonials would begin to see their nominal leader's complete uselessness. That cut his grounds to manouvre.

The tremendous trade and budget deficits will finally start to worry the federal bank, which will force interest rates up in an effort to defend the dollar. Europe and Asia will profit slightly from this lack of competitiveness, with the UK perhaps benefitting from an election boomlet for most of the year. The dollar will continue to slide, losing perhaps 10% again. The price of oil is the big uncertainty. Interest rates did go up, and the dollar did stage a modest recovery - dropping from 1.90 to 1.70 against the pound. It remains to be seen how sustainable the economy over there is, or whether Vernon Kaye will bring a new hand to the tiller.

Sport, and with England on top of the South Africans, the test will come against Australia this summer. A 2:2 draw seems about right. Am I ever glad to be wrong!

Lance Armstrong surely can't win a seventh Tour - can he? Chelsea will win something, and Everton will qualify for European football again - whether that's the Cup or the League depends more on Middlesbrough's strength than their own. Yes, Lance can, and he did. Chelsea weren't running away with the League last year. Everton did qualify for the European League, but lost three of their four matches to fall out before the end of summer.

Television will perhaps become less fragmented than in the past couple of years - ITV realises that it can't rely on two or three soaps and IBES to sustain itself, while the BBC begins to move away from the highly populist touch of the Greg Duk era and gains major critical plaudits. ITV is still shoring up problems for itself, though there has been a slight resurgance of popular drama in the last few months. The Beeb has been moving gradually upmarket.

Expect at least one major casualty amongst the cabsat channels - Sci-Fi looks to be in weak shape, and the UK-TV channels are spreading their programming remarkably thinly. No major changes on radio this year - Radio 1 will continue to perform strongly on daytime, Radio 2 will continue to ossify around the fast-deteriorating breakfast shows, and Classic FM might be the station to watch for advances. All the cabsat channels are present and correct, though all the Flextech channels suffered from the uncertainty surrounding owners Telewest. Nothing much at all on the radio front.

Pop music is in interesting times. The physical single is dying, reflected in the BBC's downgrading of TOTP and the Top 40 show. Legal downloading will continue to pick up some of the slack. Expect lots of hits to appear to come out of nowhere, or from decentralised word-of-mouth blogs, clubs, and other "unusual" promotion channels. The Arctic Monkeys owed more to constant touring than their much-hyped internet presence, but Popjustice (to name one) has hit well above its weight. There's also been a plethora of singles charting from just a few stores - Yeovil, Brighton, Hartlepool, and Telford have all put records into the top 30, and an Ulster-only release gave Brian Kennedy a smash just last week.

Predictions for 2006

1. Domestic politics: Charles Kennedy will resign as Lib Dem leader, possibly straight after the current recess, more probably after the May local elections.

2. The May elections will see some Labour gains, mainly from the Lib Dems. The Tories will make some ground, probably no more than 200 seats. This will be seen as a success for Cameron.

3. Hazel Blears will join the cabinet. Ruth Kelly will leave education for a (nominal) promotion. There will be at least one change in the offices of state.

4. Entertainment: Eurovision will be won by a country that's won it before.

5. Deal or No Deal will have a brief foray into prime time, but won't be the tremendous success that some expect.

6. The first signs of 90s nostalgia will appear.

7. A major singles retailer will cease to stock the format. ROPRA will allow download-only singles to chart.

8. There will be the beginnings of a backlash against the digital television conversion process. This won't be enough to delay the switchover timetable yet, though it may do in the future.

9. Dick and Dom will have a primetime hit.

10. Cricket: England will draw the away test series against India, and beat both Sri Lanka and Pakistan at home. Australia will have regained the Ashes by the end of next year. England will fall out of the Champions' Trophy in the last 8; this tournament will be replaced by a 20/20 cup for its next running.

11. Rugby: France will win the Six Nations.

12. Football: Rangers will not finish in a European League or UEFA Cup spot, and will (successfully) try their luck in the Intertoto.

13. Chelsea, Reading, Huddersfield, Wycombe, and Exeter will win Divisions I to V in England. Celtic, St Mirren, Gretna, and Stenhousemuir will retain their leads in Scotland.

14. Biathlon: Bjorndalen will win Olympic golds, plural.

15. Football: The World Cup will be won by a side from outside the top eight seeds.

16. Environment: There will be a fashion for home-installed solar panels.

17. A European government will impose a small tax on airline fuel.

18. International politics: There will be no firm progress towards a settlement on the West Bank, following an inconclusive election in Israel.

19. The occupying powers will set a timetable to withdraw from Iraq; this will be completed during 2007.

20. Africa will be less important than this year.

21. The beginning of organised protests from outside the country against the Australian government's immigration policies.

22. Mugabe will be removed as Zimbabwe's dictator, but lives will be little changed.

23. Lifestyle: Fashion will see a brief return to ultra-formal wear from the 50s.

24. There'll be more takeover speculation at Marks and Sparks.

25. The bagel will be the new pasty.

26. Finance: The dollar will go down, European shares will be broadly flat.

27. The completely outside bet: discounting Family Affairs, and including Casualty, Holby City and The Bill, there will be less soap on the five main channels than the 16.5 hours this autumn.

And remember, if you think you can foretell the future, do play the 2006 Prediction Contest. Lines close this Wednesday.

permanent link
posted 01 Jan 2006, 14.45 +0000

First, and without much commentary, the 40 songs I've heard and liked the most this year.

1. Bad day - daniel powter
2. Schnappi - schnappi
3. Shiver - natalie imbruglia
4. Give a little bit - goo goo dolls
5. Chewing gum - annie
6. Sometimes you can't make it on your own - u2
7. I'll be around - hall and oates
8. You're beautiful - james blunt
9. Eighth world wonder - kimberley locke
10. Since you've been gone - kelly clarkson
11. Crazy chick - charlotte church
12. Un monde parfait - ilona mitrecey
13. Out of touch - uniting nations
14. Somebody told me - killers
15. Suddenly I see - k t tunstall
16. Welcome to the city - amy diamond
17. Do you want to - franz ferdinand
18. Feel good inc - gorillaz
19. Amarillo - tony christie
20. Breakaway - kelly clarkson
21. Caravane - raphael
22. California - phantom planet
23. Refugees - tears
24. Obviously - mcfly
25. Push the button - sugababes
26. Looking for water - alex parks
27. All about you - mcfly
28. Why do you love me - garbage
29. Lift me up - moby
30. Other side of the word - k t tunstall
31. Ashes - embrace
32. Lazarus - porcupine tree
33. Somewhere only we know - keane
34. I'll be ok - mcfly
35. All about us - tatu
36. Behind these hazel eyes - kelly clarkson
37. Penny and me - hanson
38. Galvanize - chemical brothers
39. Oh my god - kaiser chiefs
40. Smile like you mean it - killers

1, 4 and 8 rather outstayed their welcome. The list shows bias towards the first half of the year, because I continue counting a song until I don't hear it for three straight weeks, meaning that some staples just haven't fallen off yet. Making an editorial judgement, these are the ones I've really liked:

The Top Ten (in no order)

welcome to the city - amy diamond
begin - amy steinberg band
rebellion - arcade fire
I bet you look good on the dancefloor - arctic monkeys
folk who live on the hill - bette midler
paint your target - fightstar
the world is mine - hooverphonic
liberatio - krypteria
14th street - laura cantrell
invisible people - wallstones

The Next Fourteen

a lifetime - better than ezra
so here we are - bloc party
je viens du sud - chimene badi
concerto pour deux voix
     - clemence et jean-baptiste maunier
coin operated boy - dresden dolls
song for lovers - flopstars
love steals from loneliness - idlewild
little mouse - jack morgan
big city life - mattafix
space soap - mister cosmic
lift me up - moby
lazarus - porcupine tree
caravane - raphael
push the button - sugababes

And the rest...
(ordered by most to least played)

shiver - natalie imbruglia
suddenly I see - k t tunstall
do you want to - franz ferdinand
refugees - tears
looking for water - alex parks
all about you - mcfly
why do you love me - garbage
all about us - tatu
behind these hazel eyes - kelly clarkson
galvanize - chemical brothers
smile like you mean it - killers
bullets - editors
luce dei miei occhi - ludovico einaudi
staring at the sun - rooster
my doorbell - white stripes
right about now - mousse t / emma lanford
la tortura - shakira
precious - depeche mode
la camisa negra - juanes
durch den monsun - tokio hotel
listen to your heart - dht
modern way - kaiser chiefs
ticket out of loserville - son of dork
tout le bonheur du monde - sinsemilia
I believe - joana zimmer
helena - my chemical romance
liebe ist - nena
first day of my life - mel c
home - marc broussard
just a ride - jem
summer - charlotte hatherley
rower - lech janerka
scary kisses - voice of the beehive
heliopolis by night - aberfeldy
serious - pop!
aimer jusqu'a l'impossible - tina arena
hey ya - boss hoss
sunshine baby - reamonn
fear - ian brown
object of my desire - dana rayne
sleeps with butterflies - tori amos
in a funny way - mercury rev
fuck them all - mylene farmer
krafty - new order
bottle rocket - the go team
hey man - eels
static believer - one finger zen

permanent link
posted 01 Jan 2006, 15.02 +0000

We'll start with the UK, the only chart showing real action this week. No changes at the top, where Shayne Ward continues to hold Nizlopi at bay. Madonna moves back up from 8 to 3, and there are returns to the top 10 for the BEPs, Sugababes, and James Blunt. His single before last, You're beautiful Ubiquitous, moves back from 43 to 16. Ahead come the week's significant releases - Hard-Fi's Cash machine at number 14, and Brian Kennedy's George Best tribute from 21 to 11 as it became available outside Ulster. Other old records are advancing - Arctic Monkeys go 25-17, Sugababes' Push the button 48-19, Daniel Powter 34-21, the Pussies 40-23, and there are returns for old singles from Kelly Clarkson (...Hazel eyes) and the Kaiser Chiefs (...Predict...). For everything moving up, there has to be something going down, and both of Pestside's tracks fall a dozen places. Hurrah!

On the album list, the sales are very good for Kelly Clarkson (up to 2) and Hard-Fi, climbing to position 3. There are also advances for the Kaiser Chiefs, Goldfrapp, Basement Jaxx, Magic Numbers, Franz Ferdinand, and the Editors, and a new peak for Jack Johnson. Losers of the week would be the Simon Cowell creation Ill Divo, who slump twenty places. Nasty. But not as nasty as their tunes.

 20 re Kent - The hjarta and smarta ep
 19 17 Katie Meluargh - Nine million bicycles
 18 11 Tatu - All about us
 17 14 DHT - Listen to your heart
*16 16 Annoying Thing - Jingle bells
 15 19 Arctic Monkeys - I bet you look good on the dancefloor
 14 13 Juanes - La camisa negra
 13 re Franz Ferdinand - Do you want to?
*12 re Tina Arena - Aimer jusqu'a l'impossible
 11  9 Melanie C - First day of my life
 10  8 Bert Bills - Tripping
  9 10 K T Tunstall - Suddenly I see
  8  7 Kaiser Chiefs - Modern way
  7  5 Mattafix - Big city life
  6  6 Depeche Mode - Precious
* 5 NE Coldplay - Talk
* 4  4 Black Eyed Peas - My humps
  3  3 James Blunt - Ubiquitous
* 2  2 Madonna - Hung up
* 1  1 Sugababes - Push the button

North Europe's Top Forty of the Year

1. You're beautiful - James Blunt
2. Bad day - Daniel Powter
3. Schnappi - Schnappi
4. Axel f - Crazy Frog
5. Push the button - Sugababes
6. Sometimes you can't make it on your own - U2
7. Un monde parfait - Ilona Mitrecey
8. Speed of sound - Coldplay
9. Give a little bit - Goo Goo Dolls
10. La tortura - Shakira
11. Shiver - Natalie Imbruglia
12. Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson
13. Feel good inc - Gorillaz
14. Boulevard of boring songs - Green Dull
15. Precious - Depeche Mode
16. Since you've been gone - Kelly Clarkson
17. Tripping - Bert Bills
18. Somebody told me - Killers
19. Lonely - Akon
20. City of blinding lights - U2
21. I'll be around - Hall And Oates
22. Don't you - Pussycat Dolls
23. All about us - Tatu
24. Lonely no more - Rob Thomas
25. Caravane - Raphael
26. Daughters - John Mayer
27. Amarillo - Tony Christie
28. Crazy chick - Charlotte Church
29. Hung up - Madonna
30. What you waiting for? - Gwen Stefani
31. Suddenly I see - K T Tunstall
32. Out of touch - Uniting Nations
33. Galvanize - Chemical Brothers
34. Chewing gum - Annie
35. La camisa negra - Juanes
36. All about you - Mcfly
37. Ma philisophie - Amel Bent
38. Tout le bonheur du monde - Sinsemilia
39. Lift me up - Moby
40. California - Phantom Planet

That's it, there is no more chart of the year. Normal service, or what passes for it around these parts, resumes to-morrow.

permanent link
posted 01 Jan 2006, 16.19 +0000

The high pressure on the continent stayed far enough away to keep most of the UK under westerly winds, so it was mild.

26 Mo cloud, showers       3/ 5,  0.8
27 Tu snow flurries       -3/ 4,  0.0
28 We cloud               -2/ 1,  0.0
29 Th fog, sleet          -6/-1,  0.0
30 Fr snow to rain        -1/ 8, 11.6
31 Sa sun                  4/ 8,  0.0
01 Su cloud to sun         4/ 8,  0.0

A whopping 54 degree heating days this week, the winter's total is shivering up to 282½. Last year's score: 226½/677½; 282.5 was achieved three weeks into the year.

permanent link
posted 01 Jan 2006, 16.35 +0000

older writing... write to