1994: Mr John Major launches the new UK national lottery. After a short time when it's fashionable and the butt of jokes for every comedian, the game settles down to a moderate success. Attempts to jazz up the format occasionally work (Winning Lines), but are mostly failures (Red Alert, The Big Ticket, that football game no-one understood.)

2004: The Universaldailyregister prints its first Sudoku puzzle. After a short time when it's fashionable and the butt of jokes for every comedian, the game settles down to a moderate success. Attempts to jazz up the format occasionally work (Wordoku), but are mostly failures (Dodecadoku, Killer, Sundoku.)

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posted 14 Nov 2005, 18.17 +0000

Elsewhere, Fridgemagnet decides that the "national" "novel" writing "month" is not the best thing.

Nanowrimo has always been a community exercise, not one to produce actual art. It prizes the word count and the quantity over any actual quality. Indeed, the site's apologia makes as much clear:

the ONLY thing that matters in Nanowrimo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.

Never mind the art, just write an arbitrary number of words, and - according to the organisers - you can call yourself a novelist. Of course I'd disagree with this analysis: the term "novel" requires some literary merit, and the Nanowrimo organisers go out of their way to discourage such little matters as a plot, thought, or character construction.

And why November? Why add this extra pressure to what's already one of the most stressful months of the year. The clocks have gone back, the commercialisation of minor religious festivals is under way, the weather's getting cold, the calendar year-end is looming large. March, I suggest, would be a far better month for this kind of creative activity.

For what it's worth, my Great Writing Project (the Autobiography in 28 parts I wrote during September and October 2003) is compliant with Nanowrimo in spirit, but not in technicalities. At a "mere" 40,000 words, it fails the arbitrary length criterion; it's an autobiography and not a work of fiction; it took me 33 days to write, not one calendar month; and the work was done in September and October.

By my definition, and I'd hope by any sensible definition, this would count as a proper work of art. According to the narrow verbiage propounded by the Nanowrimo organisation, it doesn't count as a novel.

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posted 15 Nov 2005, 18.35 +0000

It is the fifteenth day of November. The supermarket up the road has been stocking mince pies for about two weeks, and tinsel for maybe a month more. They've not put up any decorations or lights.

One of the houses opposite, though, erected their baubles and illuminated displays over the week-end. And switched them on.

It is the fifteenth of November. No-vem-ber. There are still forty shipping days until gift-fiving, as Het Grauniad would put it. Your lights are, roughly, one calendar month too early. Please take them down, otherwise we shall have to persuade Mr North-wind to take them down for you.

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posted 15 Nov 2005, 18.45 +0000

50p, £10, £35G, £50G, 1p -- £6900
£5000, £100, £250G -- £1600
£250, £750, £75G -- £4800
£500, £3000, £1 -- £14,800
£20G, 10p, £10G -- £28,000
£1000, £50, £100G -- £4800
Box: £5. Remaining: £50

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posted 15 Nov 2005, 20.00 +0000

Alexi Mitrofanov is a member of Russia's parliament. He speaks for the LDPR grouping, which is to foreign relations as Veritas Party (Leader: Robert Kilroy-Silk) is to pale-skinned xenophilia. Anyway, Mr Mitrofanov has called for honours to be bestowed upon Tatu.

In an Early Duma Motion, he said that the singers deserved the Order of Friendship, awarded to figures who have made a substantial contribution to strengthening ties with other countries.

"Yulia Volkova and Yelena Katina have visited dozens of countries and have given thousands of interviews to the media," said Mr Mitrofanov. "Even Prince Charles swore he would learn Russian before TV cameras during a meeting with them," reports Russian news agency RIAN.

The gentleman has a point, though there should be no need for this motion now, it should have been a foregone conclusion two and a half years ago. Once again we must waggle our finger and tut at the Kilroy-Shaftish UK voters at Eurovision 2003. Three more points would have wrapped up the Order of Friendship for contributions to Russian culture.

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posted 16 Nov 2005, 20.26 +0000

Multan: Pakistan (274 and 341) bt England (418 and 175) by 22 runs

Bugger. England should have won this one, but a rare top-order collapse in the final innings proved their undoing.

The key contributions came from Pakistan's top order batsmen in both innings, particularly Inzaman ul-Haq and Salman Butt. The Pakistani tail was woeful, and had England had a bit of luck against the top four, this match could have been wrapped up within four days. Pakistan collapsed from 161/1 in the first innings, and 266/3 in the second.

England had the game in the palm of their hands in the first innings, thanks to 193 from Trescothick, and a nerve-calming 71 from Bell. But the second innings saw a shocking collapse, the sort of failure we grew accustomed to in the early 90s, but now associate with the West Indies. Collingwood and Pietersen, in particular, will be ruing the shots that got them out. Too much haste has bitten them on the backsides.

The second test begins in Faisalabad on Sunday. By then, we should have a result in the second test between Australia and the West Indies, which begins to-night in Hobart. Australia leads the series 1:0.

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posted 16 Nov 2005, 20.37 +0000

Another new look to The Inteligent Radio (And Television) Times. The listings for next week will only be drawn from channels with a bias towards programming that requires an IQ above that of a mollusc. I'll also be adding in some reviews of shows I've seen and heard.

* Shark-Infested Custard (Lion for CITV, 4pm Friday) Harry Hill's latest vehicle, and it's the first time he's specifically targeted children. Which, sadly, means even more scatalogical jokes, and fewer chances to bring out the witty repartee that's his trademark. Come back TV Burp, all is forgiven.

* Gilmore Girls (Nick, 9pm Sunday) Remember that Christmas episode of The Vicar of Dibley where Geraldine Grainger has three meals in one day? That's the basic plot behind the Thanksgiving episode from the third series. It's a shame, because GG doesn't play directly for laughs, and the plot really is pure comedy genius. It deserved better than to link all the ongoing strands together.

* Radio Eye (ABC Radio National, 5am Saturday) What's the Deal was an edition of the programme looking at gambling down under. It made for a great 40-minute radio piece, with the tales of a musician, a performance poet, and a comedian set against literary classics by Dostoyevsky, and original research. Those of you who appreciate This American Life will like the show. Hear it now! (Real media, runs 55 minutes.)

A listing of selected television and radio broadcasts, with a deliberate emphasis on culture and intellectual programmes.

Saturday

Jazz Line-Up (4pm Radio 3) is the first of a number of programmes from the London Jazz Festival. This episode features Francesco Cafiso and Marchin Wasewski. Domino Day (6.10 C5) is the coverage of this year's massive domino topple in Amsterdam. It won't be the same without Roy Castle and Norris McWhirter. This Sceptic Isle (8pm BBC4) sees Peter Hitchens argue that Britain's place is out of Europe. Er, no. In The Archive Hour (8pm Radio 4), Carolyn Quinn looks into hospital radio - what it is, who benefits from it, and if they'll take Zane Lowe back now. Talking With Kate (8.30 Radio 2) is a chat between Kate Bush and Mark Radcliffe, about her new album and his late-night show.

Sunday

There'll Never be Another Benny Hill promises Graeme Garden (11am and 9pm, BBC7). Mamma Mia!, the ABBA musical, is the subject of Radio 2's musicals show (1pm). CAUTION: contains Elaine Paige. Steve Reich is the interviewee in Music Matters (5.45 Radio 3). Later, Richard Eyre's Macbeth (8.30 Radio 3) gets a welcome repeat from its original 2000 broadcast.

Monday

The Rook and Me is a bird-watching programme (3.45 Radio 4, continues all week). Kenneth Alwyn gets an 80th birthday celebration in Stage and Screen (4pm Radio 3), looking back at many classic musicals of the post-war era. And June Whitfield is the story of her life (6.30 BBC7, continues all week). Prince Eddy (9pm C4) is the king we never had - the eldest son of Victoria dies in 1892, thrusting Albert (later George 5) into the succession. The Evening Concert (9pm Classic FM) features two hours of Thomas Tallis's work.

Tuesday

The Afternoon Play rejoices in the title The Day Daniel O'Donnell Got Married (2.15 Radio 4), and it's all about two fans of the Irish crooner who want to see the ceremony for themselves. "Eedjits" - Father Dougal Maguire. Night Waves (9.40 Radio 3) looks into the cultural legacy of the crow. To-night's Evening Concert is a performance of Giselle. (9pm Classic FM).

Wednesday

The Bat Bombers (11am Radio 4) were exactly what they said on the tin - Peter Day investigates.

Thursday

The Trade Trap (8.30 Radio 4) looks into why the GATT talks in Hong Kong are being greeted with pessimism all around.

Friday

Holding On (11am Radio 4) tells the strange tale of Hands On A Hard Body, the truck-touching contest from Texas brought to the UK by a confused Dale Winton. Jazz Legends (4pm Radio 3) explores the History of Fusion, with Jan Hammer and David Sancious, who we thought was a priest from Father Ted. What looks like the best Blue Peter of the week (5pm BBC-1) sees Matt Baker report from the World Gymnastics championships - he'll be hosting the coverage on Sunday Grandstand two days later. More from the Jazz Festival, including to-night's Performance on 3 featuring Maria Schneider, Kurt Elling, and McCoy Tyner. National Doris Day isn't until April, but that doesn't stop Michael Brandon from hosting a Legends tribute to the great star (9pm BBC-4).

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posted 17 Nov 2005, 19.59 +0000

Het Grauniad misses opportunity to blow its own trumpet! The mondial orgna looked at British political blogs, and wonders why the scene isn't as vibrant here as it is on the other side of the Atlantic. It's got to have something to do with the quality of the press.

In the UK, we have a lively investigative press, one that's prepared and ready to question those in authority. The FARCE, meanwhile, has a cowed and comatose press corps, one that fails to ask the difficult questions, preferring to sell sell sell. The presence of professional journalists who will take on the powerful means that bloggers don't need to step into the breach.

Good news on the identity register - Stella Rimmington, the former head of M15, has weighed in on the debate. They'll contribute nothing to security, they'll be forged, and will prove to be an expensive failure. Which probably explains why Mister Tony Blair and the "civil" "servants" at the Interior Ministry are so heavily in favour of them.

Perhaps the best advice on Sony's virus comes from those nice people at F-secure. Sensible, cogent, considered advice, including which ActiveX controls to delete, and how to do it. May not be comprehensible for Aunt Maude, but great for anyone prepared to get their fingers a little bit dirty.

The bubble is bursting: a message from Sudoku.com: This website and its associated Sudoku enterprises are for Sale. Interested corporations should contact Wayne Gould.

As for social games that might yet get the mighty Brig Bother bursting into song: RPG Survivor. Whaaaaaayaaa! Wheeeey-heeeey-iiiiia! Film-effect shots of Mark Austen! Relegation to the coveted 4am on Sunday Morning slot! Etc.

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posted 17 Nov 2005, 20.11 +0000

In to-day's paper, a notice that Chris de Burgh, a well-known Irish karaoke singer, will be playing in Birmingham on 18 November.

"Hang on a moment," I thought. "Wasn't the bloke singing A spaceman came travelling and other such nonsense last night, being the 18th of November?"

Apparently not - it's a booking for 18 November 2006. Three hundred and sixty-four days hence.

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posted 19 Nov 2005, 18.19 +0000

A lot of links, without any sort of organisation. Deal.

The Revision Thing - how to fake facts.

The worst software bugs of all time, as awarded on a bug-by-forever basis.

An argument against web intermediary services like Google-mail and Friendster.

Danny Kruger argues that the Conservatives need to be the Wikipedia party, compared to Labour's Encyclopaedia Galactica. A Wikipedia that anyone can edit isn't right for a political party, it's a recipe for last-mover advantage. However, there is an argument for the Tories to become the Usenet/Nomic party - the existing set of policies can be amended, but only after an open debate about what the amendment should be, and after securing a super-majority in an open ballot - perhaps of everyone, not just members.

Jared Leto, an actor so anonymous and stripped of charisma he looks like he was conceived of a brief liaison between a blank sheet of paper and the empty chamber of a revolver. (TV Custard)

A lot on the recent French unrest.

And Microsoft will add the Sony DRM rootkit to their Anti-Crapware products. Readers may insert their own joke about "a batch file that goes format c: /s" here.

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posted 20 Nov 2005, 15.50 +0000

Mel C may have been removed from the semi-official list of Interesting Modern People, as has every ex-Spice apart from Victoria Aadams, but it's not Posh at the top of Germany's charts. Madonna is rising strongly across the continent - deposing the Annoying Thing from the top in France, getting rid of Trine Dryholm in Denmark, and even getting past Kent in Sweden.

*20 NE Son of Dork - Ticket out of Loserville
*19 NE Kent - The Härta & smärta ep
 18 re Alex Parks - Looking for water
 17 10 Franz Ferdinand - Do you want to?
 16 13 Céline Dion - Je ne vous oublier pas
 15 14 Coldplay - Fix you
*14 18 Melanie C - First day of my life
*13 NE Amel Bent - Ne retiens pas tes larnes
 12  9 Kelly Clarkson - Behind these hazel eyes
*11 11 Johnny Hallyday - Ma religion dans son regard
 10 12 Daniel Powter - Bad day
  9  8 K T Tunstall - Suddenly I see
  8  6 Pussycat Dolls - Don't you
* 7  7 Arctic Monkeys - I bet you look good on the dancefloor
  6  4 Depeche Mode - Precious
* 5 NE Madonna - Hung up
* 4  5 Tatu - All about us
  3  3 Bert Bills - Tripping
  2  2 James Blunt - You're beautiful
  1  1 Sugababes - Push the button

Two weeks at the top for Madonna, still ahead of Pestside. The Black Eyed Peas new song is from their forthcoming Traffic Control Measures mini-album, My humps is new at 3. It will be joined by such tunes as The sleeping policeman, the ABBA-sampling Gatso Gatso Gatso, and the unforgettable Pedestrianised zone (protected by bollards).

It's talent show mania beneath, with Council Estate Slappers (Popstars 2, Biology) Will Young (Pop Idle 1, Switch it on) and The Flopstars (Popstars 1, A night to remember) entering at 4, 5, and 6 respectively. All this means that the Darkness's comeback single One way ticket to hell (and back) can only make 8. Hurrah for the White Stripes' The denial twist entering at position 10, the third single from the album would usually enter around 23, but giving away slipcases at their recent gigs has proven to be a grade 1 idea.

More good news for James Bourne - his Son Of Dork are number 13 second week out, while their inferior tribute band Green Dull can only make position 17. It's four months in the top 20 for Daniel Powter this week. Credible stuff lower down: Funeral For A Friend's History at 21, Arcade Fire's Wake up at 29, Towers of London How rude she was is 30. I've no idea about Modern, whose Jane falls down tickles the list at position 35.

On the albums chart, I'm now able to remove compilations, Corrupt Disks, and oldies from the survey. Hurrah! Still leaves Madonna's woeful new disk Confessions On A Dance Floor the biggest seller, though it's directly ahead of Pestside and Ill Divo, so could be worse. Green Dull are in at 4, Kelly Clarkson's up to 6, ahead of Babyshambles' Down in Albion record. Good climb for Kaiser Chiefs, Katherine Jenkins' Living a Dream remains the classical best-seller, and 12th overall. Be very wary, for Foster and Allen Sing the Number Ones has got to give Simon Cowell an idea. Dangerous territory.

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posted 20 Nov 2005, 16.35 +0000

A very settled week, with high pressure becoming a fixture of the chart, leading to clear, cold days and very frosty nights. Some have argued that we went from a prolonged summer - which lasted a few days into November - through a an autumn of barely two weeks, and straight into winter.

14 Mo sunny spells         2/ 8,  0.3
15 Tu cloud, drizzle       8/11,  0.5
16 We sun                  6/ 7,  1.2
17 Th sun                  0/ 6,  0.3
18 Fr sun                 -2/ 5,  0.0
19 Sa sun                 -1/ 5,  0.3
20 Su sun                 -3/ 7,  0.0

Winter really has taken off - 40½ degree heating days brings the total to 46. That's still adrift of last year's equivalent, 62½/677½.

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posted 20 Nov 2005, 19.05 +0000

older writing... write to