Margaret Hodge, the Labour minister in charge of the country this week-end, has been bleating about the potential success of the British Nationalist Party in next month's elections. According to Mrs Hodge, the BNP could win a smattering of council seats up and down the country, and this will be the end of the world as we know it. What rot. The BNP already has the odd seat here and there, and those councils seem to be functioning perfectly well, by ignoring the small racist element.

Furthermore, Mrs Hodge is giving the BNP a high profile that's far above anything the party has earned at the ballot box. When I last did Weaver's Hierachy of Independent Parties in June 2004, the grouping was down in the statistical noise, somewhere around the 31^st most important party nationwide, roughly level with the People's Justice Party (now defunct), Christian parties, and Merbyon Kernow. It's behind such luminaries as the Mansfield Independents and the Liberal Party. Do we hear Mrs Hodge shouting the odds about the Senior Citizens' Unity Party? No, even though the group holds a seat in the Scottish Parliament.

Why don't we hear Mrs Hodge shouting the odds about the SCUP? Because it doesn't threaten Labour's core vote in the way that the BNP does. The people who might be tempted to vote for the racists tend to be manual workers, lowly paid, and class themselves as "indigenous" British. The sort of people who have traditionally voted Labour in large numbers. Any gains the BNP makes tend to come directly from Labour.

But there's another point in the calculus. It serves Labour to have an enemy on the far right, precisely because it provides them with a bogeyman with which to scare dissident voters. It cannot be coincidence that the racist right rose up during the Labour government of the 70s, fell away as the white working class shared in the bounty of Thatcherism, but has seen a resurgence in the last few years.

In the modern climate, the racists provide a straw-man for those worried about liberty - Labour may be pretty bad, but look at this lot! They're far worse than us!

Make no mistake, any victory for the racist right is a disappointment for those of us who value what makes Britain special. But Mrs Hodge's pronouncements will only serve to fuel the opposition, for they will encourage those people who want to send a message to the government to vote for odious parties. There are less hateful groups out there - the Greens, the Nationalists, the Liberal Democrats, heck, even RESPECT is (slightly) less troublesome.

While I think about it, I've completed the West Midlands Tactical Voting Guide for next month's elections. All feedback is welcome.

permanent link
posted 17 Apr 2006, 19.19 +0100

Another year, another complete failure in the Discounted Chocolate Hunt. Looks like I'll have to pay full price next year. Grouch.

People are, of course, entitled to sell out their own privacy to whomsoever they like. It's always gratifying to see someone provide a less testing method of contact.

Saga Radio's Television Show to-day. Very much the usual suspects, which is rather disappointing. Not even the theme to Rentaghost to entertain us. Must remember to ask for the theme to Election Night next time... And for those of you in the north-east, who will be getting a Saga of your own next year, listen out for Andy Marriott - he's the chap.

By popular request, a list of the RSS feeds I'm following at least once a week. OPML file, you'll need a feedreader like Sage to use it.

permanent link
posted 17 Apr 2006, 20.04 +0100

A thought on how to resolve the political party funding row: insist that a sizable proportion of the money that's spent in one area (Westminster constituency, local council) be raised within that area. Start at a moderately low level - say, 20% - and ramp up at a fair clip to 60% after four years. The final figure has to be the majority of spending, to ensure that local money dominates, but should allow for some campaigning at a higher level. If councillors and MPs are forced to rely on the people who they represent for financial support, it would do a lot to focus their minds on the concerns of their constituents.

Why might this not happen? Ooh, that's devolution talk, that is. It reduces the central command party, something that is complete and utter anathema to the Blairite Politbureau. For more sensible party leaders - Dave, Ming, Alex - the stick is there. Go beat the corrupt with it.

permanent link
posted 18 Apr 2006, 18.32 +0100

Those of you who are still using Livejournal, the corporatist blogging-for-dummies advertising site, may wish to reflect on the postings to the No LJ Ads group. The latest development is that any popular interests can and will be disclosed to third-party companies, matched with location and age. This is, of course, a breach of privacy - this is enough information to allow an advertiser to run parallel searches and identify the small group of people - or even the one person - who meets all the criteria.

But have a look at the comments threads, especially here and here. Members of staff, people whose wages are paid by the corporatist shills, are taking some interesting stands. While they're not actively encouraging the tactics of those who wish to keep the site free of advertisements, they aren't discouraging in the slightest. Sounds like there's a hell of a lot of internal resentment at the way Six Apart is crucifying its cash-cow.

The second entry details some proposed changes to the site's terms of service that I find impossible to accept. It is not for some here to-day gone to-morrow service to dictate what I can or cannot run on my own computer, and I deeply resent the implication that it should have that power.

The whole sorry affair, of course, is a profound and complete breach of Livejournal's social contract. When they took over the site last year, former owner Bradley Fitzpatrick stated that he had personally vetted Six Apart for a lack of evilness. Mr Fitzpatrick, your evil radar has failed, and it has failed dismally.

There's also a moral and philosophical principle at stake here. A social contract is, by definition, an agreement between people to form a community. In effect, it's the underlying law of the land. Sometimes it's not written, like the British constitution; in the case of Livejournal, it's more formally codified. According to Thomas Hobbes, who invented the concept of the social contract, authority and obligation are based on the individual self-interests of members of society. All individuals are equal to one another, no single individual is invested with any essential authority to rule over the rest. No individual may impose their will on the rest of the community without the assent of everyone else. In particular, no individual may modify the community's underlying structure without explicit common consent.

From this position, it is clear that the recent changes to Livejournal have, piece-by-piece, undermined the site's community spirit and replaced it with a feudal relationship. As the people who claim title to the servers, Six Apart are the barons; the people who work the servers as dispensible as serfs. Compare this with Rousseau's view, that the social contract establishes a government that purports to guarantee equality and protection for all, even though its true purpose is to fossilize the inequalities that the creation of private property has produced. Only in this failing situation, one that Rousseau saw as completely abhorrent, can a selfish individual act to promote their interest at the expense of the community's best interests. Only here can the social contract be changed through unilateral fiat.

What is a right-thinking person to do in this situation? It is not worth attempting to convince Six Apart of the destruction they have wrought upon their property, for the company was founded by morons and run by imbeciles. These people only recognise Hobbes as an associate of Calvin, to whose theories of predestination as manifested by wealth they whole-heartedly concur. They would not know a community if it came up and hounded them out of their cosy office. They do not realise that social technology works only because of social norms to act with honour. They do not realise that by acting in this dishonourable way, Six Apart kills its own society, kills its own source of riches, kills its own future.

The only thing left to do is to learn from this tragedy of the commons, to prevent such an avoidable disaster from recurring. It would be wrong to lever out such plants as have taken root, but it would be right to sow no more seeds. To do so would be to contribute further to a morally indefensible act.

permanent link
posted 18 Apr 2006, 19.42 +0100

Shelly at Burningbird has an interesting article. This is hardly news. To-day's interesting article is on Wikipedia's preference for process over truth. One of the site's leading contributors was born "danah boyd", lower-case throughout. Wiki insists on the erroneous capitals. Why? In a nutshell: Wikipedia is not for placing "the truth", it is for placing summaries of information that is already published in other credible news sources. In short, it's not enough to be right, one must be seen to be right. Memo to self: find an alternative source of links for Mastermind summaries.

permanent link
posted 19 Apr 2006, 19.54 +0100

Beginning with some light relief: the Dredsen Dolls in het Grauniad.

Sometimes it is best to bowl full tosses; sometimes, only a full-on googly will do. I'll come back to this in a week or so.

While I'm in the particular groove, allow me to revisit the concept of the social contract in light of to-day's headline that the government proposes to scrap payments to victims of judicial error.

As I see it, the social contract for law and order is as follows. From amongst our number, the people appoint some day-to-day guardians of the peace (the police), some wise elders to judge the truth of some allegations (magistrates), and reserve judgement ourselves for other allegations (jury cases).

When we find that someone has been the victim of an offence against our shared standards of law and order, we award some money as recompense, as an awkward gesture of apology. This applies equally to those who are the victim of crime as to those who have been incorrectly found guilty of an offence.

Those who would claim to lead us wish to reduce the amount paid to those convicted in error. The only reason that they can produce is to reduce the amount spent on such compensation.

This, sadly, is yet another case of a small cabal mistaking their transient popularity for a mandate to re-shape society. If we wished to reduce the amount paid to victims of judicial error, we would prevent the problem at its roots. We would ensure that the magistrates are drawn from across society as a whole, and are not merely drawn from the middle and upper classes. We would ensure that young people were properly educated about society's expectations of orderly behaviour, and that these expectations were enforced with greater rigour. These would be the best ways to cut the bills, by allowing those we entrust to guard the peace to do their jobs in a calmer, more focussed manner.

And we would accept that mistakes do happen, and we would honestly admit our errors, and attempt to make amends. To-day's proposals only serve to cut corners, only serve to reduce the importance of a legal system that puts accuracy first.

But let's end with some more light relief. I think we need to know where the government stands on party funding. Keith Vaz, Labour.

permanent link
posted 19 Apr 2006, 20.25 +0100

Entertained to hear Juliana Hatfield's Spin the bottle on t'radio this afternoon. Memories of compiling the so-called unofficial cds, and putting together an early themed Big Brother review. (Gosh, remember when the Week did Big Brother reviews...) But how would they cope with the line He is such a fu'er at 1.30 in the afternoon? Simple: cut the line entirely.

permanent link
posted 20 Apr 2006, 20.40 +0100

Or, One more marketing tentacle of Corporateamerica.

I'll return to the concept of the social contract in due course, once I've thought about it further. But does anyone remember Fizz Ed, the opener of the final season of Daria? In which the head-teacher Ms Li allows soft drink companies to bid on an exclusivity agreement for Lawndale High, and in exchange for some product placement and a few unobtrusive ads, the school will get USD 50,000. This being the world of Daria, things go a little bit awry.

Now have a look at the latest comments thread on the inevitable failure of Six Apart's latest cash grab. More clicks! More adverts! More income! More cola! More! More! More! (ctd ward 94)

permanent link
posted 20 Apr 2006, 20.44 +0100

This was, I believe, a Friday Five in late March.

1* of the various cultures, ethnicities or nationalities you belong to, which most strongly do you consider yourself?

For moderately trivial reasons, that would be Mercian.

2* is there a culture you cannot claim heritage from but which you feel quite close to?

The Mercians from the Severn valley, rather than the Trent drainage basin. The places I've lived in have always been within a few miles of the watershed - indeed, I cross from one to the other most days - but always in the side that's pulled to the north-east, towards Nottingham and Hull, rather than to the south-west, towards Worcester and Gloucester.

3* what's one language you wish you knew fluently?

German. Then I could ditch pay-cable for a free satellite system, and not notice the difference. Anyone found the Babelfish yet?

4* if you could move anywhere in the world and be guaranteed a job, etc., where would you go?

Anywhere in the world? Blimey. St John's would be fantastic, so would the likes of Halifax, Charlottetown, Kitchener. Berlin is a possibility, so is somewhere in Belgium (though not Brussels), and I seriously considered moving to the Netherlands a few years back. But there are millions of places I could get to know and love, don't, and probably never will. Closer to home, I wouldn't say no to a place in the lower Severn valley, somewhere around Cheltenham or Stroud.

5* if you had a time machine, and could witness any one event without altering or disturbing it, what would you want to see?

I think it's best that it be an Entertainment, something that my presence (or absence) wouldn't affect in any way. Maybe a Shakespeare opening, a Gilbert and Sullivan work, a Flanders and Swann performance. Perhaps the NME Awards Concert 1964, or to be 100m from the finish at this year's Biathlon World Championships as Poiree fell then recovered to pass Bjorndalen.

permanent link
posted 20 Apr 2006, 20.59 +0100

An experimental return of The Intelligent Radio Times, a guide to programming with brains.

The Third Programme

Sunday is St Gooddoctormark's Day, and the Third will be playing English music all day. The Sunday Gala (2pm) is with Thomas Allen and Malcolm Martineau, and Music Matters (6pm) tries to define contemporary English music. The Feature (8pm) looks at Shakespeare and Englishness.

Later, Hubert Parry is the Composer of the Week, and the evening concerts are with Janet Baker. Talk of the week is on Thursday night at 9.30, asking if there could ever be another General Strike.

The Home Service

Coverage of Mrs Mountbatten's eightieth birthday continue; Miles Kington traces the acceptable sort of joke (10.30am Saturday). Daniel Barenboim's polemics under the guise of the Reith Lectures argue that political correctness robs society of the ability to make value judgements (10.15 Saturday) and music is the leveller of all (9am Friday).

The Teatime Talk is by William Hartston on scientific mudslinging (3.45 weekdays), and there's a look at the Great Serbia and Montenegro Eurovision War at 8.30 Monday. Pick of the comedy is That Mitchell and Webb Sound (6.30 Thursday).

BBC7

Journey Into Space gets a welcome repeat from the start, beginning with Operation Luna (6pm and midnight Saturday). To mark the occasion, his Space Force serial gets an omnibus airing (9am and 8pm Saturday). Friday's episode is Make Short Comedy Programmes The Burkiss Way (8am, 12 noon, 7pm).

Oneword

New books this week: Delilah Alone (6.30 Monday, 5 parts); The Symposium (7pm Tuesday, 12); Remembrance of Things Past (10pm Tuesday, 8), Purgatory (10.30 Thursday, 11); My Life as a Fake (7.30 Friday, 18).

The Fourth Programme

Mozart at the Barbican on Saturday evening, with another chance to miss that ludicrous Bob Dylan documentary from last year on Sunday. With Mark Lawson Talking At Griff Rhys Jones on Monday, and the rubbish Lefties on Tuesday, it's almost as though the Fourth has given up on good programmes. Hope comes on Thursday in Northern Renaissance, arguing that modern art came out of the Netherlands and not Italy.

TV5Monde Europe

C'est une Editione Speciale Questions pour un Champion ce samedi, avec les célébrités. Ou sont çes personnes? Ah, c'est sur la grande quatre point zone (20.01 Sa). Invité à Acoustic (9.47 Sa, 0.17 et 15.31 Su) est Florent Pagny pour sa nouvel album «Abracadabra». Et, bien sur, La Cible est en cible toutes les jours.

PBS

How does South Pacific get to Carnegie Hall? Find out at 9pm Wednesday, but do check local listings.

CBC-tv

Is it hockey season? How else do we explain the presence of so many listings stating: Conference quarterfinal, teams TBA. Watch out for My Ancestors were Rogues and Murderers, a balance to the McCartneyite blast against the Newfoundland seal hunt, but that's only airing in the eastern provinces (7pm Wednesday).

ABC Radio National

Saturday's Lingua Franca (3.45) discusses how the bible became a book, and what this meant for ancient scholars. Hindsight (2pm Sunday) looks at the end of the eight hour day.

CBC Radio Two

Tapestry (2pm Sunday) looks into happiness, and if it is indeed next to godliness. Earlier, The Singer and the Song (1pm) has the only eastern orthodox easter celebration we know. And Wednesday's In Performance is a concert in memory of the victims of Chernobyl.

permanent link
posted 21 Apr 2006, 18.53 +0100

Part three of this year's Reith lectures, and Daniel Barenboim tries to argue that classical music is not the preserve of the elite, and that political correctness stops us from making value judgements.

Well, that's the press spin. In reality, as anyone who tries to follow the dense text of the official transcript will observe, Mr Barenboim continues to give an airing to his prejudices and opinions, but does not attempt to adduce any facts in support of his positions.

His lectures aren't dull, not by any chalk, but Mr Barenboim is delivering a monologue. He isn't trying to convince anyone of the merit behind his ideas. This year's isn't going to go down as a particularly useful contribution to the history of the Reith lecture. I'm getting off the cart here.

permanent link
posted 22 Apr 2006, 12.53 +0100

Off to the barbers' this morning, and it struck me that I've always patronised shops that were a little old-fashioned, a little stuck in their ways. The one near me is a case in point. It's got wooden panels stuck to the wall, half-obscuring the natural light through the window. The trimphone never rings, and some little styptic pencils (whatever they are) are attached to pieces of card. Cabinets where the barber keeps his scissors and mirrors and goodness knows what else are fronted with white plastic and brown trimming, as if they've not been changed since the days of Musical Youth. And the price-board is made up of individual letters and numbers, charging 750p (the "new" of our pence is assumed) for a trim.

And the barber himself, a lovely old fellow, passes the time by talking about his golf, and his holidays, and his golfing holidays, and finishes by asking if I'd like something for the week-end. It really is like stepping back through a time-warp.

Which could explain why I've been watching the last few weeks of the 2003 Star Academy series. The lesbian sex romp that was Alex and Carolynne's interpretation of Love Shack, Alistair's very good Bring it on, and Richard Park and Patrick Kielty taking all the fun out of the programme and turning it into their personal spatdom.

In retrospect, there really was no point to the week-of-four; after Alistair had pipped James to second place in the previous week's public vote, the remaining contestants had voted to eject the popular James rather than the unpopular Carolynne, ensuring that the final two was always going to be Ali and Alex. The result? Poor performances, everyone going through the motions, and it's not even as though Peter Brame used the extra exposure to turn himself into the Pete Doh'erty you can take home to your mother, though he did get into Fearne Cotton to make every male viewer jealous. And what was with the performances in the first half of the final, eh? Last night nerves all round, though rescued tremendously by some corkers in the 9pm finale.

permanent link
posted 22 Apr 2006, 14.30 +0100

Hullo. Nice place you've got here, the decor goes well with my paint. Mystic Mug here with the very latest news from the 2006 Prediction Competition.

The viewer response sugarbowl has been brimming to overflowing this month, with pictures of The Mystic Mug Memorial Mug Tree. This is where last year's prize money went, something useful for the winner to remember me by. I'm touched, I'm uplifted, which is all good news for a hard-working piece of crockery.

But I sense you're itching for the latest news on who might be winning enough money to buy a MMMMT of their own. Wait no longer, for the Dollar Dot is here. At close of business last night, one Canadian dollar would have bought you 1.18054 Australian dollars. This comes as a surprise to almost no-one, and there are points for everyone!

Chicken Feet 1.3
Jiggers 9.3
Quirks 10
O'mel 10
Weaver 11
Brig 11.2
Cheekbones 11.3

A fantastic result, putting no less than 64 new pence into the prize pot. That's more than doubled the prize, which now stands at £1.23. The full standings are at the usual place.

See you again soon!

M. Mug

permanent link
posted 22 Apr 2006, 14.48 +0100

Many happy returns for yester-day to the original Coble. Many happy returns for to-day to The Good Doctor, and many quacks to the soon-to-be Mrs Pokery. May each of your days, and all of your years, bring you much happiness and joy.

Separated at birth: Anne Roumanoff, winner of last night's Questions pour un Champion Speciale and Lisa Waltz, the loud-mouth from Texas.

A quick trawl through the websites of the Sunday papers. I want my money back shouts a donor commercial lender to the Labour party, whose nomination for a peerage has been turned down... Peter Kellner writes on how a surge of far-right support is nothing new - and never lasts. He doesn't make the salient point that it's only ever happened during a left-wing government... £322 million for the Metro extension in the West Midlands. That's approximately two months' expense in Iraq.

Campaigning for the local elections ramped up last week. If you're in the West Midlands, and are unsure how to vote for change, we can help with ward-by-ward suggestions. The best policy put forward by the Labour party was to, er, launch a personal attack on the leader of the opposition. It's backfired tremendously, and Dave the Chameleon - a cuddly little fluffy character that changes its skin - will no doubt be a tremendous hit* in the seasonal market.

It did prompt one well-known internet pollster to ask its panel to compare politicians with animals. The beasts consulting their animal lawyers were:

• Leech
• Tiger
• Cat
• Bear
• Snake
• Chimp
• Chameleon
• Tortoise
• Fox
• Labrador
• Mouse
• Dove
• Vietnamese pot-bellied pig
• Octopus
• Dolphin
• Shark

The politicos waiting nervously in the wings:

• Tony Blair
• David Cameron
• Gordon Brown
• John Prescott
• Cherie Blair
• Ming Campbell
• Margaret Thatcher
• Boris Johnson
• Nelson Mandela
• Candidate X

Did anyone make the bad pun about Mister Tony Bear? Is Gordon a leech on the economy? Did anyone find Boris at all foxy? And, given the absence of a single-celled amoeba, does anyone seriously suggest the last answer should not be chimp? Literally seconds of fun for all the family there.

(Once I've found the results of the poll, I'll let you know what I put.)

permanent link
posted 23 Apr 2006, 12.39 +0100

 20 19 Mary J Blige / U2 - One
*19 NE Tobias Regener - I still burn
 18 13 Pigloo - Le papa pingouin
 17 16 Zutons - Why won't you give me your love
*16 re Rosenstolz - Ich bin ich (wir sind wir)
 15 10 Corinne Bailey Rae - Put your records on
 14 14 Diams - La boulette
*13 17 Pussycat Dolls - Beep
 12  8 Najoya Bejel - Gabriel
 11  9 Eros Ramazzotti / Anastacia - I belong to you
*10 re Beverley Knight - Piece of my heart
* 9 12 Kooks - Naive
* 8 15 Zucchero - Baila marena
  7  2 Depeche Mode - Suffer well
  6 11 Juanes - La camisa negra
  5  4 Orson - No tomorrow
  4  3 Embrace - Nature's law
* 3  6 Sugababes - Red dress
* 2  5 Pink - Stupid girls
* 1  1 Kelly Clarkson - Because of you

Best thing I've heard all week is Karmah's version of Just be good to me, currently riding high in the German charts. It's the words from the SOS Band hit, coupled to the tune of the Police's Every breath you take. Or, if you prefer, the melody of I'll be missing you with the lyrics of Dub be good to me.

Week four for Berekeley, and let's just hope they get some decent opposition next week. Rhianna (5-2) and Infernal (34-4) got their physical releases, as did Fall Out Boy (26-8). Highest new entry proper is from Deep Dish, taking the vocals of Stevie Nicks on a cover of her Dreams record. It's a number 14 hit, so somewhat smaller than the Corrs' cover from 1998. The Flaming Lips have a surprise hit, The yeah yeah yeah song lands at 16 on full release. Richard Ashcroft's second single isn't as good, as well-played, or as popular as the first, Music is power lands at 20.

Lower down, All I have is a number 30 hit for Snow Patrol, but it's on downloads only this week. Juanes' massive European hit La camisa negra finally gets a UK release, and number 32 isn't exactly bad for a foreign-language hit. Better than A-ha, Cosy prisons creeps in at 39. Just under the top 40 on downloads are Chicane and Tom Jones, Nina Simone, Dirty Pretty Things, Will Young, and Wolfmother. Missing completely are Katie Meluaargh (52), and Russell Watson's massacre of Can't help falling in love (69).

X-Factor winner Shayne Ward has the new number one album, ahead of the Zutons' new record. Guess which act will still be around next year. Peter Grant is ten years behind the fashion - doing pop songs as though one were a lounge singer is so 1996, and Richard Cheese has cornered the market recently. Anyway, Peter lands at 8, the second most successful comedy album of the week, behind the Streets. The Charlatans enter at 10, and a terrific number of greatest-hits albums re-enter lower down, thanks to a promotion in one of the leading stores. Ashcroft and Fall-Out do well to rise in this climate.

Here's the good stuff on the singles listing:

 6  7 Kooks - Naive
 7  4 Orson - No tomorrow
 8 26 Fall Out Boy - Dance dance
12 11 Pink - Stupid Girls
13 10 Corinne Bailey Rae - Put your records on
16 56 Flaming Lips - Yeah yeah yeah song
21 12 Embrace - Nature's law
24 20 Zutons - Why won't you give me your love?
30 NE Snow Patrol - You're all I have (dl)
32 NE Juanes - La camisa negra
37 25 Sugababes - Red dress
39 NE A-ha - Cosy prisons
41 37 Kelly Clarkson - Walk away
44 30 Beverley Knight - Piece of my heart
45 NE Dirty Pretty Things - Bang bang you're dead (dl)
46 42 Source - You got the love
48 43 Fall Out Boy - Sugar we're going down
56 65 Sigur Ros - Hoppipolla
62 29 Lorraine - I feel it
66 62 Jose Gonzalez - Heartbeats
72 68 Arctic Monkeys - When the sun goes down

permanent link
posted 23 Apr 2006, 19.41 +0100

Spring has arrived, but brought with it a week of showers.

17 Mo sunny spells         6/13
18 Tu cloud, showers       6/13
19 We showers              7/11, 5.5
20 Th showers              9/13, 3.5
21 Fr cloud                9/14. 0.5
22 Sa cloud to sun         6/14
23 Su drizzle, cloud       9/13, 0.5

Two degree heating days this week, the winter's total creeps up to 802½. There's probably another month before the total will finally stabilise, but we'll surely not see more than 20 degrees added to the total.

permanent link
posted 23 Apr 2006, 19.46 +0100

older writing... write to