Another historic set from the Cat.

1* five songs about death.

. Colonial pie - Don McLean
. Everyone's favourite UK number one single, Iron Maiden's Bring your daughter to the slaughter.
. Montague and Capulet - Prokofiev. OK, it's not actually about death, but it's dripping with portent, probably more so than the actual death scenes. Spoiler? Naah. This play fell out of spoiler warnings around 1590.
. Where the wild roses grow - Nick Cave and some tuneless shrimp.
. Mack the knife - Bobby Darin; other versions are also available.

2* five songs about heaven.

. Moments in love - Art of Noise. Not that it's actually about heaven - indeed, it's not about anything in particular - but it is the music played by the Harpies in ante-heaven.
. Hands to heaven - Breathe. Corks, whatever happened to them, eh?
. ...And that's no lie - Heaven 17. Glenn and Martin tended to write songs about social issues, but there was always a spiritual element about their work. This six-and-a-half-minute opus is perhaps their most overtly religious commentary.
. Oblivious - Aztec Camera. A song for gloriously sunny late spring days, one to shout from the roof-tops. Which explains why it was a single in, er, December.
. Cloud eight - Frazier Chorus. It's intelligent quirk-pop. Fill in the gaps yourself. Or not.

3* five songs about hell.

. Going underground - The Jam. The song's not about a nuclear war like Paul Well'er wants us to think, but is in fact about his regular commute on the Piccadilly line from his swish pad in London's Expensive Chiswick.
. Devilgate drive - Suzi Quatro. Another favourite of the Harpies, I'm given to understand.
. Seasons of love - Jonathan Larson. For reasons we do not need to go into at this time.
. God save the king - trad. It seems that all national anthems of countries calling themselves "United" are shit. This dirge is a prime example, and could usefully be replaced by - for instance - Barwick Green. Or Land of Hope and Glory. Or some arrangement of Salute to Thames. But not...
. Bye bye baby - Jemini. Curiously, the one disaster from 2003's otherwise-perfect Eurovision Song Contest has exactly the same structure as The star-spangled banner. This cannot be a coincidence.

4* five albums you own/have owned that define you.

. Heaven or Las Vegas - Cocteau Twins
. The Piano Concerto - Michael Nyman
. Modern Life is Rubbish - Blur
. Ancient and Modern - Anne Dudley
. Among the Suns - Brainstorm

5* five guilty pleasure bands/artists.

I absolutely refuse to have guilty pleasures - all good music is good, and if other people want to snigger at it, that is their problem. Though I do feel a twinge of naff when purchasing candy pop, like yer Tatus or yer Annies.

permanent link
posted 10 Apr 2006, 21.42 +0100

Friday the 13th fell on a Thursday this year. Happy 25th to Vamp Willow, and happy umpteenth to Urbanophile.

And apropos of a very, very old discussion in another place, Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order? Actually, we know the answer to that. It was me, Brian Perkins. I put the alphabet into alphabetical order.

permanent link
posted 13 Apr 2006, 18.24 +0100

The unexpected sight of Durham's director of education saying, "We are about to witness the beginning of the end of our public education system." And the head of a leading city school says "The Government restricts the positives because of their policies.".

Another fine success for the cauliflower-eared one: Control orders breach human rights. "The issue raised in these proceedings is whether the act gives the respondent the fair hearing to which he is entitled. The answer to that question is no... Rights under the convention are being determined not by an independent court... but by executive decision-making untrammelled by any prospect of effective judicial supervision."

Victim of rapist won't get her hands on his money. Mrs A was raped by Iorwath Hoare in 1988; he was convicted of the offence the next year, and eventually served sixteen years in jail. While on day release near the end of his sentence, Mr Hoare bought a ticket for the national lottery, and won £7.2 million. His victim tried to sue, suggesting that the usual six-year limitation rule should be set aside. "No" was the answer from the court, but it did suggest that future cases, since the HRA came into effect, may get a different answer.

Billie Piper is the sweet-heart of eight-year-old boys, claims a scribbler in the Daily Hell. That's to be compared with 2000, when she was the sweet-heart of one thirty-eight year old boy.

The Italian election, then, and it's a squeaker of a win for the left-wing, led by Romano Prodi. Defeated ex-prime minister Berlusconi refuses to let go of the reins of power, for he knows he is a crook and will be swimming in jail before there are sharks in the Tiber. Has he been following the lead of the Corporatists in the colonies?

The Drogna Game, and other assorted mazes.

This year's Reith Lectures are given by Daniel Barenboim, the conductor. His chosen topic is the place where society and music meet. His first lecture, broadcast last week-end, was a selection of points without an underlying theme. Sound is transient, and, er, that's it. Lecture 2, to be broadcast this week-end, promises his insights into muzak. (Spoiler: He's against it.) That's 9.02 Friday morning and 10.15 Saturday evening on Radio 4, or 7pm Sunday (UK time, Europe feed) on the World Service, or by MP3 file on the BBC website from Friday.

permanent link
posted 13 Apr 2006, 20.03 +0100

On the day that it emerged Roobarb had known the secret to life, the universe, and everything all along, this was the Friday Five for 14 April 2006.

1. What's your favorite holiday (besides Thanksgiving/Christmas)? Giving thanks for not being a damned Yankee -- that's every day. Of public holidays, it's probably the four-day April break, because it's a four-day break. Of real celebrations, it's got to be Samhain.

2. What's your favourite Easter memory? Erm, crikey. Probably easter 2003, in the middle of a heatwave, I'd just come back from seeing Jae-and-Edith, and life was sweet.

3. Will you be doing an egg hunt this year? No.

4. Marshmallow Peeps or Chocolate Bunny? Did someone mention chocolate?

5. How do you plan to spend your weekend? In some order: shopping in the city centre, gardening when the weather improves, cleaning the house, and generally relaxing.

To-day was a nose round the city centre, and doing some of the gardening. It was a very productive trip out; one of the books in the city centre's charity store was Bob Monkhouse's out-of-print autobiography Crying With Laughter; a quick flick through the opening chapters suggests that I'm going to have an awful lot of fun reading it, and almost as much fun adding bits to the myriad UKGS entries. It'll be a bittersweet day when Carol Vorderman records her seventeenth show, as will inevitably happen in the forseeable future.

Other top Stuff was the album by My Latest Novel. They're a five-piece band from Glasgow, with a sound that's not a zillion miles from the Arcade Fire's - big, expansive, sweeping statements. Music to listen to properly.

Which was also the subject of the second in this year's Reith Lecture series, Daniel Barenboim's much-heralded rant against muzak. Actually, that does him a dis-service; it was a rant against the way society abhors silence, which he compared to the way it tries to surpress anything that might possibly be described as a negative emotion. Highlight of the question period was a rap performer declining to defend the quality of much of his genre, because it is indefensible.

And speaking of classical music, would someone at the BBC please care to explain why Young Musician of the Year 2005-6 takes place in the middle week of May, leading to a live final on Saturday 20 May. There may not be a huge cross-over between that contest and the Eurovision Song Contest, but it's not zero, and it rather disenfranchises the viewers who don't want to watch some form of musical performance that night.

There's a depressing lack of variety to the holiday schedules, especially on the commercial channels. But all credit to one of the cable music channels for declaring this Bad Friday, and putting on a day of what might correctly be described as Tat. Steps, Bros, the Kids From Fame, S Club Howevermany, Five Star, more Steps. And, just for variety, the 20 Worst Reality TV Performers. A list that should not include David Sneddon or Alistair Griffin, but did.

permanent link
posted 14 Apr 2006, 19.14 +0100

Curious sight of the day came early, just as I was returning from the shopping, and chanced to look up. A bi-plane! Perhaps two hundred feet behind it, a mono-plane. Both were flying low, both were flying along the line of the M42, perhaps heading for an air-show somewhere. Remarkable.

Is it coincidence that the Indytab should call Lady Sovereign the "fourth biggest chav in Britain" opposite a profile of Chelsea Davey, the "chav princess". Or is it just that the newspaper has forgotten to pay its adjective tax, and has had to grub around for words from back-street dealers? I think we should be told, the sooner the better.

The Man In The White Suit, he says things are worse than ever. Martin Bell, the former anti-sleaze MP for Tatty, reckons that Mister Tony Blair should suspend the appointment of new peers until the cash-for-ermine row is sorted out. The squeaky-clean Mr Bell says Labour is more corrupt than the Conservatives.

On Monday, the Third Programme will be broadcasting Wagner's Ring Cycle. In full. All sixteen hours of it. Everything I know about this magnum opus I learned from those great cultural paragons Mr Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny, Esq. All together now... "Kill the wabbit! With my spear and magic helmet! Etc!"

Dominik Diamond pulls out of own crucifixion, citing a direct instruction from his god. "Having experienced the humility of bearing my own cross through the streets, I felt my god wanted me only to pray at the foot of my cross." We were unable to contact Mr Diamond's deity for a comment, as the switchboard operator always put us through to some xylophone music. Must be holiday relief cover.

In other news, I've re-written the UKGS article on Raven, bringing it up to date, and putting it in some form of chronological order. We have the information, someone is going to ask about it in the future, so it would be a failure not to use it. Too much information about recent television has fallen into the Memory Hole - for instance, does anyone remember anything about Hypotheticals, a discussion programme about things that might happen? Ten Alps' website says that it was a regular programme on BBC-2 through the 1990s, but that's just about the limit of the online info. Was it a fore-runner of The Bunker - Crisis Command: Can You Ruin The Country? Was it an earnest talking shop that would now struggle for space on The Fourth Programme? Down in the Memory Hole, it is.

permanent link
posted 15 Apr 2006, 19.27 +0100

Tobias Regner may not have won the vote to become Germany's entry at next month's Eurovision, but he has won the race to be this week's best selling single there - I still burn beats out Bob Sinclar and the people who will be going to Athens, Texas Lightning. Our second-favourite European group, Reamonn, are back with Promise. Mmm, good stuff. Unlike France, where that bloody penguin is still holding off a superior record from Zucchero; and unlike Sweden, where Carola and the Rednex book-end the top ten. And in Denmark, Trine Dyrholm's back at the number one slot she's occupied almost every week since late 2004.

 20  8 Madonna - Sorry
*19 NE Mary J Blige / U2 - One
 18 17 Placebo - Song to say goodbye
*17 NE Pussycat Dolls - Beep
*16 NE Zutons - Why won't you give me your love
 15 12 Zucchero - Baila marena
 14 10 Diams - La boulette
*13 NE Pigloo - Le papa pingouin
*12 NE Kooks - Naive
 11 re Juanes - La camisa negra
 10  6 Corinne Bailey Rae - Put your records on
  9  7 Eros Ramazzotti / Anastacia - I belong to you
* 8 16 Najoya Bejel - Gabriel
* 7 15 Sugababes - Ugly
* 6 re Sugababes - Red dress
  5  4 Pink - Stupid girls
  4  2 Orson - No tomorrow
* 3  3 Embrace - Nature's law
* 2  9 Depeche Mode - Suffer well
* 1  1 Kelly Clarkson - Because of you

In the UK, Gnarlsh Barkeley remains at the top for a third week, beating off the stiff challenge of Shayne Ward, the only X-Factor winner still to have a record deal. Rhianna's SOS enters at position 5 on downloads alone; it's not a cover of the ABBA track. Rather alarmingly, X-Fools loser Chico goes back up from 26 to 13, which is just wrong. Kelly Ro-land, Jamie Foxx, and Hard-Fi are all new in the top twenty after charting on downloads last week. Top Norwegian band Lorraine make 29 with I feel it, the curse of the Popjustice podcast strikes yet again. Heaven help Shelly Poole when her single comes out. Hit of the summer, From Paris to Berlin charts on downloads - that's Infernal's track, the hit of summer last year. Beneath the 40 lie the careers of Mark Innocent man Morrison, ten years since his number one hit Return of the crap. The Flaming Lips chart on downloads only. And ha! to Death Cab for Cutie - the major-label sell-outs limp to position 69.

For the albums, new Streets, new number one, shame it's another pile of turgid hickery, almost as bad as Hayley Westernera (new at 16). Greatest hits from Don Williams and Roberta Flack also enter.

Here's the good stuff on the singles listing:

 4  4 Orson - No tomorrow
 7  5 Kooks - Naive
10 11 Corinne Bailey Rae - Put your records on
11 10 Pink - Stupid Girls
12  7 Embrace - Nature's law
20  9 Zutons - Why won't you give me your love?
25 22 Sugababes - Red dress
26 NE Fall Out Boy - Dance dance (dl)
29 NE Lorraine - I feel it
30 24 Beverley Knight - Piece of my heart
37 33 Kelly Clarkson - Walk away
41 14 Franz Ferdinand - The fallen
42 34 Source - You got the love
43 35 Fall Out Boy - Sugar we're going down
47 NE Duels - Animal
48 50 Kelly Clarkson - Because of you
51 NE Crimea - White Russian galaxy
56 NE Flaming Lips - Yeah yeah yeah song (dl)
61 25 Belle & Sebastian - The blues are still blue
62 68 Jose Gonzalez - Heartbeats
65 57 Sigur Ros - Hoppipolla
68 58 Arctic Monkeys - When the sun goes down
70 37 Editors - All sparks
74 70 Hilary Duff - Fly
75 39 Royal Ballet Sinfonia / Gavin Sutherland
  - Radio 4 UK theme

permanent link
posted 16 Apr 2006, 19.29 +0100

A somewhat warmer week, the first sustained week of warmer weather this spring.

10 Mo sunny spells        -1/10
11 Tu rain, sun later      3/12, 7.5
12 We sunny spells         4/12
13 Th sunny spells        10/14
14 Fr sun                 11/15
15 Sa cloud                7/15
16 Su cloud, sun later    10/14

10 degree heating days this week, the winter's total moves up to 800½.

permanent link
posted 16 Apr 2006, 19.49 +0100

older writing... write to