The quarterly report from RAJAR came out this week, giving the listening figures for the three months to last December. The cited figures are for reach (listeners per week - millions for national stations, percentage for locals) and average hours per person per week. The figures are on a weighted average over the past six ratings periods, going back to Q3 '04. For comparison, the last analysis is also around.

National stations

Radio 2 remains the nation's favourite, with 13.2 million listeners, and 3h29 per head. Radio 1 has now made three surveys above 10 million listeners, something not seen for some years. The station averages out at 10.1m / 1h55. Radio 4 is slightly down to 9.4m / 2h29.

Classic FM is now in fourth place by average reach, 6.05m / 0h55. Radio 5 has dropped just below, to 5.95m, but still attracts more hours overall - an average of 0h58 per person per week.

Kiss remains the quiet success story, still the second biggest commercial radio station in the UK at 2.35m / 0h15, even though it is only available regionally. Talkshit (2.17m / 0h23) has national distribution, and pulls in the hours, but can't rise above this level however hard it tries.

Radio 3 comes next, 2.03m / 0h15 in a quarter that didn't have too much stand-out programming. Virgin continues to slowly lose listeners, now down to 1.80m / 0h12. Maybe getting a wider range of CDs would help. World Service (1.28m / 0h08) falls back slightly from its summer position, but is still moving up the lists. At the current rate, WS will be overtaking Virgin in about four years, and that will be embarrassing.

After a good quarter last time, Xfm (662,000 / 0h05) returns to the mean, remaining ahead of BBC-7 (508,000 / 0h03) and Asian Network (465,000 / 0h03).

Of the digital-only stations, Planet Rock (303,000 / 0h02) remains just ahead of 6 Music (291,000 / 0h02).Primetime (168,000 / 0h02) will close at the end of May, just as it was beginning to take off. Oneword (122,000 / 0h01) has begun to invest in its own programming, though we reckon new owners Channel 4 are spending as much on a month's programming as they give away each day on Deal or No Deal. Core (109,000 / 0h01) more than doubled its hours this quarter. Life (77,000 / 0h01) will merge with the Capital Gold brand. The Arrow (65,000 / 0h01) and Cube (48,000 / 0h00) continue to prop up the category.

BBC local radio

Shropshire (29% / 3h33) remains top of the league, ahead of Hereford & Worcester (25%, 2h41). Leicester (22%, 2h31) is still losing hours but not listeners. Oxford (17%, 1h48) looks to have stabilised from recent losses, while Gloucestershire (16%, 1h54) has lost listeners but gained hours. The new and more local WM (15%, 1h48) will show a loss, because Coventry and Warwickshire (15%, 1h42) came on air in September, and has gained a third more hours this time round. Analogue Asian Network (5%, 0h22) accounts for over two-thirds of the national total - approximately 50% of the listening is in the West Midlands area.

Commercial local radio

Starting with the regionals, and Heart 100.7 (25%, 2h09) is still down on a year ago, showing its shift to target a younger audience wasn't brilliant. Saga West Mids (12%, 1h26) hasn't profited, but Kerrang (8%, 0h37) records its least-worst figures yet. In the East Mids, Heart 106 (16%, 1h28) has managed to lose 10% of its listeners and 20% of its hours in half a year, but again Saga East Mids (12%, 1h27) stands still.

Of the heritage ILRs, Beacon (21%, 1h51) continues to plough a similar furrow. Mercia (30%, 2h14) has lost quite significantly. Fox (34%, 3h17) is still a mile ahead of all competition in Oxfordshire. BRMB (26%, 2h08) is on the up-swing, the "Better Song" strapline has come with a stable schedule. Wyvern (25%, 2h14) records a particularly poor quarter, which will probably right itself next time.

The leading incremental FM station is still Rugby (42%, 4h14). Centre (21%, 2h00) is slightly down, Fosseway (17%, 1h45) and The Wolf (15%, 1h02) hold steady. Galaxy (17%, 1h22) is also bobbling along, but Kix 96 (22%, 1h14) and The Bear (25%. 2h45) suffered a pointless re-naming earlier this month - expect both to suffer.

Finally, the AM services. Xtra-AM (3%, 0h17) and Mercia-AM (5%, 0h34) are both slipping slightly. WABC (3%, 0h18) is slightly up.

There are no RAJAR returns for Muff Murfin's stations Sunshine or Classic Gold Wyvern, for Radio XL, or for new station The Wyre.

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posted 06 Feb 2006, 19.46 +0000

Some thoughts on the penultimate Gilmore Girls of the season. (That's season 3, people. Those of you who insist on watching one episode a day, or otherwise seeing the post-Chilton future, do not spoil. Otherwise there shall be visits from the Brendan McBabe Memorial Bat up your night-shirt.)

It's the keeping secrets episode, where Rory doesn't tell Lorelai something, Lorelai doesn't tell Rory something, and Luke doesn't tell either.

Someone will explain how come Jess was standing in the sand, wearing his donkey jacket, with anklebiters playing not two inches from his boots. That's, like, so clichéd.

In fact, how come Jess is surgically attached to his jacket in this episode? It's the seaside, people, even in May it's going to be hot enough to, like, take yer coat off.

Why is there a girl reading in the wardrobe? Oh, wait, this is Gilmore Girls, a left-turn away from the real world.

Lou and Francie are such airheads. I'm not going to miss them. Paris, surprisingly, I'm really going to miss having little miss straight-lace around. Maybe it's the similarity with me at that age. Maybe it's the hair, not the Felicity.

Miss Sea Lion is the sort of person I'd like to have around for weddings, funerals, bat mitzvahs, that kind of thing. But, darling, don't even suggest that people wear scarlet red to an event taking place on grass. You'll give people a headache. Try a shade of blue, any shade of blue. Or a contrasting shade of green.

Hurrah for Rory calling Emily a liar. And hurrah for Robin (er ... Richard. Who reminds me of Robin Day) unwittingly calling Emily's fib.

Overall: one more to go. Bwaaaaah!

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posted 07 Feb 2006, 18.39 +0000

Back to St Cromwell's College, where the dashing Dave wants the next elected school Captain (him) to have less power. In a speech on the tree-stump at the north side of the Science block, he said:

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posted 07 Feb 2006, 18.57 +0000

Fridgemagnet discusses Google's latest plans for total information domination - making a permanent record of ephemeral instant-message chats.

Like everything Google does, this may appear to be a good idea, but puts your conversations at the mercy of Google's relationship with the FARCEical Bureau of Imbecility.

Fridgemagnet says,

I got an email today with 16 bytes of content (three words plus a question mark) and 1235 bytes of header, footer and disclaimer. All that has to be indexed which slows down the whole process. The quicker I can convince people to get and use Gmail accounts for this sort of nonsense, the better, which is clearly what Google would like, and I don't mind since it’s of mutual benefit.

This is a non-argument, for two reasons.
1) What's the network overhead in sending an instant message (which has to be addressed, routed, and delivered in real time) against email (which has to be routed and delivered on a time-independent basis)?
2) Why should Google-mail be any more or less appropriate for this than Any Old POP3 Account? There is a valid argument to using IM for ephemera and email for less transient chatter, but that's not what's being argued.

Google's main aim, clearly, is to sell as much advertising space as possible, and encouraging people to remain on their site as long as possible is A Good Thing. But, people, do you want your IM chats archived in a foreign land, and mined for "concepts" that can produce targetted adverts? That's what Google wants, taking your brainpower for nothing, and selling it for pennies in the pound.

And it's leaving your chats available for further research by the FBI. That's not what Google wants, but it's what their Corporatist friends want, and - as recent events have shown - it's a non-trivial risk.

Want your chats being fished out by Donald Rumsveld and his acolytes? Use Google's chat-saving feature. Don't be evil? Don't be vile!

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posted 08 Feb 2006, 19.02 +0000

...that this Friday's edition of Friday Night is Music Night will contain a live performance from Gretchen Peters. Hurrah. (And a live commentary from Aled Jones, but let's not gripe.)

7.30 Friday evening, or via Listen Again for the following week.

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posted 08 Feb 2006, 19.43 +0000

Alex "Sparky" Parks has been dropped. Polydor Records remains obsessed with its short-term bottom line, and isn't prepared to nurture homegrown talent.

In slightly more encouraging news, here - for all the contributors in the Bother's Bar Recap Salon - is the best Deal or No Deal board you're ever going to see. Contestant Brenda left the show with £57,000.

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posted 09 Feb 2006, 18.59 +0000

Early January: "This is not merely a safe Labour seat. It's been Labour since the invention of Labour. An upset is not likely"

10 February: Dunfermline and West Fife -- LD GAIN

That shock by-election result in full:

  Willie Rennie (Lib Dem) 12,391 (35.8%, +15.6%)
  Catherine Stihler (Lab) 10,591 (30.6%, -17.1%)
  Douglas Chapman (SNP) 7,261 (21.0%, +2.1%)
  Carrie Ruxton (Cons) 2,702 (7.8, -2.5%)
- John McAllion (SSP) 537 (1.5%, -0.1%)
- James Hargreaves (SCP) 411 (1.2%)
- Thomas Minogue (AFBTP) 374 (1.1%)
- Ian Borland (UKIP) 208 (0.6%, -0.9%)
- Dick Rodgers (CG) 103 (0.3%)

LD GAIN

Butler swing: +7.3%

Most significant transfer: Lab -- LD, 16.3%

Nominal transfer matrix:
LD from Lab, +8.4%
SNP from Lab, +2.8%
LD from SNP, +1.4%
LD from C, +1.1%
SNP from C, +0.9%
C from Lab, +0.8%

The simple message: The Labour heartlands are revolting. Blair has lost touch with them, Brown isn't doing much better, and the Lib Dems are able to out-flank Labour on the left.

It's a Westminster by-election, let's bring up the Peter Snow icon and see, just for a bit of fun, what happens if we put the three-party transfers into last year's election results, fought on last year's seats...

And will you just look at that! Waves and waves of yellow paint going sweeping across the whole country! Look out! There goes Frank Dobson! There goes Charles In Charge! There goes R Kelly! There goes Tessa Jowell! There, where the yellow gusher is coming out, and not waving any more, is Gordon Brown. And there's Tony Blair's old seat - he's not standing at this election, and he wouldn't have won anyway.

Where it's not yellow, blue is the colour. But even the Conservatives are suffering from the yellow tide - Tim Yeo, John Redwood, Dr Fox, even David Davies get pooped on by the bird.

The overall result, and remember that this is just a bit of fun, the overall result is:

LD 304
C 232
Lab 73

The most likely leader of the rump Labour party: it's the oh-so-reputable David Plunkett.

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posted 10 Feb 2006, 18.54 +0000

January 1994: "The BBC has confirmed that it's ditching the Nine O'Clock News in favour of a new soap opera called The Bureau. It's set in a 24 hour bureau de change, it started just 12 seconds ago on BBC1, so let's dip into it and see what all the fuss is about.

February 1994: The huge success of the BBC's new soap opera The Bureau has now spread to Italy. They've got a daytime discussion show over there devoted entirely to it. It's called Bella Bureau, and its stars are the wagging tongues of hosts Carmena Zo and Porcamina McRae.

February 2006: The huge success of the BBC's sitcom The Office has now spread to France. They've got a version over there set in a business park north of Paris, and called Le Bureau.

In other news, CNN has unveiled its new whizz-bang graphics package. Out goes the irritating red cast to the picture, and in comes a shiny white caption telling a story in one (or more) full sentences. People are captioned with black-on-white, or white-on-black, with locations in white-on-red. The text is animated, darting about the screen like it, and not the news, was the star of the show. The channel's DOG has moved to the top-left corner, and - like CNBC last year - it looks like there's a lot more space on the screen, even though there isn't.

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posted 11 Feb 2006, 13.49 +0000

Matthew Parris, the voice of sanity in the Universal Daily Registertab, pins his colours to the mast: "For Labour, the next general election is surely lost," says the leading columnist. We'll hold you to this in four years' time, sir...

The World Biathlon (And Other Assorted Winter Sports and Entertainments) Championships began to-day, with the men's 20km race. Michael Greis was the fastest man to go five times around the course, shooting twice from standing and prone positions. He missed just one shot, and completed the course in an aggregate time of 54 minutes 19 seconds. Pre-race favourite Ole Einar Bjorndalen missed one shot at each of his first two visits to the range, and when someone else skis clear, that's not going to be enough to win. The greatest active sportsman finished second, barely 12 seconds off the pace. For much of the race, third place looked like it would go to Pavel Rostovsev of Russia, but he was beaten - by just nine-tenths of a second - by Halvard Hanevold, another Norwegian. A very impressive race by Marek Matiasko, an unheralded Slovakian, put him fifth.

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posted 11 Feb 2006, 13.55 +0000

Question Muck visited Harlot this week. Bad luck, everyone. It was meant to be a Lib Dem Leadership Special, but someone had let erstwhile chief vampire Michael Howaerd into the room. It's a cunning takeover for the creatures of the night.

He was joined by Simon Hughes (LD) and someone who looked remarkably like Phillip Schofield, but doesn't sound like Mr The Gopher's sidekick. According to the captions, this is Chris Huhne, and Mr Howaerd is appearing under the obvious pseudonym "Ming Campbell".

Difficult to pick a winner; this was a conversation between Lib Dems, and I don't think that it was one to which I was particularly invited. Howaerd - sorry, Ming - had a point that there's no point suggesting the LDs should be to the left of Labour. That they are went unacknowledged by the panel,and owes more to Labour's slide. Si Hughes wants the people to get back into politics; again, a blast at Labour there. He had a run-in over comments on his website, which have now gone. Whone was a bit anonymous, not really saying anything of note.

Loser of the week is clear: David Bumblebee, he kept walking through shot and getting in the way. Give the man a seat, these lecterns don't work.

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posted 12 Feb 2006, 11.34 +0000

To the CBSO last night for a performance by the Birmingham Contemporary Music Group. The programme was based around the work of Vic Hoyland.

Cashian: Skein (World premiere - Sound Investment commission 2006)

Opening with the new tune, a ten-minute piece centred on the piano. Just enough of a tune to keep the Classic-FM crowd listening, though I don't think they go for any atonal endings.

Hoyland: Piano Quintet

I think this was the highlight of the night; it's difficult to go wrong with five pianos and very little else. The rhythms of the piece provide a clear echo of Mr Hoyland's roots in an industrial area.

Sawer: The Memory of Water (BCMG Sound Investment commission 1993)

This one I really liked, going from something Enya might record, through the clattering work of Martland, and finishing up almost back where it started.

Birtwistle: Slow Freeze

After the interval now, and this is a piano-and-small-orchestra piece. Can't say it particularly worked, to be honest; maybe it was the come-down from the interval, but this one rather dragged on.

Hoyland: Of fantasy (BCMG Commission 1989)

Fourteen solo strings perform this work, it's almost wistful in its loneliness.

Overall, very much a Third Programme concert, though the populist network would particularly appreciate The memory of water. I think I'd have got more out of the concert if I'd been at the talk beforehand.

In other arts news, the Indytab gave over half of its culture supplement to Paul Weller. Why? It's not as though Mr Weller has had anything to say to me, he's always come across as someone who was famous because other people think he's famous, rather than from anything he's doing. Maybe it's because I came to popular music just after Mr Weller's first group, The Jam, split, and his work with the Style Council started out as a bit rubbish and went downhill quickly.

Even so, I don't think Mr Weller has produced a single record of note in the past quarter-century. His acceptance into the stuffy echelons of ROPRA must be some sort of long-service medal.

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posted 12 Feb 2006, 12.18 +0000

Big changes in Sweden, where there are no fewer than five new entries straight into the top 12. What's happening? Is it some sort of Star Academy buy-off? Enquiring minds want to know... Just as we want to know why Kelly Clarkson's song about abusive parents Because of you is included on every valentine's compilation going.

*20 NE Natasha St-Pier - Un ange frappe a ma porte
 19 re K. T. Tunstall - Suddenly I see
 18  9 James Blunt - Ubiquitous
*17 17 Pati Yang - All that is thirst
 16 12 Kent - The hjarta and smarta ep
*15 NE Nolwenn Leroy - Nolwenn ohwo!
 14 16 Black Eyed Peas - My humps
 13 19 Melanie C - First day of my life
*12 14 Juanes - La camisa negra
*11 15 Depeche Mode - A pain that I'm used to
*10 11 Bob Sinclar - Love generation
  9  8 James Blunt - Goodbye my lover
  8  6 Sugababes - Push the button
  7 10 Mattafix - Big city life
  6  3 Madonna - Hung up
  5  4 Coldplay - Talk
* 4  7 Arctic Monkeys - When the sun goes down
  3  2 Sugababes - Ugly
* 2  5 Tina Arena - Aimer jusqu'a l'impossible
* 1  1 Kelly Clarkson - Because of you

Leo Sayer. Now there's a blast from the past. His biggest hit was When I need you, which spent three very long weeks at the top of the charts in early 1977. The number of punk bands that formed as a direct result of this drivel can only be estimated, and for that we must thank Mr Sayer. Though he's not put out a new album since 1983's Have You Ever Been In Love, old Leo is back at the top of the survey to-day. Dance guru Meck has covered the single after the single after his number one, and Thunder in my heart again is now at the top of the listings, after making position 22 in '77.

Another well-travelled record is in at number 7, the Source and Candi Staton's You got the love has become one of the most fondly-remembered tunes, and one of the most-released. Originally a number 95 hit in 1986, entitled Your love and credited to Jamie Principal, the record hit number 4 in February 1991. Six years later, some bouncy remixes credited to New Voyager came out, and the tune had a number 3 hit on its hands. Another remix in late 2003 didn't set the chart on fire, peaking in the mid-50s. And now, the fifth mix hits the list and lands at position 7.

There's more good stuff lower down - Fall Out Boy climb to number 8, and in at 18 is Kubb, whose Grow does sound like Coldplay, but hasn't yet hit that "Bored now" moment. Two years after hitting the chart as the "Poppyfields", The Alarm are in at number 24 with Superchannel. We note the success of Scottish band El Presidente in making the top 40, and the failure of Uckfield performers Tatu.

Week three for the Arctic Monkeys on the albums run, with the Best Of Johnny Mathis (a very short album) climbing into the top 10. Belle and Sebastian's The Life Pursuit is the highest new entry at number 8. Lower down, the Sparks put Hello Young Lovers in at position 66 - in spite of critical acclaim, it's their first new hit album since 1979.

Here's the good stuff on the singles listing:

 5  5 Dead or Alive - You spin me round
 7 re Source - You got the love
 8 24 Fall Out Boy - Sugar we're going down
14  8 Arctic Monkeys - When the sun goes down
15 12 Ashley Simpson - Boyfriend
16 17 Jesse McCartney - Beautiful soul
18 NE Kubb - Grow
21 16 Jose Gonzalez - Heartbeats
23 28 Kelly Clarkson - Because of you
24 NE Alarm - Superchannel
28 27 Sugababes - Ugly
29 NE Bullet For My Valentine
        - All these things I hate
32 20 A-ha - Analogue
35 31 DHT - Listen to your heart
39 NE El Presidente - Turn this thing around
43 33 Arctic Monkeys
        - I bet you look good on the dancefloor
44 42 Boys Aloud - I predicate a riot
47 26 Go Team - Ladyflash
48 NE Tatu - Friend or foe
53 NE Mew - Why are you looking grave?
54 47 Sugababes - Push the button
55 39 Editors - Munich
62 44 Beth Orton - Conceived
63 68 Kelly Clarkson - Since you've been gone
64 43 Starsailor - This time
67 50 Kooks - You don't love me
72 54 Belle and Sebastian - Funny little frog
73 51 Son of Dork - Eddie's song

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posted 12 Feb 2006, 20.00 +0000

More relatively cold weather, especially through the middle of the week, when there were a couple of crisp and perfect winter days. Rain spread in on Sunday, the first day with more than 5mm (two-tenths of an inch) of rain since last year.

06 Mo cloud                4/ 8
07 Tu cloud, showers       7/ 9, 1.0
08 We sun and showers      4/ 9, 1.5
09 Th sun                  2/ 6
10 Fr sun                 -2/ 6
11 Sa mostly cloudy       -2/ 6
12 Su rain and drizzle     3/10,10.4

35 degree heating days this week, somewhat below last week's total. The winter's total goes to 522½, well above the score at this point last year 398/677½. The current figure was achieved on 1 Mar last year, a figure that has again slipped down by a day against last week.

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posted 12 Feb 2006, 20.07 +0000

older writing... write to