From Tones and I to Taylor Swift, via some less good tracks - The Snow In The Summer or So-So

12 January 2020
The number one hits of 2019

Here are all of the songs to have spent at least one hour atop the Peartunes digital sales charts during 2019. From the perspective of the end of the year, we've ranked them on the open-ended Popular scale (average is 5½, 10 is outstanding, 1 is abysmal.)

79d23h TONES AND I - Dance monkey
The year's most dominant song - almost 20% of the year on top - for a catchy and demonstrative number with great depth. It'll be remembered in years to come. TEN POINTS!
45d14h CALVIN HARRIS RAG N BONE MAN - Giant
We've little time for either performer, but this was so ubiquitous and so catchy we ended up humming along. 6.
43d20h SHAWN MENDES CAMILA CABELLO - Senorita
Camila makes this song, without her it would be tedious and noodley. 8.
42d18h ED SHEERAN JUSTIN BIEBER - I don't care
We have little time for either performer, and even by being ubiquitous we didn't end up humming along. 3.
31d10h KYGO WHITNEY HOUSTON - Higher love
A classic vocal is chopped up and mashed up with great care, and turns into more than the sum of the parts. 9.
21d13h LEWIS CAPALDI - Someone you loved
Get some singing lessons. Dull. 2.
15d08h AVA MAX - Sweet but psycho
One of the most memorable hits of the year, this woman's got a lot of talent. We await the album. 9.
11d03h SAM SMITH NORMANI - Dancing with a stranger
A profoundly dull record, we find Sam remarkably tedious. 2.
10d14h REGARD - Ride it
An old break doesn't get jazzed up by very much. 5.
08d17h LADBABY - I love sausage rolls
For all the humour, Joan Jett got a better cover from Britney Spears. 4.
06d17h LEWIS CAPALDI - Hold me while you wait
Confuses "emotional" with "pisspoor singing". 1.
06d08h MEDUZA - Piece of your heart
Perhaps the most 2019 of all the chart-toppers: vocoded vocals over a tiresome beat. 5.
05d13h TAYLOR SWIFT BRENDON URIE - Me!
Powered by candyfloss and rainbows, and then we saw the video. The sugar rush is painfully moreish. 8.
05d06h LEWIS CAPALDI - Before you go
Hasn't he taken any singing lessons yet? 2.
05d04h ARIANA GRANDE - 7 rings
Riffing off "My favourite things" in a modern and contemporary style. Far more appealing than the Big Brovaz' take about twenty years back. 7.
04d05h PINK - Walk me home
Girl power for the modern woman. 7.
04d00h AITCH - Taste (make it shake)
Must have missed this one. No score, haven't heard it.
03d13h THE X FACTOR CELEBRITIES 2019 - Run
Your 79p souvenir of a shitty series. 3.
03d10h ARIANA GRANDE ET AL - Don't call me angel
This was tremendous fun, a great song performed by three contemporary stars. Deserved to be as big as Destiny's Child from the earlier movie. 9.
02d09h LITTLE MIX - Bounce back
Not their finest hour, it's still better than much of the list. 7.
02d02h WESTLIFE - Hello my love
A limp start to the year, selling to grannies. 3.
01d19h THE RSPB - Let nature sing
It's four minutes of birdsong. 7.
01d19h KSI - Down like that
Another one we must have missed. No mark.
01d11h ARIANA GRANDE - Boyfriend
Another pleasant ditty from the hardest working star in pop. 6.
01d08h WESTLIFE - Better man
A limp part of spring, selling for Mothering Sunday. 3.
01d05h JIM RADFORD - The shores of Normandy
Powered by a Tossy Chart Campaign (©Masterton 2010) to promote ancient wars. Would have done nothing on its musical merits, of which there were none. 0.
01d03h LADY GAGA BRADLEY COOPER - Shallow
Returned to the top after its success at the AMPAS awards. 9.
01d01h MOLLY HOCKING - I'll never love again
Pop's equivalent of the Andy and Fergie tea-towel. 4.
01d01h LIAM GALLAGHER - Shockwave
A tribute to his favourite shampoo would have been more interesting. 2.
00d08h STORMZY - Vossi bop
Don't recall hearing this. No mark.
00d07h TAYLOR SWIFT - Christmas tree farm
A tale of Taylor growing up on her farm. This is going to be a classic, not just because of who's made it. 8.

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