(More: the end of the Gulf War II, USSR revolution, Eurythmics, Debbie Gibson, Dream Warriors, Jesus Loves You, and songs by Susannah Hoffs and Ned's Atomic Dustbin. There's a pairing you don't see every day!)

In all their years together, the Clash never had a top 10 hit; the number 11 peak of London calling and number 12 for Bankrobber in 1980 were as good as the group got. That was until the marketing men came along waving oodles of money, and the anarchist punks, er, sold out to them. Jeans manufacturers bought the rights to Should I stay or should I go to put behind their advert. The original had made number 17 in 1982, the group's sixteenth hit in five and a half years, and the last time they'd put a single into the top 20.

The power of commercials was sufficient to turn any number of heads, and the song was back in at number 5, then rose to number 1. Up until this point, it had been one of the many songs from the Clash's back catalogue, certainly less well-known than London calling and White riot, less controversial than Rock the Casbah, probably more accessible to the casual listener than most. After this re-release, it became a touchstone for how the original punks had sold out to corporate interests. Next thing we know, they'll be reviving Woodstock, complete with commercial sponsorship. And the group will be selling their other hits to advertise cars and guns, and this song to sell vodka.

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More catching-up of slightly old stuff.

Mr. The Soup Dragon wants tighter restrictions on immigrants to the moon. Under his proposals, new arrivals from other planets would have to live peacefully on his atmosphere-free rock for five years before applying for a pass-port. They would then be placed on probation for anything up to three years, during which time they would be expected to show commitment to the lunar community, and would be denied government benefits such as council craters and paid-for higher education. Only after this time could new immigrants get their citizenship. The member for Mare Panis Occidentalis said that this idea would create great resentment, and a former Minister of Funk said that the swift assimilation process was working to the Moon's advantage, especially when compared against such sluggardly places as Phobos, where immigrants can only claim citizenship in the third generation.

Het Graun on how the government thought about criticising Israel for flouting the United Nations as much as Iraq, thougt better of it, and tried to cover it up.

Dominic Lawson on the cult of de Bouwer.

The frenzy he has engendered contains within it the seeds of bitter disappointment [...] What will be the reaction of his supporters if he should fail to be elected president? What will be their reaction if he is elected, but the celestial choirs fail to appear and the world refuses to be perfect?

Timothy Garton Ash calls out Russia's "democracy" as the hollow sham it is. Mary Dejevsky finds flickers of democracy, but at regional levels only. No-one cares for national democracy. Let a thousand city-states flourish! (On second thoughts, don't; can you imagine the voting at Eurovision?)

Two points on the ongoing digital radio failure. GMG has announced that its Jazz FM service will return to the radio, but only in London and the North West. In part, it's a replacement for GWR's The Jazz station, which may - or may not - close at the end of March. The or may not is in because Global Radio has increased its offer first to £2.02 per share, and now to £2.25. Needless to say, GWR reckons both proposals undervalue the company, which claims Fru Hazlitt's proposals will increase value by, er, tearing it down. The owners - three merchant banks and the Daily Hell - may yet disagree.

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1. This referendum nonsense

We're entirely unsure why the press and television are giving so much coverage to an anti-European pressure group. Their tactic was to cherry-pick ten constituencies for their political value - those electors in Harlow (where the current Europe minister sits) or Redditch (this week's Interior minister) get to vote, those in Harwich and Bromsgrove don't. Then the pressure group bought the electoral roll. Or, to be exact, they bought the edited roll, the one that omits the third of people who don't particularly want to be bombarded with junk mail. Then, from this group, they selected - by a process as yet undisclosed - some electors - not all, just some - to receive their literature. After reading the bumph, no doubt carefully designed to ensure that it pushed all the emotional buttons, the lucky recipients could return a card.

So, just to summarise. Of voters in ten hand-picked constituencies, who don't give a stuff about their privacy, who survived an unknown weeding-out process, who were exposed to propaganda of a not-particularly subtle kind, and could be bothered to put a tick in a box and mail it in, one person in eight still said, No, I think you're being very silly about this. Anthony Wells gives these propagandists enough rope to hang themselves, and Steve Richards explains why referenda are subtly anti-democratic.

2. Hodge up...

Margaret Hodge, the Labour party apparatchik in charge of pandering to the lumpen proletariat, has attacked the Promenade concerts. Not because they are staid, conservative, hyped to buggery by the BBC, and only slightly more interesting than sitting in a damp field listening to cows go baa. No, Mrs. Hodge's problem is ... well, let her use her own words.

The audiences for many of our greatest cultural events - I'm thinking in particular of the Proms - is still a long way from demonstrating that people from different backgrounds feel at ease in being part of this.

I know this is not about making every audience completely representative, but if we claim great things for our sectors in terms of their power to bring people together, then we have a right to expect they will do that wherever they can.

Mrs. Hodge's problem is that she's a really poor communicator. Let's just repeat that extract, pruning some of the worst weeds in the tangled undergrowth of her verbiage. The audiences is still a long way from demonstrating that people from different backgrounds feel at ease in being part of this. If we claim great things for our sectors in terms of their power to bring people together, then we have a right to expect they will do that wherever they can.

What? And, once again, what? To our reading, it appears that Mrs. Hodge expresses doubt that some of her more dim-witted constituents won't appreciate the finer points of the Promenade concerts. Lest we forget, she represents Barking, a place that isn't exactly known for its appreciation of anything requiring any intellect, and a place that certainly elects an MP who regularly thinks down to that level.

Mrs. Hodge uses language designed to confuse, to lead people to think that Something Must Be Done without actually saying what should be done. Or who should do it, how they should do it, or even why they should do it. This week's guest interrogative: what in sodomy is she blithering on about?

Furthermore, Mrs. Hodge is falling into the trap of assuming that art and culture should be accessible to all. The fallacy that ratings are the only true measurement of worth: if it's not number one, it's not worth doing. Populist nonsense, of course. Great art is like a really good puzzle: most of the fun lies in the process of solving the challenge, not in the solution itself. If you only tackle easy sudoku, you'll quickly become bored and move on to something else. If it isn't challenging, it isn't working.

Of course there is space for a slope of cultural norms, from the flatlands of East Enders and Florizel Street up to the lofty peaks of Derrida and Schoenberg. Mrs. Hodge would rather everyone keep well below the tree-line, where she can pass as a piece of wood. Or are we confusing her with two short planks?

(See also: Overgrown Path on how to fix the Promenade concerts)

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The Minister of Funk has to-day confirmed that the identity register will be further delayed. Originally planned to be open to regular citizens by 2009, it's now been pushed to 2011.

Good? No. In a clear attempt to soften up the native populace, Mrs. Marginal proposes to extort biometric identitfication details from immigrants starting this autumn, to insist on taking details from EU citizens working in sensitive locations from next year, and to insist that everyone at the 2012 Crass Spectacle give up their blood.

Mrs. Marginal's also tinkered around with the red herring of identity cards, but these are not the main point. Mrs. Marginal's main desire is to register everyone on her magic central database. No-one - perhaps not even Mrs. Marginal - knows what this multi-billion pound project will cost, nor what she will do with this accumulated information. More: No 2 ID.

Mrs. Marginal is quite clearly playing the race card. She is saying that, just because they don't have European pass-ports, that these foreigners cannot be trusted, and must be forced to give up data that are not demanded from natural-born Brits. Why should a fine, upstanding citizen face inferior treatment just because of an accident of birth? It's not as though they had much choice in the matter.

We do not support any kind of discrimination against foreigners. We do not support any kind of discrimination against anyone. We do not support the identity database when no-one - not Mrs. Marginal, not John Oh Fuck You Read, not Herr Plunkett, not John Straw - has ever put forward any coherent reason for it to exist. It will do nothing to prevent terrorism. It will do nothing to prevent benefit fraud. It will do nothing to control access to public services.

Sometimes, we wonder if Harry Potter, the MP for this blog, isn't such a bad sort after all. Then we remember the identity register, and suddenly find ourselves thinking positively about the Eager Young Space Cadet. Or asking, what's Ireland like at this time of year?

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The latest idea from Romania: ballet dancing policemen. The city's prima policeman said, The aim is to develop an ability to regulate traffic and achieve elegance in their movements, which will not only be agreeable to the eyes but could also help drivers waiting at red lights get rid of their stress or sadness.

Good to see that there will be some cricket on UK television, for the first time since 2005. OK, it's on the subscription channel Setanta, and it's the morally-dubious Indian Premier League of 20/20 cricket. The series will run from 18 April to 1 June.

The Artful Manager argues for putting all your important data in the hands of fly-by-night shysters. Why might this not be a good idea? If they don't like you, they'll get you wiped off the planet. (While we're on the topic, a quick message to the person from oosterbad.demon.nl who came here on the cryptic referrer URL https://www.google.com/evaluation/search/rating/task-edit?task=100244344: you saw the re-direction page indicating that we tell G****e to fuck off and die. It's exactly what we want you to see. We bar G****e at the front door, but still it comes banging in. You can certainly find more productive things to do than that company's work.)

One to throw out there: Le Monde has a nifty big graphic showing which social notwork sites are most popular, where. Or: what is Hi-5, and why is it popular in Outer Mongolia?

Up with this kind of thing! To the Father Ted festival.

Breakfast, lunch, tea, and dinner: why the name given to your evening meal speaks to your social class.

Crooked Timber muses on BBC-2's nascent White season, concentrating on the "white working class". What cultural stereotypes is the Beeb perpetuating?

Radio news, and Xfm has confirmed what we knew all along: that having no DJs in the daytime was a decent idea, but the execution was awful. They'll return on 25 March, by which time we should know if GWR has agreed to be taken over by Global Radio. The managers responsible for this botched idea have left Xfm. More: Matt Deegan.

Every sexual perversion under the sun: the bits of the bible that, for some inexplicable reason, don't seem to be read by those who promote it.

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New national number ones, and other notes...
Netherlands A British scent to the top three, with Leona and Whingebag joined by Adele's Chasing pavements
Finland Blooddrunk - Children of Bodom
Sweden Twelve new and re-entries into the top 20, with Duffy's Mercy straight in at 3. Jonathan Fagerlund comes in at 4 with Playing me, and Toca's Miracle 2008 is in at 7.
France Stanislas comes in at 2 with Le manege, and Sinik at 3 with Je realise. Still no stopping Sheryfa Luna at the top, though.
Denmark LOC are in at 2 with Xxxcouture.
Norway Adele's Chasing pavements comes in at 7.
Estonia High time Ines was back: Keerlen's in at 13.
Ireland The ballad of Ronnie Drew takes over at the top, it's a various artist performance; Pestside climb into the top 6.

Missing the top 100 entirely are Jordin Sparks, the quondam Pop Idleus winner; Cascada covering Monaco on What do you want from me, Fightstar, and Darren Hayes. Entering just shy of the 75 is James Dean Bradfield's take un Umbrella, and the Children of Bodom. Yay, Finnish talent in the chart!

Lots of new stuff at the lower end of the top 75: Amy MacDonald props up the survey with Run, Estelle and Gnarls Barkley both have new entries. Gabrielle Cilmi's in at 68, Envy And Other Sins at 65, and Leona has a re-entry for Footprints in the sand at 63. Elsewhere, a new peak for Vampire Weekend's A-punk at 55, MGMT enter at 54 with Time to pretend, the Mystery Jets land at 48 with Young love, and KT Tunstall's If only flies in to 45.

In at 40 come Hercules and Love Affair with the surprisingly decent dancey track Blind. Jimmy Eat World have their first top 40 hit since 2004 as Always be enters at 37. One place higher for Doug Walker with The mystery. The Sugababes storm up 30 places to 34 with Denial, and Get Cape Wear Cape Fly land at 33 with Find the time. It's not a Five Star cover, for which we can be thankful; it's his biggest hit to date. Futureheads land at 30 with The beginning of the twist. Leona's newie, Better in time, scoots up 15 to 23.

Also up 15 are the Council Estate Slappers, now number 20. Delinquent only moves up 13 places to 19 with My destiny, which might grow on us. Chris Brown's With you can only advance 19-16. We Are Scientists have the highest new entry at 15 with After hours - they've had three hits in the last few years, this is their first top 20 smash. Surprise of the week is Adele's 6-14 fall. The Utah Saints go 25-13 with Something good, and Kylie slumps 5-11.

Flo Rida puts Low up three to 9. Pestside has their smallest hit in nine years of clogging up the charts, Us against the world can only manage number 8. Indeed, no previous Pestside single has ever failed to make the top 5. They're beaten by Alphabeat, whose Fascination storms 23-7. Taio Cruz puts Come on girl up six to 5, Onerepublic's Stop and stare climbs four to 4, leaving no move in the top 3 - Nickelback at 3, H Two O at 2, and Duffy at the top. We've never had a top 5 with last week's column beginning 1-2-3-8-11; it's the 13th 1-2-3-8 in history, the first since Boxing Day 1999.

On the albums chart, more Duffy, as the album Rockferry debuts at number 1. Whingebag Deluxe slips to 2, with Nickelback back up three to 3. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds enter at 4 with Dig Lazarus Dig. Alicia Keys rebounds 21-11, Scouting for Girls 32-22, Timberyokel 26-45. The Cardigans' contrctually-obligated best of lands at 32, one ahead of Billy Bragg's Mr Love and Justice. Slump of the week goes to Donny Osmond, 8-34. Just outside the top 50 are entries for the Black Crowes, Gutter Twins, and Erykah Badu; Kelis also has a hits collection out, but it's only number 71, so can't be included on itself.

 1  1 Mercy - Duffy
 4  8 Onerepublic - Stop and stare
 7 23 Alphabeat - Fascination
12  9 David Jordan - Sun goes down
13 25 Utah Saints - Something good
15 NE We Are Scientists - After hours
21 14 One Night Only - Just for tonight
23 38 Leona Lewis - Better in time
26 17 Goldfrapp - A&E
29 18 Feeling - I thought it was over
30 NE Futureheads - The beginning of the twist
31 26 Alicia Keys - No one
33 NE Get Cape Wear Cape Fly - Find the time
34 64 Sugababes - Denial
37 NE Jimmy Eat World - Always be
38 30 Scouting For Girls - Elvis ain't dead
39 28 Mika - Relax take it easy
40 NE Hercules and Love Affair - Blind
41 33 Leona Lewis - Burning love
44 57 Foals - Cassius
45 NE KT Tunstall - If only
46 29 Hot Chip - Ready for the floor
48 NE Mystery Jets - Young love
49 39 Robyn - Be mine
51 44 Cascada - What hurts the most
54 NE MGMT - Time to pretend
56 36 Phantom Planet - Just
57 56 Scouting for Girls - She's so lovely
59 52 Duffy - Rockferry
66 63 Amy MacDonald - This is the life
67 re Jay-Zed and Linkin Park - Numb / Encore
73 55 Paramore - Misery business
74 47 Simple Plan - When I'm gone
75 NE Amy MacDonald - Run

.. 45 Young Knives - Up all night
.. 48 Mark Brown / Sarah Cracknell
  - The journey continues
.. 49 Daniel Merriweather - Stop me
.. 51 Yaël Naïm - New soul
.. 65 REM - Supernatural superserious
.. 68 Sugababes - About you now
.. 69 BWO - Sunshine in the rain
.. 70 Hoosiers - Goodbye Mr. A
.. 72 Mika - Grace Kelly

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This week, we've been watching and hearing...

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Israel conducted a week-long invasion of the Gaza Strip, killing at least 110 Palestinians. The chief international negotiator over the matter, Mister Tony Blair, did not make any comment.

Ian Paisley has announced his retirement from frontline politics. Mr. Paisley, leader of the Democratic Unionist Party since 1854, has been Northern Ireland's First Minister since last spring. His DUP has selected Peter Robinson to take over; it's not immediately clear if he will combine this role with his online music journalism. Mr. Paisley is known for his piety, and we spoke to his god, who said shouted, Yes, it's true, I am stepping down.

The Spanish election has been boring the voters, because everything is micro-managed by the leading parties. Three-quarters of people said the campaign hadn't helped them to make up their minds, suggesting another win for the Socialists led by Sr. Zapatero.

The election campaign ended suddenly on Friday morning, when Isaias Carrasco was shot and killed in Mondragon. The death of the former Socialist city councillor was blamed by both leading parties on separatist group ETA.

Over in Italy, Sr. Berlusconi pulled off another populist coup, persuading (gosh!) a mohammedian woman, Souad Sbai, to stand for his Taxdodger's Party. Sa. Sbai is president of Italy's association of Moroccan women.

There will be elections in Serbia, following the resignation of Vojislav Kostunica. His government faced internal tensions following Kosov@'s unilateral declaration of independence last month, and disagreed with president Tadic who believed the best tactic would be engagement with the EU. The elections are scheduled for 11 May, just thirteen days before the Eurovision Song Contest final, and on the day that rehearsals for the planet's largest cultural event are due to start.

Domestically, three members of the Liberal Democratic frontbench resigned in protest at the party's principled abstention on the question of a referendum on ratification of the Lisbon Treaty. Party leader Clegg had called for an in-out vote, which could lead to complete UK withdrawal.

Sports news, and in the greatest surprise of the week, Ole Einar Bjoerndalen won the biathlon World Cup for the fifth time. Five years of utter dominance in the most taxing winter sport, and one of the most difficult of all sports. Elsewhere, Wales kept their Grand Slam hopes alive with a win in Dublin, while Scotland defeated England at a sodden Murrayfield. The Viertelfinals of the FA Cup saw defeat for CSKA Kensington, the Manchester Buccaneers, and Middlesbrough - unheralded sides Portsmouth, Barnsley, and Cardiff are joined in the last four by Westbromwich or Bristol Rovers.

We regret to report the death of Gareth Butler, news editor; and Francis Pym, former Foreign Secretary and opponent of landslides.

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A brief incursion of northerly winds early in the week brought some wintery showers and cold nights. Winds shifted to the west during Wednesday, bringing more cloudy conditions, and a few showers. There was speculation during the week that an explosive low would bring hurricane-force winds and drenchings of rain during Monday. Subsequent runs show this is unlikely to happen, though it will be very windy for a time everywhere. Another depression will pass across Scotland in the early hours of Wednesday, introducing strong overnight winds, and probably leaving a cold north-westerly flow.

03 Mo wintry showers     2/ 7, 1.0
04 Tu sun               -2/ 8
05 We cloud             -4/10
06 Th cloud              8/11
07 Fr rain o/n, sun      6/11, 2.0
08 Sa cloud, wind        4/10, 1.0
09 Su sun, showers       3/ 9, 0.5

Rainfall in March: 7mm; monthly average: 52mm

Degree heating days: 601½
2006-7: 393½/499
2005-6: 586/684
2004-5: 514/556
2003-4: 653/754

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