Local elections took place; in a year when 10,000 councillors were voted in, the Conservatives lost 890 seats and 42 councils, roughly equally to Labour and the Lib Dems. Councils including Windsor, Eastbourne, and Plymouth fell from Conservative grasp, but was insufficient to propel Mr. Kinnock to national power. The net national figure: Lab 36, C 35, LD 21. Elsewhere, Labour suffered losses to Plaid Cymru and Wear Valley to the Lib Dems, Horley was won by a group seeking the abolition of the council, the Esdipi was wiped out in Plymouth, and East Devon secured its first honest politician ever with the election of Stuart Hughes, owner of Fawlty Towers in Sidmouth and the Raving Loony Green Giant Party's first district councillor.

The first constitutional deadlock in many years was ended; Lords passed a wrecking amendment to the proposed War Crimes Bill. The measure, which would enable criminals under the Nazi regime, was promptly passed by the Commons under the Parliament Act (1949); no one would yet note that this law was itself of suspicious legitimacy. The Court of Appeal lifted injunctions preventing two DIY stores from opening on Sunday. Though it wasn't the final word, the judgement's result was to force councils to post bonds to cover any compensation ordered. The Labour Co-Ordinating Committee - a pressure group within the party - proposed that the party prepare for a referendum on proportional representation. A solemn service of rememberence for the deceased of the Gulf War took place in Glasgow. This week's tabloid stink was against Al Sharpton, a radical preacher from New Amsterdam, whose first sermon was heard by an audience that ran into double figures.

Kenneth Clarke pointed out that The Daily Mirror is read by morons. Piers Morgan was scribbling some words around pictures of showbiz totty for the Daily Tabloid. David Icke appeared on the Wogan television show, saying that when he realised he was the son of god, he was gobsmacked. Mr. Icke expressed similar sentiments. When he came out, Terry, and said 'I am the Son of God, I am an aspect of the soul of the Godhead incarnate because of things that need to be done on this planet urgently', people ridiculed. The next guests were John Virgo and Willie Thorne to plug their Big Break show.

Eduard Shevardnadze, the former Soviet foreign minister, warned of a military coup in the next few months, and that the country was moving towards dictatorship. President Gorbechev prepared the ground for a union accord, allowing greater devolution to the constituent republics. Croatia began mobilising her police reserves after President Tudjman said that Serbia had declared war by killing a dozen police. Alan Greenspan tried to get the world's central banks to cut their interest rates in concert: no-one was interested, so he became ½% more boring, now only 5½% interest. There were rumblings about the parcelling and re-sale of debt by state-owned companies in the rebel colonies. President Hussein agreed that lightly-armed UN troops should protect the interests of the Kurds; opposition from the Chinese, worried about a precedent that might be used in Tibet, circumscribed the UN forces to self-defence.

Arsenal drew 0:0 at Sunderland, a result that just about sealed the Division I championship for the Gunners. Criticism wasn't that it was a bore draw, but that the match was televised as a Saturday evening kick-off, causing traditionalists to spit feathers. It's funny how the Sunday Times doesn't complain about the idea of Saturday evening games any more. Barnet were promoted to Division IV, Derby were relegated from Division I, and Wimbledon played their last match at Plough Lane, now a nice block of flats. The MCC decided not to admit women as members. Eighteen million saw Dangermouse star David Jason as Pop Larkin in The Darling Buds of May. The comedian Bernie Winters died; he was 58.

UK Singles Chart for w/c 5 May 1991

Number One	The shoop shoop song (it's in his kiss) - Cher - 2nd week (Number 664 in seq.)
Highest new entry	Fading like a flower - Roxette - number 26
Fastest climber (within top 40)	Touch me (all night long) - Cathy Dennis - up 18 to 7 Promise me - Beverley Craven - up 18 to 15
Fastest climber (within top 75)	(as above)
Lemming-like fall	Sinful! (scary jiggin' with Doctor Love) - Pete Wylie and the Farm - down 27 to 70
Top 40 debuts	Amy Grant, Samantha Janus, T-99
Top 40 exits	Simpsons, The Clash
Top 75 debuts	Amy Grant, Blessing, Electric Light Orchestra Part Two, Samantha Janus, Soul Family Sensation, T-99
Top 75 exits	Electric Light Orchestra Part Two, Scientist
Simon Mayo's Record of the Week	My salt heart - Hue and Cry

Seventeen new entries this week, beginning with trance performer Scientist, whose Spiral symphony came in at 74. Two folk near the end of their unfairly-truncated solo careers: Alexander O'Neal's Shame on me at 71, and Susannah Hoffs sung about Unconditional love at 68. The cool jazz sound of Clive Griffin came in at 66 with I'll be waiting, and Tracie Spencer's This house climbed one to 65. New at 63 came the Blessing with Highway 5.

In the beginning, there was the Electric Light Orchestra, featuring Jeff Lynne on vocals, Eric Clapton on guitar, Bev Bevan on clarinet, and TV's Famous God on double bass. Some time after the group recorded such songs as Mister blue sky and The diary of Horace Wimp, the band split owing to musical differences. Jeff Lynne travelled to Wilbury, TV's Famous God created the universe and was lauded as a local deity. And Bev Bevan founded the Electric Light Orchestra Part II, purely so that no-one, not even the notoriously litigious Mr. Lynne, could accuse him of misleading anyone. The similarities between the two groups were amazing, they played the same songs, albeit with slightly different arrangements and under new titles. And they were equally derided by music fans: Honest men was new at number 60, the only time they'd graze the singles chart. Mr. Bevan now has a weekly 70s show on Saga West Midlands, or whatever they're calling it this week.

Speaking of oldies, KC and the Sunshine Band appeared at 59 with a re-release of That's the way (I like it), presumably after an appearance in a television commercial. The song had originally made number 4 in 1975; the group's biggest hits were Please don't go (3 in 1979, and to be covered by KWS the following year) and Give it up (a chart-topper in 1983). Guy climbed 10 to 58 with Her.

Two of the traditions of May in Britain were being upheld this week. The first: the cup final singles. Or, to be exact, the cup final single, for Brian Clough refused to let his Nottingham Forest side into the studio. No such luck for the players of Tottenham Hotspur, led by top 40 regular Paul "Gazza" Gascoigne. They recorded with professional Cockneys Chas and Dave on (It's lucky for Spurs) when the year ends in one, referring to the side's victories in the FA Cup in 1981 and 1961, their win in the League Cup in 1971, and that oh-so-memorable 2:0 drubbing at Huddersfield in the opening match of their 1951 cup campaign. Would 2001 prove more fortunate? Lost the semi-final 2:1 to Arsenal. But that's in the future; for now, there's the potential of victory, qualification for the Cup Winners' Cup, and the glamour of a match in the qualifying round against the cup champions of somewhere completely immemorable. Bit like the song, which unreconstructed Tottenham fan Simon Mayo played to death, but it's just a Chis and Des song.

No move at 56 for Black's Feels like change, and That Petrol Emotion climbed four to 55 with Sensitize. New at 53 came rappers Soul Family Sensation with I don't even know if I should call you baby. Jellyfish were up 16 to 51 with Baby's coming back, a song that will get no higher on this release. The tune will be covered by McFly in 2007; such is the group's success that they'll go straight in at number 1, then fall 19 places for two consecutive weeks. Shawn Christopher's Another sleepless night is up 15 to 50, Luther Vandross climbs four to 47 with Power of love / love power, and Secchi is up two to 46 with I say yeah.

Twenty-five years into his career, Elvis Costello is having difficulty selling records. From his 1977 debut My Aim Is True until 1984's Goodbye Cruel World, Costello churned out records at a rate of knots: nine albums in seven years didn't sap him of energy, but the listeners were increasingly punch-drunk, and the sales quietly dropped away. By 1986, Costello was moving away from punk and towards folk music, cutting his spurs by producing the Pogues's seminal Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash. He signed to Warner Brothers and worked with Paul Fab Macca Whacky Thumbs Aloft!!!! McCartney, and released Spike (1989), whence came the minor hit Veronica.

The lead single for 1991's Mighty Like a Rose is The other side of summer, last week voted the Chart Beater on Simon Mayo's breakfast show. The Chart Beater was one of the first regular uses of 0898 phone-in telephone interactive voting technology; every Friday morning, just after ten past seven, Mr. Mayo would play clips of eight records that were threatening to enter the chart on Sunday. And he would invite his many listeners to call Oooooooooooooooh-eight-nine-eight double-nine-double-three-oh, then add 1 for the first record, 2 for the second, 3 for the third, and so on. Lines close at 7.45, with the result announced ten minutes later. The reward was to have the winning song played somewhere on the breakfast show every day for the next week, as though it were on Radio 1's A-list. It's a bit of fun, keeps Diane Oxberry in hair mousse and Rod McKenzie in pencils, and gives Ric Blaxill a gentle introduction into the world of premium-rate telephony. None of this alters the fact that Mayo's listeners voted The other side of summer as last week's Chart Beater, only to see it stall at 44. From its number 43 position, the song will re-enter the contest this week, the only tune ever to be able to win twice, but it came about fifth.

This lack of success followed Costello in later years: 1993's The Juliet Letters brought more fame to the Brodsky Quartet, and by the end of the year he was working on Now Ain't the Time For Your Tears with Transvision Vamp failure Wendy James. Costello's since snagged the hand in marriage of jazz singer Diana Krall, and made a few albums with her. Mayo, meanwhile, must have been doing something right - he was voted National DJ of the Year at the Radio Awards, and continues to make brilliant radio and makes it look easier than falling off a log.

In at 41 come great white dopes Flowered Up with Take it. Wilson Phillips came in at 39 with You're in love, new at 36 came Scot-rockers Almighty with Devil's toy, and Amy Grant was in at 34 with Baby baby. Lonnie Gordon's Gonna catch you climbed eight to 32.

The second tradition of May is the annual Eurovision Song Contest. 1991's edition was held in Italy, and was hosted by last year's winner Toto Cutugno and Gigliona Cinquetti. The contest was moved from San Remo to Rome at short notice, the hosts insisted on giving the scoring in English, French, and Italian, and managed to confuse themselves with the scoring system, even though it's been the same since TV's Famous God created the universe. The contest over-ran terribly, not finishing until almost half-past midnight local time, and the scoreboard (a simple computer-generated image) was barely seen because the directors preferred to pan around the crowd, the commentary boxes, a half-empty matchbox... Thomas Forstner came last for Austria, performing Venedig im Regen. And, after all that, we finished with a tie, with Carola for Sweden beating Amina for France on countback, with Duo Datz for Israel in the running until the final moments.

But what of the UK's entry? A message to your heart was performed by journeyman singer Samantha Janus, and she was just as rubbish as every other singer the BBC had sent since the mid-80s, finishing tenth of the 22 competitors, with the very moderate score of 47 points. She'd narrowly beaten Brendan Faye's Lover come in to secure qualification. By entering the singles chart at number 30, la Janus became the biggest UK Eurovision hit since Belle and the Devotions in 1984.

In retrospect, this was the nadir for Eurovision as a spectacle: Céline Dion's power ballad from 1988 was still the yardstick by which all other songs were judged. It wasn't just bad presentation, but the songs themselves were dire, and that's the good ones. Still, change is in the air: the EBU is negotiating with the OIRT, the broadcasters from the Eastern bloc, and they could bring fresh energy and vibrancy to the contest as soon as next year. Some suggest that the Irish will begin a reign of dominance, others reckon that a combination of practiced singers and Jonathan King will guide the UK towards respectability every year. Still others reckon that it'll all be over by 1995.

Never seriously touted for the Eurovision stage were the Wedding Present, whose Dalliance is new at 29. Much loved by John Peel, ver Present had broken into the charts in early 1988; their biggest hit so far was 1990's Brassneck. New at 27 came ravers T-99 with Anasthasia, and the highest new entry was Roxette's Fading like a flower, new at 26. It's the second single from their Joyride album, and is somewhat closer to the expansive ballads from their debut album. The climbs continue for Michael Bolton, Love is a wonderful thing is up 7 to 24; and for Roachford, Get Ready! rises 7 to 22.

Frances Nero is up 6 to 17 with Footsteps following me, and thereby hangs a tale of great patience. Nero was born in 1943, and won a talent show in the mid 60s, judged by Berry Gordy. She was signed to Motown, but only released the one single, Keep on loving me, before pursuing other interests and eventually retiring in the late 1970s. In the late 1980s, producer Ian Levine heard Nero's single, and went to Detroit to find what happened to her, and perhaps persuade her back into the studio.

He was successful in all endeavours, and brought Frances to the UK in summer 1990. On the back of this success, Levine hooked up with Ivy Jo Hunter (the bloke who wrote Dancing in the streets) to write a new song channelling the soaring gospel-tinged brilliance of late-sixties Motown. Footsteps following me was that song, and it was everything we could ask for and more. We could ramble on about the spine-tingling vocals, or the joyous soul sound, or the very clever backing track, or the even cleverer wordplay, but that's as nought compared to just listening to the song.

Sadly, this wasn't the beginning of the Second Coming of Frances Nero. A royalties dispute poisoned the relationship between Nero, Levine, and their Motorcity record label, and apart from the long-deleted album Out on the Floor, that was the last we saw of her. On the upside, Frances had the bit between her teeth, independently releasing records on her own AJA label, and touring with other former Motown stars.

Onwards and upwards for Nomad - Just a groove is up 11 to 16 - and Beverley Craven, who has this week's joint fastest-climber, Promise me rises 18 to 15. A surprise as Quadrophonia's eponymous single stalls at 14, and Seal's Future love ep is up nine to 12. Out of the top ten go the Waterboys (8-13) and De La Soul (10-11).

Blur reach the top 10 with their second single, There's no other way climbs that last one place. James dip five to 9 with Sit down, and Electronic continue to Get the message, up one to 8. The other joint fastest climber is Cathy Dennis's Touch me (all night long), up 18 to 7. No move at 6 for Vic Reeves and the Roman Numerals' interpretation of Born free. Chesney Hawkes is down three to 5 with The one and only; with 11 weeks in the top 75, he's now got the longest-staying single in the chart. Zucchero and Paul Young climb three to 4 with Senza una donna (without a woman), and OMD are up two to 3 with Sailing on the seven seas, now tying with 1981's Souvenir as their highest-charting hit. The KLF climb one place to 2 with Last train to trancentral, and it's a second week on top for Cher's The shoop shoop song (it's in his kiss).

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