Iraq offered to withdraw her troops from Kuwait, subject to a few pre-conditions, such as a process to settle the whole Palestinian question. This explicit acceptance of the United Nations resolutions wasn't enough for Mr. Bush, the man in charge of the aircraft that had hit Iraqi bomb-shelters earlier in the week, killing 144. Dismissing the withdrawal as a cruel hoax, Mr. Bush suddenly gave a new aim for the conflict: the removal from office of President Sadaam. While Mr. Bush was bent on war, the Soviet Union said the proposal was worth discussing at greater length; countries as diverse as Yemen and Cuba offered similar opinions. Writing in The Manchester Guardian, Martin Woolacott said, to the Americans and the British, Saddam is like a man condemned to hang.

Hungary, Czechoslovakia, and Poland agreed to pursue closer integration with the west, and membership of the European Community; NATO's branch office, the Western European Union, was cool about these countries' potential membership.

UK Singles Chart for w/c 17 February 1991

Number One	Do the bart, man - The Simpsons - 2nd week (Number 660 in seq.)
Highest new entry	Here comes the hammer - MC Hammer - number 21
Fastest climber (within top 40)	Auberge - Chris Rea - up 13 to 23
Fastest climber (within top 75)	(as above)
Lemming-like fall	Summer rain - Belinda Carlisle - down 30 to 75
Top 40 debuts	Stevie B, Joey B Ellis And Tynetta Hare, Xpansions
Top 40 exits	Milltown Brothers, Mixmasters, Mark Summers, Ralph Tresvant
Top 75 debuts	Stevie B, Banderas, Basement Boys, Johnny Gill, Chesney Hawkes, Massive Attack, Ultra Nate
Top 75 exits	Basement Boys, Carlton, Frazier Chorus, JJ, Bill Medley And Jennifer Warnes, My Bloody Valentine, Tongue 'N' Cheek
Simon Mayo's Record of the Week	Joyride - Roxette

The advantage of being made Simon Mayo's record of the week is five plays into the show's 20 million eardrums across the week, including three in the much-heard 7.15 to 8.15 hour. The disadvantage is that when the song flops, it's known to millions of people. Such was the beginning for the Banderas, This is your life could only enter at 73. New at 71 for the Basement Boys and Ultra Nate's Is it love; Nate would go on to have that massive hit in 1997. Boy George's group Jesus Loves You enter at 69 with Bow down mister, a catchy little number channelling the spirit of George Harrison's most famous hit. Gang Starr come in at 63 with Take a rest, more about them in May. The Frazier Chorus's Walking on air climbs 7 to 60, and new at 59 for Chesney Hawkes's The one and only. It's already in the Scottish top 40, alongside Goodbye Mr Mackenzie's Now we are married, and that's well short of the national top 75.

New at 58 for Mica Paris with If I love u 2 nite. She'd had a top ten hit in 1988 with My one temptation, and was trying to have a big comeback. It didn't happen, this Prince cover failed to make the top 40, and she wouldn't hit the big time until Never felt like this before crept into the top 20 in 1993. Her last substantive hit was a cover of U2's One, number 29 in 1995, and (like all U2 covers) better than the original. In at 57 for Johnny Gill's Wrap my body tight; the former New Edition frontsman had a minor hit the previous summer with Rub you the right way, a song all over Atlantic 252, but his greatest success came in 1994 with The floor (53) and A cute sweet love addiction (46).

New at 55 came the Young Disciples with Apparently nothin'; we'll have more on this when it becomes a hit later in the year. Inner City had had a couple of top 10 hits in 1989, the most well-remembered was Good life. Till we meet again was the big comeback that, er, wasn't all that big, entering at 53.

In September 1990, the tabloid press got its knickers in a twist because they had difficulty in understanding a very simple rule. During the week to 8 September, the Steve Miller Band's The joker had, according to the CIN panel, out-sold Deee-lite's Groove is in the heart by the wafer-thin margin of six copies, with all other records some distance back. For historical reasons, rather than presenting the actual number of sales estimated from its panel, CIN still scaled the chart down as though it was compiled from 250 stores, the same number as when it took over in 1983. As CIN had its terminals in almost 4300 shops, the raw figures were divided through by 17 and a bit, and then rounded off to the nearest whole number. The result: a presentational tie between the two records. As the Steve Miller Band had been number 6 the previous week, and Deee-lite number 4, it was The joker that took the top spot, and consolidated its lead the following week. If there's one thing the tabloids hated, it's not being able to put up a picture of Cute Girl At Number One. Even though Kierin M Kirby was scarcely the definition of cute (we preferred Ukranian disk-jockey Dmitri Brill), she had to be better looking than the band-leader Steve Miller, or his politician sons Ed and David.

Why are we recounting this tale? Because it's a damned sight more interesting than anything Deee-lite ever committed to record. The group was the worst sort of late-60s throwback, all polka dots and drug-induced psychadelia without any attempt to expand the mind. It was cheap, it was tacky, it was a cynical exercise designed to take people's money first and ask questions later. There was no substance to Groove is in the heart, it was just a groove. The hint was in the name. Two remarkably similar follow-ups had much less success - Power of love peaked at 25 in November, and How do you say... love was new at 52 this week. The group would release another album in 1992, and a single in 1994 from an album that was shelved at the last minute, but we'll never suffer their nonsense in the top 40 again.

Massive's Unfinished sympathy came in at 51; for now, we'll note that the group had dropped the suffix "Attack" from their name. No move at 49 for That Petrol Emotion's Tingle, the Las are up 8 to 43 with Feelin', Quartz's It's too late is up two to 42, and the Milltown Brothers hold station at 38 with Which way should I jump?. A new entry at 35 for Stevie B's Because I love you (the postman song); it's going to go much higher. Joey B Ellis and Tynetta Hare's Go for it! (heart and fire) was up 9 to 33, winning the battle for most daft punctuation of the week. Julian Cope climbed 5 to 32 with Beautiful love, George Michael's Heal the pain was up 9 at 31, and Living Colour rose three to 30 with Love rears its ugly head. Xpansions had a new entry at 28 with Move your body (elevation).

A new entry - though not the highest - for Morrissey. Just three years into his solo career, Moz was already onto his third solo album, Kill Uncle, from which the lead single was Our Frank. It's his most radio-friendly song so far, beating even the doom-laden gothery of 1988's Every day is like Sunday (which had just been a 28-record-token panel beater on Simon Mayo's Identi-hit Quiz). And, of course, being entertaining is the last thing Morrissey fans wanted, resulting in the single entering at 26, and getting no higher. It was the first time Morrissey had failed to crack the top 20 with a solo single, and this would turn out to be the circle he would live in for the rest of the 1990s.

Up 7 to 25 went DJH and Stefy's Think about..., and a four-place climb to 24 for Every beat of the heart. The Railway Children's rise to fame mirrored many of the quality bands that fell out of the Madchester explosion of 1990. The four-piece group, named after the children's novel, had been doing the rounds since 1984, and had released a debut album through Factory in 1987. At this early date, Factory was not the credible hit factory it would become by the 1990s, and the group signed to Virgin Records in 1988. Fashion caught up with the group's jangly pop in time for their 1990 album Native Place, from which came this one hit, and their best track Music stop. The group was dropped by Virgin in 1992, and split in 1994; the near-inevitable reunion took place in 2006. For our money, the Railway Children were under-appreciated in their own time, primarily because so many rubbish bands were jumping on the Manchester bandwagon as to tar better bands with the same brush. (Milltown Brothers, High, we're looking at you.) The best-of was released in 1995, and looks to be available for about the price of a pint of beer.

This week's fastest climber, up 13 to 23, was Chris Rea's Auberge. He'd had a strange career, hitting the top 30 in 1978 with Fool if you think it's over, but not then making the upper reaches again until 1985's Stainsby girls, all about his old school in Middlesbrough. His biggest hit was 1989's Road to hell, written after a particularly bad traffic jam on the motorways around London. This was the lead single and title track from his first album back, and had been a rather uninspired choice of Simon Mayo Record of the Week. After that shaky start, Rea managed one top 40 hit every year between 1987 and 1994, though only in '91 and '92 did he have two hits. He's perhaps best remembered for Let's dance and On the beach, and a song that took eighteen years to make the top 40, Driving home for Christmas.

New at 22 for Thunder with Love walked in. Thunder were an odd group to summarise: they'd been formed in 1989 when Terraplane called it a day after six years, and centred around singer Danny Bowes and songwriter Luke Morley. They were instantly signed to EMI, and sung a mixture of blues-rock and ballads. Debut album Backstreet Symphony (1990) yielded five singles, of which this was the last and the largest. Their problem, if we can call it such, was that the group's sound was straight out of 1983; it was a refreshing change from the poodle-perm glam-rock that was popular in the late 80s, but really showed its age when plunged against the nascent grunge scene that'll be big when Thunder's next album comes out. The group produced four albums before leaving EMI in 1995, split in 2000, only to re-form within three years. The group was that rare creature, performing better live than on record, and their devoted fans bought enough singles to assure them of a top 50 place almost every time. There was little mainstream cross-over: the group has only one top 20 hit, 1993's A better man, and averages a number 34 hit.

Thunder had lasting success: the man who just pipped them to highest new entry honours certainly didn't. MC Hammer had reached number 3 the previous summer with U can't touch this, and spent the rest of his career trying to match the success. The cover Have you seen her and new song Pray gave him top ten placings before the end of 1990, but fourth single Here comes the hammer was forgettable mush, and only came in at 21. There goes the Hammer's career...

Up six to 18 for Jimmy Barnes and INXS with Good times, and Chris Isaak's Blue Ho el climbed four to 17. We promised an explanation of why there's a space in the middle of Ho el: it's how Isaak sung the word on the song, which in turn he explained as the peculiarly British version on every single television appearace he made to promote the release. We promised an explanation. We gave an explanation. We never said it was a good explanation.

Up five to 13 for Kenny Thomas's Outstanding, a piece of saccharine soul; up six to 11 for Free's re-issued chewing gum anthem All right now. Out of the top ten went Soho (9-15) and EMF (8-12), neither will return to the upper echelon. Indeed, of the acts to drop out of the top ten during the last four weeks, only Seal, Enigma, and Queen would ever return.

There's no move at 10 for Kim Appleby's G.L.A.D., and 808 State climb seven to 9 with In yer face. The Source's You've got the love is up four to 8, the first of three top ten entries for the song. One-place falls for Kylie Blankcanvas, Two in a Room, and Praise, because Oleta Adams's Get here is up three to 4. The KLF's 3am eternal drops a place to 3, and Nomad Featuring MC Mikee Freedom rise one to 2 with (I wanna give you) devotion. Nomad was Damon Rochefort and Steve McCutcheon, and they made cheap and not particularly cheerful warehouse music, like the KLF's two hits so far, only more rubbish. This particular work was a shouty rap by Mr. Freedom and a woman whose one line was the song's title, including brackets. How on earth it managed to make number 2 is beyond us.

It's with pisspoor competition like that that the Simpsons remained at number 1 for a second week with Do the Bart, man. Unlike anything else in the top 7, here was a good, fun, pop song that was actually entertaining, at least on first listen.

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