After five-and-a-half months of pre-publicity, the Second Gulf War began in the early hours of 17 January. Iraqi president Sadaam Hussein had invaded Kuwait at the start of August 1990, and point-blank refused to leave the country, no matter who asked him. Former British prime minister Mr. Ted Heath went and asked, former boxer Mr. Mohammed Ali paid a visit, though seventies impressionist Mike Yarwood never quite managed to clear his schedule to visit Baghdad. The new British prime minister addressed the nation on Thursday night. Mr. Joe 90 said ... well, we have no idea what he said, because we were too busy watching the strings.

The early weeks were dominated by allied carpet bombing. Yes, it's Allied Carpet Bombing! Everything had to go! This Euphrates rug, not one hundred dinars, not fifty dinars, to you, twenty dinars! Buy now, while store lasts! Get this second-hand Scud missile and delivery to your home (or somewhere within two miles) is free! Offer valid only to addresses in Greater Jerusalem or Tel Aviv. Ask after our Invisible chemical weapons, you'll never find them! Look at the quality of our fire-proof blanket: we set fire to the oil-field, smother it with the blanket, and... Bugger.

The BBC gave over BBC-1 and Radio 4 to continual coverage of the battle, with David Dimbleby talking gravely to retired army generals, and Peter Snow in his element, in his sandpit. On the radio, Brian Redhead and Nick Clarke held sway, with only the Daily Service and The Archers holding their place on the schedules. John Simpson filed a report while pretending to the Iraqis that he was tuning in his satellite receiver. By Saturday, continual news coverage had been restricted to Radio 4's FM frequency, with normal programming stuck on squeaky old long wave. Radio 1 implemented a through-the-night schedule, abolishing its 2am to 5am closedown, and introduced a brief news bulletin every 30 minutes: both measures would last no longer than the conflict. The Beeb issued a list of records that its radio stations might think twice about playing next to news bulletins, a list incorrectly described post facto as censored. Additionally, slight edits were made to some of the records in the chart, which we'll get to in due course, and in future weeks.

In sports: David Gower and John Morris broke the tedium of yet another heavy Ashes loss by going for a spin in a light aircraft. In the first round of the Five Nations, France beat defending champions Scotland 15:9, and England won 25:6 in Wales.

New at 74 come Daryl Hall and John Oates with Everywhere I look. The sweet soul sound had given the lads two top ten hits in 1982 - I can't go for that and Maneater - and a couple of other significant hits. Their biggest hits elsewhere - Say it isn't so and Out of touch - both missed the top 40 in the UK, and their 1990 comeback yielded just two very minor hits. The duo reformed in 2003, and weren't even played on Paul Gambicinni's radio show. What does he know, eh?

Jellyfish entered at 73 with The king is half undressed, and new at 68 for VIM performing Maggie's last party. It's a gloating commemoration of the resignation of ancien British prime minister Mrs. Margaret Thatcher eight weeks earlier prior to her replacement by ... (er) the new prime minister. Jimmy Barnes and INXS entered at 63 with Good times, a feeble drunk-rock track from some movie or other. We've not been able to find out anything about Frank 'K' and Wiston Office's Everybody let's somebody love, new at 61.

The Go-Gos had given us the ever-so-successful Belinda Carlisle, and the not-quite-so-winning Jane Wiedlin. They'd started out as a girl group from Arizona's western fringes, and though they'd been influential, they'd never had a major hit. Girl groups were ten-a-penny during the mid-1980s, even the ones singing about the clap-clap. Only the Bangs survived past 1985, and even they had to change their name to the Bangles. The Go-Gos had one minor UK hit, Our lips are sealed made number 45 in May 1982, and was covered almost immediately by Fun Boy Three. Their second hit, Cool jerk, entered at number 60, and failed to progress higher. The group didn't bother with any more singles from this album, but their second reunion in 1995 finally gave the Go-Gos a top 40 hit when The whole world lost it's head [sic] made 29. Lots of fantastic harmonies on power pop.

From the Follow That! files, Maria McKee was releasing Breathe. Her previous hit, Show me heaven, had spent three weeks at number 1, prior to faithful cover versions by Tina Arena, and dubious disco monsters from Chimera. This second single was little different from her monster hit, entered at 59, and made no further progress. We had great hopes for the disco-influenced Sweetest child in summer 1992, but that stalled at an agonising 45. McKee's roots rock would give her one more hit, I'm gonna soothe you at 35 in May 1993, but that's it. McKee's better known as a songwriter - she'd already got Feargal Sharkey's 1985 chart-topper A good heart to her name - and continues to record now and then.

Small climbs for Winger, Miles away moves 58-56; and for the London Boys, Freedom goes 55-54. New at 51 comes Tom Jones with Couldn't say goodbye. The well-known Rob Brydon impressionist had ended a ten-year lean spell in 1987, and attested to his hip potential when working with the Art of Noise the following year. However, this was the limit of his popularity - releases in autumn 1987 and 1989 had both fallen short of the top 40. The same fate befell his new single, and it's no surprise that he would turn his attention to comedy.

In at 48 came Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine, performing Bloodsport for all. Carter USM, or Jimbob and Fruitbat to their mothers, were two lads from Sarf London, who would rise to tremendous fame during 1991. This was the usual a heady mix of samples, drum machines, live guitars, and lyrics like a Marx Brothers script - heavy on the puns, if light on the meaning. The group formed in 1988, and toured pretty much non-stop, gaining an appreciative fanbase. That they came from London helped the pair gain play on Radio 1's new Evening Session programme, but attention outside of the Network Card area was minimal. Bloodsport for all was the group's second single to be released through indie powerhouse Rough Trade records, and the first to make the top 75. Carter USM had a tremendous power to create self-aggrandising myths, one of which is that Radio 1 banned this single over its subject matter, racism in the army. Like most of Carter's myths, this one is not strictly true, the song did get spot plays across the station's schedule, but didn't rise to the serried ranks of the Playlist. Was this because it was uncomfortable for the Beeb to be attacking the army during a period of armed conflict, or because the song itself was a bit pants? Either way, number 48 was as high as the song got.

In at 47 came Scientist, with The bee. It's a house track that had made 52 just before christmas, and the most interesting thing was its chart run - 52-55-72, three weeks out, 47-66-75. LA Mix was a non-mover at 46 with Mysteries of love, Mariargh Cantsing put Someday in at 45, King Bee entered at 44 with Must bee the music, and Lindy Layton's Echo my heart bowed at 42. Layton had been the featured vocalist on Beats International's chart-topping Dub be good to me, but she would find solo success harder to come by - her biggest hit was We got the love, number 38 in April 1993.

Up three places to 37 goes the Big Dish with Miss America. The group was formed in Airdrie in 1983, and after a number of line-up changes, was currently Steven Lindsay (songs and vocals), Brian McFie (guitars), and Craig Armstrong (strings, arrangements, and technical genius). The group had released two albums through Virgin in the late 1980s (plus a contract-fulfilling compilation in 1994), but was dropped for a lack of commercial success. That came with Satellites, whence came the group's one hit single. The album is a superior example of Clyde-rock, the sort of thing that Texas and Deacon Blue sold to the masses in the UK, the sort of wide and expansive sound that Goodbye Mr. Mackenzie had also perfected. The Big Dish split in 1992, since when Craig Armstrong has become the hip movie music composer of choice. Steven Lindsay worked with Armstrong on many projects, and released two solo albums in the mid-2000s.

New at 36 was Mark Summers with Summers magic, and in at 35 came Thin Lizzy's Dedication. The group had broken through in 1973 when Whisky in the jar went top ten, and had been consistent hit-makers through the late 1970s, including their signature track The boys are back in town (8 in early summer 1976). Falling from fashion in the 1980s, lead singer Phil Lynott got himself involved with drugs, and died in January 1986. Not that that was the end of the story: the band took a vocal demo Lynott had made in the months before his death, polished it up, and turned it into a workable song. The British public rather disagreed, leaving the track standing at 35, and the hits album of the same name did little business. In the group's native Ireland, the single reached number 2. Thin Lizzy have continued to release best-of albums from time to time, and the technique of polishing up rough demos has been exploited by the Beatles and Queen to somewhat greater effect.

Kenny Thomas had a new entry at 33 with Outstanding, a song that had just missed the top 75 the previous summer. Radio 2's Pick of the Pops revisited this week (or, to be exact, last week) on the show of 20 Jan 08, and played this song. Who's surprised? Orbital's Satan climbed 4 to 31, and Will to Power's I'm not in love rose 7 to 29. New at 28 was the big comeback single for Gloria Estefan, Coming out of the dark. Though her group, Miami Sound Machine, had had top ten hits with Dr beat (1984) and Bad boys (1986), they weren't consistent hit-makers in the UK until 1988. Three albums came out in the space of eighteen months - first as the MSM and GE, then GE and the MSM, finally Gloria on her own. Success looked assured, but Gloria was badly injured in a coach crash in March 1990. Mercifully, her injuries were serious but repairable, and directly inspired her big comeback single. The schmalzy North Americans lapped it up, there's nothing they like better than someone overcoming the cruel twists of fate. Over in Europe, the song was just too twee to be really appreciated, and stalled badly.

Some climbers: Oleta Adams' Get here rose 7 to 27, Tongue 'n' Cheek climbed 5 to 26 with Forget me nots - another record that appeared on POTP and it's better than we remembered, a nifty brass section behind the title line. Belinda Carlisle's Summer rain advanced 2 to 23, and Ralph Tresvant's Sensitivity also moved up two to 19. Oleta had some climb left in her, as did this week's two big winners: A Tribe Called Quest's Can I kick it?, up 9 at 18, and Soho's Hippy chick, the fastest climber of 10 places to 16. Out of the top 10 fell the Farm, 8 to 12; Vanilla Ice, 6 to 13; Jesus Jones, 7 to 15; but plummet of the week went to Iron Maiden, going 9-32. Anyone surprised that Radio 2 forgot to play this, preferring the song they had at 10, and we'll have at 8?

New at number 14 came Rick Astley's Cry for help, and The Simpsons came in at 11 with Do the bartman. More about these in due course. Last week in the top ten for John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John's Grease megamix, down six to 10. Robert Palmer's Mercy mercy me / I want you medley - a tune that sounded like an oldie on its original release - climbed three to 9, and Medley and Warnes weren't actually doing a medley hit, merely a Medley hit, as (I've had) the time of my life rose two to 8. Off-Shore's I can't take the power was up four to 7.

For reasons we didn't understand at the time, and don't profess to understand now, Two In A Room entered at 6 with Wiggle it. It's a track by sexist oafs, appreciated by sexist oafs, and without a scintilla of interest as a song. Never heard it? You win, and please miss POTP on Listen Against. Down two to 5 for C&C Music Factory's Gonna make you sweat; down two to 4 for Seal's Crazy. Last week's number one is this week's number 3, as Enigma's Sadeness (part one) is dethroned after just one week. The KLF are up three to 2 with 3am eternal, now shorn of the machine-gun fire in the introduction.

Which leaves only one. Highest new entry, straight in at number one, for Queen. Since their debut in 1974, Queen had had just the one number one single, 1975's Bohemian rhapsody, and had settled into a familiar pattern for the singles chart: the first single from the album would be a top five hit, everything else would sell primarily to the group's fans, and peak respectably, but without challenging for top honours. It had been the pattern for albums in 1986 and 1989, and even the three top ten singles from 1984's The Works were notably less successful as the year wore on.

And so it was with Innuendo, which had its first play on Radio 1 on New Year's Day. It was an almost deliberate attempt to repeat the success of Bohemian rhapsody: a bolero beat, flamenco guitar solo, with a brief section in the oh-so-funky 5/4 time. There's also a very complex orchestration towards the middle of the song. The whole effort was topped off by a bizarre stop-motion video, recycling footage from various animations the group had had done during the previous five years. Critical opinion was divided: some said that it was the best thing the group had done since that Live Aid concert, others reckoned that it was further proof that Queen was pompous and past its listen-by date. Not that such negative publicity would be politically correct by the end of the year, but we're getting ahead of ourselves.

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