New at 15 was Robert Miles with Freedom. After the tremendous success of Children, Fable, and One and one the previous year, Miles returned with a second album, 23AM. We actually prefer this to the original, it hangs together as late-night electronica in a way that Dreamland never quite managed. That's probably because there's an over-arching theme, a tale from birth to death and includes at least one sample from each city he visited while promoting Dreamland. And the first five tracks don't sound exactly the same. Vocalist on the lead single, Freedom, was Kathy Sledge of the group Sister Sledge, and marked her first new release (as opposed to repeats of old music) since her 1985 chart-topper Frankie. Miles would release new albums in 2001 and 2004, and doesn't get anything like enough play on Chill. (Hint.)

(More: resolution in Iraq, linedancing, Mary J Blige, Lutricia McNeil)

All Saints slipped two places to 5, and Natalie Imbruglia dropped a couple to 4. New at 3 was another from the Dodgy Cover files: Steven Houghton's insipid version of Wind beneath my wings. The song had been made famous by Bette Midler, a number 5 hit for the diva in 1989. Houghton's version was cheap karaoke by comparison, but his role in East Street Farm (or whichever soap it was) ensured he could sell zillions of copies before anyone worked out just how rubbish his song was.

Which brings us to Aqua's Barbie girl, back to number 2 after three weeks in pole position. We've no idea how this song managed to sell 1.4 million copies in five weeks, nor how it was on the verge of ousting Puff Daddy as the year's second-biggest seller. New at number 1 was the BBC's Perfect day single, a song we discussed last year. This video clip was first seen in Radio 1 Night at the end of September, and demonstrated how the Beeb did all sorts of music, including the sort you love, and the sort you don't like. These days, of course, the BBC still does all sorts of music, though its impartiality has been compromised by the presence of commercials on its website.

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Changes at Virgin Radio: the Groove station is to close, and Viva will not open. Groove was available on cable and some DAB areas, playing classic and modern soul; Viva was a planned station for the second national DAB multiplex, which would have targetted twentysomething females. On the upside, the group has signed Jay Kay and Or Joel, and Iain Lee, for programmes on Virgin 1215. Jay Kay and Or Joel will go opposite Ben Bernanke and Dick and Dom on week-end mornings, or at least they will if they can work out what year it is; Iain Lee has Sunday evenings up against Kelly Osbourne. [Poor|Lucky] bloke.

Elsewhere, it looks as though Digital One's flagship station Oneword will be biting the bit bucket in the near future: UBC looks set to withdraw from the station, and Channel 4 has bigger fish to fry. The far-sighted option would be to use some of the existing Channel 4 podcasts as filler, then use the frequency as a cut-down (possibly timeshifted) highlights of C4R and Pure4 from the other national multiplex. The not-entirely unlikely option is to lease the frequency to the World Radio Network, to broadcast commentary from around the world. Far more likely is a sell-out to godbotherers UCB or Premier.

We've been thinking about what DAB stations are providing something utterly different from analogue radio. 1Xtra (BBC) and Chill (most local multiplexes) are screamingly obvious additions to the frequency. LBC (most regional muxes) is speech radio that's not all about news or sport. Love them or hate them, UCB (most regional muxes) provide an outlet for stuff you can't find elsewhere on analogue radio. National stations The Jazz and Planet Rock threaten to do something different, though we're not entirely convinced about either. And either Oneword or BBC7 deserves to be included here, and we're going for Oneword on the grounds that they started first. Certainly, all of these are far superior to Yet Another MOR Pop Station (Heat, Real, Life, Heart, we're glaring at all of you.) Channel 4's proposed stations include Channel 4 and Pure 4 Radio, which should combine for at least one new format; E4 Radio, which might not; Talk Radio duplicates LBC; Closer duplicates Life et al; Sunrise duplicates the Asian Network; AAA station Original and children's Radio Disney may well count. It's not clear if The Comedy Channel will launch.

Which brings us to two shock announcements: Rupert Murdoch: I interfere in my papers' editorial lines. And Mister Blair: I have a close relationship with god. Next week: Goldilocks speaks about her friends' toilet habits.

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It's been a bad week for prochain ancien British prime minister Mr. The Soup Dragon. On Monday evening, Peter Watt resigned as Labour's general secretary. He had accepted donations from three people - one of whom is a Conservative supporter - who turned out to be fronts for David Abrahams.

(A full discussion into this affair: the planning application, the memory lapses, the rules, the letters, the cheques. 800 words)

Mr. The Soup Dragon has ordered yet more enquiries, this one to be headed by a former government minister. A former Labour government minister. Meanwhile, Liberal Democrat leadership contender Dr. Chris Huhne has invited Yates of the Yard to enquire within.

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The lies, the untruths, and the Ministry of Funk on the identity register. Meg Hillier Lab, Hackney South and Shoreditch told Monday's Indytab:

The British Social Attitudes Survey revealed that 71 per cent of the population think that ID cards would be a price worth paying to help tackle threats such as terrorism.

Yet the identity register will not do anything to tackle terrorism; even a previous minister in charge of the useless project, Mr. Tony McNulty implied that the 2005 London bombings would not have been prevented by his proposed register.

Second, no one is saying they will be the answer to everything.

This is the impression we've got from previous ministers at the Interior and Funk departments, particularly the odious right-winger Mr. Plunkett and the Safety Elephino Mr. Clarke: entry on the register will prove entitlement to use public services. It will prove entitlement to work. It will ensure that winters are mild, and summers are temperate. Okay, no-one has yet made that last claim, but they're clearly thinking it.

The Spanish police have themselves said that identifying the terrorists involved in the Madrid bombings was made easier by their national identity scheme.

We don't recall the British security services having a tremendous amount of difficulty establishing all the information about the perpetrators of their bombing. Indeed, pointing an accusing finger within five days of the explosions is a remarkable tribute to the speed with which the police worked.

Our own security services have said that ID cards will help in the fight against terrorism.

These would be the same security services that said Iraq had a viable nuclear programme? Besides, security services are the servants of the government. We appoint a government to provide checks and balances against the wishlist of MI5 and MI6, not to kow-tow to it.

Identity fraud is a real and growing threat, and we know that it enables other crime, including terrorism.

And negligent identitification is aided by a single point of failure, such as over-reliance on the SIN. Even Microsoft says that the identity register will make fraud worse, not better. Still, when there's no evidence, we can rely on the government to trumpet its own ability to keep data secure.

By linking fingerprints to a secure database with strict rules outlining its use

Here's the crux of the matter. The child benefit fiasco has proven that the government is unable to follow its own rules. Not only is it congenitally incapable of delivering a computer project to time and to budget, it is clearly incapable of designing and properly implementing a system that prevents unauthorised access. There may be rules, but past experience tells us that no one will follow them.

That is why the identity register is now dead in the water. That is why Meg Hillier needs to resign, now, before she says something that will really jeopardise her career.

no2id

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Listening to Amy MacDonald's album recently, we were wondering if she would ever sing a number one song. Turns out she already has; tucked away at the end of the album, the hidden track once the formal programme has ended, is Amy's version of Caledonia. It's just a short extract of a grand song.

Caledonia was composed by folk singer-songwriter Dougie Maclean, and released as the title track to his 1983 album. Maclean would go on to find some greater fame as the guiding force behind the Tannahill Weavers, and some readers will know him from his contribution to the soundtrack of Last of the Mohicans.

The song achieved a new lease of life in early 1992, when it was re-recorded by Frankie Millar for a beer commercial. By chance, the single came out at the start of March, just in time for the Westminster election campaign. The song was adopted by the Scottish Nationalist Party for their campaign. It spent three weeks as the best-selling single in Scotland, but such was the concentration of sales that it could only make 42 on the national chart. Until physical sales became so slim as to make the list meaningless, no other Scottish best-seller failed to make the national top 40. Here's what you'll not have heard, unless you can tell John Collins from Tom Ferrie.

There have subsequently been covers by Dolores Keane (a weedy version from someone who is as Irish as Maclean and Miller are Scottish), by Celtic Woman (even wussier and less sipid, if that's possible), by Fish (bombastic, loud, strident, and so is his interpretation), by Jim Diamond (remember him?), by Paolo Nutini, and this quiet version by MacDonald.

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(This month's stats, a discussion of this month's censorship and how it breaks RSS feeds, and an invocation of the spirit of Chris Morris.)

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Some quick notes on the ITN Sports Channel, which launched at 10am Thursday. You may know it better as Setanta Sports News.

• It takes guts to launch a channel with the standard top-of-the-hour sting, and give the headlines before welcoming us to the show. Or, almost exactly the same as the launch of the ITN News Channel in 2000.
• Cor! The old 5 News atrium. Remember when Channel 5 did news? Actually, remember Channel 5 at all? And is that the desk used by Jonathan Bumblebee and Nick Robinson for Vote 2005?
• The screen layout is trying to out-Bloomberg Bloomberg (sample Bloomberg shot, circa 2005), replacing actual content with a vam-vam-vam information blast. The presenters are squashed into a box on the right side of the screen, about two-thirds of the width, and maybe half the width of the screen. Above them, a three-line display of static captions, explaining a story. To the left, a constantly refreshing list of league tables. Below them, two scrolling tickers.
• Bloomberg, we note, has recently (and wisely) thrown away its ugly screen showing 855 pieces of information at the same time (though never the piece we want to find), and replaced it with a cleaner look. The presenter fills 90% of the screen, the ticker is reduced to two lines, and the only intrusion into the main picture are captions and the clock. There's still too much text movement, but it's far less like legions of financial statistics assaulting your brain.
• The gold standard for news presentation remains CNN International, putting up crisp one-line summaries along the bottom of the screen.
• The league tables featured are England I to V, and Scotland A to D. No Division VI, no top scorers, no rugby, no mention of the cricket score, and (shock!) no biathlon results. Canadian hockey, yes; NFL-ball, no. Wonder if they'll put up the NCAA-ball scores on Sunday morning?
• On Thursday, the tables flashed through far too quickly, spending about three seconds on each frame. This had slowed by Friday.
• And the content. What content? No actual clips of matches until after 10pm, and only an endlessly-repeated statement by Portsmouth manager Mr. Redknapp to play, and replay, and replay.
• While it's useful to show the day's fixtures, it's more useful to show such matters as the kick-off time, and which UEFA Cup group the matches are in. Braga - Bayern had resonance for British fans in a way that Elfsborg's match didn't.
• The matchday screen replaces the three-line infobox above the presenters with a five-line vidiprinter. There is call for a ticker, but we reckon the best approach was ITV2's Football First programme (1998-2003), which used the space to the side of the screen to give the score for each division in turn. It's been aped by the BBC's Score (2002-7), but seems to have fallen out of fashion in favour of tedious tickers. It'll be interesting to see a Saturday matchday, when the BBC's current ticker fails dismally, showing a match's score for about five seconds in three minutes.
• The typefaces are inconsistent, using at least four different sizes of a headline font, one that's difficult to read at the best of times. And all the writing is in capital letters, as if the channel is shouting at us to disguise the paucity of actual content.
• Quick wins? Get rid of the tables, they add nothing to the show. Move the storybox to the bottom, and give meaningful one-liners. If the ticker needs to stay during daytime programmes - and it may be easier to keep than ditch - then reduce it to a single level.
• Adding worthwhile content is more difficult, and will take time. We would hope that the ITN Sports Channel will quickly strike deals with ITV for their rights. The obsession with football is depressing, but understandable. Repeating the same clips every ten minutes through the day is not.

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European Commission plans to put police on aeroplanes have been grounded after MEPs insisted that they have a say on the matter.

Airbus is squealing because it is being very foolish. The company builds its planes in the euro-zone, pays for its orders in euro, but sells its planes in dollar. In the last couple of months, the dollar in your wallet has shrunk from €1.35 to €1.48, and shows no sign of settling against the euro. The simple answer: sell your planes in euro. Let the airlines assume the currency risk, they get enough featherbedding as it is.

Linda Colley offers a cogent, well-rounded, and thoughtful piece on how Britain's sovereignty is helped and harmed by her relationship with the Merkins.

France has become complicit in torture following a decision not to prosecute Donald Rumsveld. The Paris-based Federation of Human Rights Leagues received a letter from the prosecutors' office claiming that Rumsfeld benefited from a customary immunity from prosecution granted to heads of state and government and foreign ministers, even after they left office. This is a blatant legal fiction, not only because no such exemption exists under international law, but also because Mr. Rumsveld was never a minister in a legitimate government.

New rules will cut the time it takes for cheques to bear interest to just two days, and the deposit will be presumed to have cleared after six days. Even though shops are generally declining payment by cheque, each person writes an average of 18 cheques per year.

Richard Flanagan reflects on the legacy left by John Howaerd: Australia the follower, the timid, the fearful.

Mmm, catsuits.

Further analysis of the Australian election, where the deciding factor was some heavily anti-worker legislation; some commentators suggest that the next election will be Labour -v- Green, the individual against the collective.

And now, a joke that really shows our age. The New Morrissey Express. Or, to be exact, the NME has accused Mozza of being a racist. Again.

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2December

Tokio Hotel's new hit in Germany is An deiner seite, new at 2, and set to plunge almost as fast as a McFly song. Avantasia's Lost in space comes in at 9, and Kate Ryan enters at 13 with Voyage voyage. Jennifer has a top 3 hit in France, Tourner ma page is straight in, and only just ahead of Mondotek's Alive. New topper in the Netherlands, Nick & Simon's Pak maar m'n hand; and at Czech radio, Vayamos companeros from Marquess, already a substantial hit in Germany. Apologise takes the lead in Sweden, Latvia, and Estonia. This week's number one in Finland is Orret/Teuvo by Viikate. Title of the week goes to the Fantastischen Vier, whose cunningly-named Ichisichisichisch appears in the Luxembourg top 10. An oddity we almost don't want to think about is (Love is) a bitchslap, Sweden's number 4, from Sebastian Bach and Axl Rose. And into the Danish top 20 is a little ditty by George and Andrew. It's Last christmas time. Already.

20 13 Take That - Rule the world
19 NE Ich + Ich - Stark
18 18 Scouting For Girls - She's so lovely
17 NE Tokio Hotel - An deiner seite
16 re Hoosiers - Goodbye Mr A
15 10 Britney Spears - Gimme more
14 19 Sheryfa Luna - Quelque part
13 NE Bloc Party - Flux
12 14 Ketevan Melua - If you were a sailboat
11 11 Freemasons - Uninvited
10 12 Alicia Keys - No one
 9  9 Céline Dion - Taking chances
 8  5 Kylie Minogue - 2 hearts
 7  3 James Blunt - 1973
 6  4 Plain White Ts - Hey there Delilah
 5  6 Mika - Happy ending
 4  8 Rihanna - Don't stop the music
 3  7 Leona Lewis - Bleeding love
 2  2 Timberyokel - Apologise
 1  1 Sugababes - About you now

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2December

The usual rush of newies down the bottom of the 75 contain a few surprises. Not so much Booty Love (Some kinda rush, 73) nor Shayne Ward (If that's OK with you, 72; the B-side to No you hang up is available separately.) The shock comes at 71 where Ernie K-Doe charts with Here come the girls. He's been missing from the lists since 1961, and breaks the record for longest gap between top 75 hits previously held by (er) Tony Blackburn. Thanks, Ernie. This is the life for Amy MacDonald, in at 67; Newton Faulkner's Teardrop, a Massive Attack cover, is in at 66. Uniting Nations advise Do it yourself (64), the Twang Push the ghosts (63), and Pestside cover Brad Paisley on I'm already there (62). Hayley from Paramore has the best idea what to do with the Irish cretins: get out your stilletto heel and Crushcrushcrush (61).

New entries for Peter Gelderblom (Waiting 4, 56) and David Guetta (Baby when the light, 55). Maroon 5 can only make 44. Please let it miss the 40! And there are re-entries galore: Feist's 1234 is 57 as another round of television advertising begins. And the three-week campaign by certain radio stations pays off: they've Really been playing festive records since mid-November, it's a Real pain in the ass, we're Really re-tuning to avoid this nonsense, but Wizzard makes 65, Wham! 50, and Andy Williams's It's the most wonderful time of the year makes its chart debut at 43.

Hurt made 11 for Clitring Aguilera just over a year ago; it's now back at 39 following the song's death on X Factor a week ago. Far better is the Sugababes, Change lands at 36 two weeks before its official release; not convinced about the video, but class song. A re-entry at 33 for Fairytale of New Amsterdam, originally a number 2 hit in 1987, then 36 in 1991, 3 in 2005, and 6 last year. Sean Kingston's second single, Me love, shoots up 30 to 32, but that looks like the peak because it's out on physicals. If that's OK with you appears at 30 as the flip-side: it's only a few weeks since Amy Whingebag was clogging up the top 40 with two versions of Marblesinmymouth. Dance act Pendulum have their biggest hit, number 29 for Granite beats the 34 placing for Slam in September 2005.

Highest new entry honours to the Editors, The racing rats makes number 26, and eclipses An end has a start by a place. Mariah Cantsing is up 23 to 23; it made number 2 in 1994, and had us thanking East 17. Where's me dumper?! The Spice Girls slip 11-21, and Nickelback hit a new peak, Rockstar goes 21-19. Fastest climber within the top 40 is Soulja Boy, with his pattern dance so easy that British comedian Will Smith can do it. This week's Elvis Presley re-release is An american trilogy, originally a number 8 hit in summer 1972. This week, number 12.

Oh gawds, Pestside move back into the top 10, displacing the Sugababes. Crushcrushcrush. Top five: Timberyokel down 1, Take That down 1, Council Estate Slippers up 6, T2 holds at 2, and Leona takes the top spot for week (counts) 6.

On the album chart, Leona Lewis holds number one for a third week. Shayne Ward comes in at 2, and Lykie Blankcanvas is in at 4. Russell Watson is new at 14, the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards make 17, Michael Bubble rises to 18, James Blunt to 24, Newton Faulkner to 27. Cowell's Got Money products Connie Talbot (35) and Paul Potts (38) are full of fail, but do outsell John Barrowman (40). All Angels make 44, Simon and Garfunkel 47, Foster and Allen 50, Genesis 51, Teatro 52, and Richard Fleeshman 71.

 1  1 Leona Lewis - Burning love
11 10 Sugababes - About you now
13 13 Bloc Party - Flux
15 15 Freemasons - Uninvited
20 20 Hoosiers - Goodbye Mr. A
26 NE Editors - The racing rats
27 28 Mika - Happy ending
31 19 Runrig / Tartan Army - Loch Lomond
33 re Pogues / Kirsty MacColl - Fairytale of New Amsterdam
36 NE Sugababes - Change
37 32 Scouting for Girls - She's so lovely
43 NE Andy Williams
  - It's the most wonderful time of the year
47 53 Newton Faulkner - Dream catch me
49 45 Hoosiers - Worried about Ray
57 re Feist - 1234
59 39 Led Zeppelin - Stairway to heaven
61 NE Paramore - Crushcrushcrush
63 NE Twang - Push the ghosts
67 NE Amy MacDonald - This is the life
74 50 KT Tunstall - Saving my face

.. 57 McFly - The heart never lies
.. 59 Robyn - With every heartbeat
.. 60 Linkin Park - Shadow of the day
.. 64 Killers - Mr brightside
.. 65 Reverend and the Makers - Open your window
.. 68 Åvril Lavignnesøn - Hot
.. 70 Hard-Fi - Can't get along without you
.. 71 Céline Dion - Taking chances
.. 72 Wombats - Let's dance to Joy Division

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2December

This week, we've been watching and hearing...

• More or Less (OU / Radio 4) What companies can do with large amounts of data; why Oxfam is telling bullshit about weather disasters to boost its income; counterblasting against the Quants from four weeks ago; and what a supercomputer can do, a Turing machine can do. This show
• I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (Radio 4) One word sentences don't work.
• From Calvary to Lambeth (Radio 4) nominally discussed Desmond Tutu's life and career. In reality, it was a counterblast against the African church's obsession with homosexuality, against more pressing matters like the death of their congregation through poverty. Ann Widdecombe put forward the bigoted view, so no change there.
• Listen Against (Radio 4) That's except for listeners to Radio 3.
• Feedback (City Broadcasting / Radio 4) Who has the most podcast listeners, why the Arabic rioters in Paris weren't always described, what the hell the PRS thinks it's doing (and why won't it appear in public to justify its actions) and a real investigation of the Feedback spoof.
• The Late Edition (The Fourth Programme) With Mr. Benn, and Will Smith learning the Crank. That's the British comedian Will Smith, a man whiter than hospital sheets.

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2December

Pervez Musharraf announced that the state of emergency in Pakistan will be lifted on 16 December, ahead of elections on 8 January. There were riots in Paris, after some spectacularly rubbish drivers killed themselves by crashing into a police car. Talks failed to bring about a settlement in Kosov@, bringing the possibility of a UDI closer. Peter Garrett became the first pop star to enter a national cabinet, appointed Australia's environment minister. He beats Runrig's Peter Wishart, merely an MP.

In addition to the party funding row, this week's tabloid frothing was about a British teacher in Sudan, jailed for two weeks after one of her class called a teddy bear after a fellow pupil, Mohammed. And the Iranian opposition successfully petitioned to have themselves removed from the UK terrorist blacklist.

Saskatchewan defeated Winnipeg 23:19 to win the XCV Grey Cup in Toronto. It's the Roughriders' first championship since 1989.

We regret to report the death of Verity Lambert, creator of Minder, Eldorado, and May to December; and of Tony Holland, creator of Eastenders.

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2December

Another quiet week, with a light south-westerly wind ensuring that temperatures never dipped very much. Low pressure moved in from the Atlantic on Saturday, bringing sharp showers; a longer period of rain and strong winds passed over on Sunday morning.

26 Mo fog                5/ 8, 0.5
27 Tu cloud              8/10
28 We cloud              6/ 9
29 Th sun                7/ 9
30 Fr cloud, rain late   7/13, 1.5
01 Sa wind, showers      5/ 8, 3.5
02 Su wind, rain to sun  8/11,10.5

Rainfall in November: 57.5mm; monthly average: 84mm

Rainfall in December: 14mm; monthly average: 67mm

Degree heating days: 128
2006-7: 35/499
2005-6: 117½/684
2004-5: 110/556
2003-4: 136/754

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