At this point, we note Sweeping the Nation has published the Radio 1 playlist from this week. If you don't want to know what's going to be a hit, open this in another tab.

In at number 28 came 2K, performing ***k the millennium. This was the final dabbling in music by Jimmy Cauty and Bill Drummond, the art-rockers who had made their money from their KLF project. The number one hit Doctorin' the TARDIS (1988) had been shamelessly commercial, and spawned the seminal book The Manual: How to Have a Number One the Easy Way, advice followed (inter alia) by Edelweiss, whose Bring me edelweiss made number 5 in 1989, and more recently by the Pipettes. The KLF released five singles between August 1990 and February 1992; all made the top 5 in the UK. They'd go on to burn One Million Pounds, Cash, on a Scottish island, award a prize for the most ludicrous work of art (which, strangely, always went to the Turner prize winner), and proposed a People's Pyramid of recycled bricks; this didn't get planning permission, though someone else's equally outlandish plan to put a Ferris wheel on the south bank of the Thames did come to fruition.

2K was Drummond and Cauty's response to the millennium celebrations, scheduled for two years hence. The duo worked with Jeremy Deller, who had turned acid house tracks into brass band arrangements, including the KLF's What time is love?. A one-off concert at the Barbican on 17 September included Cauty and Drummond in motorised wheelchairs, a male choir performing K cera cera, Viking society lifeboatmen, and the Liverpool dockers - who had been striking for over a year - chanting Fuck the millennium, we want it now. The single was (officially, but not really) recorded at the live event, and included the Acid Brass remix of What time is love?. As we said about Sparks, there has been no return to the chart for the duo in the decade since.

(More: Corrs, Vanessa Mae, Rolf Harris, Smash Mouth, Jimmy Ray, Ash, and Pete Waterman's Favourite Band, Ever!)

Which leaves just one song, and there can be only one. Five weeks of Mawk give way to seven days of Spice: the girls' fifth commercial single becomes their fifth number one single as Spice up your life sells 250,000 copies in a week. It's not the most inspiring song ever recorded, desperately Spice-by-numbers, but it's a breath of fresh air compared to the insufferably cloying naffness we'd had in the weeks before.

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We begin our dance in Poland, where polling was so heavy in some regions that the supply of ballot papers ran out. The results showed that the governing far-right Law and Order party has been soundly defeated. The centre-right Civic Platform (43,7%) finished six seats short of an overall majority, but can certainly count on the support of the Polish Peasant's Party (8,4%). PIS (30,4%) leader Jaroslaw "The Fowl" Kaczynski has submitted his resignation from the post of prime minister, with Civic Platform leader Donald Tusk nominated to replace him.

There is a further point to note. President Lech "The Poultry" Kaczynski, the twin brother of Jaroslaw, has said that he will veto anything the parliament passes that he disagrees with. His veto can be over-ridden by 60% of the parliament, and Civic Platform may well be able to count on the support of the left-leaning Left and Democrats group (13,3%), the union of the Solidarity party and the former communists.

(More: Switzerland, Slovenia, Turkey, Sheep, and Ducks)

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Piers Corbyn is a man who believes that there's a direct correlation between solar output and the weather in Britain. He's made predictions of not one, not two, but three storms to strike the UK during the next month and a bit: one on 26 Oct - 1 Nov, with gusts of 80mph. One on 8-13 Nov, gusts of 90mph, tornadoes, and Scotland getting the worst of it. And one on 24-28 Nov, gusts of 90mph, and hitting central England worst. (Cheers.) In his press release, Mr. Corbyn said that Scientists or journalists who make baseless claims on Climate should be 'named and shamed'.. Mystic Mug will return to this prediction at the start of December.

ρ writes on the T part of LGBT.

Het Grauniad wonders who counts as a cultural ambassador for dance, especially now that Darcey Bussel has hung up her tutu.

Simon Jenkins comments on how Menzies Campbell failed the Big Brother test. Leaders have come to treat the polls as proxies for the other activities that comprise a participatory democracy. They have allowed their servants to become their masters.

Burkesworks asks, Any chance of getting Julia Goldsworthy to roll around naked in a field? Not that we're aware of, though Mr. Works is welcome to ask. We were rather hoping to give you the next best thing, footage of Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury Julia Goldsworthy Empee MP from The Games 2006, performing a gymnastic routine to the sound of the Kaiser Chiefs. Regrettably, or mercifully, we're not able to find footage of this momentous event anywhere on the interwebs, so you'll have to write to Endemol and ask for a copy.

Canada will not face an early election, after Liberal leader Stéphane Dion said that the Liberals would abstain on the confidence motion. Dion said that her party would introduce amendments to reverse a decision on income trusts, to pull out of Afghanistan by February 2009, and to participate in the Eurovision Song Contest like she did twenty years ago. Prime minister Stephen Harpy twanged on about nothing much. Recent polls, and a by-election, show that the Liberals would not win a general election were one to be held now.

Nor will Britain face a referendum on the Lisbon treaty; Andrew Grice explains why the Europhobes are never satisfied, even when Europe is gravitating closer to the social-exclusion model proposed by the current British government. The 1990 deeper, closer union is off the books, yet the reactionaries want more.

JKR O'ling offered speculation about her own books. It was in her gift to portray her characters in whatever way she chose; that she failed to take that opportunity is her own problem, and it is now far too late for her to amend her works. What is not in the book (and that includes everything from the television adaptations) is not in the canon. We expect Mrs. O'ling to be visited by the LiteraTecs, presumably carrying a one-way ticket to the Well of Lost Plots. Or just fans grousing about pandering to bigots for the sake of money.

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D J Taylor muses about the role of the BBC, and makes useful comments. What "choice" actually means, in the modern media world, is the liberty to decide between a few very good things and a large number of mediocre to downright awful ones. and There is no popular culture any more – here defined as something that ordinary people fashion for themselves – there is only an Americanised mass culture imposed from above, and about as inherently diverse as the political opinions of the Chinese communist party.

We do wonder how the Telegraph can write a three-page piece on Cbeebies and not once mention Pui Fan Lee's most famous role.

From the most recent OFCOM Moaning Minnies Fortnightly:

Iggy Pop is one of the wildest men in rock music and, as such, he has a built-in content advisory warning.

How incorrect methodology leads people to think that IQ tests measure something worth measuring. We've said often, long, and hard that IQ tests measure nothing more and nothing less than how good one is at taking IQ tests. Now there's some evidence that they're so confuddled as to be nothing more than a parlour game.

Here's something we've sent to the Newswatch grouse form:

Dear BBC,

The headline to your recent story regarding Commons sitting days, MPs get four more days of holiday, is completely contradicted by the actual content, MPs will sit for a greater number of days in 2007-8 than in the previous 12-month period..

Is it too much to ask that journalists stop giving emotive and blatantly inaccurate headlines, and stick to the actual facts? The honest headline here is, Commons sitting days announced. Anything else is opinion.

Yours, Weaver.

The following correction appeared in the Indytab on Tuesday:

The Chancellor of the Exchequer has told us that Simon Carr was wrong to suggest (parliamentary Sketch 19 October and column 22 October) that he had lied to the House when he told MPs, during the pre-Budget report debate, that the Government would have made the inheritance tax announcement even if the Conservatives had not made their promise to raise the threshold. We are happy to put the record straight on this matter.

First question on this week's Brian of Britain: The mouflon is what sort of animal? Proof, after seven and a half years, that it pays to read Tuesday Morning Quarterback, if not to research that the cognomen was first used in 2002, week 3. Easterbrook was banging on about the monopoly satellite coverage even then... A later question refers to pro-tomatos, a concept in some faith systems.

The latest bonkers idea to come out of Italy: registration and tax for bloggers.

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A quick update on Nightwish, who we heard last year with their version of Walking in the air. Since then, the group has lost its vocalist Tarja Turunen to artistic differences. Read, the rest of the band couldn't stand her incessant screeching. Her replacement is Anette Olsen, a mere mezzo-soprano, whose sound has variously been described as a breath of cool Nordic air, and that of a Swedish popstrel. Anyway, we have no idea what the hell Amaranth is about, or even what Olsen is singing, only that it's a damned catchy tune.

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The Ask the Underground letterbox has been fluttering recently. Mr. GB of Leeds wrote,

Dear The Underground,
Can you explain why the ticket desk sold me 'not Reading' tickets to go to Paignton? I don't think that's possible!

Correspondent Octopus was along the right lines, in referring to the horror story that is The National Routeing Guide (covers eyes with fingers, hides behind sofa). Makes planning the Circle line a doddle, that does.

Consulting the NRG shows that (effectively) there are two routes from your suburb of Leeds, or Wimbledon as the locals quaintly call it, to Exeter; after Exeter, your route is determined. You can go along the Great Western line from Paddington direct to Exeter, or change at Reading or Swindon or Bristol (but nowhere further west than Bristol), and then head for Exeter. Or you can take the Sarf West train from Waterloo via Basingstoke. There's no route passing north of the Great Western line, though the South Coast line from Basingstoke through Bournemouth to Weymouth is legal. You can, of course, mix and match your routes, using local trains, so long as you don't pass through a station twice. The most awkward route (and perfectly legal) is Wimbledon - Basingstoke - Weymouth - Castle Carey - Exeter.

Because there are so many routes, the people at Notional Rail have made a complete guess at how many people will use each service to get to Exeter. Completely off the top of my head, let's say they've worked out the following allocations, as a percentage of route miles between Wimbledon and Exeter:

• Great Western: 55%
• Sarf West: 30%
• Virgin Trains: 5%
• Wessex Trains: 4%
• The Underground: 3%
• Thames Trains: 2%
• Southern Trains: 1%

So, of the £65 return fare, and using these example figures, just over half goes to Great Western, a third to Sarf West, and a couple of quid comes to me, The Underground. That's how to put a smile on my roundel!

But it's perfectly possible for train companies to sell cheaper tickets that are valid only on their trains, or that make it difficult to use someone else's service. Wimbledon to Paignton Avoiding Reading means that it's very difficult to use the Great Western lines at all - you'd have to have a train going from Basingstoke to Didcot avoiding Reading, and in regular service, there are precisely none of those.

That means Great Western gets exactly nothing, and the allocation might be something like this:

• Sarf West: 90%
• Virgin Trains: 5%
• Wessex Trains: 5%

Rather than getting a third of 65 quid, Sarf West gets the vast majority of 55 quid. They come out quids in, the passenger gets there, slower, but cheaper. A win for everyone, except The Underground; as there's no legal route that takes people through central London, The Underground gets nothing from the deal, and thinks that we should bury Sarf West Trains somewhere beneath Archway Station.

This is known in the trade as an ORCATS raid. ORCATS is the Office of the Rail Regulator's Choice model for the Allocation of Ticket revenue to Service codes. The ORCATS figures (the real ones, not the ones I plucked out of my arse Beckton above) are based on how passengers travel, and divvy up the revenue accordingly. You might think of ORCATS as a bit like LOLCATS, only funnier and geekier. But you're probably best not thinking of ORCATS in the first place, making it entirely like LOLCATS.

Ask The Underground. That'll be all.

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A child arrested by French police, for breaking French law, passed by a democratic French government, is a cause celebre after being designated a national hero by M. Popup, and blamed for France's woeful performance in last week's rugby play-off. France Profonde is as confused as the rest of us

Jerry Pournelle considers the various options regarding the prevention of piracy.

Het Grauniad reports that Labour is to abandon renewable energy targets, as they're too hard.

On Monday, the Daily Hell suggested that the British population would increase by 20 million over the next two decades. On Tuesday, Het Graunaid proposed a 10 million increase over that period. Clearly, the net change is halving on a daily basis, and if we wait another couple of weeks, the increase will be lost in the statistical noise.

After the wettest summer since the invention of the rain gague, what's the government's response? Tighten the rules on drought orders. That's the optimistic streak we've come to associate with The Soup Dragon!

Eurostar to sell through fares from UK stations is not news - they've been doing that since day 1. But being able to book online is a novelty. £77 is the cheapest return quoted from Neustraßebahnhof, we presume to Lille.

YUM is a force, a relatively small but intrinsic strand of the Divine Force.

In a piece for the Universial Daily Rubbishtab, Jonathan Sacks asks,

What happens when we lose moral consensus? Morality is reduced to taste. "Good" and "bad" become like yum and yugh.

At which point we start to invoke people like the SHP and the KOS, who have written a philosophical tract about the concepts of YUM and YUK. Do keep up at the back, Dr. Sax.

Simon Jenkins has a pretty darned convincing reason why there should be a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty: because Mr. The Soup Dragon promised one. Normally, such changes could reasonably be left to Parliament, but the present Labour government was elected with a specific promise to put the document to a plebiscite. They declare that "treaties should be a matter for governments" not referendums. Democratic legitimacy is derived from general election mandates. This might wash in most cases, but the 2005 mandate was specific. On the "flagship issue" of Europe it was to hold a referendum. By no mangling of words can this be called a mandate not to hold a referendum. On the other hand, if the government won't trust the public to judge that matter, it may come back at the ensuing general election.

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When we stopped putting new information on our Livejournal account, we said that we would leave the RSS feeds alone unless they were infested by advertising. The recent implementation of Snap on all external links meets our harsh definition of advertising.

Accordingly, we will to-day be redirecting all Livejournal traffic from the existing feeds to a feed containing very short summaries only. This redirection will be lifted once it is demonstrated to our satisfaction that external links do not carry any advertising.

Readers may wish to use the following alternative feeds:

The Snow in the Summer or So-So - Long feed (unchanged); Abbreviated feed (the one previously syndicated to Livejournal)

A Glicko Sports Blog - Full feed

This is Weaver continues unaltered.

The new feeds are made out of Ice Crystals, a summary blog we've been quietly working on for the past couple of months. More on this project.

We have revised the Readme file to reflect these changes.

Though we think we know roughly what we're doing, we can never be entirely sure that all this will work correctly. Readers can expect a small flood of old posts later to-day. This is regrettable; please send your complaints to Six Apart, for it is their foolishness that has led to this sorry state of affairs. If things remain broken on Sunday morning, please holler.

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28October

Melissa M is the new number one in France, Elle is a reggae tune. David Guetta puts Baby when the light in at 6. Plain White Ts take over at the top in Germany, but don't fret, for the Sugababes are straight in at number 8. Huzzah! Nanne's back into the top ten in Sweden, with Pissenisse. A new most-played song in Czechia, Enrique's Do you know; Duran Duran put Falling down into the top 10. Sputnik enter at 2 in Norway with Fuck deg, already a top 20 hit for Sichelle. Leona Lewis is the new best-seller in Ireland, with Birtney and Take That in the top 3. Creamy Muck McFly can only manage number 16.

20 18 Ich + Ich - Von sielbern stern
19 NE Hoosiers - Goodbye Mr A
18 NE Britney Spears - Gimme more
17 NE Freemasons - Uninvited
16 11 Robyn - With every heartbeat
15 re Avril Lavigne - When you're gone
14 16 Culcha Candela - Hamma
13 10 K T Tunstall - Hold on
12 NE Timberyokel - Apologise
11 12 Enrique Iglesias - Tired of being sorry
10  8 Stacey Ferguson - Big girls don't cry
 9  9 Feist - 1, 2, 3, 4
 7 NE Mika - Happy ending
 7  7 Sean Kingston - Beautiful girls
 6  6 24 New Pence - Ayo technology
 5  5 Scouting For Girls - She's so lovely
 4  4 Timberyokel - The way oi are
 3  2 Plain White Ts - Hey there Delilah
 2  3 Sugababes - About you now
 1  1 James Blunt - 1973

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28October

This week's Sex Pistols re-release is Holidays in the sun, number 74. Sean Kingston puts Me love at 71, Andrea Bocelli's Con te partiro is new at 69. We've not heard this, but it's better than the version featuring Sarah Brightman. Obviously. Shame as Mutya Buena's Just a little bit only makes 65, behind Take That's previous two number one singles. Newton Faulkner's second release, All I got, enters at 59, just behind Nickelback's Rockstar (up 6). Leona Lewis has three songs in the top 60; A moment like this re-enters at 55, Forgiveness is the B-side to her single, and makes 46 under its own steam. The Courteeners come in at 44 with Acrylic, and the Follow That! files note that Robyn's Handle me is in at 43, outperforming her last single by just two places.

New at 40 comes Chris Brown with a song called Kiss kiss. It's not a Tarkan cover. Nicole Scherzinger's is the third song in two months to track 34-39. Worried about Ray is back up three to 34, the first song to make that move since Bob Marley's Turn your lights down low on Boxing Day 1999. Rihanna still has three singles in the 40, including two of the fastest climbers; Umbrella up 3 to 33, Hate that I love you up 4 to 25. It's the first time Umbrella has gone up the chart in its 24 years weeks on release; first climb after this long has never happened before. Jennifer Lopez slips 10 to 30, her first single not to make the top 15. Samim is new at 29 with Heater, which is rubbish; N-Dubz come in at 26 with You better not waste my time, which was bouncing around the top 200 on downloads for the first few months of this year but still sounds worse than rubbish. Backstreet Boys' Inconsolable seems to have been around for ages, probably because it sounds like every other song they've done. It's in at 24, and would be their first hit to miss the top 20 since their Radio 1 debut in summer 1996.

This week's Elvis re-issue is If I can dream, number 17. Slightly surprised to see Mika drop out of the top 10 after just one week. Even more surprised to see Oasis in at 10 with Lord don't slow me down, their lowest entry position since Live forever came in at 10 in August 1994. None of Oasis's previous 23 hit singles has climbed above its original entry position; with this song being download only, at least one of the facts above must change. The top 5: Amy Whingebag and the Sugababes drop three places to 5 and 4 respectively, making way for an all-new top three. It's nine years since the All-New Top Five, headed by Cher. This week, McFly come in at 3 with The heart never lies, about par for their course. Take That leap from 46 to 2 with Rule the world, the group's first number 2 single since Why can't I wake up with you in February 1993, before any of their ten number ones. Or their number 15. All of which leaves Leona Lewis at number 1, performing Burning love. Of the previous winners of Musical Chairs For A Recording Contract (thanks, Brig), only Willy Oung began his career with two consecutive number one singles. Is Leona going to be as successful as him, as lasting as Lemar, or merely the new Shayne Ward?

On the albums, the Hoosiers take over at number 1 with The Trick to Life. Van Morrison's latest hits collection is in at 2, with Mark Ronson, the Sugababes, and Amy Whingebag rounding out the top 5. The Stereophonics slump 1-6. Neil Young's in at 14 with Chrome Dreams 2, the Ultimate Santana makes 16, and Michael Ball's Back to Bacharach enters at 20. Orson's Culture Vultures come in at 25, former System of a Down frontsbaldie Serj Tankian Elect the Dead at 26, and the best of Stylistics at 32. Also in: Coheed and Cambria (41), Journey South (43), Dave Gahan (50), and Aly and AJ (72). Slump of the week is from Jennifer Lopez, 24-64; the Beatles' Red album is at 71.

 1 NE Leona Lewis - Burning love
 3 NE McFly - The heart never lies
 4  1 Sugababes - About you now
 8  8 Freemasons - Uninvited
 9  4 Hoosiers - Goodbye Mr. A
12  7 Mika - Happy ending
18 12 Scouting for Girls - She's so lovely
22 15 Wombats - Let's dance to Joy Division
34 37 Hoosiers - Worried about Ray
36 19 Feist - 1234
41 43 30 Seconds to Mars - The kill (rebirth)
43 NE Robyn - Handle me
44 NE Courteeners - Acrylic
45 38 Robyn - With every heartbeat
47 49 Newton Faulkner - Dream catch me
49 51 Åvril Lavignnesøn - Hot
51 13 Killers - Tranquilise
52 32 Aly and AJ - Potential breakup song
62 41 Jack Penate - Second minute or hour
65 NE Mutya Buena - Just a little bit
67 54 Mika - Big girl (you are beautiful)

.. 48 Amy MacDonald - Ell eh
.. 50 Hives - Tick tick boom
.. 63 Åvril Lavignnesøn - When you're gone
.. 65 Sex Pistols - Pretty vacant
.. 67 Avenged Sevenfold - Almost easy

Beneath the 75: Mel C's This time struggles to number 94, Seth Lakeman also hits the top 100. Sigur Rós put Hljomalind at 109, Jimmy Eat World's Big casino enters at 119. Hard-Fi's new single Can't get along without you makes 179. Re-entries for songs from Dirty Dancing after its airing on television; and spooky songs led by Thriller. On the albums, Paul Weller's deluxe re-release of Wild Wood made 88.

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28October

This week, we've been watching and hearing...

• University Challenge (BBC2) Matchsticks, ready!
• Classical Star (BBC2) It's not Witanhurst, and it's not... anything.
• Panorama (BBC1) The third investigation into FIFA's corrupt practices, this time on how the organisation takes bribes when awarding the World Cup. And how Seb Coe is involved in the shenanigans.
• E4 School of Performing Arts (E4) Four weeks in, and still pulling characters out of the bag?
• Feedback (City Broadcasting / Radio 4) Is there too much music on Radio 4? When is the Shipping Forecast not the Shipping Forecast? Is that a Harley on your sound effects tape, or an old banger? And Melanie Philips: why?
• The Gallery (Ratbag / Oneword) Going fortnightly and on the web? Good luck, we mean it, coz you'll need it.

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28October

A report into May's Scottish Elections was published. In the elections, 140,000 ballots were found void in whole or in part, thanks to three different votes on two forms. Ron Gould found that ministers in Edinburgh and London focussed on partisan interests, and treated voters as an afterthought. At the time, both branches of government were headed by Labour.

The European Union proposed a "blue card" programme to attract skilled migrants by removing the need to obtain work permits.

We regret to report the death of Kim Beazley, long-standing Australian MP and father of the former Labor Party leader; and of Myles Rudge, writer of such classics as Right said Fred and A windmill in old Amsterdam.

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28October

The week was dominated by high pressure in the vicinity of the UK, which kept advancing weather systems entirely at bay. Cloud increased markedly from Wednesday onwards, after the centre of pressure moved to the near continent, introducing slightly moister air; temperatures remained around normal until Saturday. A cold front passed over during the week-end, bringing about four hours of rain to most parts, and clearing the skies behind it.

22 Mo cloud              4/10
23 Tu sun                2/11
24 We cloud              0/11
25 Th cloud              9/10
26 Fr cloud              8/11
27 Sa cloud             10/15
28 Su rain to sun       13/16, 4.0

Rainfall in October: 38mm; monthly average: 69mm

Degree heating days: 30½
2006-7: 0/499
2005-6: 0/684
2004-5: 15½/556
2003-4: 50/754

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