27August

Wolverhampton talent at number 60, with Cornershop's Brimful of Asha making its debut. Evolving from General Havoc, active in Preston circa 1991, the group was praised to the nines by the NME, particularly after burning a picture of Morrissey, whom the rag believed to be racist. Three years of low-key singles and albums kept them on the scene, but the band never looked like rising above a Division III group. Even their first top-75 hit single, the number 60 placing of Brimful of Asha, impressed very few people. This was a tedious single, which just sat there, defying someone to have a go. Norman Cook took up the challenge, sped up the song by about 40%, and within six months, the band had a number one single. Result! Or not: Tajinder Singh and his revolving crew were not cut out for fame, and three albums in the years since have met with moderate success. Our featured song is from Handcream for a Generation, the group's 2002 album. It's called Lessons learned from rocky one to rocky three.

(More: Soul II Soul, Radish, UB40, Conner Reeves)

Puff Daddy dropped one to 4, and Shola Ama had the highest new entry at 3. You're the one I love was an original composition, and followed up the tremendous success of You might need somebody by giving her the biggest hit of her career. No move at 2 for Chumbawumba, and third week at the top for Will Smith.

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28August

Delays are due to track shortages on the Hammersmith and City Line, and other excuses for late running. (Requires javascript from abac.com)

We hear that Transport for London has rejected an advertisement for a dildo. TFL is entitled to do this, but if they're proposing to ban any commercial that someone might find offensive, they may as well remove all adverts from their entire network right now and be done with it. Still, we expect nothing but hypocricy from Mr. Livingstone.

Jeremy Seabrook on why capitalism is creating an underclass. Yes, it's all tremendously old hat, but those who would claim to rule us, and the selfish people who put them there, still haven't realised this salient fact.

Antigua is annoyed that the damned Yankees have banned internet gambling outside their proclaimed territory, but haven't bothered to ban it within their borders. Antigua is really annoyed, and has applied to the World Trade Organisation for permission to impose tit-for-tat sanctions. Antigua's chosen target? Intellectual property claimed by Yankees. If accepted, it would be goodbye to patents, farewell to copyrights, and precisely 2.0 fingers to the various industry cartels feathering their own nests.

Tim Harford on why we need a little inflation.

We've long said that an election this autumn was a distinct possibility, and the latest word is that it might be more likely than not. Gilles Duceppe, leader of the Bloc Québécois, says that his party will not support the Conservative government if it does not announce its intention to withdraw from Afghanistan. M. Deceptive says that his party would not back Mr. Harpy's Speech From the Throne unless there was a commitment to withdraw from Afghanistan by 2009. The leader of the opposition, Céline Dion, declined to warble a comment.

At some point, we really will have to compile a Best Bits page, of all the articles we've written that make a point. In the interim, we may have spotted a hole in the hierarchy of charity: does bullying people into donating to your cause actually count as giving unwillingly, or is it such a low act that it is no longer A Good Thing?

The Green party leadership debate (as in, whether they should have a leader) is being played out on the comment pages of the Indytab. Jenny Jones argues that a single leader is a retrograde step. We have no particular position on this matter, but the least the Greens need is a small number of regular commentators who can get themselves on the telly and radio at least as often as Sharmi Chakrabati. Name recognition, that's the tonic.

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29August

A few thoughts on the state of the parties.

1a. Health permitting, Mr. Campbell needs to remain as leader until the next general election. Possibly longer. Losing Mr. Kennedy was unfortunate, and once he's back in better health, it would be good PR to appoint him to a senior position (home affairs?)

1b. Mr. Cameron is the first credible Conservative prime minister since Mr. Major. This, alone, should ensure his critics concentrate on policy rather than personality. His eighteen-month honeymoon is now over.

1c. Mr. Brown is Mister Blair's heir. This is both an advantage, as the personalised opposition is melting away; and a disadvantage, as there is no clear shift in policy. He has a maximum of 34 months, and probably not much more than 20, remaining to prove himself in office before seeking re-election.

2a. Since Mr. Kennedy's departure, the psephology has changed. The flow of 2% of the electorate from the Conservatives to the Lib Dems in late 2005 has been reversed, and is now running in the opposite direction. Assuming that two-fifths of these people will return to the Conservatives by the next election, this transfer costs the Lib Dems around 9 seats, mostly to the Conservatives. It also gives the Conservatives a boost in about 20 Labour seats, sufficient to cost Mr. Brown his working majority.

3a. At this stage, the most likely outcome of the next general election is a hung parliament, or a government without a clear working majority. It is too early to determine whether the Liberal Democrats will be able to choose their coalition partners.

4. Mr. Campbell and his party need to determine if they are a party of tactical opposition to the Conservatives, if they are a party of tactical opposition to Labour, or if they are a party of philosophical difference to the other large minorities. Assuming the latter, Mr. Campbell and other leading lights need to articulate their different position.

(More: There are actually twelve points here.)

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29August

Philip Hensher growls about companies that expect us to do their work: If they started a cruise company, you'd be instructed to bring your own oars, and then charged when they registered as excess baggage.

Language Log has one of its occasional posts on how the press avoid taboos, and how Reuters headlines confuse, terribly. Is it that Reuters has fallen victim to the Caption Contest fad?

Stop buying Amy Whingebag's CDs, say the singers in-laws. It's not because they've suddenly become ashamed of the gross inadequacies of Mrs. Fielder-Civil's tuneless recordings, but because they're worried that Whingebag is spending the royalties on hard drugs, some of which are going to her husband. Of course, readers who are suffering from a momentary lapse in their usual impeccable taste and are gripped by sudden urges to hear a Whingebag track might wish to download it in from one of those dodgy sites. Or they might like to head off to Klassikaraadio, top tunes from l'estonie.

Some of our regular readers will be interested in Metafilter's discussion of the nomic games, including a rule-changing variant of poker: rather than playing with cash or chips, a hand is played with various proposed rules, and those who accept the change as part of the bet cannot then vote against them later.

Others will be interested in Metafilter's discussion of the impossibility of finding a totally fair system of voting. It is, of course, possible to construct a totally unfair system of voting, or at least that's the impression we get every May from Terry Wogan.

We rather missed the Kerrrrap! awards last week. Can't think why, other than the salient fact that the magazine is to print as the radio station (now in its fourth year of broadcasting in dissatisfactorily compressed mono) is to, er, radio. Where were we? Making a very bad joke: 30 Seconds to Mars won an award. Best Lean.

We've recently been reading Harry Harris's book Hold the Back Page, an A-Z of how footballing journalist Harry Harris saved football in general, Tottenham in particular, and Robert Maxwell specifically. He's great when writing about the Spurs, but that makes about 20 pages of a 250-page tome. He goes on and on about matters that were important while he was writing the book (the 2006 hunt for an England manager, the Panorama programme into bungs) that were forgotten within a year. I've borrowed this from a friend: the cover price was £16.99, he picked it up for 99p in a clearance, and doesn't want it back. Don't blame him.

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30August

It's five years since Busted first appeared on the scene, with their kick-off song What I go to school for. The group - monobrowed Charlie Simpson, James Bourne, and Mattie Jay - combined the fast-fading boybands of the turn of the century with the fad for pop-punk. Careful picking of singles from the group's two albums ensured a permanent place on the top 40 show, but it all came to an end at the start of 2005.

Leaving the audience wanting more was a good idea for Simpson, who followed his rock muse to form the surprisingly hard-rocking Fightstar; a bad idea for Bourne, whose Son of Dork was a one-song wonder; and not the best for Jay, who started using his real name Willis, and is remembered - if at all - for winning last year's edition of Ich Bin Ein Star... Holt Mich Hier Raus!

The solo careers amounted to nothing, but the group as a whole was a success. Songwriter Tom Fletcher has gone on to enjoy success with his band McFly, and their three year span of success is already longer than Busted's. Year 3000 was the group's biggest hit internationally, the only one to make the Eurochart top 10, reaching 2 in the UK, 21 in Germany, and 45 in France. It's since been re-recorded by Canadian group the Jonas Brothers. Such is the fast pace of pop music that they've had to include two subtle lyric changes – a reference to outselling Michael Jackson becomes selling more than Kelly Clarkson; and the interlocutor's great-great-great-grand-daughter is no longer pretty fine, but is doing fine.

But we digress. The featured track is Hurra! Hurra! Die Schule Brennt, a single recorded by Busted for release in Germany in summer 2003. It's the group's biggest hit there, scraping three weeks at the very foot of the top 20.

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31August

Accounts climb by far more than the usual factor of 1.8%, but this isn't translating into growth of use. Growth is almost entirely powered by Eastern Europe and Singapore. It appears that barely one new person in six is disclosing their country. Figures labelled usertrans_upgrades_to_plus have been released, and we have an analysis that develops a certain upper bound for the number of customers plastering advertisements, and a somewhat lower best-estimate figure.

(More: commentary on Poxygate, telling bloggers to FOAD, what the Russian mafia thinks is acceptable for the interwebs, and a comedy sketch that's clearly sub-Python)

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2September

If it's the start of the month, time for some of the sillier searches to have reached us.

• bulgarians working in corby
• damian hill in cyprus Is that somewhere near Alice's mound?
• how long does it take to walk from baker st to euston station If we're doing it, and we're taking the fast route along the Euston-road rather than the picturesque route through Regent's Park, about 23 minutes, depending on how lucky we get with the traffic lights at Osnaburgh-st and Hampstead-road. Without loss of generality, we walk faster than you.
• lip smacking thirst quenching ace tasting cool motivating spicy!
• lyrics save your love rene and renato Save your love, my daaaahlink, I hate yoooou...
• pop idle - stupid mistake
• st andrews football team in london victoria Only if they're very lost. You'll be able to spot them by their red gowns.
• uk paper shredder trader 'Ullo, mate, want a dodgy shredder, know worrah mean, eh, eh?
• we all follow man united lyrics Ahem. We all follow Man United, we're all going to wem-ber-lee. And we'll really shake them up when we win the FA Cup, for United are a great football team.
• xavier naidoo danke translated Thank you.

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2September

Bushido have the highest new entry in Germany, Alles verloren is in at 4. A new number one in Sweden, Lars Winnerbäck and Miss Li duet on Om du lämnade mig nu, which we've not heard. Sean Kingston is taking off all over the continent, landing at 3 here, and Pras Michel duets with Dede on Turn you on at 8. We're always pleased to hear new Nightwish, even though they've got a new and not-as-pretty vocalist, Amaranth is in at 13. Guus Meeuwis comes straight into the top 5 in the Netherlands, performing Proosten. James Blunt in into the top 10. New number one in Estonia, Mika's Big girls; in Norway, for Timberyokel; and in Ireland, for Sean Kingston. Kotiteollisuus returns to the top in Finland, with their Kummitusjuna ep.

20 18 Christophe Willem - Double je
19 12 Mark Medlock - You can get it
18 17 Mika - Grace Kelly
17 16 Azad - Prison break anthem
16 13 Amy MacDonald - Mr. Rock 'n' roll
15 19 Nelly Furtado - In god's hands
14 15 Ich + Ich - Von sielbern stern
13 14 K T Tunstall - Hold on
12 11 Enrique Iglesias - Do you know?
11 NE Newton Faulkner - Dream catch me
10  8 David Guetta - Love is gone
 9  7 Mika - Big girl (you are beautiful)
 8 10 Plain White Ts - Hey there Delilah
 7  9 Marquess - Vayamos campeneros
 6  5 Åvril Lavignnesøn - When you're gone
 5  1 Rihanna - Umbrella
 4  4 Stacey Ferguson - Big girls don't cry
 3  6 Robyn - With every heartbeat
 2  3 Mika - Relax (take it easy)
 1  2 Timberyokel - The way oi are

2September

Thirteen into the top 75, seven in the 40. Elvis Presley falls from 13 to 59, the second fastest fall from that position on record, beaten only by Fairytale of New Amsterdam's 13-OUT last January. Pelvis also plunges 19-67, tying the record with Kiddyfiddler's Smooth criminal re-issue from April last year.

New Proclaimers, Life with you only makes 74, and we reckon they should have thrown something - anything - out about four months back. It's number 3 in the physical-only Scottish chart. Editors enter at 73 with An end has a start, and the Council Estate Slappers come in at 64 performing Sexy no no. Both records will climb. Dave Spoon enters at 57 with Bad girl (at night), and Young folks is a re-entry at 56 for Peter Björn and John. Ultrabeat can only make 52 with Sure feels good, Puff Daddy's Through the pain charts at 50, and singer-songwriter Jamie Scott is 41 with When will I see your face again? He's actually had a couple of top 40 hits before, but they were that good...

On his new hit, Armand van Helden uses a sample that Taylor Dane recorded in 1988, but is best known for featuring on a Degrees of Motion hit from 1992. Third single for the Twang, and Two lovers does rather sound like an amalgam of the other two. Moron 5 have a chart entry at 33 with Fall asleep call. Athlete's Hurricane moves back up from 48, following its physical release; number 31 looks like a poor peak. Reverend and the Makers return at 30 with He said he loved me, which sounds like mid-90s Girl Power princesses Shampoo set to an annoying beat. Three weeks at 28 for Foo Fighter's The pretender - the first to turn that trick since Tina Charles' I'll go where your music takes me in spring 1978, and a fact that is infinitely more interesting than the record.

We're always glad to hear of new Natalie Imbruglia; Glorious is the kick-off single from her fourth studio set, which is five new songs plus the previous nine hit singles. A remarkable fall on the airplay lists for Amy Whingebag, down from 1 to 18, the sort of plummet we've not seen since Bitch became exceedingly Incorrect ten years ago. New airplay leader is from KT Tunstall, up 18 to 21, the fastest climber within the 40.

Scouting for Girls have a big new entry, She's so lovely comes in at 19. They're a London-based bunch of lads making guitar-based pop. This week's out-of-copyright Elvis Presley re-issue is Hound dog at 14.

Highest new entry is James Blunt, in at 10 with 1973. Freaks move up from 21 to 9 with The creeps. Rihanna's Shut up and drive moves 16-5 as the physical single comes out, and Robyn drops a place to 4. The Plain White Ts advance 6-3, also following physical releases, and Kayne West drops to 2, displaced by Sean Kingston.

Newton Faulkner remains at the top of the album list, and all the publicity from her in-laws mean Amy Whingebag is back up a place to 2. Mika's up two to 3, and Rihanna re-enters the top 10. Super Furry Animals have the highest new entry, Hey Venus is in at 11. Good climbs for Kings of Leon (23-12), Editors (27-13), Maroon 5 (41-17), Enemy (38-18), and Twang (63-33). Other newies: a Ringo Starr singles collection is at 26, Joe Bonamassa's Sloe gin is 50, Atreyu's Lead Sails Paper Anchor makes 61, and Paul van Dyk's In Between is 63.

 3  3 Robyn - With every heartbeat
13  7 Hard-Fi - Suburban knights
15 11 Newton Faulkner - Dream catch me
19 NE Scouting for Girls - She's so lovely
21 39 KT Tunstall - Hold on
24 25 Mika - Big girl (you are beautiful)
27 20 Hoosiers - Worried about Ray
29 27 Åvril Lavignnesøn - When you're gone
30 NE Reverend and the Makers - He said he loved me
34 NE Twang - Two lovers
37 31 Amy MacDonald - Mr. rock 'n' roll
40 32 Mario - How do I breathe
42 40 My Chemical Romance - Teenagers
47 45 Moby - Extreme ways
48 41 Arctic Monkeys - Flourescent adolescent
51 72 Reverend and the Makers
  - Heavyweight champion of the world
60 re Gossip - Standing in the way of control
69 62 Mika - Grace Kelly
73 NE Editors - An end has a start
74 NE Proclaimers - Life with you

.. 46 Ben's Brother - Let me out
.. 60 Newton Faulkner - Teardrop
.. 71 Åvril Lavignnesøn - Girlfriend
.. 73 Jack Penate - Once and never happy hour again

2September

This week, we've been watching and hearing...

• When Pirates Ruled the Waves (BBC local radio) recalled the sixties pirate radio stations, from the start of Caroline over Easter 1964 to her eventual bankruptcy four years later. Sadly, there was no mention of the brief return of pirates in 1970, attempting to influence the election by getting young people to vote for commercial radio (and hence vote Conservative). Nor of the eighties revival: Caroline (1983-89), Laser (1984-85), and Irish station Nova (1983-86), begat Atlantic 252, which begat the end of the UK's needle-time restrictions. More: The story of Laser 558, a remarkable eighteen months - 5 million listeners, second best DJ in the Smash Hits poll, a boat from the DTI keeping watch, a support record featuring Paul Young, but no advertisers, a lack of funding, and perpetual transmitter problems forced the station off air.
• Test The Nation The National How Good Are You At Taking IQ Tests Test (Talent TV / BBC-1) is a popular, but stunningly pointless exercise. The atmosphere is right to treat it as an end-of-the-pier entertainment, twelve parts joshing to one part actual science.
• World Athletics Championships (Eurosport / BBC tv / Radio 5) A stadium-full of points:
  1. The BBC commentary remains jingoistic to the point of sycophancy.
  2. Eurosport's commitment to tennis means they don't repeat the evening session in the evening.
  3. The BBC's commitment stretches to a highlights programme at 7, and red-button repeats of the evening session.
  4. The BBC's commitment does not stretch to a radio commentary crew.
  5. Well, it does, but they're stuck away on Sports Extra, fighting for space against cricket.
  6. The shot direction was singularly atrocious - we cannot see people running when they're matchstalk-high on screen.
  7. We'd like to have enjoyed the show, but broadcaster limitations meant we only saw the five week-end days.
  8. Er, that's it.
• Affirmation, Beverley Knight's album from 2004, from which the hit single was Come as you are. The rest of the album is powerful soul music, with just about every track standing up well.

2September

The fires continued in Greece, killing at least 63 people, and threatening mythological sites including Olympia. The government offered €1 million in rewards for the people who started the fires. I'd rather stay with my house and try to fight the fire with a hosepipe

A former Conservative party leader has been charged with fraud. Ed Byrne, leader of the party in Newfoundland, faces charges in the sum of $5000 (€3500), and breach of trust. Mr. Byrne left the Commons last year.

The European Commission intervened in the construction of a motorway through the Hill of Tara, insisting that all work halt until the government carries out a comprehensive assessment of the road's impact.

The International Atomic Energy Authority reached agreement with Iran over the latter's use of nuclear energy. Iran agreed to operate under the IAEA's supervision; the IAEA confirmed that there was no diversion of materials from the declared sites. Both parties deem the matter settled, and the European Union has agreed with this assessment.

The inaugral Eurovision Dance Contest was won by Jussi Väänänen and Katja Koukkula, representing Finland.

The All-Ireland hurling final was won by Kilkenney, who beat Limerick by 2-19 to 1-15. Kilkenney opened up a nine-point lead after ten minutes; though Limerick scored a goal midway through the second half, the game was never in doubt.

2September

A settled week, though with winds coming from the north, never a particularly warm one.

27 Mo cloud              9/17
28 Tu mostly cloud      11/17
29 We sunny spells       9/17
30 Th sun, breeze       13/17
31 Fr cloud             14/18
01 Sa cloud             14/19
02 Su sunny spells      13/20

Rainfall in August: 57mm; monthly average: 69mm

Rainfall in September: 0mm; monthly average: 61mm

Degree cooling days: 79
2006: 312/360
2005: 207/238
2004: 172/198
2003: 286/328