25June

Former cabinet minister Jonathan Aitken ceased his libel action against Granada TV and the Grauniad; his opponents presented a dossier (principally, plane tickets from London to Geneva, making it impossible for Mrs. Aitken to have been in Paris) to police indicating that he had perjured himself, and encouraged his wife and teenage daughter to lie on his behalf. Costs of £1.8 million were awarded against him, and he would eventually serve some weeks in prison.

(More: Domes on the rise, Paula Cole, and the Verve - 1350 words)

Another dead famous Liverpool band was Echo and the Bunnymen. They'd enjoyed a string of critical acclaim and moderately-successful hits through the early 1980s, peaking with 1984's Ocean Rain album. The group never quite translated their critical acclaim into A-grade superstar status, but that was never really the way of the group's guiding light and lead singer Ian McCulloch. The Echos split in 1988, allowing each of their band members to go their own way - McCulloch made solo albums, and had a minor hit in 1992 with Lover lover lover. McCulloch began working with two other Bunnymen in 1994, and the group was joined by the last member for 1997's Evergreen album. The lead single Nothing lasts forever became only their third top ten hit as it entered at 8. Since their career resurrection, the Bunnymen have continued to make critically-acclaimed but small-selling records, and released an updated singles collection in 2006. The version here is from Ian McCulloch's solo session for Xfm last year, when the station was good. It's also in WMA format.

All of this left Puff Daddy and Faith Evans to take the top spot with I'll be missing you. This one was based on a loop of the Police's Every breath you take, and turned out to sell far more than the original. The song was a tribute to Shaun Wallace, a rapper who had been murdered the previous March. Though depressing, it had some scintilla of optimism, making it far less rubbish than the band at number 2.

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25June

A pupil took her former school to court. She had worn a ring symbolising her irrational belief that she should abstain from sex until she had gone through a particular religious ceremony. The school said that such a symbol broke its policy on dress. The pupil argued that there was an exemption for essential aspects of other religions, and she was being adversely treated because of her faith. We disagree with what the pupil says, but we defend her right to say it. If the school wishes to allow expression to some religions, then it must allow expression to all religions. But then we note the fact that her parents are the organisers of that particular religious group, and wonder where to draw the line between a religion, a cult, and a family of cranks.

A publication in the rebel provinces has listed 100 Most Powerful Celebrities. It is worth noting that all 100 are famed in the rebel provinces; no-one whose fame is outside that area qualifies. There's no position for Britain's most popular entertainer Antan Dec, nor for top Belgian export Olivier Minne. Nor even for the biggest stars in Germany, Tokio Hotel. Indeed, only a very few people on the list speak a language other than English or Moronican.

Do we have to explain our characterisation of Mr. Brown as the Soup Dragon and Mrs. Harman as Froglet? We do? Very well, here's a short clip of Vote for Froglet, and a revelation of the denoument. (SPOILER! Oh.)

We're surprised to learn that Aertel is twenty years old. RTÉ's teletext service was launched as late as June 1987, fully twelve years after CEEFAX and ORACLE in the UK. Unlike the rivals across the sea, Aertel is on the internet as a series of GIF files and image maps.

Now, we're the first to stand up and cheer good radio when we hear it. And we're the first to criticise bad radio when we hear it. And we generally can't stand to listen to the same station for more than about four hours without feeling the need to change to something different, variety being the spice of life and all that. Which all brings us to Creamguide's day spent listening to Radio 2. Read from the bottom up, but here's a conclusion for starters: Steve Wright's entire show is a travesty.

Mainstream count for last week:
1xtra - 8.58%
Radio 2 - 9.98%
Radio 1 - 22.22%
6Music - 32.27%
Virgin 1215 - 42.39%

Crooked Timber looks into the myth of the myth of the paperless office. Apparently, paper consumption in the Provinces peaked in 1999, and has been falling by 0.9% per annum since. The growth from 1985-99 was 5.7% per annum, and commentators suggest that the increased availability of laser printers exacerbated the growth.

A survival guide for people with Asperger syndrome, and a Metafilter conversation on the topic.

How proficient is proficient, and a discussion of how classical Arabic is different from vernacular Arabic.

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26June

Choccers, one of our regular readers, spent the week-end watching videos from the 1990s.

The reverse video to Return to Innocence by Enigma is still cool

Pop Fact! The group's insistence on putting out the same song every time wore thin, but that is one cool video.

LEN's Steal My Sunshine was clearly one of the best songs of the whole decade.

Pop Fact! The second single, Kryptic Souls Krew was also damned good. The rest of the album, more than a bit rubbish.

Right Said Fred had another hit?!

Pop Fact! They had seven of the buggers. The famous one, the one with Jocelyn Brown, the number one one, the sweet ballad that stalled at number 29 when it was far better than all the rave gubbins around that summer, the one that did a lot of work for charidee, the comeback that flopped a bit, the comebacks that flopped so much they don't count as hits, and the one for the new millennium that another of our regular readers bought on our say-so and we're still a little embarrassed about. But the list of hits does not include Stand up (for the champions), an oversight that just shows how the Germans get all the best tunes. But that'll be something to come back to in a day or two.

I'd forgotten how fabulously camp was Erasure's video for Always - and that ascending "bong - pong - pong - pong - pong - ping - widdliddliddliddliddliddle" at the start of the chorus is pure musical genius...

Pop Worried!

Meredith Brooks?

Pop Ahead A Month!

A visceral hatred for Dawn Penn's ghastly lugubrious You Don't Love Me (No No No)...

Pop Fact! A record that we recall was heavily played on Emma Freud's show, when she did the lunchtime show on Radio 1.

Improbable Radio Fact! Emma Freud did the lunchtime show on Radio 1.

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27June

Two pieces of history. First, the last time that a minister resigned from the cabinet and the Commons in one fell swoop. We go back to 1936, when Jimmy Thomas, the Secretary of State for the Colonies, left his post. Mr. Thomas had been part of the Labour governments of the 1920s, but had sided with the National government in 1931 when Labour fell apart over its economic policy. Mr. Thomas was in favour of limiting government spending during the great depression, most of Labour preferred to spend their way out of oblivion. In the following years, Mr. Thomas had become of decreasing importance, and had taken to drinking and gambling. He also speculated in the financial markets, and it was found that he had given information about tax increases to two friends before the 1936 budget. Mr. Thomas resigned from the government in May of that year, and left the Commons a few weeks later. He spent the war in business, and died in January 1949.

On a tip from regular correspondent Jiggers, a look at the last time there was a change of prime minister in mid-session. Here's an edited diary covering the last three months of 1990.

7 October 1990, Gallup / Sunday Telegraph, in a poll taken before the UK joined the ERM. Lab 46 C 31.5 SLD 14 G 4 Oth 4.5

An ICM telephone poll for that day's Sunday Correspondent, conducted after the UK joined, gave Labour a 20-point lead.

(More: The complete history of those three months, mostly told in opinion polls. 830 words)

As we know, that election never took place. The Conservatives retained a small lead through the conflict in Iraq; by April 1991, opinion polls gave Labour a small and just about significant lead. Apart from a brief Conservative lead in the summer of 1991, Labour remained just about ahead until polling day on 9 April 1992. The rest is well-documented.

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27June

The middle classes have been duped by the super-rich. Madeleine Bunting shouldn't be so surprised, it's not as though it's a new phenomenon. What is new is the way that a nominally socialist group has gone out of its way to encourage this divisive behaviour.

Big Brother is no longer ethical.

Fearne Cotton deserves better than Love Island. And, whaddaya know, she's getting it.

Soup is the answer to almost anything. - Caitlin Moran, by far the most witty scribbler to have come out of Wolverhampton in recent years.

Birmingham's beach has opened for business, and the weather is the typical British summer.

In praise of high culture, and a reminiscence of the days when popular culture was high culture.

Thomas Mapother has been refused permission to ponce about at military bases in Germany. Mr. Mapother, a closeted holoprosencephite, has been refused entry because of his position in the scientologist pyramid scheme.

The Ministry of Truth dissects the Labour deputy leadership results. It appears that we'll never know the number of non-effective-non-transferrable votes at any given stage.

Utterly tedious Britpop murderers The Verve are getting back together to give more royalties to the Rolling Stones. Pop Ohbollocks!

The RISKS digest reports:

My fiancée and I decided that showing our engagement in Facebook gave out a little too much personal information. But I did not realize that unchecking the box marked "Thomas is engaged to Tran" would send a message to everyone connected to us in Facebook that "Thomas and Tran are no longer engaged".

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28June

As trailed earlier in the week, the first in a short series of songs under the broad title The Germans Get All The Best Tunes.

We begin with Right Said Fred. No, stop laughing at the back, we really do. The trio–Richard and Fred Fairbrass, and Mike Manzoli–first came to prominence in 1991 with their summer hit I'm too sexy. Unlike most groups that rise from nowhere to have a summer hit, they followed it up with a winter hit–Don't talk just kiss with Jocelyn Brown–and a spring hit–Deeply dippy, their only UK number one. After that, though, the dumper beckoned. Those simple things could only crawl to number 29 in summer 1992, and though the group did the 1993 Comic Relief song Spit it out, their next single proper only just made the top 40. If Bumped deserved better, Hands up for lovers didn't even trouble Radio 1's chart show.

And that, we thought, would be that. The group never took up an open invitation to compete in the Eurovision Song Contest, and vanished off the scene entirely. For values of "vanished" that included "becoming very successful in Germany" and values of "entirely" that included a comeback in 2001 with the rather good Fredhead album, including lead single You're my mate, which became the group's fifth top 20 hit in the UK.

The following year gave the group their biggest German hit in ten years, as Stand up (for the champions) rose to number 2, kept off the top only by the behemoth that was No Angels. There was never a UK release for this song, so it will be unfamiliar to most of our readers. Football fans took it to their hearts, and the song was re-released for last year's world cup, returning to the top 30.

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28June

In the Soup Dragon's Kitchen Cabinet

Prime Minister and Minister for the Civil Service – Soup Dragon
Finance – Alistair Darling
Foreign – David Miliband
Justice – John Straw
Lord Privy Seal – Froglet
Funk – Jacqui Smith
Health – Alan Johnson
Children, Schools, Families [1] – Ed Balls
War, Scotland – Des Browne
Innovation, Universities, Skills [2] – Hilary Benn
Employment and Wales – Peter Hain
Business, Enterprise, Regulatory Reform [3] – John Hutton
Northern Ireland, Wales – Turncoat Woodward
International Development – Douglas Alexander
Transport – R. Kelly
Local government – An Insubstantial Careerist
Culture – James Purnell
Chief whip – Geoff Hoon
Ducky of Lancaster – Ed Miliband
Treasury 2 – Andy Burnham
Lords – Jay Ashton

[1] Formerly Education
[2] New department, replacing the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister
[3] Formerly Productivity, formerly Trade and Industry

The Foreign office now includes the European office.

The headline surprise is the arrival of Jacqui Smith at the new Ministry of Funk. She can't be worse than John Reid ... can she? Mr. Benn might well have expected something better than Higher Education. We note that Boris Johnson is now shadowing a cabinet minister, which might be the first occasion that the prime minister has given a promotion to an opposition politician. No cabinet place for Jon Cruddas, the single most popular candidate in the recent leadership election. R. Kelly and an Insubstantial Careerist continue to clog up the table, but we note the return of John Hutton, a man whose looked set to enter cabinet around 2003, but resigned over the illegal Iraq war. Andy Burnham was the minister responsible for introducing the identity register. No place for Miss Eagle, nor for the widely-tipped but completely ineffectual Mrs. Baird.

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29June

Recently, McGazz proposed the name Itsjustanism to describe insistence on the separation of culture and politics; militant aesthetic complacency; middle-brow common-sense; anti-intellectualism; compulsory frivolity, esp. prevalent amongst Anglo-Media types. How else can we explain the obsession on very minor celebrities at the expense of actual policy – Emily Big Brother not Emily's List, the thoughts of Paris Hilton not those of Paris Gellar.

Which leads us into the book we've been reading on and off for the past few months: How Mumbo-Jumbo Conquered the World, a 2004 work from Francis Wheen. The book is a collection of essays on the counter-Reformation. Wheen attributes the start of this process to the establishment of an islamist republic in Iran, and the seduction of psycopathic free-markets in the west. After expounding his thesis in the opening chapter, Wheen moves on to take the mick out of apocalypticals through the ages, those who believe that astrologists or creationists have any credibility, and the deconstructionist philosophy that nothing can be proven or disproven, and hence [sic] everything is valid. An updated version would surely include a decent skewering of the nonsense that is Wikipedia, the ultimate triumph of Itsonlyanism.

Wheen doesn't concentrate his fire on easy targets, saving the most pointed observation – that the economic reforms of recent years have slowed growth – to a throwaway remark at the end of the penultimate chapter. He doesn't put the other point, that slow and steady growth may be preferable to a stop-start economy. Indeed, there's very little to balance Wheen's perception of the situation, very little to suggest that he has weighed up competing opinions.

Nor does Wheen offer any solution to the problem he has identified. Would better education, at schools or through the mass media, have any effect? His book is an argument by anecdote, and works best as a collection of essays on the theme of Aren't people stupid nowadays. It's not a comedy book, and Wheen's content is dense, particularly in the chapter on post-modernist thought. The tone is light enough to make this a readable book.

It's a decent book, and we don't regret reading it. However, we cannot recommend it with tremendous enthusiasm, and it's probably not worth the £8 paperback price. If you see it remaindered for a few quid, it's worth it.

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29June

Tim Harford sends a torpedo through the English ban on smoking. The economic arguments are nonsense, he argues, and the bar will create a negative externality – people polluting the pavement with their smoke – where none existed before. Earlier this year, we had the misfortune to be in an area of the UK with such a bar on smoking inside, and found the footpaths to be often blocked by people on a break, and far more environmental smoke than we would expect.

A Macrohard employee discusses working life at G****e. Comments are particularly poor.

More cucumber than pineapple.

The BBC rather botched its coverage of Mister Blair's final minutes in the Commons; Prime Minister's Questions on BBC-2 was allowed to run over by a few minutes, resulting in the final answer and an unprecedented standing ovation being cut from the television broadcast. The failure was one of nerve: any sensible station would have had The Daily Politics move from BBC-2 to BBC-1 for the occasion, allowing Andrew Neil to a) show the full session and b) summarise properly before handing over to whichever Newsroom clotheshorse was fronting the coverage. Instead, a wholly unnecessary channel change was built in, and everything else stems from that failure of imagination.

EU representatives have reached an agreement on the retention of personal data by rebel provinces in North America. Information, including biometric measurements, will be retained by the illegal regime for fifteen years. It is not clear what sanctions the EU proposes should data not be deleted.

Sadistic and pompous - why the Daily Hell can't stand Kate Moss.

From the department of keeping it quiet, new Gretchen Peters album.

There are those who will call a gentleman two years younger than his companion a toy boy. Such people are either engaging in light-hearted banter, or are being insulting.

Jason Deans doesn't see any point in Facebook. In comments, one defender says, Facebook's true moment of genius is being able to see what all your acquaintances are thinking, doing feeling, up to etc, on one big page. All at once. We would chalk that up as a rather large weakness, not a strength. Another commentator says, Similar protests ("we don't need it!") were made about mobile phones fifteen years ago. The net utility of Handys has still not been proven to our satisfaction.

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30June

We have a by-election in Ealing Southall, following the death of Piara Khabra. Mr. Khabra entered the Commons in 1992. At the 1997 election, he secured 60% of the vote, with the Conservative on 21%. In 2001, an Independent Asian candidate came second; almost all of his 12.3% vote came from Mr. Khabra. This candidate has been selected as the Conservative candidate in the by-election. The Liberal Democrats moved up into second place in 2005, picking up all of the Independent Asian candidate's vote.

Ealing Southall is a safe Labour seat, even at its nadir in 1987 the party had a 15% majority, and has never fallen below 45% of the vote. The Conservatives will be looking to increase their vote and overtake the Liberal Democrats, but they've never polled above 25% in this constituency. The Lib Dems will be looking to pull off another London by-election surprise, following their remarkable success in Brent South a few years ago. The Green Party has twice been within a few hundred votes of saving its deposit, but the possible intervention of RESPECT may be disadvantageous.

Our prediction is for Labour to hold the seat, but the Lib Dems will slash their majority. Betting: Labour 5/6, Lib Dems 6/4, Conservatives 3/1, RESPECT 10/1, 100/1 any other.

And we have a by-election in Sedgefield, following the appointment of Anthony Blair as Steward of the Chiltern Hundreds. Mr. Blair entered the Commons in 1983. He's secured at least 60% of the vote at the last three elections, and also faced a strong challenge from an independent candidate at the 2005 vote. Even at the 1983 nadir, the new candidate secured 47% of the vote. It's not clear if the Lib Dems or Conservatives should be considered favourite for second place; the Conservatives were about a thousand clear last time.

Our prediction is for Labour to hold the seat reasonably comfortably; interest will centre on who finishes second. Betting: Labour 1/3, Conservatives 3/1, Lib Dems 4/1, 50/1 any other.

Quentin Davies C, Grantham and Stamford has defected. He should now be captioned as CLab, Grantham and Stamford.

We decline to attach much importance to the opinion poll released to-day showing a Labour lead. Come back at the end of July and see if it still holds.

Turning to the local council by-election swingometer, and we have some interesting trends. The direct transfer from Labour to the Conservatives in the three months to 21 June was slightly less than 8%; when we last looked at the figures just before Easter, it was slightly more than 8%. No significant change. The transfer of just over 1% of Conservative voted to the Lib Dems has reversed, and it's now a net movement of almost 4% from the LDs to the Cons. The LDs are also gaining fewer votes from Labour – down from 9.5% to 4%.

The net result of this is no particular change for the Conservatives – the central prediction shows them still bobbling along at about 325 seats, just what they need to secure an overall majority, but perhaps not a working one. Labour has clearly moved up from our last projection, the central projection puts them around 220 seats. Labour's net gains come from the Lib Dems, who drop from 90 or so to a central projection of around 67. The transfer of seats from present is still mostly Labour to Conservative; the Lib Dems lose seats to the Tories, but win back roughly as many from Labour.

This is, of course, only a rough-and-ready projection, and we intend for it to be used as a measure of which way the psephological wind is blowing. We do not advise anyone to stake money or honour based purely on its results. It's just a bit of fun.

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30June

The headlines

size	accounts	13254117	213128	1.63%
size	accounts_active_1	527792	24944	4.96%
size	accounts_active_30	1781346	5941	0.33%
size	accounts_active_7	1104893	3013	0.27%
userinfo	total	13238056	211297	1.62%
userinfo	updated	8316484	91691	1.11%
userinfo	updated_last1	203672	18179	9.80%
userinfo	updated_last30	1012745	-6814	-0.67%
userinfo	updated_last7	585239	3486	0.60%

Accounts climbs by 1.6%, Userinfo:updated by 1.1%. Active:30 makes a small climb, but is still lower than April.

(Full figures, and an extended commentary)

Six Apart sold permanent accounts for a week. As was the case in the 2005 sale, the nominal price was USD 150 (€111.71). Adjusted for eurozone inflation and allowing for currency fluctuations, this was a reduction of almost €20.

Early purchasers were invited to select amongst four nominated causes to receive a USD 25 (€18.50) donation. The causes were the EFF, a group of activists working almost exclusively in the rebel provinces; RAINN, a group of sex-abuse activists working exclusively in the rebel provinces; Creative Commons, a group promoting their particular viewpoint on copyright reform from the viewpoint of the rebel provinces; and Witness, a group promoting human rights around the world from a base in the rebel provinces.

Why did Six Apart choose Witness and not the longer-established and more-recognised Amnesty International? It's very simple: All donations to Witness are tax-deductible to the full extent of the law. Witness supporters are acknowledged in our annual report. (source) The power of good publicity and a tax break. As Amnesty falls under the UK's laws, its political aims mean it is not regarded as a charity, donations cannot be offset against tax, and the organisation chooses not to give publicity to donors.

Abraham Hassan (who enjoys the support of Six Apart even after he told a customer to go away) put the corporate spin on things. Some sections jump out at us. There were several miscommunications internally regarding the changes we wanted to make in enforcement, and what we enforced prohibited listing any illegal activity as an interest. The Abuse mob managed to get the wrong end of the stick again, almost certainly because they are neither professional in standing nor professional in operation.

Mittelfeld's comment speaks volumes: Go to 20 different countries around the world and ask them what they think a hate crime is, and you'll probably get at least 15 different answers -- each with different degrees of how much planning, encouragement and/or action is actually required before it officially becomes a criminal activity.

We earlier noted the Privacy International report into privacy matters. PI ranks Livejournal as generally privacy aware, the second-highest of six categories, level with the BBC, Wikipedia, and Last FM (prior to its takeover by CBS). We query whether all four of these services are on a par.

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1July

Christophe Willem returns to the top in France. There are top ten entries for Amel Bent's Nouveau français, David Guetta's Love is gone, Bob Sinclar's Sound of freedom, political exile Yannick Noah's Destination aillerus; just outside the ten comes Danser sue la lune from Marilou who was on Fort Boyard recently. Boyband Us 5 come in at number 4 in Germany with Rhythm of life; Ich + Ich have a top ten hit with Vom selben stern. Ola leads the way in Sweden, performing Natalie. Erasure go top ten in Denmark with the rather good Sunday girl. Defending World Idle Kurt Nilsen is top five in Norway with Push push, but can't push push past the pisspoor Rihanna, who is also the most-played record on Latvian radio. We're not entirely sure who Lucia Evans is, but her song The other man is into the Irish top 20. We know who Journey are (or were), but have no idea why their song Don't stop believing should also be in the Irish top 20. Has Rick O'Shea been tipping it on his 2FM show or something?

20 NE Reverend and the Makers
  - Heavyweight champion of the world
19 NE Gregory Lemarchal - De temps en temps
18 NE Marquess - Vayamos campeneros
17 10 Travis - Closer
16 16 Michael Bublé - Everything
15 14 Timberland et al - Give it to me
14 15 Mark Medlock - Now or never
13 11 Maroon 5 - Makes me wonder
12 18 Fray - How to save a life
11 13 Ville Valo and Natalia Avelon - Summer wine
10  8 Mutya Buena - Real girl
 9  9 Mika - Love today
 8 12 Enrique Iglesias - Do you know?
 7  6 Mika - Grace Kelly
 6  7 Mika - Relax (take it easy)
 5  5 Åvril Lavignnesøn - Girlfriend
 4  4 Beyonce / Shakira - Beautiful liar
 3  1 Nelly Furtado - Say it right
 2  2 Linkin Park - What I've done
 1  3 Rihanna - Umbrella

1July

Outside the top 40 come entries for Alibi (72), Irritant (70), View (69), the Killers (53), Stephanie McIntosh (47), Cascada (46), and Crowded House (41). Two re-entries for the Killers, and for the Rogue Traders' Voodoo child at 48, apparently it's been used in some CBBC programme. Bobby Valentino climbs to 65, Nataaaasha Bedingplant to 49.

In at 40 is Oh my god, the Kaiser Chiefs's hit from a couple of years ago, sung by Lily Allen, and then twiddled-about-with by Mark Ronson. Lily's been singing this song for some months, and we're crediting it as her hit. It's out on physicals on 16 July. The Fray double up at 38 and 39, the fifth back-to-back event of the year so far, and the third in as many weeks. Adam Faith in September 1960, Herman's Hermits in November 1964, Roy Orbison in November 1966, the Mamas and Papas in July 1967 all managed this feat in the Record Retailer chart – the NME chart at this time was only a top 30. Chuck Berry in early 1973, and this was the lower half of the Jam's domination of positions 36 to 39 in January 1983. It's the second time these two Fray tracks have been back-to-back, a feat not achieved since Meat Loaf's domination in late 1993. 24th week for ...Life, if anyone's still counting, and hasn't fallen asleep.

No idea about Hadouken (36), even though they played it on the steam wireless; not much to say about the Wombats' Kill the director, in at 35. Bon Jovi's (You want to) make a memory enters at 33, it's one of their more ill-advised slow songs. A couple of records that have been bubbling under now become bona fide chart hits - the Arctic Monkey's Flourescent adolescent is Monkey-by-numbers (physical 9 Jul), and the most interesting thing about Scouting for Girls's It's not about you is where they got the whoo-whoo chorus from. Been nagging us for weeks, that has.

My Chemical Romance and Stacey Ferguson both climb. Which of those acts has been described as giving you the clap through the television remote? Cherry Ghost in at 27, they've been played a lot. Paul Fab Macca Whacky Thumbs Aloft!!! McCartney is up eight to 26, not that that's enough to get played on Radio Onelistener. Gwen Stiffeny is up to 22, but her song has had a physical release, so that looks like that. Phew.

It might look as though Justin Numberwang has broken the top twenty, but be very ware! It's not Mr. Spears at all, but man-of-a-thousand-voices Jon Culshaw in one of his many ill-fitting disguises. You're rumbled, sir! Timberland is bored of music, and it shows with the utterly pointless The way I are (sic) entering at 18. Scrappy Spice is into the top 20 at 17, one week ahead of physicals. The Klaxons's cover of Not over yet climbs to number 13, still shy of the original's top ten place. Robin Thicke is up from 43 to 11 with his limp soul noodlings.

Rev and the Makers go back into the top ten – they've now floated between 8 and 12 for five weeks. Jack Penate may be top chums with Lily Allen, but that doesn't stop him from being a rotten plagarist, swiping bits from the Long Blondes and the Housemartins. Hoosiers's Worried about Ray climbs ten to 6. Lee Mead drops from 2 to 5, and the Enemy storm up from 51 to 4 with Had enough. Enrigle Iggleslease is still clogging up number 3, and faux-Cockney Katherine Nash pulls in at number 2. She may be a friend of that Allan woman, but there's no mistaking her upper-class Muswell Hill upbringing. Oh, and the record is the most irritating piece of uselessness it's ever been our misfortune to hear. Still better than Rihanna, but purely because Katherine is British.

On the albums list, the Editors are in at 1 with An End Has a Start. Kelly Clarkson enters at 2 with My December, and Shirley Bassey's Get the Party Started is in at 6 – the album consists of an OAP covering modern songs. The Killers storm up from 36 to 9, and the Klaxons from 32 to 19. New entries for Ryan Adams (18), Gagagagareth Gates (23) and Paramore (24) will disappoint their various sets of fans. Editors are up from 64 to 30, Arcade Fire from 73 to 39, and Lily Allen from 68 to 46. More new entries: Kelly Rowland (37) and Andrea Corr (38). Slump of the week is for Genesis's hits album, down 10-32.

 4 51 Enemy - Had enough
 7 25 Jack Penate - Once and never happy hour again
10 11 Reverend and the Makers
  - Heavyweight champion of the world
15  7 Editors - Smokers outside the hospital doors
17 23 Åvril Lavignnesøn - When you're gone
20 10 Kelly Clarkson - Never again
21 13 Mutya Buena - Real girl
25  6 White Stripes - Icky thump
27 53 Cherry Ghost - People help the people
29 35 My Chemical Romance - Teenagers
31 44 Scouting for Girls - It's not about you
32 55 Arctic Monkeys - Flourescent adolescent
37 24 Holloways - Generator
38 27 Fray - Over my head
39 28 Fray - How to save a life
41 NE Crowded House - Don't stop now
42 38 Calvin Harris - Acceptable in the eighties
44 29 Twang - Either way
51 41 Åvril Lavignnesøn - Girlfriend
53 NE Killers - For reasons unknown
55 47 Mika - Love to-day
56 57 Mika - Grace Kelly
61 re Fratellis - Chelsea dagger
63 re Killers - Read my mind
64 31 Paramore - Misery business
67 68 Manic Street Preachers
  - Your love alone is not enough
69 NE View - Face for the radio
71 63 Mark Ronson - Stop me
73 re Killers - Mr Brightside

.. 18 Muse - Map of the problematique
.. 30 Air Traffic - Shooting star
.. 32 Ash - Polaris
.. 49 Melanie C - Carolyna
.. 54 Maximo Park - Books from boxes
.. 66 Pigeon Detectives - I'm not sorry
.. 74 Just Jack - Writer's block
.. 75 Enter Shikari - Jonny sniper

1July

This week, we've been watching and hearing...

• Question Muck (BBC-1) Our perfect panel would be Boris Johnson, Shirley Williams, Tony Benn, Alex Salmond, and Liz Wrigley-Field. To have the first two in one room is pretty darned good, and any given minute was more entertaining than the bore-fest the previous week.
• Coast (BBC-2) explored the South Wales coast. One of the more tedious episodes, sadly.
• How to be an ex-Prime Minister (The Fourth Programme) Michael Cockerell and Mr. Major explain: get a chat show, do some quiet work in business, keep yourself occupied, and if you can't say something good, don't say anything at all.
• News Knight with Trevor MacDonald (LWT) Not bad, particularly for ITV comedy. Could use a little less interweb video (it's never broadcast quality), and Mr. MacDonald needs to brush up on his comic timing, but a grand start.
• The Rise and Fall of Tony Blair (Brooke Lapping for C4) Andrew Rawnsley delivers a warts-and-all profile of the prochain ancien British prime minister. Rather let down by poor captioning (Estelle Morris a cabinet minister 2001-5???) and probably not worth the whole three hours, but more worth it than not.
• Panorama (BBC-1) John Ware gives a handy primer into the many lies that have come from the oh-so-clean Gordon Brown's mouth over the years.
• Feedback (Radio 4) Complaints about the lack of women's tennis, a discussion on bias and the BNP, an audio blog on life online, and do all Archers listeners live in the city?
• Wimbledon (Radio 5) Featuring ball-by-ball coverage of the Blair-Brown match, of the rain in Yorkshire, of the bombs in London and Glasgow, and of the reformation of the Spice Girls. Oh, and there was some tennis, very little of it involving the Brits.

1July

David Wall has lost his long-running battle to be credited as the inventor of Trivial Pursuit. Mr. Wall says that he explained the idea behind the game to Christopher Haney in 1979, three years before Mr. Haney began to sell the game. Mr. Wall entered his claim in 1994, and only now has been found incorrect.

Last week, the Australian prime minister John Howaerd declared an emergency amongst indigenous Australians. On the pretext of a crusade against child abuse, Mr. Howaerd took steps to ban alcohol and pornography, to limit how the government funds might be used, and force children to submit to medical checks. Indigenous Australians are outraged, and propose barring visitor access to Uluru. Opposition leaders say that the government has exaggerated the problem so that it might look good for elections scheduled for this spring.

Wales has a coalition government; Plaid Cymru will support Labour on motions of confidence and supply.

The European Commission has blocked O'Ryanair's planned takeover of Aer Lingus, as it would distort competition in the sector.

British prime minister Tony Blair resigned his office, and has accepted a role negotiating peace in the middle east. His successor as British prime minister is Gordon Brown, the new leader of the Labour party, and former finance minister.

Heavy rain caused severe flooding in parts of the UK. The Rother and Don valleys in South Yorkshire were particularly badly affected, as was the Severn valley in the west.

The man convicted of the Lockerbie bombing has been given leave to make a second appeal against his conviction. Evidence has come to light since Mr. Megrahi's conviction in 2001 that contradicts the statements at his trial.

Two car bombs were found in London, on the route of the Gay Pride parade. Both vehicles contained some shrapnel; explosives experts contend that most of the damage would have been from the original blast. Politicians sought to blame faux-islamic groups. Neither device exploded.

A blazing jeep was presented for check-in at Glasgow airport, causing smoke damage to the passenger terminal. The combination of these events from the script of new production Carry On Up Your Qaeda caused new Minister of Funk, Mrs. Smith to run around like a headless chicken. She set a new record for Panicking In Post, having been appointed less than 60 hours before.

1July

A deep low settled over central England on Monday; to its north, a warm occlusion met a draught of cold air. The net result was tremendous rainfall - up to 100mm in one day - in the Don and Rother valleys, causing much flooding and weakening dams. After that cleared, the cold air moved southwards, leading to a remarkably chilly week for late June. Warmer but wetter weather spread up from the south-west from Friday, with Saturday another wash-out.

25 Mo rain, sun spells  12/18,14.0
26 Tu rain o/n, sun      8/15, 8.0
27 We sun, shower       11/17, 1.0
28 Th sunny spells       6/18
29 Fr rain o/n, sun     12/18,11.5
30 Sa rain              12/18, 9.5
01 Su sun and showers   12/19, 7.5

Rainfall in June: 164.5mm; monthly average: 50mm

Rainfall in July: 7.5mm; monthly average: 69mm

Degree cooling days: 32
2006: 96/360
2005: 76/238
2004: 55/198
2003: 75/328