18June

Channel 4's Wanted had its most famous exchange, when tracker Paul Denchfield bet his left eyebrow that he would find his runners in a pub car park. There was no telephone box there, and the false lead allowed the runners to escape by seconds. Other television highlights this week included the first episode of Driving School, the start of the second series of Airport, and the first in the final series of Mastermind, featuring a round on Formula One Since 1970.

(More from this week in 1997 - 1200 words)

Savage Garden come in at 11 performing I want you. The duo - Darren Hayes and Daniel Jones - had already put this song to number 2 in their native Australia, and would go on to success across the planet. The group's biggest hits were two soppy ballads - 1998's Truly madly deeply and 2000's suspiciously similar I knew I loved you - but we remember them best for their pacy songs. 2000's Affirmation was a laundry list song, detailing everything that Mr. Hayes believed was wrong with the world. 1999's Animal Song contained one of the more common mis-hearings, I want to live like cannonballs, but we reckon I want you was their career peak. Just to confuse, the song was re-issued in late 1998, after the success of Truly... and To the moon and back, peaking at number 12 and being the subject of a pisspoor Chris Moyles cover. The group split in 2001, and Darren Hayes has since had very moderate success as a solo performer.

The top five would all become sing-a-long favourites, though - Rosie Gaines' Closer than close moves back up one to 5 in its fourth week, Ultra Nate's Free climbs one to 4 in its second week. Five weeks on release for Brightman and Bocelli, and Time to say goodbye holds at 3, the song has been no lower than number 4. Third week in the runner-up spot for I wanna be the only one from Eternal and Bebe Winans, which leaves Hanson's Mmmbop holding the top spot for a third and final week.

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18June

The Encyclopaedia Galactica is a large book, but a wholesome one, thanks to the bowdlerising efforts of its editor-in-chief, Master Yoda (Jedi, 1st Class). Indeed, in some galactic quadrants it is known as "CLEAN YODA EPIC". --Richard Heathfield, rec.puzzles

Leafing through back issues of The Times, we see that the B.B.C. used to broadcast such fascinating programmes as East Anglian Herring Fishing Bulletin and Talk to Farmers: Reclamation of Waste Land. Is this less dull than the Monday morning mantra, Coming up in to-night's Panorama....

Chess: the shortest possible mates under increasingly esoteric conditions.

God, The Thrills suck. In the pantheon of lousy Irish bands, they slouch tall. Yes, even in the midst of such mighty triumphs of mediocrity, The Thrills stand out a mile. The new single sounds just like every other Thrills single I’ve ever heard. It’s so depressing. I mean, is there a point to The Thrills? -- Jim Carroll, The Irish Times

Which brings us to an exchange between an academic and a record company spokey. It expresses opinion, it’s not factual. If you persist then I shall make a formal complaint to the University. The complete Fisking has already been done by No Rock 'n' Roll Fun: First they came for the music executives...

Do the headline writers get paid by the meaning? asks Language Log of the BBC website.

Andrew Brown makes two criticisms of Wikiwawa. One is that the attention it pays to topics is out of kilter to the actual importance of the topic; he cites the 6623 words for the universe, and 8752 for a similarly-named range of toys. We're not particularly bothered by this; Wikiwawa has its strengths (pop culture) and its weaknesses (er, everything else).

His second point, though, explains why Wikiwawa and its spin-offs can never replace decent academic research. Nearly every view on every subject will be found among our authors and readership. To avoid edit wars, we should agree to present each of these views fairly, and not assert any one of them as correct. And that is what makes an article 'unbiased' or 'neutral'.

Er, no it isn't, it's what makes an article a complete waste of space. If no-one sorts the wheat from the chaff, then there is no grain, there is no bread, and everyone goes hungry. The Wikiwawaists may wish everyone to eat straw and dirt, but some of us wish to consume food that has been carefully prepared by people who actually know what they're doing.

The Armageddon Flowchart.

Computing Science reviews how many ways one can spell a spam word.

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19June

A few years ago, we mentioned the TERRORDAQ, a short-lived project to predict the most unstable areas of the world by means of simulated stock exchanges. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy - one particularly determined player wanted to win so much that they went heavily into Pres. Sadaam of Iraq will be deposed by 01/01/2004 in the game, then went into Iraq in real life.

Now, the SCIDAQ offers predictions, with (effectively) a percentage rating of outcome. At the moment, there's a 61% chance of a hack into the I-phone in the first two months after it goes on sale, but only a 35% chance of a product recall. There's a 40% chance of completing the International Space Station by the end of 2010, a 42% chance of launching a hotel into space by 2013, and a 52% chance of Richard Branson launching himself into space by the end of 2009. Amongst the most likely events, the players reckon there's an 86% chance of a major hurricane (category 3 or above) making landfall on the Canadian coast between Brownsville and Calais; it is unclear if an initial landfall in Nova Scotia will count.

One reason why Thatcher was a more successful politician than Blair was because she paid very little attention to the media, simply ploughing on with whatever she wanted to do. What newspapers said about her was of little or no interest. Perhaps she thought, quite rightly, that journalism in any case has only a minimal influence on the course of events.

In contrast Blair has achieved little because all along he and his aides have been obsessed by press coverage to the exclusion of almost everything else. You could list many examples of this. Perhaps the most memorable is the reaction of his chief adviser Jonathan Powell when the famous Iraq dossier was about to be published prior to thousands of British troops being sent to invade Iraq.

"What will be the headline in the Evening Standard on the day of publication?" Powell asked. It's hard to imagine anyone in the Thatcher camp asking that question when her task force was ordered into action. Richard Ingrams

Eddie Mair has been having printer trouble. Shelagh Fogarty, your Gaza briefing documents are here. I also have the salary advice of someone with a staff number ending 3B, and a rota for an unidentified department. There is a huge printout too of what to do in the event of a royal death, a fire at Bush House, or the reporting of accidents. The BBC. It's what we do. (and a continuation)

Music Week lists the top ten sellers on 7-inch since January 2000.

1 Icky Thump White Stripes 14851*
2 Steady As She Goes Raconteurs 13813
3 Christmas Time (Don't Let The Bells End) Darkness 12677
4 I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor Arctic Monkeys 11902
5 When The Sun Goes Down Arctic Monkeys 10596
6 The Denial Twist White Stripes 9711
7 Waiting For The Sirens' Call New Order 9707
8 Blue Orchid White Stripes 9139
9 Love Is Only A Feeling Darkness 8301
10 Our Velocity Maximo Park 8285

* - First week only

The best seller in the last ten years is Oasis's's 1997 opus D'ya know what I mean, which shifted 17,036 of 'em. The biggest seller prior to that was Wet Wet Wet's 1994 monster hit Love is all around, which shifted over 50,000 seven-inchers, still only 3% of its final sale.

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20June

The Economist recently wrote,

Gordon Brown observed that even a fag-end Tory government was preferred to Labour, and calculated that it would always be so as long as Labour was associated with high taxes and wild spending. Mr Brown, by then shadow chancellor, saw that Labour must side with the industrious and ambitious, as the Tories had done, to win power. To that end, he ruthlessly cut back the grandiose spending plans of his shadow-cabinet colleagues. Working closely with Mr Blair, he began to eradicate every promise that suggested Labour was out of touch with the sentiments of middle England, such as the enforcement of the union closed shop. Much of this outraged senior colleagues, among them John Smith, the party leader.

It's almost surprising that the Econ doesn't challenge the position it attributes to Mr. Brown. Labour's defeat in 1992 wasn't so much about the economy, but about the great leap of faith required to put Neil Kinnock into Downing-street. By this time, Mr. Kinnock was a great electoral liability, just as Mr. Hague would be in 2001. It's entirely possible that a Labour party running on something close to the 1983 manifesto would have been elected in 1997, and absolutely certain that a John Smith party would have won a handsome - though not spectacular - majority. The magazine is blaming Mr. Brown for Labour's unquestioning acceptance of Thatcherite values.

(More from the Econ, plus a checklist from Matthew Parris - 1030 words)

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20June

There were, of course, lots of game show allusions in our recent Labour deputy leadership post. Here are the ones we deliberately included:

• Question Muck, and the icon, from Dick 'n' Dom in da Bungalow.
• These people are going for the highest elected office in the Labour party. If they want the prize, they'll have to work together as a team, from The Weakest Link.
• If they're clever, or very very lucky, they may win the odd first preference or two, and they may be able to turn those into something completely... unremarkable! Who are these scintillating six? from The Crystal Maze.
• Bungalowheads -- ready! Contenders -- ready! Three! Two! Gladiators there, fairly obviously.
• Question One! The traditional start to Dick 'n' Dom's Ask the Family before it lost its bottle.
• That's this week's Secret Catchphrase, perhaps the most obscure of them all, it's from You Bet Your Life starring Bill Crosby or Karl and Groucho Marx.
• ...earning Jon a book token and this round of applause. From the Beat the Brains section of Brain of Britain.

More rounds of the Dinosaur Cheese interlude some other time.

In Ireland, an anti-litter group has proposed a penalty point for any driver who throws litter from a car window. It's not going to happen in the near future, but this is the sort of blue-sky thinking that could make a big difference to the quality of everyday life. And, if applied to the UK, could remove a lot of poor drivers from the road. First, though, the law would need to be enforced, and given the lax enforcement of the hand-held mobile telephone law, we don't hold out any hope.

The BBC has issued a twelve-point guiding principles on impartiality, a summary of the existing editorial guidelines. We welcome this concise summary, and commend it to other projects that claim to be impartial, but merely tend to waffle - as the BBC says, impartiality does not require the representation of every argument or facet of every argument on every occasion or an equal division of time for each view. The editor of the News At Ten gives his thoughts, and Libby Purves blames Johnny Birt.

In the discussion of impartiality, the BBC has determined that the 2004 finale of The Vicar of Dibley was not impartial in its promotion of a campaign to reduce third world debt. The report also found that the corporation's coverage of 2005's Live 8 event was insufficiently critical, and amounted to an endorsement of a political aim. The show's writer Richard Curtis disagrees; those of us who recall Bob Geldorf telling the ancien prime minister of Canada that he should support Mr. Geldorf's cause or stay away might still differ..

The Potomac Basin Times reports, Revenue from the district's red-light camera programme fell steadily during the period that many of the devices were broken, according to statistics from the Metropolitan Police Department.

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21June

The new rail operator for the West Midlands and North London Railways (County) has been announced. It's Govia, who will replace the current National Express service on 11 November on all routes, including those through Snow Hill. The Department For Tarmac press release has some promises:

* New services, including a new semi-fast service between London and Crewe, serving the Trent Valley, and two trains an hour all day between Birmingham and Liverpool and Birmingham and Northampton from December 2008 on the completion of the West Coast Main Line modernisation
* A fleet of 37 new electric Desiro trains by July 2009
* New class 172 diesel trains to replace the existing class 150 DMUs operating on the Snow Hill line services in the Birmingham area by July 2010.
* £11.5m investment in stations
* 1033 more car parking spaces
* Forecast 90.7% punctuality and reliability by the end of the franchise.

The franchise ends in 2015; there is a break in 2013 if performance is not up to par. Regulated fares will be limited to inflation plus 1%, except on the line from Northampton to London - that could rise by 3% in real terms. Smartcard ticketing is pledged by 2010, and there will be automatic gates at five stations in central Birmingham - Neustraßebahnhof, Moor-street, Snow-hill, Five-ways, and University.

There will be a new system for compensating holders of season tickets who experience delays:

The new passenger refund system, Delay/Repay, will compensate season ticket holders for delays to journeys they have actually taken, not on the basis of overall performance. This is the same compensation system as currently operates for single, return and weekly ticket holders. Refunds will be on the basis of the proportional daily cost of season tickets, with a 50% single refund for delays of 30-59 minutes, 100% single refund for delays of 60-119 minutes, and 100% return refund for delays of 120 minutes+. This system will be rolled out nationally during the term of each new franchise.

Initially, passengers will have to fill in forms, but we rather hope that This Sort Of Thing can be validated when the new smartcard comes in.

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21June

Until records were allowed to chart on downloads alone in 2006, it was exceedingly rare for singles to climb to number one directly from outside the top ten. The record-setting record for the physical era was Captain Sensible's interpretation of Happy talk, which shot from 33 to 1 in the last week of June 1982. Like two other soaring records of the time – Musical Youth's Pass the dutchie (26-1, Sept 82) and Shakin' Stevens's Green door (22-1, Jul 81) – the single had just one day's sales counting in the old week, and a full week in the second frame.

Record Retailer cited a leap from 27-1 for Elvis Presley's Surrender in May 1961, and a 21-1 movement for the Beatles' Hey Jude; neither made such an extreme change on the NME chart. John Lennin had the final climber from outside the top 20, (Just like) starting over rebounded from position 21 in the week following his assassination in December 1980.

After Gallup began compiling the singles chart electronically in 1983, such huge climbs became a thing of the past. Only songs used in commercials, such as Ben E. King's Stand by me (19-1, Feb 1987) or novelty records such as Philip Pope's The Chicken Song (11-1, May 1986, credited to Spitting Image) achieved the feat; electronic compilation, and the movement of release dates to Monday, ensured that new releases charted higher in their first week.

This week in 1987 saw the last memorable climb to the top. The Firm's Star trekkin' had entered the previous week at number 74. The accellerando questionable shot up to number 13; the 61-position climb was the second largest in chart history, beaten only by Nick Berry's Every loser wins, which had moved 66-4 the previous October. Like Berry's dirge, the Firm climbed to number 1 the following week.

One further record would climb from outside the top ten to number one, Glenn Maderios's Nothing's going to change my love for you moved 11-1 in July 1988. And there would be a larger climb, Los Del Rio's Macarena shot up from 74 to 11 in July 1996, on its way to number 2. We should mention one footnote: leaked sales of Steps's The way you make me feel put the group in at 72 in the last week of 2000. The full sale saw them rise to number 2 at the start of the new millennium, barely 500 sales adrift of the top.

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22June

Gusworld doesn't like Facebook, and wonders, Maybe I'm turning into a Luddite. Maybe Gusworld is just calling a waste of time a waste of time. Aussies are blunt like that (see also, calling a crap English cricket team a crap English cricket team.)

Gordon Brown's first appearance in The Times came on 15 March 1982, when he was appointed vice-chairman of the Scottish Labour Party. His next reference came on 28 September 1982, in connection with the proposed privatisation of Britoil.

Documents leaked to Dr Gordon Brown, a leading member of the Scottish Labour Party, show that Britoil has been locked in a row with the Department of Energy, headed by Mr Nigel Lawson, over the extent to which its balance sheet should be "beefed up" to prepare the company for public floatation... Dr Brown, Scottish vice-chairman of the Labour party, called last night for an inquiry by the Comptroller and Auditor General.

Curiously, by the time he had been elected to the Commons in 1983, Dr. Brown had become plain Mr. Brown. Dumbing down began at an early date.

Prior to the launch of Kerrang, owners EMAP's business plan was to reach an 8% share and 200,000 listeners by its first set of Rajars. They missed by a fair chalk. Rivals Chrysalis said they need a 10-15% share to make money. After three years, the station is just about averaging a 10% share on 2 million listener hours (about 2.7% of the region's entire listenership.)

The strange and bizarre things we see when searching for books reviewed in the new Private Eye:

Language Log looks into ways of writing large numbers. While Germanic and Latin languages write 123,456,789 (or similar), Chinese-based languages count in groups of 10,000, so would write 1,2345,6789. Indian, meanwhile, has names for every second power of ten above 1000, so writes 12,34,56,789.

Crooked Timber looks into the purchasing power parity of the euro and the dollar. It's one of the worst arguments we've seen from the various commentators, all arguing by anecdote. The main point: the PPP of a single currency will vary within its sphere of operation. A pound in London will buy less than a pound in Inverness; a euro in Paris will buy less than a euro in Catalonia; a dollar in Toronto will buy less than a dollar in Guelph. PPP per city is a far more useful metric.

Mainstreamness for the week ending 17 June: Radio1 - 24%
Radio2 - 15%
6Music - 31%
1xtra - 9%
Virgin1215 - 33%

There's a surprise - almost no difference between the Six and Gerbil.

Air Canada stopped accepting reservations for pets to fly on its passenger services, even as checked baggage. Animals may now only fly through more expensive cargo flights.

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23June

What's been agreed? A full-time president of the European Council; a new foreign affairs High Representative who can only operate where all 27 foreign ministers agree, and without reference to (or interference from) the European Court; a reduction in national veto areas, particularly on justice; more powers for the European Parliament, which resolved the main problem presented by the Dutch; clear criteria for new members (next up: Croatia, hoping to enter in 2009); and a slimmed-down European Commission from 2014.

Before negotiations completed, Crooked Timber presented a brief guide to the negotiations at the summit. Germany proposed re-purposing the substantive parts of the European Constitution, including the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Politicians, particularly in France and the UK, are presenting this as a tidying-up exercise, and reneging on their previous referendum commitments. The actual result is a bundle of amendments, mostly to the Nice (2000) and Maastricht (1992) treaties. It's not a new treaty, it doesn't need formal ratification by all the various national parliaments. Ireland will have to hold a referendum, Denmark and the Netherlands might, the other governments reckon that it's not necessary.

There was a dispute over how voting weighted by population should work - Germany proposed a one person, one vote; Poland feared that it would be squeezed out of such a system and proposed one based on the square root of a country's population. The ruling twins made a tremendous diplomatic gaffe, by saying their population would be much higher if someone hadn't invaded almost seventy years ago. Don't mention the war! said everyone, to which the Polish negotiators replied, Why not? You started it, you invaded Poland! The final result is a classic European fudge: the original proposals will come into effect, but they will be delayed until 2014. That, apparently, was enough for the Poles.

The ex-Constitution proposed an opportunity for each national parliament to debate and possibly block ideas. There were also proposals for the European Parliament to take a role in justice and internal matters. The latter proposal has survived, but the British were particularly prejudiced against this idea, presumably because it would reduce the voice given to their Minister of Funk. In the event, the European Parliament got those additional powers; detailed negotiations will reveal just how much extra power is allowed to the national parliaments. The British insisted that they may reserve powers on Justice and Funk on a case-by-case basis; this narrow party politicking has proven acceptable to the others.

What's in the European Charter of Rights and Freedoms that so offends prochain ancien British prime minister Mister Tony Blair? Plenty. Again, the British have insisted upon their right to torture, pillage, censor, and exploit; nothing in the Charter will be justiciable in British domestic courts, and it'll be back to Strasbourg for everyone. At least the TGV-Est has halved the travel time since the early 1990s.

The summit this week has been to work out a framework for negotiation. Detailed drafting of the amending treaty begins in earnest now, and it's scheduled to be signed before the end of the year. Unless stated otherwise, changes will come into effect in around two years' time.

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24June

The pastime amongst the chattering classes at present seems to be predicting who will be in Mr. Brown's cabinet, assuming that he becomes prime minister on Wednesday. We already know that Mister Tony Blair (prime minister), Mr. Reid (Minister of Funk), Mr. Prescott (Deputy PM), and Mr. Goldsmith (attorney-general) have said they do not wish to serve in a new cabinet. Of the current members, we suggest the following broad movements:

Offices of state:
Mr. Brown (finance) - promotion
Mr. Falconer (justice) - out
Mrs. Beckett (foreign affairs excluding Europe) - demotion
Mr. Hoon (Europe) - out

Spending departments:
Mr. Darling (productivity) - sideways
Mrs. Hewitt (health) - out
Mr. Johnson (education) - no change
Mr. Hutton (employment) - sideways
Mr. Milliband (agriculture and environment) - promotion
Mr. Browne (defence) - out

Non-spending departments:
Mr. Straw (Lord Privy Seal) - promotion
Mrs. Jowell (national heritage) - out
Mrs. Armstrong (crying like a baby) - out
Mrs. Amos (leader of Lords) - out
Mr. Benn (international development) - promotion
Master Kelly (local government) - sideways
Mrs. Blears (godaloneknows) - sideways
Mrs. Smith (chief whip) - out
Mr. Timms (finance 2) - promotion

Regions:
Mr. Hain (Northern Ireland and Wales) - promotion
Mr. Alexander (Scotland, also transport) - out

Mrs. Beckett is worth keeping on board, we expect her to become the new Lord Privy Seal. We reckon Mr. Milliband will be the finance minister, and Mr. Straw will take at least half of the Funk and Justice departments. Mr. Darling may take the other half, and we suspect Mr. Hain will be the new overseas minister. Mr. Benn feels right to become the minister for the environment. Master Kelly could well become the new number 2 at the finance ministry, while Mrs. Blears will take her reverse-Midas touch to something utterly unimportant, like the national heritage department. Who cares if the UK messes up the Olympics? Newcomers will include Mr. Balls, Miss Eagle, and probably the umpteenth return for Mrs. Harman. If Mr. Cruddas is elected deputy leader, we expect he would be given a sinecure such as the Ducky of Lancaster.

On a grander scale, now that the devolution process appears to have reached a stable point, we rather hope that Mr. Brown would combine the various regional ministries into one grand Ministry of the Regions, allowing the Minister for Europe to take a clear place at the cabinet table. There will be a big surprise when the cabinet is announced; our suggestion is that a Minister for Housing will be appointed.

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24June

It's nigh-on two years since we first started raving about Tokio Hotel. Finally, finally, the insular British media are playing catch-up. Bill, the porcupine on his head, twin Tom, and The Other Two played at the Academy last Wednesday. According to Music Weak's reporter, It was like standing in the audience at Take That in 1994. Was this the moment they surpassed Avril as the World's Biggest Pop Act?

Gregory Lemarchal has the biggest hit in France, De temps en temps is straight in at number 1, just four places ahead of Tokio Hotel. Marquess moves into the German top five; Mika's Relax take it easy comes straight in at 6. Marillion's record is in at 6 in the Netherlands, proving that their Dutch fans are just as rabid as those in the UK. Laura Lynn's top of the Flemish list, Mika's Love today heads in Latvia, and Maroon 5 head the new Estonian national airplay chart, where we also see Hanna (FI07) charting with You are.

20 17 Twang - Either way
19 10 Manic Street Preachers - Your love alone
18 16 Fray - How to save a life
17 14 Boys Aloud - Ruby
16 15 Michael Bublé - Everything
15 13 Mark Medlock - Now or never
14 12 Timberland et al - Give it to me
13  8 Ville Valo and Natalia Avelon - Summer wine
12 NE Enrique Iglesias - Do you know?
11  9 Maroon 5 - Makes me wonder
10 18 Travis - Closer
 9 11 Mika - Love today
 8  7 Mutya Buena - Real girl
 7 19 Mika - Relax (take it easy)
 6  6 Mika - Grace Kelly
 5  1 Åvril Lavignnesøn - Girlfriend
 4  4 Beyonce / Shakira - Beautiful liar
 3  5 Rihanna - Umbrella
 2  3 Linkin Park - What I've done
 1  2 Nelly Furtado - Say it right

24June

Enter Shikari and Just Jack chart in the bottom two positions on downloads alone - it's particularly bad luck on Siobhan Donaghy, squeezed out by them. Bobby Valentino is in at 65, Nataaaaaasha Bedingplant climbs to 70, and the Enemy at 51. Mel C's new single Carolyna can only make number 49. Heavy Radio 1 play does no good for Scouting For Girls - 44; heavy Radio 2 play leaves Robin Thicke at 43. For the first time this year, there is no Mika in the UK top 40.

Climbs bring an old Calvin Harris number back into the top 40 (64-38), not that that's enough to get it played on Radio Onelistener; and Stacey Ferguson 60-37 with Big girls don't cry, and that does get played. Single release on 16 July, there. Simon Webbe's Grace enters at 36, clearly chanelling his previous minor hit No worries. My Chemical Romance climb into the 40 after a couple of weeks outside; they're not on physicals until 9 July. Paul Fab Macca Whacky Thumbs Aloft enters at 34 with Dance tonight, he was on the chart as recently as December 2005, and may rise from physicals next week. A one-point rise for the Klaxons, also out to buy to-morrow. Ash enter at 32 with their tribute to Britain's independent nuclear deterrant (purchased from the Damnedyankees, natch), Polaris. In at 31 come Paramore, performing Misery business, and any suggestion that this lot are just a cheap copy of the Faders is entirely correct.

Air Traffic have their first top 30 hit with Shooting star. This week's back-to-back is the Fray at 27 and 28, previously achieved by Little Richard in May 1957, Gene Pitney in March 1964, Nina Simone in February 1969, and Dawn in October 1973. After being plugged to buggery on the BBC this week, and ahead of physical release, Jack Penate enters at 25 with Torn on the platform, which we reckon bears more than a passing resemblance to the Long Blondes' Once and never again. Fans of plausible plagarism may wish to track down Mr. Penate's song Spit out stars, a dead ringer for Kenicke's Punka. Avril climbs to 23 with When you're gone, in stores on 2 July. In at 22 comes Gagagagagagagagareth Gagagagagagates's Angel on my shoulder. If yer can't say something nice, say nothing. So Justin Numberwang's Lovestoned enters at 21.

Muse come in at 18 with Map of the problematique, a download-only release. Take That's I'd wait for life comes in at 17 - lest we forget, the group's last thirteen singles have all gone top three, but this one's out in the shops already, and looks set to become the group's smallest hit since 1992's Once you've tasted love made it all the way to 47. The Hoosiers enter at 16 with Worried about Ray - that's also on physicals to-morrow. The Chemical Brothers' Do it again climbs 11 to 12 on its physical release, the first time a lead-off single has missed the top ten since 1995. A massive hit for the Editors, Smokers outside the hospital doors gets full release, and climbs from 30 to 7.

Which leaves the top five: Kelly Rowland down one to 5, Calvin Harris is back up two to 4 - it's historically rare for a single to climb when its album is released, but the ease of track-by-track downloading may have helped. Enrique holds at 3, and Lee Mead's version of Any dream will do climbs to 2. So Rihanna holds at the top spot for a sixth week.

On the albums, the White Stripes' Icky Thump enters at the top, displacing the Travelling Wilburys by a place. Enrique's Insomniac enters at 3, surely something that can never describe his purchasers. Calvin Harris claims I Created Disco at 8, and the second hits collection of Take That re-enters at 9. The Ghosts chart at 18 with The World is Outside; good climbs for the Monkeys, Fratellis, Numberwang, and the Klaxons. Ray Lamontagne's Till the Sun Turns Black enters at 35. Lower down, new entries for Justice (49), Gallows (57), and Simian Mobile Disco (59).

 6  2 White Stripes - Icky thump
 7 30 Editors - Smokers outside the hospital doors
10  9 Kelly Clarkson - Never again
11 12 Reverend and the Makers
  - Heavyweight champion of the world
13  5 Mutya Buena - Real girl
18 NE Muse - Map of the problematique
23 32 Åvril Lavignnesøn - When you're gone
24 14 Holloways - Generator
25 NE Jack Penate - Once and never again
27 19 Fray - Over my head
28 28 Fray - How to save a life
29 20 Twang - Either way
30 NE Air Traffic - Shooting star
31 NE Paramore - Misery business
32 NE Ash - Polaris
35 42 My Chemical Romance - Teenagers
38 64 Calvin Harris - Acceptable in the eighties
41 31 Åvril Lavignnesøn - Girlfriend
44 NE Scouting for Girls - It's not about you
47 35 Mika - Love to-day
49 NE Melanie C - Carolyna
54 16 Maximo Park - Books from boxes
55 66 Arctic Monkeys - Flourescent adolescent
57 47 Mika - Grace Kelly
63 50 Mark Ronson - Stop me
66 43 Pigeon Detectives - I'm not sorry
68 44 Manic Street Preachers
  - Your love alone is not enough
74 NE Just Jack - Writer's block
75 NE Enter Shikari - Jonny sniper

.. 15 Marillion - Thanks whoever you are
.. 21 Koopa - One off hit for the summer
.. 33 Erasure - Sunday Girl
.. 39 Gossip - Listen up
.. 69 Ghosts - The world is outside
.. 72 Linkin Park / Jay Zed - Numb/Encore
.. 74 White Stripes - Seven nation army

[Additional commentary, 30 June] Some remarkable drops this week - Koopa fall from 21 right out of the top 200, Rumble Strips go from 46 to nowhere, and the Zimmers went 26-32-88-out. And we have the full run for McFly's recent chart-topper Baby's coming back - it went 1-20-39-59-91-162-out.

24June

This week, we've been watching and hearing...

• How We Built Britain (BBC-1), in which our hero picks up a golf club, goes into the servant's passage, tells us all about Charles Rennie Mackintosh's genius, and takes us on a guided tour of the Scottish Parliament building.
• Coast (BBC-2), featuring the Polish immigrants into Blackpool, the history and wildlife of the Isle of Man, and a tour of a submarine factory.
• Andrew Marr's History of Modern Britain (BBC-2) reaches the present day, and he's not afraid to launch into trenchant criticism of the Blair regime, even though he pulls the punches about the Butler report. These three shows have been the BBC at its absolute best.
• Countdown (C4). We are not fans of Jo Brand, and we do wonder if the producers had to pick her for what would otherwise have been a completely enjoyable Finals Week.
• Feedback (Radio 4), on the over-use of trails for Dullard Island Dicks, Matthew Bannister's hour-long interview with a member of the British Nazi Party, and a discussion on impartiality within the Corporation.

24June

The second round of voting in the French parliamentary elections produced something of a surprise. The UMP did pick up an overall majority to become the first re-elected government since 1978, but its 345 seats was slightly down on the previous assembly, and well short of the 450 or so that was projected a week earlier. The Socialists increased their representation from 149 to 207; it appears that most of the centre ground vacated by M. Bayrou has broken this way. M. Bayrou's party received only three seats. The Communists won 15 seats, and there are small deputations for the Greens, a centre-right party, and a far-right one.

The most high-profile individual casualty was Alain Juppé; the former prime minister and mayor of Bordeaux was given the Ecology and Durable Development ministry in the caretaker government last month, but was defeated for election in a Bordeaux seat. M. Juppé said that he was leaving politics. Election day's other twist was the news that defeated presidential candidate Ségolène Royal and François Hollande would be splitting, perhaps personalising the struggle for control in the Socialist party.

The Irish government has abolished stamp duty for first-time home buyers, backdated to 31 March.

The man convicted of the murder of Jill Dando has been granted leave to appeal, as the link to a speck of gunpowder is now discredited. Miss Dando was killed outside her home in April 1999; the man was convicted in summer 2001.

Gordon Brown, a Labour leadership candidate, approached the current and a previous leader of the Liberal Democrat party. Mr. Campbell said that no member of his party would serve in a cabinet led by Mr. Brown, and Mr. J. Paddy Ashdown declined the role of Northern Ireland secretary in Mr. Brown's putative cabinet.

A ballot of Labour party members and supporters preferred Mr. Cruddas as deputy leader; he did not secure the support of an absolute majority. Upon eliminating the votes for Mrs. Insubstantial-Careerist, the preference shifted to Mr. Johnson; he did not secure the support of an absolute majority. Upon eliminating the votes for Mr. Hain, the preference remained with Mr. Johnson; he did not secure the support of an absolute majority. Upon eliminating the votes for Mr. Benn, the preference was still with Mr. Johnson; he did not secure the support of an absolute majority. Upon eliminating the votes for Mr. Cruddas, the preference shifted to Mrs. Harman. Labour has not published figures for non-effective non-transferable votes; as her winning margin was 50.4%-49.6%, it is believed that Mrs. Froglet has been elected without achieving a full quota. No ballot was held to validate Mr. Soup Dragon's claims to the party leadership.

Obituaries this week included Piara Khabra, the Labour MP for Ealing Southall; and Paul Hodder-Williams, publisher.

24June

Another unsettled week, with showers never far away. Heavy rain caused flooding in the Severn valley on Tuesday evening; in Birmingham, we literally had two drops of rain. There was further flooding in the region following rains on Friday.

18 Mo cloud, showers    12/18,16.0
19 Tu sunny spells       9/22
20 We sunny spells      12/21
21 Th sun and showers   11/20, 2.0
22 Fr showers           13/17,14.5
23 Sa sunny spells      13/20
24 Su rain to sun       12/15, 2.5

Rainfall in June: 120.5mm; monthly average: 50mm

Degree cooling days: 31
2006: 69/360
2005: 64/238
2004: 54/198
2003: 67/328