7May

Scotland

One from the Bad Losers department. The defeated Labour candidate in Cunninghame North is considering a challenge to the result. Allan Wilson lost the seat to Kenneth Gibson (SNP) by 48 votes, ensuring that the SNP took a 47-46 victory in the overall election. Why is this important? Cunninghame N is in the West of Scotland region, where Labour already enjoys an Overhang of one seat. If Labour succeeds in reversing the result, it will become another Overhangseat, and the SNP will not be compensated by an additional list seat.

More precisely, that is why the situation of uncompensated Overhangseats is so dangerous - it makes it far easier for parties to produce perverse and undemocratic results. Forty-seven more votes in one constituency would have turned the entire Scottish Parliament on its head.

Mr. Wilson would do well to remember Gerry Malone, whose defeat in Election '97 came too late for the re-run on BBC Parliament. Mr. Malone lost by precisely 2 (two) votes, and successfully petitioned to have the result overturned. His reward? Being on the wrong end of a Lib Dem majority of about 20,000.

Still on the subject of undemocracy, The Scotsman investigates why so many votes were discounted. Two Xs in the regional section, no markings at all, numbering rather than Xing - that's pretty fatal. Some of the reasons it suggests are open for challenge. Any mark in one box - whether an X, a tick, or a digit 5 - should be accepted, so long as it is clear, and does not identify the voter. The paper also suggests that a blank vote in the constituency section would invalidate the vote. If this is correct - and we have no evidence to confirm this actually happened - then it does expose the folly of physically linking the two ballots.

France

So, M. Sarkozy has won la Presidentialle. He will be formally inaugrated on 16 May. We stand by our initial reaction, that this will be bad news for France. His core policies - of putting the interests of capital ahead of those of people - have been tried elsewhere in the world. Almost without exception, these treatments have found to be the wrong prescription for whatever problems they were intended to solve. If M. Sarkozy attempts to impose these flawed and failed ideas on a hostile French populace, he will surely face the true face of French democracy - large, hostile crowds on the streets of every town and city, baying for the blood of those who would presume to rule them. Yet if M. Popup resiles from his commitments, he will rightly be slaughtered as an ineffectual politician, prepared to say anything to get into office, yet not actually doing anything once he arrives. It's no wonder that, in a show of Socialist support, the British Labour party welcomes M. Sarkozy with open arms, for they are similarly lustful for power, yet incapable of executing any action.

There are things to cheer about, and Johann Hari puts his finger on them. When every vote in every part of the country matters, those who would presume to rule us must be everywhere at once. They can't follow the Labour policy of targetting hard-working families and letting the singletons, infertile, and elderly go hang. Nor can they concentrate their effort into a couple of hundred patches of ground. Another cheer arose from the clear choice, the cleavage between the two parties. On the one hand, racist extremism; on the other, a settled if cautious life. It's not like the UK, where there are various packagings of the same fundamental idea.

And not trivialising politics, not reducing it to Westminster gossip, that's got to help. Take, for instance, the amazing result in Boston borough: C 5 (-7) Lab 0 (-11) LD 0 (-4) Ind 2 (nc) BBI 25 (+22) BBI GAIN The Boston By-pass Independents swept the board in almost the entire borough, with their main manifesto commitment being to lobby hard for a by-pass for the town. A single-issue group, yes. A group of intense local interest, yes. But this is the democratic engagement that far too much of Britain is lacking.

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Politics

8May

Michael Portillo, ex-MP

The election result was a Labour landslide, the party was returned with an overall majority of 179. Toby Blair went around the block a few times so that he could say at 5.13, a new dawn has broken with the sun rising behind him. Five women were appointed to cabinet posts, a record. Various ministers - Gordon Brown at Finance, David Blunkett at Education, Mo Mowlam at Northern Ireland, Harriet Harman at Social Security - claimed that their territory would be at the heart of the new administration. John Major went on to spend his first day out of office at The Oval cricket ground. Michael Heseltine ruled himself out of the Conservative party leader after suffering further chest pains.

(More: An election to win, the two songs to chart three times in the 90s, Yog, and Lard - 1840 words)

Three new entries into the top three? That's never happened before! First of them is from the Seahorses, the post-Stone Roses band featuring John Squire. It's not entirely unreasonable to describe Love is the law in terms of the Roses - it's epic, recognisable, and intensely tuneful without quite having a properly hummable hook. The group fell apart somewhat more quickly than it had been put together, and their 1998 festival appearances turned out to be their swansong. A second album was recorded, but never released.

So Gary Barlow has his second consecutive number one single, with Love won't wait coming in at the top. Though he was the only decent song-writer in Take That, Barlow had turned to some even greater talents - Madonna and Shep Pettibone. They'd written this song as a rock ballad for the thirty-eight-year-old mother of one's 1994 album Bedtime Stories, but it was eventually discarded. Madge's song was in the vein of Deeper and deeper, but Barlow sped the song up, trimmed some repetition, and brought out (or put in) a few notes from the chorus of Borderline. It had been eight months since Barlow's first single, during which time Robbie Williams had had a brace of number 2s, and Mark Owen a pair of 3s. Gary had now had ten number one singles from his past 11 releases, and - like his bandmates - had 13 consecutive top three singles.

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Two Songs a Week

9May

Some more thoughts on the future of socialism. In response to Sabrina Star's revolution within the revolution opinion piece, Violet argues that socialism has always been fighting in a capitalist (specifically, monied) environment.

Meanwhile, Jonathan Freedland sees signs that rampant capitalism is falling apart. The UK has staked much on being the best European emulator of the American model. But if that model is looking jaded, where does that leave us?

Benjamin Barber argues that capitalism is infantilising the entire culture. In rejecting this view, Russell Jacoby actually argues that making things more difficult - the plethora of microscopically-different changes all hewing to the same theme - is capitalism's fundamental flaw.

Change for change's sake

The Interior Ministry (prop: John "Oh fuck not health" Reid) and Lord Chancellor's Office (prop: Charlie Falconer) have been put into a blender overnight. The net result is that most of the day-to-day administration of justice transfers to the Lord Chancellor's Office, which now wants to call itself the Ministry of Justice (prop: Charlie Falconer). The remaining tough-guy bits remain with the rump Interior Ministry (prop: John "Oh fuck not health" Reid), which we suppose will have to get a slightly less uncool name. This may have to wait until the current Minister of the Interior has resigned from the cabinet in the early summer.

Het Grauniad reports on a 2005 plan to shrink the Finance ministry by putting it and the Department of Productivity into a ministerial blender, and allocating the remaining bits between Gordon Brown and whoever is the minister for Trade and Industry this week.

Your Walking Undead This Week

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Politics

9May

Brian Viner on the genius of Test Match Special.

Why geeks make the best lovers.

Martin Belam on the current state of British newspaper websites. He's viewing them through a lens of web 2.0, which he defines as RSS feeds, per-story comments, web-exclusive blogs, and direct plugging on a small number of serendipity-and-advertising sites. He doesn't ignore the basics (does it work? Is it readable?) and we're reminded that it's probably time that we reviewed some of the more serious week-end papers again, as we did in the first quarter of 2005.

Speaking of newspapers, we're impressed with the idea of Project Freesheet. Volunteers will patrol London on 13 June (a Wednesday), gathering discarded copies of the various free papers thrown around. Then they'll gather them into one big pile and take some pictures. A worthy cause.

Caroline Michel goes in search of Blair's zeitgeist author. Dude, it's obvious. Joanne Rowling. Started off as the underdog that the Brits love to champion, then she started to believe her own hype and got big and bloated and dangerously dark. And then announced that she was getting off the stage many years and many times, before the final act in summer 2007.

Love and Garbage has the definitive word on which papers should have been rejected in the Scottish count. We rather hope (and, given the state of the Scotsman group lately, suspect) that the whole "invalidate one half and the entire paper is lost" ruling is an urban myth. But we can't be sure, and that's damaging to our democracy. He said, sounding like a Scot.

M. Sarkozy is fucked - he has the backing of David Plunkett.

Sand castles of knowledge on a heavily-trafficked beach - Kyle Gann, aka Postclassic, is off Wikipedia. For good.

Those interested in this week's Eurovision Song Contest will probably wish to review the On Europe Live blog. These dedicated fans have been reporting live from the rehearsals since the start of the month.

St. John's has been looking good this week: 1 2.

And finally, Kitchentable reports on when a pigeon went shopping in Belfridge's.

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misc19

10May

I worked fucking hard to create a shagging opportunity for you, and then you went pussy.

No, I...

Instead, she ends up with this Josh guy, a complete fucking knob, who I have to sort. So that's your fault too, you know that?

Sort of. What did you do?

Put naked pictures of Abigail on his phone. Made sure Michelle could see 'em. Made sure everyone could see 'em. Quite funny.

Funny? That's sick! His sister... Why did you do that?

You know what, Tony, sometimes I don't know why we're friends any more.

It's weird, isn't it. I'm from Mars, you're from Venus. I do things, you worry about them. I sleep with girls, you persuade them to attempt suicide.

Don't...

Are you bunching your fists at me, Sid? If you want to hit me, go right ahead.

Ow! I said a punch, not a bitch-slap.

I can't believe you slapped me. It's hilarious. Sid, you'd better not be crying.

I'm not crying 'cause you punched me...

Crying for the kids in Africa.

You know I so used to look up to you, don't you.

Of course I did. You were at home every night, wanking your brains out. Oh, someday I'll be like Tony. Someday, I'll be like Tony.

And now I can think of nothing worse than being you.

You've always been selfish; I always understood that. You did things because you wanted something, fine. Makes sense. But now, now you do things because you can. You. Fuck. With. People. And I don't get why.

You've got no friends. No girlfriend. Only your parents left. Not even Effie is answering your calls. You're right. She is clever.

Every time you talk Sid, little flecks of spit, coming out of your mouth, are going on my face.

Sid. Sid, don't be a little girl. Sid. Sid! How the hell am I gonna get out of here?

Audio of this post (4.1 MB, 3'38.)

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Culture

10May

So, back to 2005, and the Ukrainian installment of the Eurovision Song Contest. Two years on, it's clear that this wasn't one of the most memorable contests, and we'd be hard-pushed to hum more than a few of the tunes. Not that we could have hummed Touch my fire (Javine, UK) or Nobody hurt no-one (Natalia Podolskaya, Russia) even while the song was playing. The hosts sent a politically-correct song supporting their new president Yuschenko, while Turkey sent an infectious ethnic beat. Switzerland stole Vanilla Ninja from Estonia, Norway had the hard-rocking Wig Wam, and Moldova's debut entry was a drum-bashing granny.

Greece won the contest, and won it by a surprisingly large distance. Helena Paparizou performed a song that did nothing for us at the time, and that we still think is amongst the weakest winners of recent years. It's to Malta that we turn for the Song of the Contest, and to a familiar name. Chiara had already secured third place in 1998, just a handful of points behind the winning Israeli entry. Though she was all alone and almost motionless on stage, it felt as though the Maltese performer was filling the arena with her rich vocals. We didn't much like the sound of the winning song My number one; we're loving Angel's instead.

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Two Songs a Week

11May

On Thursday afternoon, prochain ancien British prime minister Mister Tony YFWP Blair said,

I ask you to accept one thing. Hand on heart, I did what I thought was right. I may have been wrong. That's your call. But believe one thing if nothing else - I did what I thought was right for our country.

Later that evening, Karen 2205 said,

Is it overly harsh for me to think; yes, I believe you when you say you thought you were doing the right thing, but that's not good enough. You are the Prime Minister; you have a duty to do the job properly, it's not a role where you can legitimately excuse your poor perfomance by saying 'I did my best' where your best falls far short of the objective standards of what was needed. And that's not a purely political point - I think there was an arguable political case for involvement in Iraq, the same way there was a good case for not getting involved. But you dodged the issue. You didn't engage with the unpalatable argument, instead you now appeal to the heart; 'I did my best' and fail to engage with the issues.

We propose to examine both statements thought by thought, starting with Mister Blair's.

(That analysis in full - 1128 words)

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Politics

13May

Tony Parker comes straight into the top in France, performing Balance-toi; Swedish talent Åvril Lavignnesøn comes in at 3; she's up to number 1 in Ireland. DJ Ötzi returns to the top spot in Germany. Frida (not the one from ABBA) is at the top in Sweden, performing Dunka mig gul & blå; Markoolio takes a top-five position, and Da Buzz come into the top ten. Timberland et al have the most-played song on Latvian radio. Freefall from Jeckyll and Hyde is the new chart-topper in the Netherlands, where the PSV jump is in at 9. Who said the football song was an English phenomenon?

20 re Basshunter - Boten anna
19 NE Mika - Relax (take it easy)
18 NE Manic Street Preachers - Your love alone
17 16 DJ Ötzi - Ein stern
16 17 Mark Ronson - Stop me
15 12 Alex Gaudino - Destination Calabria
14 14 Arctic Monkeys - Brianstorm
13 11 Nelly Furtado - All good things
12 13 Ville Valo and Natalia Avelon - Summer wine
11  9 Boys Aloud - Ruby
10 10 Gwen Stiffeny - The sweet escape
 9  8 Pet Shop Boys - She's Madonna
 8  5 Fray - How to save a life
 7 15 Linkin Park - What I've done
 6  6 Timberland et al - Give it to me
 5  7 Mika - Love today
 4  4 Nelly Furtado - Say it right
 3  1 Mika - Grace Kelly
 2  3 Beyonce / Shakira - Beautiful liar
 1  2 Åvril Lavignnesøn - Girlfriend

13May

Eleven new entries into the top 75 this week, beginning with Biffy Clyro's Living is a problem... at 72, and Rufus Wainwright's Going to a town at 68. CSS come in at 67 with Let's make love and listen to death..., while Therese's Feeling me comes in at 61. The Maccabees' Precious time debuts at 49, at 48 is Heavyweight champion of the world from Reverend and the Makers. Meat Loaf is at 47 performing Cry over me, and R. Kelly's I'm a flirt enters at 44. Is that any way for a minister of women to behave? Good climbs for Armand van Helden (74-52) and the Red Hot Chili Peppers (67-41). The Peppers have a string of 20 consecutive top 40 releases, since 1992's Breaking the girl also peaked at 41.

First newie into the 40 is from Ross Copperman, with a sweeping midtempo number. Bootie Love are in at 25 with even more porn-dance nonsense. The unwelcome return of Maroon 5 is at 19 - they had two top five hits from their last album. In a similar vein, Snore Patrol climb 33 to 17. There's also a big climb for Jamie T at 15, that's a mere 19 places, but beats his peak of number 22 from last summer. A surprise that Hellogoodbye slips one to 11 after their huge new entry last week, making top ten space for Amerie, up 3 to 10.

Åvril Lavignnesøn comes down four to 9, and the Manic Street Preachers' sales hold up well - they've not managed two weeks in the top ten since The masses against the classes last millennium. Timberland etc slip to 7, and Linkin Park progress 11 places to 6.

After squeaking into the chart at number 61 in March following the national selection Making A Cock Up, Scooch tie their career high as Flying the flag (Upside down) re-enters at 5. It's nowhere near as good a Eurovision song as January 2000's More than I needed to know. It's the highest-charting UK Eurovision entry (or, indeed, any Eurovision entry) since 1997.

Gym Class Heroes slip a place to 4, Akron climbs from 11 to 3, and Bouncey and Shakira to 2. McFly have the seventh number 1 single of their three-year career, and the third double A-side. It's also their first cover version, excluding the charity cover You've got a friend in 2005. The old song is Baby's coming back, originally recorded by St. Francisville cartoon rockers Jellyfish, and a number 51 hit this week in 1991. The group released six UK singles, but was rewarded with just one week in the top 40 when The king is half-undressed scraped number 39 that February. The other A-side is Transylvania, giving the lads an excuse to goth it up like a Eurovision entry.

No change at the top of the albums chart for the Arctic Monkeys, holding the Manic Street Preachers' Send Away The Tigers to 2. Michael Bublé drops one to 3, with the new Travis album, The Boy With No Name, in at 4. Björk's Volta enters at 7, Beverley Knight's Music City Soul at 8, and Groove Armarda's Soundboy Rock debuts at 10. Akon and Fall Out Boy make small climbs into the top 20. Dolores O'Riordan, the former Cranberry, is in at 28 - the response to Are You Listening? is probably No. Gym Class Heroes and Elliott Smith have albums into the top 40; the Cinematic Orchestra and High School Musical The Concert crack the top 50. Very few big climbs, only Jojo's 74-55 move is a biggie. Behind her comes Bananarama's greatest hits and Carla Bruni.

 1 NE McFly - Baby's coming back
 8  2 Manic Street Preachers
  - Your love alone is not enough
 9  5 Åvril Lavignnesøn - Girlfriend
13  7 Mika - Love to-day
14  8 Mark Ronson - Stop me
16 39 Funeral For A Friend - Into oblivion
21 40 Jojo - Anything
23 19 Fray - How to save a life
31 24 The Enemy - Away from here
32 26 Mika - Grace Kelly
33 15 Arctic Monkeys - Brianstorm
39 44 Ross Copperman - All she wrote
46 36 Calvin Harris - Acceptable in the eighties
47 NE Meat Loaf - Cry over me
49 NE Maccabees - Precious time
54 47 Laura - Release me
58 52 Pink - Leave me alone
59 42 Massimo Park - Our velocity
64 55 Just Jack - Stars in their eyes
65 51 Gossip - Standing in the way of control
67 NE CSS - Let's make love and listen to death...
68 NE Rufus Wainwright - Going to a town
69 43 Beverley Knight - No man's land
73 re Mika - Lollipop
75 63 Killers - Read my mind

.. 58 Just Jack - Glory days
.. 59 The View - The Don/Skag Trendy
.. 64 30 Seconds to Mars - The Kill
.. 68 Arctic Monkeys - Flourescent adolescent
.. 70 Meck - Feels like home
.. 75 JayZed / Linkin Park - Numb/Encore

13May

This week, we've been watching and hearing...

* The Pyramid Show with Donny Osmond (Challenge) A title we're using just to irritate Bother of the Bar.
* election 97 (BBC Parliament) Sometime since it was last on (13.5.05) and now, the event has transcended Current Affairs and become History. We'd still like to see Election '59, mind.
* For the Rest of Your Life (ITV) A half-hour show spun out into 50 minutes.
* Veronica Mars (Trouble) 3.02, and a surprise appearance by Claudia's first boyfriend, who sounds remarkably like Brick Flagg from Kim Possible.
* Eurovision Song Contest (BBC-3, BBC-1, RTÉ Radio 1) One of the best shows, made even better by avoiding the twat.

13May

Bertie Ahern has taken the Walk of Votes in the only show hosted by Naoel AEdmhondis on Irish television at the moment:

Bertie has already opened boxes 1-9, and 41-43. The offer he rejected last week: a copy of Enda Kenny's Contract With The People, 30,000 Irish pounds to do up your house, and - based on the current opinion polls - €39.39. There are five boxes to the next offer.

Ah, I knew you'd be back. I'm back, wearing an even more garish shirt. The Treasury and Supply Benches are back. But during the break, we seem to have lost our player. Bertie, where are you? Naoel, you remember how you get to go out on the street and talk to passers-by? Cuts both ways: I'm going to open a couple of boxes while I'm in Belfast.

Box 40 A piece of pink ribbon. FG leader Enda Kenny has accused Michael McDowell of leaking information from the Mahon tribunal into Bertie Ahern's financial arrangements, something he has vehemently denied. "There's more trust between Gerry Adams and Ian Paisley than between Mr. Ahern and Mr. McDowell," says Trevor Sargent of the Greens.

Box 39 A small pot of jam. About 200 trucks participated in the rolling traffic jam on the M-50, a smaller turn-out than expected. A further 50 trucks moved up and down the East Wall Road, allowing cars through. See! Told you it would be a nothing.

Box 38 A large rubber hand on your shoulder. Devolution returned to Northern Ireland, with Ian Paisley appointed to the First Ministry, and Martin McGuinness the Deupty First Minister. And the best of luck to them. Not that we'll see Sinn Féin in power here if I have anything to do with it.

Box 37 12.8%. The Health Ministry has pledged to deduct almost 13% from the salary of nurses who have taken part in the recent work stoppages. They'll also not receive their 2% cost-of-living wage increase from the start of next month. "This is just going to inflame the situation," said all opposition parties.

One box to the next offer. Box 36 It's a clear endorsement for the Taoiseach, signed by Mary Harney, the former Progressive Democrat leader. "Let's have that". There you are, Michael McDowell, current PD leader. Michael, why are you blowing fog and clouds over the endorsement? "It will be for the Irish people to judge whether they are satisfied with the responses Mr. Ahern gives. Having asked him to make a statement it would be very foolish of me to start saying in advance of it what my position was or was not in relation to it."

Phone starts ringing. So, Bertie, any danger of the statement on your finances to-day? I said I'd make it sometime during the campaign and it's basically a question of putting it all together, but I certainly will do it during the campaign. I just have to grapple with it ... put it together as well as campaigning.

Naoel finally picks up the phone. Ah, hello. You'd like to grapple with these politicians? Really? Oh. Oh! OH! Naoel puts the phone down very quickly, turning redder than his very red shirt. I am shocked. I'm shocked. Really I am.

The elector says that instant response isn't the done thing, and it's not unreasonable to wait for a considered reply. Though if you've still not made a reply by the next offer - six boxes from now, 20 will remain - the offers will start to fall. Your new offer:

A copy of Enda Kenny's Contract With The People, a 12½% rate of corporation tax, a bottle of hygenic hand gel so that you can wash your hands of the nurses dispute, €500, a milk bottle, and a brick. Bertie Ahern, Dáil or No Dáil?

No Dáil!

We play on. Six boxes to the next offer.

Box 36 A gauntlet, which Enda Kenny, leader of the opposition Fine Gael, is going to pick up, and ceremonially throw down. Yes, Enda, I shall come to the ball with you. Er, I mean, have a debate on Thursday next week on a Primetime special moderated by Miriam O'Callaghan. And not by the man in the hideous shirt. I thought I was popular. I really thought I was popular. You've squandered your return to fame, Naoel. Shut it.

Box 35 New public hospital beds. Labour leader Pat Rabbitte says that there's no reason why the new government can't match the achievement of the 1948-51 government, which delivered an extra 2000 beds. Ah, they're pulling figures from out of their rabbitte-holes. We've a costed proposal to add 570 beds by 2011.

Box 34 It's a nurse delivering a heckle. At the Irish Nurses' Organisation special conference to discuss the work-to-rule, Enda Kenny said that he would personally intervene to start talks. Liz McManus for Labour said that she would like to see a timeframe for a 35-hour week. We'll be happy to employ an international expert to reach that target, so long as it's on a cost-neutral basis. So less work for less pay?

Box 33 A drum. Health board chief Brendan Drumm has been banging on about commissioning a study into how a 35-hour working week might be achieved. Madelene Spiers of the nurses' union said that this wouldn't help. "If Bertie Ahern can resolve one of the most intractable political problems on this island, surely he should be able to resolve the nursing issue by coming in and looking at what the nurses wanted and what they were prepared to give in return."

Box 32 A red flag. Joe Higgins of the Socialist Party, that'll be yours. "Yes, and we won't take part in a government led by Fianna Fáil or Fine Gael." So you'll participate in one led by, for instance, Sinn Fein or the Greens? "Yes, but they've both been resiling from their core policies in recent days." Calm down, Gerry, that attitude will get you nowhere.

Box 31 A five-pointed star, with the picture of an eagle in the middle. Yes, thank you Albania, failing to score would have made my own troubles look trivial.

Phone rings. Yes, hello. You're waiting? So are we all, dear Elector, so are we all. You have no idea when Mr. Ahern will tell all about his home improvement scam, er, scheme? Neither do we, dear, neither do we.

At this stage of the game, The Elector is prepared to offer the following for your box. A 2% drop in support, the prospect of five years on the back benches, the right to remain silent, a copy of Enda Kenny's Contract with the People, a house brick, and a milk bottle.

Think carefully. You'll never take the Vale of Votes again. I might, if I win, you know. Well, yes, there is that. Next thing, you'll be telling me that this is a mindless guessing game. You did ask, Naoel. Ask me the question.

Bertie Ahern, at a 2% drop in support, the prospect of five years on the back benches, the right to remain silent, a copy of Enda Kenny's Contract with the People, a house brick, and a milk bottle; Dáil or No Dáil?

No Dáil!

Twenty-one boxes remain, and five more until the next offer.

Box 10 Whadd'ya know, it's a statement from Bertie Ahern! The money spent on refurbishing my Drumcondra home is all accounted for and I categorically deny lodging any money to my bank account. My unusual financial arrangements at the time he was Minister for Finance were related to the judicial separation from my wife, Miriam. It was a period of great uncertainty and involved great personal turmoil. Funds given to my former partner, Celia Larkin, by Manchester businessman Michael Wall for the stamp duty on his home and for refurbishments were given to her for convenience. Michael McDowell of the PDs, you want to say something? "Yes, I'm happy with the statement and hope that a line can be drawn under the issue."

If you want to do that, we'll have to call in the world's best drawer of lines under things, former British prime minister Mr. John Major. He'll take a moment or two to arrive, so we'll take a break.

13May

Devolved government returned to Northern Ireland, after a suspension of four years.

André Bosclair resigned as leader of the Parti Québécois following poor performances in provincial elections last March.

Poland, the Netherlands, and Czechia introduced proposals to allow national parliaments to block EU legislation. Under the proposal, if one-third of national parliaments vote against a particular law, it is sent back to the Commission for review.

Two people have been convicted of leaking a memorandum of a meeting in April 2004 between prochain ancien British prime minister Tony Blair and war criminal Candidate X. David Keogh hoped that the document would help to expose X as a madman; Leo O'Connor pased the memorandum on to his employer Tony Clarke, an ancien Labour MP. The two have been convicted in a trial held under a cloak of secrecy so that X is not publicly exposed as a madman. The memorandum has not been published by anyone, but is believed to include a suggestion by Candidate X that troops loyal to him should bomb the Qatar television station al-Jazeera. Mr. Keogh will serve six months in jail; Mr. O'Connor three months.

The British government confirmed that its identity register would cost at least £6 milliard, almost eight times the estimate laid before Parliament in 2003.

Prochain ancien British prime minister Mister Tony Blair has resigned as leader of the Labour party. His replacement, as decided by the cabinet in consultation with Labour's ruling executive committee, is Mister Tony Blair. A permanent replacement will now be sought from amongst the ranks of the Labour MPs.

British police have declined to discipline their own officers in the assassination of Jean Charles de Menezes in 2005. A prosecution under health and safety rules is pending.

The Australian government ordered its cricketers not to tour Zimbabwe this September.

Obituaries this week included Bernard Weatherill, former Speaker of the Commons.

13May

Though showers were never far away this week, it's only the Sunday that turned into a day of near-solid rain. The dominant feature was the succession of fronts, the most vicious of which dropped almost half the average May's rain in ten hours.

07 Mo showers, sun      11/16, 1.5
08 Tu showers            9/16, 2.5
09 We cloud, rain later  8/15, 4.5
10 Th sun to rain        8/14, 6.5
11 Fr heavy showers      7/16, 7.5
12 Sa showers to sun     9/15, 6.0
13 Su rain               7/12,26.0

Rainfall in May: 54.5mm; monthly average: 64mm

Degree heating days: 492½
2005-6: 684/684
2004-5: 556/556
2003-4: 753/754

Degree cooling days: 5
2006: 13/360
2005: 1/238
2004: 2/198
2003: 11/328