17April

It is spring 1997, a specific moment in history, a moment when female celebrities who have tattoos and bolts through the tongue, who wear high heels and show off their knickers, hold a specific meaning for us. - William Leith

In at 7 came Shola Ama's cover of You might need somebody. If there's one song that perfectly encapsulates the warm and sunny spring of 1997, this is the tune. Ama's warm vocals brought an additional something to the Randy Crawford song, and it sold bucketloads. It'll be a fixture in these lists for some weeks to come. Ama is something of a one-year wonder, her 1999 follow-up didn't do much in the UK, though turned her into a large star in France. Does that make her the soul equivalent of Tina Arena? Perhaps. We should also note that the Young Mel B in the video clip to Mama, down at 15, was played by Sadie Ama, Shola's sister, and subsequently a singer in her own right.

(More: a blow-by-blow account of Hamilton and Hamilton versus Bell, the end of the Fugees, and Song 2 at 2.)

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Two Songs a Week

18April

Starting with a couple of pieces of economics. William Rees-Mogadon on how to push up house prices. Hamish McRae, meanwhile, discusses inflation. He looks to be the first person to question the canard that Gordon Brown's instruction to the Bank of England may be questionable. Focussing on a single (and flawed) measure of inflation is simplistic. What matters are the general inflationary pressures in the economy and, beyond that, the threat to economic stability that inflationary psychology creates. Ah, but a single number is easy to sell to the innumerate public, an early indication of Labour's obsession with performance targets. It does surprise us that there's been so little criticism of the Bank's terms of operation.

Hitwise works out that politicians trawling for votes on Myspace is a waste of time - the people who frequent ballot boxes wouldn't be seen dead on a Murdoch site.

And speaking of people who might be dead because of a Murdoch shite, The First Post claims that the Iran 15 were captured while filming for Wok TV.

Behind the scenes at ITV's boxing coverage with Jim Rosenthal.

Martin Belam on The Beatles' 1987 CD reissue programme, and how it, er, failed to set the charts on fire. Indeed, it barely singed the lower reaches of the top 40.

Still in the world of nostalgia, Brig alerts us to Star Test appearing on the cable version of 4OD. Cheers, sir. Bet they won't include the 1992 spin-off series where politicians of the day sat in front of the computer, only to be interrupted by the Disembodied Voice of Feedback's Chris Dunkley, asking seriously personal questions. Ten bonus points for anyone who can recall the name of this show. Doubled for any channel cheeky enough to bring it back.

Charlie Brooker on the evilitude of spoilers. It's time to classify the divulging of spoilers as a criminal act. Not a major one - let's not overreact - but a minor offence, punishable by having half a finger lopped off. And fried in a pan in front of you. And then you have to eat it. That seems reasonable. Hmm. Makes our traditional response - having a bat stuffed up your nightshirt - seem quite reasonable.

We're confused as to why there should be such a stock-in-trade of Bits Of Last Week's The Now Show. Not because it's completely unfunny - the programme certainly has its moments, and last week's was one of the rare half-hours that were consistently good. No, the source of our confusion is the presence of The Now Show Podcast, a version of the programme made freely available for all listeners to download and enjoy at their leisure.

We were going to buy and review a copy of Popworld Pulp, the new print magazine from the people who brought you Simon Amstell and the other one. Then it folded after just two editions. So here's a condensed review:

Is it the new Smash Hits? Not yet.

Is it the new Revvolution? Quite possibly.

If it's Wednesday, it's time for another point to Bremspot, and more gushing over Kenickie.

And finally, those of you using the actual website (rather than an RSS aggregator) will have spotted the little search box over in the top left corner. Next thing you know, we'll have one of those modish pictures as our background.

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Miscellany

19April

One from the department of Missing Things By A Week, then. The King's Singers is a male vocal group, originally founded at King's College Cambridge in 1965. Their repetoire tended to be contemporary popular music performed in six-part male vocals, but also included some more traditional choral works.

The group has become one of the most enduring popular music franchises, and many of its performers have constructed decent careers afterwards. Nigel Short, for instance, set up the performance choir Tenebrae; Alastair Thompson moved into academia; and Brian Kay was the darling of Radio 3 until he was axed as part of the network's disastrous Siberian Winter atrophication of 2007.

For our sample track, it's back to 1975, and one of the relatively few singles the group ever released. It's also available on their 1980 album This is The King's Singers, and 2005's Colouring Book. The version of Life on Mars here was arranged and conducted by Chris Walker, produced by Bob Barratt, and written by David Jones.

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Two Songs a Week

20April

L asks after:

Tough, you're getting a radio show. And an old radio show, at that. Radio Active was a spoof of a commercial radio station, back in the days when they did something other than play wall-to-wall chart hits. Even if some of the topical jokes haven't aged too well, many of the other sketches retain their cutting edge after two decades. The series improved as it went on, and the BBC7 repeats are now up to the penultimate series from 1986. Indeed, returning to the original question, this week's episode is the station's trip to the Nice Film Festival.

You can't go wrong with a Constable.

Wasn't there a version of Life on Mars posted here not a million minutes ago?

We're rather appreciating the video-on-demand approach of France 24, the news station broadcasting to the world from Paris. Ten minutes of news at the top and bottom of each hour is enough to keep anyone abreast of what's happening, and individual stories can be watched in any order.

After the cold earlier in the week, I'm going through a brief phase of funny comic strips, yer Garfields and Dilberts and (mostly) Beano.

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Culture

21April

Mme. Royal pledged to stop the culture of excessive personal spending that's grown up at the Elysée over the past dozen years, including €60 per day on herbal teas. M. Sarkozy took time off from polishing his claws to say that it was a good sign that people were afraid of him. It's not entirely clear how this will play with the inhabitants of room 223.

More publications have published their preferred candidates: the Universal Daily Registertab and Torygraph prefer M. Popup. The Arab world is backing neither him nor Mme. Royal. Indeed, most publications are preferring their most obvious candidate.

But with almost 45% of voters saying that they hadn't made up their mind before the final week of the campaign, any two from the top three looked possible. Nothing much happened in the last couple of days of the campaign, and the day before polling is always free of rallies and speeches. All we can do now is wait, watch the waves crash against the sea wall, and the little planks of wood bob up and down, and try to play chess with the returning officer. Even if he keeps beating us while pretending to read the newspaper.

Such is the impatience that some have been trying France Profane's links to online candidate choosers. We found Quel Candidat to be reasonably simple, with questions as follows:

Stage 1: Turkey join the EU; Proportional representation for legislative elections; which layer of government to ditch; President cannot be re-elected.
Stage 2: 35-hour week (keep, reform, ditch, reduce). A global income tax cut. Get rid of strict school catchment areas. Nuclear power. Carbon tax. (Here: Pour = for, Contre = against)
Stage 3: What's responsible for violence (precarious life, immigration, politicians, police, education). What would solve the problem (zero tolerance, regularisation of illegal immigrants, better immigration control, the status quo). Could the police do more. Should other religions celebrate their days. What's to be done about unemployment (reduce hours of work, reduce tax, better regulation, less immigration, higher salaries).
Stage 4: Homosexual marriage. Death penalty. Cannabis. Biggest problem (global warming, terrorism, unemployment, education, health). Retaining subsidies on agriculture.
Stage 5 is questions that are about the person, not politics, but have been referenced by some candidates: How long do you spend on the internet per day. Which film would you see. What music do you listen to. Which television show would you watch. Did Zidane have a reason to head-butt Materazzi? What quality do you admire in others.

Only in France could the election be decided by people's opinions on whether Star Ac is any good! Anyway, we got Dominique Voynet, at a 48% match: . Besancenot and Royal had 40%, Buffet 36%, Bayrou 32%, the next three 24%. So, it's the green candidate for us.

Will she make it into the next round? That's a very hollow laugh from the tower... Okay, okay. Which two candidates will progress into the next round? We will post an almost-live soundfile available as soon as we can after 7pm on Sunday. BBC Radio 4 won't have a programme until two minutes past eight, though France 2's coverage will go out on TV5 from 6.30, and on BBC Parliament from 6.59pm.

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Politics

22April

The enigma is unresolved

Bonjour a toutes, merci pour votre attention. Ici, nous avons un note audial en l'election d'aujourd'hui. Les candidates ont rassamblait, et deux seulement peux progress aux deuxieme etage. Qui est-ils?

Hello to all, thank you for your waiting. Here, we have a note of audio about the election of to-day. The candidates have assembled, and two only may progress to the second stage. Who are they?

22April

The first post-Melodifestival hits appear in Sweden; Anna Ternheim comes in at 4 with Lovers dream and more music for psychotic lovers, and Melanie C is also into the top 20. Cascada's Miracle takes the top spot in France. DJ Ötzi still rules in Germany, where Tokio Hotel's Spring nicht can only make 3, and Timberland / Furtado / Nümberwäng is 4. Lower down the German charts, we note the presence of Boys Aloud, and of a disco cover of Blinded by the light, proving that Manfried Mann's Earth Band is to Germany as the Proclaimers are to the UK. Bouncey and Shakira storm to the top of the Irish list, with the Arctic Monkeys and Neyo also entering the top ten. And there's British talent in Latvia, as Imogen Heap's Just for now comes straight into the top ten airplay chart.

20 re Faf Larage - Ta meuf
19 re Sunrise Avenue - Fairytale gone bad
18 re Fatal Bazooka - Mauvaise foi nocturne
17 13 Calvin Harris - Acceptable in the eighties
16 12 Stacey Ferguson - Glamourous
15 17 Yannick Noah - Aux arbes citoyens
14 11 Ville Valo and Natalia Avelon - Summer wine
13 14 DJ Ötzi - Ein stern
12  9 Justin Numberwang - What goes around
11 10 Alex Gaudino - Destination Calabria
10 16 Beyonce / Shakira - Beautiful liar
 9 NE Timberland et al - Give it to me
 8  8 Gwen Stiffeny - The sweet escape
 7  6 Boys Aloud - Ruby
 6  7 Nelly Furtado - All good things
 5  4 Fray - How to save a life
 4  5 Pet Shop Boys - She's Madonna
 3  2 Nelly Furtado - Say it right
 2  3 Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend
 1  1 Mika - Grace Kelly

Charts

22April

New Fray and Michael Buble come in to the bottom end of the top 75 on downloads. The Wombats, Another Chance, and Sunblock also enter low down, the last is a cover of a Corona song. Just missing the top 40 are Switches (51), Amy Whingebag (50), Siobhan Donaghy (45), and Hanson (44). The dumper beckons for Miss Donaghy, and for Gareth Gates (14-42); Hanson are already out on their own. A grouch for Dan Le Sac and Scroobius Pip, the second best thing to come out of Stanford-le-Hope, who miss a re-entry to the top 40 by one place. Kings of Leon get there instead.

Meck comes into the 40 at 39, with Feels like home. The song doesn't do anything like as well as his chart-topper Thunder in my heart, in spite of being many times better. The guitar sample is from Don't you want me, a top 10 hit for Felix in 1992, and again in 1995. Travis have their first hit in a couple of years, Closer making a quiet debut at 36, but that'll be because the song is quiet. One place higher, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club prove their commitment to being up-to-date with Baby '81. Ocean Colour Scene plodded along for much of the early 90s without any success, but managed to spin their tedious blues rock into major success during the Britpop era. If Oasis hadn't sucked out all the creativity, this lot would have done it. Anyway, they're still churning it out, and I told you so drains our enthusiasm at 34. Just Jack's second pop at manufactured stars finally comes in at 32. Matt from Busted has covered the Primitives' 1988 hit single Crash. Like Hillary Duff's cover a couple of years ago, this was an error; unlike Miss Duff's version, Mr. Willis has a hit single, however minor.

Much as we like to hear people knocking off Supertramp, we have little time for Gym Class Heroes, in at 24. They're - well, doing nothing with their Logical song sample. As one Mika song drops out of the top 20 (Grace Kelly moves 19-22), another takes its place (Love to-day, 32-18). Always good to see Ash in the chart, even though You can't have it all (16) shows a lack of a certain something in the band. Probably the influence of Charlotte. Fray fall out of the top ten after eleven weeks, five of them spent at position 5.

Three records into the top ten this week, starting with The Enemy, a sort-of punk band. Away from here is loud, not particularly clever, and in at 8. Speaking of loud and not clever, Nataaaaaasha Bedingplant moves up to 7. The Arctic Monkeys have one of the least commercial hit singles of the year, and physical sales ensure it climbs from 11 to 2. Nothing is going to topple Bouncey Knowles and Shakira Shakira; the combination of unattractive divs heads up to top the chart.

On the albums, Avril Lavigne hits the top with a work called The Best Damn Thing. Mark Ronson's Version enters at 2, Nine Inch Nails' Year Zero is new at 6, and Tiesto's Elements of Life comes in at 14. Bloc Party's rise is limited to six places, 26-20. We have no idea who is Cortes, but Gardar Thor Cortes lands at 27, four places ahead of Porcupine Tree's Fear of a Blank Planet. The 1991 cast recording from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat re-enters at 52, on the back of Saturday night television. Patti Smith is in at 62 with Twelve.

 2 11 Arctic Monkeys - Brianstorm
 4  3 Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend
 8 52 The Enemy - Away from here
11  7 Fray - How to save a life
16 NE Ash - You can't have it all
18 32 Mika - Love to-day
22 19 Mika - Grace Kelly
26 24 Calvin Harris - Acceptable in the eighties
31 NE Matt Willis - Crash
32 64 Just Jack - Glory days
37 20 Bloc Party - I still remember
38 34 Massimo Park - Our velocity
39 51 Meck - Feels like home
41 46 Dan le Sac / Scroobius Pip - Thou shalt always kill
43 37 Gossip - Standing in the way of control
44 NE Hanson - Go
45 72 Siobhan Donaghy - Don't give it up
47 41 Just Jack - Stars in their eyes
49 50 Pink - Leave me alone
51 NE Switches - Lay down the law
57 21 Muse - Invincible
59 31 Elliot Minor - Parallel worlds
60 39 Kelis - Little star
61 49 Killers - Read my mind
63 29 Nine Inch Nails - Survivalism
71 55 David Bowie - Life on Mars
72 56 Proclaimers - I'm gonna be (500 miles)

Charts

22April

This week, we've been watching and hearing...

* The Bullshit Detective (BBC3), exposing nonsense - crystal healing, the £99 holiday, and energy patches. Would probably work better split into its two constituent half-hour shows.
* Gloria Estefan (RTÉ radio 1), in conversation with the driveltime host who is better than Cliff Evans. That doesn't help, does it?
* Timeatch (BBC2), on the 1970 hi-jackings to Jordan. Bit of a coup to get Leila Khalid on the show, counterpointing with the inevitable reconstruction / actualité.
* Look Away Now (Radio 4), a topical sports comedy show. A bit like Radio 5's The Game's Up, for the two other people who remember Alistair McGowan when he was good.
* The People's Quiz (BBC1) is misnamed.

Media

22April

A series of co-ordinated attacks across Baghdad killed over 160 people on Wednesday. This was the single largest number of deaths on one day since the country was invaded in 2003. In an unrelated attack, thirty-two were killed by a lone gunman at the Virginia University of Technology.

There's political intrigue in two new EU states. Traian Basescu, the president of Romania, has been suspended and charged with acting in a partisan manner. In Europe, this is a dismissable offence. And Marek Jurek, the former Speaker of the Polish parliament, has left the Law and Justice Party to set up his own grouping. Finland unveiled her new cabinet; the Centre-Right-Swede coalition contains twelve women in charge of 20 ministries.

A report by the Drug Policy Commission determined that the UK had the highest level of substance abuse in Europe. The report was rejected by the government, as it does not fit in with its worldview.

The police concluded their investigation into the cash for peerages scandal. On Friday, four officers delivered crates containing 216 (count 'em!) documents to the Crown Prosecution Service. It's not expected that charges will be laid before polling in local elections on 3 May, and probably not before Mister Blair re-announces his intention to resign six days later.

Australia has suddenly realised that its main irrigation rivers, the Darling and Murray, are almost dry. If the coming winter's rains fail, the government will have to impose draconian restrictions on agricultural abstraction of water. This comes after prime minister John Howard personally vetoed the Kyoto treaty to reduce carbon dioxide emissions.

Poland and Ukraine will host the 2012 European Nations' Cup final tournament. The joint bid was preferred to one featuring Hungary and Croatia, and a standalone bid from Italy. It's the first time that the tournament will be co-hosted by two sides that would probably qualify anyway.

Fourth-division side Montceau-les-Mines left the French Cup at the semi-final stage, but only after holding Sochaux to a 0:0 draw in 90 minutes. The top-flight team eventually won 2:0 in the extra half-hour.

Obituaries this week include two throwbacks to political eras that seem further back than they are: Robert Jones, a minister in the Major government; and Ladislav Adamec, the last Communist prime minister of Czechoslovakia. Also Dick Vosburgh, comedy writer who will be particularly remembered for The Two Ronnies musical numbers.

News

22April

The high pressure continued to dominate, as it has done all month, leaving warm sunshine in its wake. The little wind came from the north, ensuring that nights tended to be cool, and hence taking the edge off temperatures by day.

16 Mo haze              10/18
17 Tu sun                6/14
18 We sun                6/14
19 Th sun                1/18
20 Fr sun                4/17
21 Sa sun                5/18
22 Su sunny spells       6/18

Rainfall in April: 0.5mm; monthly average: 64.6mm
Degree heating days: 511
2005-6: 683/684
2004-5: 555½/556
2003-4: 744/754

Degree cooling days: 5
2006: 0/360
2005: 0/238
2004: 0/198
2003: 10/328

We've re-worked the DHD and DCD days, based on full information from Birmingham Airport, rather than information from a variety of sources. We propose that a DHD count of 500 marks an overall mild winter; one of 600 is around average; 700 marks a harsh winter; 800 a very cold one. For summers, our rule of thumb is: 150 a cold summer, 200 an average one, 250 a memorable heatwave, 300 uncomfortably hot.

The first significant rainfall of the month is expected to-night, as a deep depression passes over Iceland, swinging some long fronts over the UK. These should pass by Tuesday, and there will be more cloud and rain in northern and western parts.

Weather