The Snow In The Summer or So-So
Week of 12 March 2007
12March
Ten years ago, the jury in the Grobbelgaate (©WSC 1994) match fixing trial was been discharged after it could not agree a verdict. Deng Xiaoping died aged 92. The BBC dropped Danny Baker from his phone in show on Radio 5 Live; he has been rude to his audience and football referees. Robin Cook attacked the xenophobia of Michael Portillo and John Redwood, claiming it bred racism. The Grate British Public picked Katrina and the Waves for the Eurovision Song Contest, in a show hosted by Dale Winton.
| Number One | Mama/ Who do you think you are?- Spice Girls - 1st week | |
|---|---|---|
| Second Highest new entry | Rumble in the jungle- Fugees - number 3 | |
| Fastest climber (within top 40) | Encore une fois- Sash! - up 0 to 4 | Alone- Bee Gees - up 0 to 5 |
| Fastest climber (within top 75) | Knocking on heaven's door- Dunblane - up 10 to 44 | |
| Lemming-like fall (within top 40) | The holy river- Prince - down 16 to 35 | |
| Lemming-like fall (within top 75) | Last night- Az Yet - down 29 to 75 |
Debuting at 11 was Monaco, the side-project of Peter Hook while New Order was on a break. They only released the one album, and people only remember the one single, but what a wonderful single it was. What do you want from me?
sounded like the right kind of 60s nostalgia, all sha-la-las and major chords.
(More: BBC4 be damned. This was the real 1997, and no DOG top left 985 words)
13March
The Conservatives have proposed altering the tax structure on aeroplane flights. Ideas include adding VAT to internal flights, charging fuel duty to flights within the UK, and altering the base upon which passenger duty is levied. Much of the press attention has concentrated on the end-game, a personal carbon allowance, to allow a certain distance (perhaps 2000km) per person per year at a lower tax rate, with a higher tarrif for flights over that limit. That proposal is predicated on a complex personal carbon allowance system, and is a long-term aspiration.
As an interim measure, the Conservatives say that they want to tax the flight, rather than the passenger. This makes an awful lot of sense, as it's the presence of the aeroplane rather than the passenger that is the root cause of the carbon dioxide emissions. It makes particular sense when we recall how many planes spend much of the day scuttling about half-full. May we propose a reasonably simple formulation to this end.
1) Levy a flat charge per passenger seat for each aeroplane landing at a UK airport. For the sake of argument, say this is £10. It is to be paid by the passenger on the seat they occupy, and by the airline on seats that are empty.
2) Then levy a variable charge, with three elements: the distance travelled on the flight, the capacity of the 'plane, and the cleanliness of the aeroplane. Clean 'planes might be charged at 1p per passenger per km; older and dirtier 'planes might be charged at 3p per passenger per km. Multiply these three factors together, and charge to the airline. It will then be for the airline to adjust its own prices, or substitute smaller and/or cleaner aircraft, so that it can recoup this tax.
(More: A worked example - 796 words)
We note that most other EU countries charge VAT on their internal flights; it would surely be possible for the union to agree to charge that tax on all flights within the EU, regardless of whether they cross national boundaries. Similarly, it would be possible for the EU to agree to levy fuel duties on all its internal flights. Both measures would push up the cost of within-EU flights by a non-trivial amount.
Nothing suggested here would stop people from having their one holiday per year, the main gripe against the plans rumoured so far. They would act as a disincentive to the frequent flyers, perhaps reducing unneccesary travel for business, or cutting people's short breaks from four to three per year. At this stage, curbing the growth is a necessary (though not sufficient) condition to reduce carbon emissions.
14March
Geoffrey Wheatcroft posits that Michael Levy is going to be the scapegoat because he is jewish. Balderdash. If Mr. Levy is to have his reputation run into the ground - and the police, never mind the jury, is still out on that one - it will not be because of his links with The GOD Organisation. No, it'll be because he has behaved in a criminal manner, adding Selling Peerages to his long list of criminal records. He should have stopped with the complete back catalogue of Alvin Stardust.
Data Mining reveals that G****e mail Doesn't Work. The privacy-sapping messaging system is trying to surpress text that might have been seen before, but is completely botching the job. The correct answer, of course, is to eschew G****e mail, and use a proper email system that doesn't steal other people's messages and add them to a huge information corpus.
Martin Belam, meanwhile, wonders who regulates G****e adverts? In theory, it's the Advertising Standards Authority, or OFCOM, but would these domestic authorities cut the mustard with the insular Washingtonnes?
What what what? Apparently, there are still backwards countries where it is a disciplinary offence to encourage police to tape-record interviews with suspects. Do these people have no intention of preventing abuses of power? It's an open book for coercion, torture, and generalised lying.
Marcel Berlins is unhappy about the looming casino advertising. Why can't the government be honest in this area? Because a) it's the New Labour government, congenitally incapable of telling the truth about anything; and b) it's advertisers, a group of people who make M. Kahn look straight.
Het Grauniad investigates how Lidl breaks the law and cares not a jot for its staff. We've never set foot in one of their stores, and don't expect to.
Yet again, Matt Howie caves in to legal threats from people purporting to represent Thomas "Tom" Cruise Mapother. Quite why Mr. Mapother doesn't want any discussion of genetic abnormalities he may or may not have is entirely beyond us.
The Atlantic Lottery of Canada finds its retailers are ten times luckier than expected. This is prima facie evidence that the system there is corrupt. Can other operators honestly claim that everything is above board?
15March
Chart-watchers across Europe will be paying close attention to the new Danish singles listing to-morrow, for a piece of chart history looks set to be made. Since its first release at the beginning of 2005, Trine Dyrholm's song Avenuen
(Mr Nice Guy
) has been ever-present in the top 30 in Denmark. Though it took a couple of months to establish itself in the upper echelons of the slow-moving chart, Avenuen
reached the top in June 2005, and stayed there. And stayed there some more. The country's biggest seller in 2005 retained its title in 2006, and managed to spend the majority of the year at number one.
It is actually quite difficult to figure out the attraction of the song on first listen, though it should become clear in time. There are some close harmonies, a rather nice DESH effect, some minor fifths and augmented sevenths, and that always sounds good to us. Whether we'd want this song - or any song - to spend a non-consecutive calendar year as the national best-seller is another matter.
Yes, to-morrow's Danish chart should see Avenuen
spend it's 52nd week (yes, one complete year) at the number one position. This feat has never before been achieved in any European chart; indeed, Trine has left Elton John's record of 45 weeks at number one in Canada for dead.
15March
Q: When did the Soup Dragons release their first single.
Guess: Oh, they were mentioned in Smash Hits before it went crap, so I'd say... 1987.
TV Scoop argues that the BBC should bring back Star Academy
. Only if they're really going to throw the kitchen sink at it, and make it into proper event television like they do in France. Having Richard "Dogsby" Park and Patrick "Cretin" Kielty is not enough. Make it proper light entertainment gubbins, so that the proverbial glitter comes out of the set and Strictly Come Prancing
pales into insignificance.
TV Scoop also pays tribute to Buffy the Vampire Slayer
, ten years after its original broadcast. Though it was a groundbreaking series, for all the reasons outlined, it's a surprise to remember just how rubbish many of the individual episodes were. Season two, in particular, falls off a cliff about half-way through and never recovers. The whole Adam-and-Riley thing, that was pure, unadorned crap. Gloria, mildly diverting, but spinning out a six-episode plot over a whole series doesn't work. And the last half of the final series should never have been made. One of m'learned friends never got into Buffy
first time round, and got bored half-way through season two. My advice? Skip to season three; if that doesn't work, give up, and give up with a clear conscience.
We're sorry to see that Mighty Big TV has sold out, first removing a forum about some quarter-bit nonsense, then selling the site to the channel running that nonsense. It was fun while it lasted, though some of us said that it stopped being fun when it stopped being MBTV.
It's now two weeks since SKY's entirely rubbish channels were withdrawn from three million cable viewers across the nation, and we're able to see how the viewing figures have altered. If lots of people have gone missing, that suggests the channel's provider was correct in its claim that the channels were really popular. But if there's little change, it adds weight to the cable operator's position that no-one gives a flying buttress about it.
(More: the details on how few people actually see SKY television)
16March
Vodex mentions information-revolution.org, a site with a marketing budget big enough to smear itself over the Palace of Westminster, yet puny enough to fly completely under our radar. (No shocks there: our advertising blindness is such that we've bumped into the equivalent of mile-high travel towers before now.)
Who is this site? Or, to be precise, whois this site:
(More, including the site's links to government propaganda. 573 words)
17March
...and you hear the beep, just think of the lives you could be ruining at a supermarket cheap.
Regular correspondent Quirks followed up our previous post mentioning Lidl's evilitude.
Would it be unreasonable to assume that Aldi is similar to Lidl, and therefore a shop I should avoid?
Well, Herr Bsirske of Verdi, a German trade union says ya. The people of Switzerland suggest that Aldi discriminates on price, not quality. Employees write about forced unpaid overtime and no life. We can reasonably conclude that Aldi keeps its prices low by skimping on its employees' quality of life.
Alas, this probably leaves me with the choice of Iceland, Somerfield and Waitrose. The latter is far more expensive than I am comfortable with, the former two probably have questionable records...
Waitrose ranks highly, Somerfield is making some more questionable decisions, Iceland (the company) ranks somewhere in the middle. More: ethical consumer.
Does our resident local deity have anything to say about one's choice of shop?
Ashton Vale writes: I knew you'd be back.
You have the evidence, and we've provided you with the moral framework. If, on considering the totality of the situation, you believe you can afford to patronise a more ethical store, then that would be a solution. However, if there is not one in the vicinity, or you cannot afford to do all your consumerising there, then that would also feed into your solution.
Not all gods go in for this self-sacrifice lark, but the hedonistic tendencies of Bacchus are more extreme than most gods. It's a trade-off between moral goodness and material concerns, and the shape of each person's curve will be different. And covered by the client-deity confidentiality clause, natch.
18March
We will, of course, begin the review in Denmark, where Trine Dyrholm's Avenuen
is number one for the 52nd week. All hail!
DJ Ötzi remains at the top in Germany, but Nelly Furtado's Say it right
comes straight in at number 2. Monrose's second single, Even heaven cries
, can only make number 7, showing the very limited power of the casting show these days. Die Fantastischen Vier have a new entry at position 12. Fatal Bazooka takes over the top spot in France, performing Mauvaise foi nocturne
. There are top ten entries for Tryo (Desole pour hier soir
), Nelly Furtado (All good things
) and Mylene Farmer (Deshabillez-moi
).
A new number one in Sweden; last week's topper from Âvril Lavïgne slumps to position 25. The Ark take the top spot, with their Eurovision entry The worrying kind
, ahead of Sebastian, Mâns Zelmerlöw, and Sonya Aldén. Andreas Johnson, Marie Lindberg, Sarah Dawn Finer, and Sanna Nielsen all move into the top ten from their Melodifestival success; indeed, nine of the top ten are from the ESC eliminator.
Laura Lynn comes straight in at number 3 in Flanders, performing Vlinders in je buik
. Mika holds on to the top in Ireland, with 21 Demands coming straight in to number 2 with Give me a minute
. We're also not familiar with Scuba Dice's Holiday
(8), and suspect David O'Connor (20) has a cover of Don't look back in anger
. Fifteen (count 'em!) new entries in Finland's top 20, headed by Tuonelan koivut
, performed by Kotiteollisuus. It looks like seven of the newies are a record of the Sakara tour from 2006, undertaken by Mokoma, Rytmihäiriö, and Stam1na.
20 12 Clitring Aguilera - Hurt 19 NE Hoehner - Wenn micht jetzt wenn damn? 18 9 Just Jack - Stars in their eyes 17 NE Killers - Read my mind 16 NE Justin Numberwang - What goes around 15 17 Take That - Shine 14 13 View - Same jeans 13 14 DJ Ötzi - Ein stern 12 8 Boys Aloud - Ruby 11 10 Ville Valo and Natalia Avelon - Summer wine 10 NE Cascada - Miracle 9 15 Sunrise Avenue - Fairytale gone bad 8 11 Kelis - Little star 7 7 Gwen Stiffeny - The sweet escape 6 6 Gossip - Standing in the way of control 5 3 Fray - How to save a life 4 5 Pet Shop Boys - She's Madonna 3 4 Nelly Furtado - Say it right 2 1 Nelly Furtado - All good things 1 2 Mika - Grace Kelly
Hoehner's is the upbeat theme to the recent handball world cup, held in Germany. Killers and Numberwang should be familiar to most readers, while Cascada's is more of the same Europap. After six weeks in the runner-up spot, Mika takes over at number one, ending Nelly's thirteen-week run.
18March
| Number One (and HNE) | Walk this way- Sugababes / Council Estate Slappers - 1st week |
|---|---|
| Second Highest new entry | I'm gonna be (500 miles)- Proclaimers / Brian Potter / Andy Pipkin - number 3 |
| Fastest climber (within top 40) | Last night- Puff Daddy / Keysha Cole - up 16 to 14 Keep your hands off my girl- Good Charlotte - up 16 to 23 |
| Fastest climber (within top 75) | (as above) |
| Lemming-like fall (within top 40) | Saturday superhouse- Biffy Clyro - down 23 to 36 |
| Lemming-like fall (within top 75) | North American scum- LCD Soundsystem - down 28 to 68 |
Missing the 40 this week: Hillary Duff and Jamie Morrison land in the 60s (by position if not performance); Kings of Leon and Nathan make it to 49 and 44 respectively. Green Dull's Good riddance
was (apparently) performed on Celeb Star Ac last week, and lands at 67.
Minor success for the leading release from The Rakes' second album. It's beaten by a re-activation of The Proclaimers Ah woot walk fife hunnret mile
. Originally a hit in 1988, we've remarked in the past how it's one of the more consistent sellers on downloads, joining the likes of Angels
and Iris
. Some suggest that people are downloading it after confusing it with a charity version; we reckon that a significant driver is a simple fact: The Original Is Still The Best.
Pink is trying a download-only single; that it's only this high after three weeks suggests they may as well give up. Good Shoes and Twang are very up-and-coming bands, though only the latter has screeching guitars. Massimo Park are also on second-album nervousness, while the latest Fratellis song sounds a little too much like the other two. Or was it three? Mediocre Matilda and Paulo Nutini make big climbs to land just outside the top 20.
Crystal Waters returns with a rather tedious bass-dance song at 18. Puff Daddy has another big climb at 14, and Calvin Harris barges his way into the top ten.
Take That drop from the top to 4. New at 3 is another version of I'm gonna be
, performed by The Proclaimers, Brian Potter, Andy Pipkin. We have no idea who the other two are. Gwen Stiffeny climbs back up to number 2, but Sugababes and Council Estate Slappers' version of Walk this way
comes in at number 1. It's worth noting that four of the last five Comic Relief number ones (Boyzone in 99, Westlife in 01, Gagagagareth in 03) have been cover versions, and all have been pisspoor.
X-Fools contestants Ray Quinn and Ben Mills land at 1 and 3 on the albums list, with Simply Red new at 4. A slightly poor performance from Joss Stone, only making number 12. Big plummets for Arcade Fire (2-17) and Bryan Ferry (5-22). LCD Soundsystem makes it into the top 30, with the greatest hits of Bonnie Tyler, and the new album from Within Temptation, landing in the 40.
5 5 Fray - How to save a life 7 6 Mika - Grace Kelly 10 17 Calvin Harris - Acceptable in the eighties 12 8 Kelis - Little star 13 9 Gossip - Standing in the way of control 24 NE Fratellis - Baby fratelli 25 15 Lily Allen - Alfie 26 21 Killers - Read my mind 27 18 Just Jack - Stars in their eyes 30 NE Massimo Park - Our velocity (19MAR) 32 NE Twang - Wide awake (19MAR) 34 NE Good Shoes - Never meant to hurt you 35 43 Pink - Leave me alone 37 re Proclaimers - I'm gonna be (500 miles) 38 NE Rakes - We danced together 39 32 Jojo - Too little too late 43 33 View - Same jeans 47 46 Nelly Furtado - All good things 50 27 Enter Shikari - Anything can happen in the next half hour 52 52 Fratellis - Chelsea dagger 56 44 Junior Jack - Stupidisco 59 55 Ghosts - Stay the night (19MAR) 60 NE Hillary Duff - With love 62 57 Razorlight - America 65 58 Snore Patrol - Open your eyes 66 45 Regina Spektor - Fidelity 72 74 Arcade Fire - Keep the car running .. 23 Madness - Sorry .. 37 Get Cape Wear Cape Fly - I spy .. 54 Pigeon Detectives - Romantic type .. 59 Fratellis - Whistle for the choir .. 61 Maccabees - About your dress .. 66 Linkin Park - Numb / Encore .. 67 Fratellis - Flathead .. 72 Bloc Party - The prayer
18March
This week, we've been watching...
* The Trap
(BBC2) Adam Curtis's exploration of how the ramblings of a paranoid schizophrenic came to dominate fashionable thinking. It is amazingly worrying how mathematics is such a black art that people are prepared to trust it more than their own judgement; and ditto models of life.
* University Challenge
(BBC2) another week, another goodie.
* Are We There Yet?
(BBC2) Bloody London.
* Never Mind the Full Stops
(BBC4) Even Susie Dent can't save the show.
* The Day Today
(BBC4) Bomb dogs.
* 1997 Week
(BBC4) Too much Mark Lawson, too much nonsense, and a really banal DOG. And Mark Lawson. Highlight: Top of the Pops 1997. Bring it back, already!
* Kyle XY
(Trouble) Not worth the candle.
* Skins
(E4) Revenge, they say, is a dish best served cold, with tomato sauce on top.
... and listening to...
* Lingua Franca
(RN) on torture, coercion, and hearsay. Transcript.
* Feedback
(R4), with an interesting discussion on the practicalities of putting a stage play on the wireless, and a singularly incompetent display from Radio 3's incomptroller Roger Wrong about the messageboards. In his infinite lack-of-wisdom, Mr. Wrong believes that the boards exist solely to service the programmes. This is incorrect, but if he wishes for the audience to take their custom elsewhere, we are sure that they will.
After a month, it's probably time to review the plus and minus points of the new Radio 3 schedule.
Plus points:
* Rob Cowan on breakfast. He's not Lauren Laverne, but he's better than any other BBC presenter.
* The Essay, a fifteen-minute thinkpiece that deserves a podcast.
Minus points:
* Losing the afternoon programmes. Particularly Stage and Screen
and The Light Programme
, shows that simply don't exist elsewhere on the BBC or on commercial stations. A clear case of failure to act in the public service.
* Evening concerts are no longer live. This makes them sound sterile and samey, and ensures that they are no longer event radio.
* Starting the concert recordings at 7pm is a poor step.
* Late Junction
may as well have been cancelled for all the times we'll hear it at 11.15.
* The demise of Mixing It
, made all the more painful by Mr. Wrong's revelation that it's now going out on an arts station in central London. Newsflash: some of us don't live in the 0171 dialling area, making this worse than useless.
* The end of Lebrecht Live
, by far the most coherent arts discussion programme.
* Words and Music
, a poetry-and-tunes programme, should be right up our street. The early shows have been poorly engineered. We hope that this changes.
It is abundantly clear that Mr. Wrong has completely and utterly botched his reforms. He is quite clearly promoting the narrow sectional interests of the snobs who equate culture with classical music, and letting those of us who adopt a wider definition go hang. It is time for him to step down and stop ruining a decent broadcast network.
18March
To the surprise of no-one, Jacques Chirac announced his retirement last Sunday. He declined to endorse any candidate in this year's Presidentielle.
Israel recalled her ambassador to El Salvador, after he was found in the street, drunk, and wearing only bondage gear.
The National Health Service's Coughs and Sneezes Spread Diseases squad has been at Neustraßebahnhof this week, handing out tissues to commuters.
A kangaroo court in occupied Cuba has heard a claim from a man who says he was behind the 2001 crimes against humanity. This man was kidnapped in 2003, and has been charged by no lawful authority. It is not immediately clear what tortures have been used during his four years of illegal detention, and a fair trial would dismiss this document as a work of fantasy. See also: Craig Murray; Blairwatch; Niall Ferguson.
In Zimbabwe, agents of the Mugabe regime inflicted a severe beating on opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai, leaving him in intensive care in hospital for some days. As ever, the international washed its hands of the incident, supporting the racist and corrupt dictator.
The British government confirmed that the 2012 Crass Spectacle will cost over £9 milliard (€13,5 milliard), over three times the original estimate. Arts funding and the taxpayers of London will make up most of the shortfall. The funding gap was announced by Tessa Jowell, a woman who famously failed to check mortgage documents on her own house.
A coroner's court in Oxford has found that the death of a British soldier in Iraq was unlawful. Matthew Matty Hull was attacked from the air by FARCE pilots. The coroner stated that he believed the full facts of the case, which took place during the illegal attacks on Iraq during 2003, had yet to come to light. The FARCE took one look at this verdict and closed ranks, protecting the murderers from any form of actual justice.
The highest court in the UK, the House of Lords, determined that compensation paid to prisoners who have been wrongly convicted should be reduced to take account of expenses they would have had to pay had they been free. This is an extremely arguable point of law, and it is not entirely clear that the Lords have ruled accurately. Morally, however, their claim has absolutely no foundation, and it brings extreme shame upon the four people who voted for it.
In sport, Pakistan was eliminated from the cricket world cup at the qualifying group phase. The side lost to the host West Indies, and then managed to lose to Ireland, a side playing in its first world cup. Bangladesh beat India, a result that might eliminate India from the contest. New Zealand beat England, and a number of minnows were beaten in more normal circumstances.
Rugby's Six Nations championship ended. France won the title after beating Scotland 46:19. Ireland finished second on points-difference (and just four points there) following a 51:24 victory in Italy. Wales beat England, 27:18, and leaves the wooden spoon in Scottish hands on points difference.
The biathlon season ends. The women's overall title went to Andrea Henkl, beating Kati Wilhelm by seven points, and Anna-Karin Olofsson by ten. The men's title was won by Michael Greis - the cross-country exploits of Bjoerndalen ensured that he could not win the biathlon title.
18March
When M. la Boulle rang the bell to close of nominations last Friday, eleven candidates were assured of a place on the ballot paper, with a twelfth requiring further scrutiny. 500 nominations from mayors, councillors, or nationa assembly members were required.
Those candidates in full:
It was not immediately clear if M. Bové had secured a complete set of 500 signatures. The Conseil will meet on Monday to scrutinise his documents, and possibly challenge him to a match of holding the paper bird until it burns. If he can stand, he will become the twelfth candidate, scouring the country for votes ahead of the election on 22 April.
The Sondage du Sondages consistently shows a small first-round lead for M. Popup (around 27%) over Mme. Royal (25%), with M. Bayrou (22%) a little further back. The tête-a-têtes favour Bayrou over Popup by a clear margin, Popup over Royal by a squeak, and no clear winner in a Bayrou-Royal match. Of the minor candidates: M. Le Pen 12%, M. Besancenot 4%, M. Bové 2%, Mme. Buffet 2%, Mme. Laguiller 1,5%, Mme. Voynet 1,5%, M. de Villiers 1%, M. Nihous 0,5%.
18March
The settled weather continued for much of the week, bringing sunny days. Tey weren't particularly warm, though, as the nights were cold. High pressure over Scandinavia brought a sharp blast from the north on Sunday, with strong winds some squally soft ice showers.
12 Mo cloud 7/12 13 Tu sunny spells 0/12 14 We sun to cloud 1/13 15 Th cloud 3/11 16 Fr sun to cloud 0/10 17 Sa cloud to sun 3/13, 2.0 18 Su sleet showers, sun 6/ 8, 1.5
Rainfall in March: 57mm; monthly average: 52.3mm.
Degree heating days: 448½
2005-6: 731/808
2004-5: 611/677½.
The strong northerly winds will continue on Monday, easing off on Tuesday; wintry showers are possible in all areas, and will be worst on north-facing coasts. Slightly warmer air will move in from the south-west during Wednesday, with rain following on Thursday. Next week-end looks cooler than we've become accustomed to, but warmer than the coming week, so do wrap up.
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