Another song from 1987, this time a good deal more obscure.
In the beginning, 1964 to be precise, Petula Clarke sang a pretty little ditty about the nightlife of a large city, and called it Downtown
. It was a remarkale hit, and set up a career that she carefully nurtured for many years. In the mid-80s, CBBC presenter Phillip Schofield invited his young viewers to send in pictures of themselves out and about, and played them to the sounds of Pet.
Up in their secret lair in the wilds of Scotland, Dr. Drummond and his sarcastic sidekick Cautie were working on a christmas single to sweep away the saccharine glitter and pronounced tedium of the 70s standards, and replace it with something a little less - well, naff. The potion was based on the beats and part of the chorus from Downtown
, added in some of the bassline from Harold Faltermeyer's recording of Axel F
, and liberally garnished with a serving of gospel from the London Community Choir.
Topping it all off is Dr. Drummond's painfully honest description of poverty, homelessness, and social exclusion - all calling cards for the failed Red Wedge movement, though presented here without the tedious presence of Billy Bragg. Down town
was awarded Single of the Week by the NME, slated by Record Mirror, and loved by John Peel. It served to further the duo's plans for world domination.
But it wasn't the christmas single that would sweep away the saccharine glitter and pronounced tedium of the 70s classics. Someone else had beaten them to the punch, ensuring that Down town
(KLF / Hatch) would only become a minor indie chart hit, while Shane Magowan would replace the hackneyed old stuff with the pronounced tedium of something that rolls around every blimmin' year. Without Fairytale of CENSORED
, Dr. Drummond and Cautie wouldn't have come up with the last word in novelty records. Don't like Doctoring the TARDIS
? Blame Shane!
The final word in this tale goes to Petula Clarke, whose Downtown
was re-issued for December 1988, with the addition of a particularly annoying and offensive drum-beat. It went top ten, thus proving there really is no justice.
