Finance minister Gordon Brown launched a new computer system for the stock exchange, and said that the UK was not likely to join the European single currency. Shadow finance minister Peter Lilley (he's dead silly) said that Mr. Brown had issued a series of contradictory briefings. The CBI and TUC both said the government should rule nothing out, Jacques Santer said Britain would miss the benefits of being on a winning team, and Leon Brittan criticised the government's position. Mr. Brown promised that his policy would be clearly spelt out in a statement to the Commons next week.

Michael Stone was charged with the murders of Lynn and Megan Russell. The Conservative party held a bonding session, to which Mr. Stephen Dorrell arrived in one of Gyles Brandreth's old jumpers. Four Labour MEPs were suspended after refusing to sign a document saying they wouldn't criticise party policy. The Commonwealth Heads of Government summit began in Edinburgh. The annual October shivers hit the stock market, started by uncertainty in Occupied Hong Kong. Zimbabwe's government threatened to seize land owned by whites, and referred compensation to the UK; the British development secretary Clare Short had just written a snotty letter that was interpreted in Harare as an abrogation of treaty obligations.

Irish presidential candidate Mary McAleese denied having sympathy for Sinn Féin. Former Cambodian agrarianist Pol Pot claimed that his conscience was clear, and that the four million deaths during his rule were all due to the actions of Vietnamese agents; this explanation was accepted by the Yankees, but not by the liberation forces of Blue Peter under Wing-Commander Groom. Algeria staged local elections, but opposition parties cried fraud. Italy became the eighth country to sign up to the Schengen Accord. Jacques Villeneuve was crowned Formula One champion after almost being barged off the track by Michael Schumacher.

Guests on Have I Got News For You were Bob Monkhouse and Ken Livingstone. BBC-1's Saturday night highlight was "German Week", an episode of Are You Being Served? that hadn't been seen in over twenty years.

UK Singles Chart for w/c 25 October 2007

Number One	Barbie girl - Aqua - 1st week (Number 777 in seq.)
Highest new entry	Party people ... Friday night - 911 - number 5
Fastest climber (within top 40)	Barbie girl - Aqua - up 1 to 1
Fastest climber (within top 75)	(as above)
Lemming-like fall	Burning wheel - Belle and Sebastian - down 38 to 55
Top 40 debuts	Roy Davis Jr Featuring Peven Everett, Fatboy Slim, Scott Garcia Featuring MC Styles, KRS One, Laguna, Natural Born Chillers
Top 40 exits	Black Grape, Scott Garcia Featuring MC Styles, Laguna, Natural Born Chillers
Top 75 debuts	Roy Davis Jr Featuring Peven Everett, Scott Garcia Featuring MC Styles, Laguna, Natural Born Chillers, Nalin And Kane, Pizzicato Five, Revival 3000
Top 75 exits	2K, DJ Flavours, Nuyorican Soul, Pizzicato Five, Revival 3000, Lalo Schiffrin

Something of a stasis in the charts this week; though there were 26 new entries into the top 75, and 18 into the top 40, none of this week's releases made it as high as Division III in the all-time league table. So much so that we're not going to put up any of this week's hits, and are casting around for related records. Pizzicato Five made 72 with Mon amour Tokyo, and Deep Dish hit 60 with Stranded - the group would come back in 2004 with the very much larger groove Flashdance. Tindersticks entered at 56 with Rented rooms; the Nottingham group had had their only top 40 hit in June, and are still turning out their doom-laden work. Art-rockers Death In Vegas had Rocco at 51, their commercial breakthrough came in 2000 with Aisha and Dirge.

Bush put Bone driven in at 49, it's the standard Bush song, and we can see why the group has not made the top 40 since. Doesn't stop Swallowed from being a top track, mind. Dance duo Nalin and Kane had Beachball at 48 - a re-release a year later would make 17, Revival 3000 put The mighty high at 47, and Changing Faces proclaimed I got somebody else at 42. Lagnua had Spiller from Rio (do it easy) at 40, and Byron Stingily did Sing a song at 38. He was the vocalist with Ten City, and had a couple of top ten hits with them in 1989; his solo highlight was a cover of You make me feel (mighty real), number 13 in January 1998. We thought about uploading Radio Active's Sing a song, a 1981 parody of Wings, but thought better of it.

Fatboy Slim didn't know it, but his future wife was already annoying the Kevin Greening fanclub by existing on his breakfast show. The single, Everybody needs a 303, was his first top 40 hit under that cognomen, but it wouldn't be until next June's Rockafeller skank that he'd grace the top 10. That began a run of six top-ten hits, including the 1999 number one Praise you, and Sunset (bird of prey), the record Most Shipped To Stores in a week when Steps, Samantha Mumba, and Moby all had new releases. Fatboy made 9, and he's not really had a hit since. He did try, 2005's The Joker had lots of kittens in the video, and we're only not bringing you the audio because the video's the best bit.

Natural Born Chillers had Rock the funky beat at 30, Scott Garcia shouted It's a London thing over and over at 29, and Depeche Mode passed judgement on that record at 28, calling it Useless. It was the fourth and final single from the album, and they wouldn't have another hit until 2001's Dream on made number 6. Ver Mode have, of course, been covered on every Scala album, and we're waiting to hear what they made of the songs on 2005's Playing The Angel, because they were just crying out for a chorus of sixty teenage girls. Do we provide something more from Scala? No; brilliant as they are, three tracks in a year is enough.

Flop comeback was for Black Grape, whose Get higher could only make 24. The group, a spin-off of the Happy Mondays, had had top ten hits in 1995 with Reverend black grape and In the name of the father, and England's Irie would have been the song for Euro 96 if the official anthem hadn't been so - well - anthemic. The group was a one-year wonder, and trying to spin the novelty into a second album was a fool's errand. Second single Marbles lost it at 46, and the group disbanded.

Roy Davis Junior put Gabriel in at 22; no, us neither. Puff Daddy was in Follow That! territory with Been around the world. His previous single, I'll be missing you, had spent six weeks at number one, twelve weeks in the top 10, and was only now dropping out of the top 40. It would have been the best-seller of the year, if it wasn't for that pesky Elton John. The newie was more typical of his hard-on rap music, and though it had something of a commercial edge, could only make number 20. Career highlight for Hurricane #1, as the re-release of Step into my world made 19; the original release had peaked ten places lower at the start of May.

Diana King had a number 2 hit in summer 1995 with Shy guy, and a cover of Ain't nobody made 13 that autumn. Coming after a two-year break, her version of I say a little prayer was entertaining reggae, though rather vapid in execution. It's good, but not quite good enough to be included. Charlatans' Telling stories came in at 16, about par for the group's course, and this week's best-selling seven-incher. Dannii Minogue was also on the second single from her album, Everything I wanted came in at 15. Double 99's RIP groove was also on re-release: 31 in May turned into 14 in October. Still don't understand why. Goldie and KRS-1 entered at 13 with Digital, the biggest hit for the rapper and the Blue Peter dog.

Out of the top 10 went Ash (10-32), the Brand New Heavies (9-12), and Eternal (7-11). Final week in the top 10 for Chumbawumba, dropping two to 10. The Follow That! files threw up LL Cool J, new at 9 performing Phenomenon. This was loosely based on the Mah-nah-mah-nah song popularised by the Muppets, and (in particular) a version by Sandra Bullock, which replaced the familiar chant with the word "phenomenon". This was the follow-up to LL's number 1 hit from February, Ain't nobody, and was the third of five top 10 hits. This was the high-point of his career that's had as many hits as misses - we were surprised to find that he's had top 10 singles over a 19-year period, and only two records peaking between 11 and 35.

Backstreet Boys moved down two to 8, then N-Trance and Rod Stewart put Do you think I'm sexy in at 7. N-Trance were the original Clock, making loud, shouty rap-like songs. Their best-known hit was Set you free, a top ten smash in 1995 and 2001; the biggest was DISCO in 1995. This tune had been popularised by a recurring skit in Muppets Tonight! where Polly Lobster (the bar-tender) and Clueless Morgan spoke to Mr. Callahan. In these scenes, Clueless tried to impress people with his singing; the comparison with Rod Stewart should be obvious. Should we put this new entry up? No, for reasons that should, again, be obvious.

Dario G dropped a place to 6, allowing 911 to have the highest new entry with Party people ... Friday night. Can you tell it's half-term week? It was the fourth top five release of the year for the group, they would have three more hits in 1998 before their one and only number 1 in early 1999 with a cover of A little bit more. The group disbanded in early 2000; Lee Brennan would go on to write songs such as If you come back for Blue.

No move at 4 for Sash!, no move at 3 for Elton John; during this week, it was confirmed that Something about the way you look tonight was the biggest selling single in the world, selling 32 million copies in 5 weeks. The surprise: the Spice Girls are toppled after just one week; Spice up your life falls down the chart. The new number one is Barbie girl from Aquaaaaargh. It's vapid, it's vacuous, it objectifies women, it rams sexual content down the throats of seven-year-old children. Musically, this song is simple to the point of banality; a six-bar refrain, meaningless lyrics, with only the occasional bass shout and a distinctive bridge to liven up proceedings. But it sold 200,000 first week out, it sold 200,000 second week out, and that was enough to make it the best-seller in stores. Well done, everyone!

Still without something to play, we consult the Dr. Fox and his Network Chart. Lutricia McNeil is new with Ain't that just the way, four weeks before release; Shola Ama and Third Eye Blind are still hanging around, Ultra Nate's spending her third week at 26, Meredith Brooks is just outside the top 20 - all of these are well out of the top 40 on sales. The eventual prescription is a tune we'll have more to say about next week, and that might be rather familiar even to those who never listen to commercial radio. Crumbs, that's torn it.

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