24June
The pastime amongst the chattering classes at present seems to be predicting who will be in Mr. Brown's cabinet, assuming that he becomes prime minister on Wednesday. We already know that Mister Tony Blair (prime minister), Mr. Reid (Minister of Funk), Mr. Prescott (Deputy PM), and Mr. Goldsmith (attorney-general) have said they do not wish to serve in a new cabinet. Of the current members, we suggest the following broad movements:
Offices of state:
Mr. Brown (finance) - promotion
Mr. Falconer (justice) - out
Mrs. Beckett (foreign affairs excluding Europe) - demotion
Mr. Hoon (Europe) - out
Spending departments:
Mr. Darling (productivity) - sideways
Mrs. Hewitt (health) - out
Mr. Johnson (education) - no change
Mr. Hutton (employment) - sideways
Mr. Milliband (agriculture and environment) - promotion
Mr. Browne (defence) - out
Non-spending departments:
Mr. Straw (Lord Privy Seal) - promotion
Mrs. Jowell (national heritage) - out
Mrs. Armstrong (crying like a baby) - out
Mrs. Amos (leader of Lords) - out
Mr. Benn (international development) - promotion
Master Kelly (local government) - sideways
Mrs. Blears (godaloneknows) - sideways
Mrs. Smith (chief whip) - out
Mr. Timms (finance 2) - promotion
Regions:
Mr. Hain (Northern Ireland and Wales) - promotion
Mr. Alexander (Scotland, also transport) - out
Mrs. Beckett is worth keeping on board, we expect her to become the new Lord Privy Seal. We reckon Mr. Milliband will be the finance minister, and Mr. Straw will take at least half of the Funk and Justice departments. Mr. Darling may take the other half, and we suspect Mr. Hain will be the new overseas minister. Mr. Benn feels right to become the minister for the environment. Master Kelly could well become the new number 2 at the finance ministry, while Mrs. Blears will take her reverse-Midas touch to something utterly unimportant, like the national heritage department. Who cares if the UK messes up the Olympics? Newcomers will include Mr. Balls, Miss Eagle, and probably the umpteenth return for Mrs. Harman. If Mr. Cruddas is elected deputy leader, we expect he would be given a sinecure such as the Ducky of Lancaster.
On a grander scale, now that the devolution process appears to have reached a stable point, we rather hope that Mr. Brown would combine the various regional ministries into one grand Ministry of the Regions, allowing the Minister for Europe to take a clear place at the cabinet table. There will be a big surprise when the cabinet is announced; our suggestion is that a Minister for Housing will be appointed.
