We sail on the stormy waters
UK Singles Chart for w/c 12 May 1991
Number One
| The shoop shoop song (it's in his kiss) - Cher - 3rd week (Number 664 in seq.) |
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| Highest new entry | Gypsy woman (la da dee) - Crystal Waters - number 3
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Fastest climber
(within top 40) | Fading like a flower - Roxette - up 12 to 14
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Fastest climber
(within top 75) | Highway 5 - Blessing - up 16 to 47
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| Lemming-like fall | Word of mouth - Mike + The Mechanics - down 30 to 72
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| Top 40 debuts | Colour Me Badd, Flowered Up, Paul Weller Movement, Crystal Waters
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| Top 40 exits | Lonnie Gordon, Samantha Janus
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| Top 75 debuts | Colour Me Badd, Divinyls, Bob Marley, Paul Weller Movement, Shabba Ranks, Saint Etienne, Crystal Waters, Wendell Williams
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| Top 75 exits | KC And The Sunshine Band, Secchi, Carly Simon, Simpsons, That Petrol Emotion
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| Simon Mayo's Record of the Week | Kiss them for me - Siouxsie and the Banshees
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(More: Yugoslavia, World Party, why Paul Weller is like Margaret Thatcher, Flowered Up, Wilson Phillips, and Tainted Love
. With songs by OMD and Crystal Waters.)
Down a place to 4 came Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark, with Sailing on the seven seas
. Cor, remember when they had hits? From the sublime to the earwig: the highest new entry, straight in at number 3, is Crystal Waters's Gypsy woman (la da dee)
, so named for people who only knew the track from its very large hook. Those who remembered the song from its stabbing keyboard section were less lucky. All of which leaves no change at 2 for the KLF's Last train to trancentral
, and a third week leading the way for Cher's Shoop shoop song
.
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Pools panel verdict: no-score draw
Sometimes, on the very rare occasion, there is something of minor value in spam. So it was with one that plopped through our inbox recently from someone who was trying to sell us snake oil search-engine optimisation:
We can guarantee you top ten positions in G****e, or your money back [...]
The number of incoming G****e links: 0
Two thoughts arose. First, given that we already have an optimal position in G****e, why should we pay these people one new penny. And second, hey, we have an optimal position in G****e. Our main aim, of disrupting G****e's operation to a point that its index becomes clearly less useful, is complete.
For instance, a search for John Major's mistress on Clusty recently returned our feature article in top place, ahead of the column from Steve Platt of the New Statesman, and a re-print of an interview with Ms Latimer. Run the same search through Scroogle, and we're nowhere. The single most useful article (as determined by Clusty, it's not just us blowing our own trumpet) about Clare Latimer is invisible to G****e's remaining few users.
(More: further thoughts on comments, and it all comes back to a fair distribution of resources.)
The first part of our campaign has finished: G****e is now demonstrably less useful than it would be were it indexing our site, and does not feature any links to us. We can therefore reduce the aggressive re-directs in our campaign. With effect from 3 May, the following rules have been in effect:
- G****ebot remains barred.
- Any references in from a G****e site remain barred, unless they are allowed. This should be an academic point.
- References in from G****e Mail to specific HTML pages are allowed. We aim to allow links to the front page, but our code has yet to be tested.
- References in from G****e Mail to graphics files are barred. The first link in we got from this relaxation was some twerp remotely loading one of our graphics, and we can't be doing with that kind of nonsense.
The readme file has been amended.
We still believe that G****e is a fundamentally evil project, and that those who continue working for it are - at the very best - acting in an ethically poor manner.
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People of Britain, I vow to transform your lives with a detailed redistributive portfolio of prudent and equitable tax credits. Oh yes.
One final point from the election night coverage that we needed to research. Prof. King mentioned the worst results for the government in recent history: the 1985 county council elections had a projected national share of Lab 41 C 30 All 29. (Yes, we remember the Liberal / SDP Alliance.) Young whippersnappers...
The closing summary: that just about wraps it up for the New Labour project. The party smells of decay, it is a busted flush, and the work to get the Conservatives out, and get Jessica Duchen in, begins here.
Mayor Johnson has decreed that no-one shall consume alcohol on London's buses, tubes, trams, or stations. The final hedonistic Circle Line Party can take place on 31 May: afterwards, it's nothing stronger than ginger beer.
The leader of the Scottish Labour party has called for an early referendum on independence for Scotland. Mrs. Alexander clearly believes that this would spike the guns of the SNP, and settle the constitutional position for a generation or more.
The government-appointed Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs has published its third report in five years into cannabis, and concluded that there was no evidence to change the penalties attached to cannabis. Consumption has fallen since 2004, and the incidence of mental disturbance amongst regular users has also decreased.
(More: On referenda in Scotland, the difference between The Liberal Party and the Liberal Democrats, and the government ignoring good advice to pander to the tabloids.)
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